Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
CHAY
“A person who cannot acknowledge fault will never be trustworthy.”
~ Raider’s Ban proverb
S he was the daughter of the Butcher.
I waited, stretched out beside the hearth in a chair that was somehow less comfortable than my saddle. Kadan’s people—our friends—lingered, full of hushed talk we hadn’t aired when she’d been spotted at the banquet.
The daughter of the Butcher.
We were all sworn to secrecy. We’d held the facade through our shock. But they needed to talk it out, and it bubbled around me, excitement, horror, and glee.
Interesting, wasn’t it, that we were here to kill the Butcher, and we ran into his daughter?
Interesting, that she was riding with a Matri’sion, who stood for everything the Butcher hated?
Interesting, that we knew about them both the moment we set foot on his land, but he didn’t know what was happening under his own nose?
Interesting, that she almost cut my throat?
So interesting.
I swirled the beer I wasn’t drinking around the mug I didn’t recall picking up. It was warm and golden. Her eyes had been, too, but more enticing by far than this swill.
I knew better than to touch liquor. I didn’t have the head for it. Or the temperament. It drove men in my family to selfish, violent things. And damned if I was joining their ranks.
She’d been quick and sure with that knife, and fought on the ground like a Matri’sion.
She wasn’t just nobility, she was the Duke’s only child and heir.
I finally set aside the beer. That was exactly the reason Luca was marrying her. Take La’Angi, take the east, take Arcanloc’s military.
Take everything.
Taking La’Angi was nigh impossible, of course, short of unlocking some sort of forgotten old magic to enable you to sell your eternal soul to some sort of ancient devil. Or a freak accident. Or marrying the heir.
She was the Butcher’s daughter.
I’d always voted for the ancient devil, myself.
Kadan fell down beside me with a long sigh that spoke to my soul. “Wild horses,” he groaned, and I realized we were finally alone. Before he could say anything else, a knock at the door drove me to my feet, and I scooped up my sword belt.
He didn’t protest my habitual protection of him for once. He just kicked his boots off and stretched out his toes toward the flames, letting his head fall back. “Pretty sure I’m asleep,” he told me. “Unless you think she’s worth it.”
I couldn’t help but smile. I loved the man’s humor—and his optimism. Opening the door, I found someone I was relatively confident Kadan didn’t want in his bed. “Hi, Luca.” Out of habit, I propped my shoulder against the door, using my body as a shield.
I wasn’t officially his guard. No one paid me to protect his scrawny ass.
I just did it for kicks.
Luca gave me a nod of acknowledgment as if I’d just bowed to him. “Evening, Chay. Is Kadan still up?” he asked me, his eyes already skittering over my shoulder, though he kept his voice down.
“I’m pretty sure he’s asleep,” I told Luca, straight-faced.
“No, I’m not,” Kadan said from behind me. “I was just resting a moment. Come in!” And I stepped back to see Kadan reach out with one bare foot and give a chair a nudge of invitation. “Saw you rubbing elbows with the Duke earlier. Didn’t want to—” he arched his brows “—interrupt.”
Luca, of course, hastened to tell Kadan that no one thought he was an annoyance. When, of course, the Butcher damned well did.
At that point I probably should have excused myself, because I knew well what these two were up to, and someone had to make sure they weren’t overheard.
Did Luca know who he was marrying in a few weeks?
Did he appreciate her?
I scowled into the fire.
“I was grateful your father arrived when he did,” Luca said, his sigh big and gusty. “Did you and Audrey put aside your differences? She didn’t say much to me, but she’s had a very long day and has a delicate disposition.”
The memory of the knife against my throat and the strength in those hands sat ill against Luca’s words.
“She did seem shaken,” Kadan agreed, and once more the man’s ability to bullshit amazed me. I’d seen him do it many a time, but the sincerity in those big blue eyes of his while he lied through his teeth always blew me away. “She mentioned a riding accident. We talked about horses. I think we’re okay.”
It was the floppy hair and the crooked grin. No one could imagine someone with such sweet, unassuming charm could be so devious. Even if his birth had been foretold.
“Well, that’s good, then.” Luca cleared his throat and settled in the chair I’d just vacated. “I was hoping you’d be awake still,” he said, glancing politely at me as if I, too, were someone he wanted to see. If only it hadn’t been so wooden, it would’ve seemed earnest. I wasn’t offended, since the feeling was mutual. I just settled back into my new chair. “Audrey mentioned some changes to the scheduled festivities.” He sent Kadan a loaded look. “Victor—the Duke—” he corrected swiftly “—changed the entertainment, and the large feast on the fourth day has been brought forward, with only informal meals being offered the following day.” He was looking at Kadan as if this was critically important, but I recalled Kadan mentioning this possibility weeks ago. “Many anticipate leaving the morning after the melee.”
“Yes, I’d heard,” Kadan said with a dismissive flick of his fingers. “We’ve passed on the information. There isn’t much more we can do, I suppose.” He grinned at Luca and added, “It’ll be done, one way or the other, won’t it?”
I wondered what it’d be like to be the daughter of the Butcher of Wolfswail. I wondered if it’d be much different from the way I’d grown up, as the sixth grandson of the illustrious General Charles of Black Peak, with the legacy he’d left behind of terror and poverty. It would probably take a few generations for La’Angi’s wealth to dry up. It had with us, anyway. The terror, though…that was a deep well.
I doubted she’d be mourning him.
Luca was wincing. “I wouldn’t mind walking away from the whole thing, honestly.” I kept my eyes on the fire as those words landed in my mind. Might be too hard. Mayhap I ought to retire for a spell, revisit this when the situation is more agreeable. That’s what he meant. Kadan and I both knew it. Typical Luca.
“Don’t wish too hard,” Kadan advised, uncharacteristically serious, and my attention sharpened. “I’d rather you live to see your hair start to gray. Wheels are turning already. We need to steer them, or be crushed.” And, bless his heart, he didn’t say, “As I warned you time and again.”
“It’ll be gray before midwinter the way things are going,” Luca muttered on a sigh.
Why Kadan liked Luca’s company, I’d never understood. When I thought of the way the Butcher’s daughter had sat at the high table, staring at her plate, barely visible she’d made herself so small… Luca’s whole head would be full of grays if he gave a single shit.
She wasn’t my problem. I was here to make sure everything went to plan, not to rescue anyone.
She had a Matri’sion maid. She was fine. Hells, mayhap the maid or the lady would do the job themselves if we gave them half an opportunity.
And yet, something dark coiled in my gut.
“Any extra information?” Kadan asked him, his eyes narrowed. “You can speak in front of Chay.”
They sure could. I wasn’t about to tell Luca to eat shit. He was the best option we had, aside from Kadan, who wasn’t an option. I’d long since stopped grieving the reality of that.
“Not yet,” Luca told him, with a shake of his head for added emphasis. “I’m worried about Audrey, but she’ll be okay, I’m sure.” Kadan made a hum of agreement and provided Luca with some quiet to fill. He sat there for a few moments in silence, before offering, “She takes ridiculous risks.”
“Oh?” Kadan asked, his face the picture of mild surprise. “Surely such a mild-mannered thing cannot be such a source of worry.”
It almost made me uncomfortable to watch him playing Luca.
Luca cocked a brow at Kadan. “Says an unbetrothed man.” And he grinned as if it were a joke. When we didn’t laugh, the grin faded and he drew a deep breath, lowering his voice. “She’s—in a difficult spot. I’m doing what I can to help, of course, but I keep coming up against Victor.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. Good. That was good, wasn’t it, that she had someone devoted to her? Shouldn’t we all have that? I reached down and grabbed a log, tossing it onto coals that didn’t need more fuel, and grabbed a poker to rearrange it.
“How so?” Kadan asked, sounding concerned. Knowing him, he’d be genuinely worried about Luca’s well-being. Luca was our friend, more or less. He’d been around us for a long time, anyway.
And he was about to wear the crown, if we had anything to do with it.
Because he was going to marry her. Take her father’s army. And take the country.
I poked the log too hard, and sparks tumbled everywhere.
“Victor’s a brute,” Luca said, his voice uncharacteristically harsh, his words unusually forthright. “I told you what the Duke did the last time the wedding was postponed.”
Kadan frowned, straightening a little in his chair. I recalled the conversation vividly. Kadan had played it cool at the time to better support Luca, but he’d been shaken. Add to that the history between Kadan’s father and Audrey’s mother, it was possible Kadan was especially concerned about the lady.
Or mayhap he was just lucky that shit still shocked him.
“Are you thinking of postponing it again?” Kadan asked him, all nonchalance gone.
“No. No. Even if I wanted to—which I don’t—it’d be too risky. He could kill her. He almost did,” he added, standing and pacing to the bottle of knappchs sitting on the empty table, pouring us all a short glass. What remained of the bottle, with its pretty little apple design on the label, revealed that none of us had been quick to drink the La’Angi spirits. “During the last tourney, I came to stay. She’s been keeping me away,” he told us, the words tight, the pauses long. “She didn’t say as much, but I can tell. She’s trying to protect me.”
Those hands had been strong and sure, that knife faster than I could’ve anticipated. She’d be able to protect him if it came to it. And something about that made me ache.
In my mind’s eye, I pictured how she’d shrank.
“From?” Kadan asked, his eyes slightly narrowed.
But the answer was in my own memory, and I felt the weight of it in my belly as flames danced over the logs in front of me. Physical capabilities didn’t protect you from the way your soul could be eroded.
“Victor. She doesn’t know what’s being planned,” he explained quickly, passing me a short glass I didn’t want and hadn’t asked for, and carrying the second to Kadan, who took it in silence. “But she has an inkling of what he’s like.” An inkling? Luca’s earnest statement made me swing my gaze to him in shock. Did he think she was living the coddled life of a Duchess-to-be?
She was the daughter of the Butcher.
Glancing down, I saw my own fist, white-knuckled on the poker, and forced my grip to ease. I set down the delicate glass of clear liquid.
“But I came anyway, last year.”
“I recall hearing word of it,” Kadan acknowledged, when Luca’s pause extended even longer, and he picked up his own glass.
The way Luca took a mouthful of liquor as if it were a health tonic and then reached for the bottle again made raw memories rumble, so I turned back to the fire. “I brought her a chess set,” he told Kadan.
Chess. She was a strategist. I shifted a coal fractionally, feeling like someone had scooped out all my guts. She probably had to be, didn’t she?
“She likes chess?”
“I don’t know. But she’s got a good head for analysis.” The words, given so matter-of-factly, confirmed what I would’ve guessed myself. “I only got to play one game with her. Victor came. He found me in her rooms, and he—” he broke off, his mouth twisted as if the rest of the sentence was too foul to touch his tongue.
There was ice in my chest. The poker weighed heavy in my hand. I knew how that sentence ended. I could feel it.
“I tried to take responsibility, of course—since it was my idea. There wasn’t much I could do with a dozen guardsmen throwing me out, though.”
I resisted the urge to glance up and look around the room. Were her chambers the size of this? As the heir to Raider’s Ban, Kadan got the second-best of just about everything…still, even if her rooms were significantly larger, I doubted a dozen guardsmen would be able to get in, much less swing a sword in those quarters. And anyway, you held the door, not the center of the room.
She’d know that. She, and her Matri’sion maid. So if they hadn’t defended…why?
“My sources tell me she wasn’t seen for weeks,” he finished, the words both furious and desperate.
I straightened and returned the poker where it belonged. What did she benefit, staying here?
Kadan took a deep breath. “Well, it doesn’t really change what we’re doing, does it?” I trusted Kadan on that front and stretched out my hips. Was she unable to make it to the tribes with her maid? Was the maid unable to return? Was her heart so tangled up in her hopes and beliefs that she couldn’t see the stars in the sky spelling her destined doom?
“What does she think you should do?” Kadan asked, leaning forward intently, hands clasped lightly between his knees. He was the picture of a concerned friend.
I stilled and turned my attention to Luca. He opened his mouth, paused, closed it again, and frowned as if puzzled.
He hasn’t asked her. The hot ball of fury took me off guard.
Nope. Butcher’s daughter. I struggled to rein myself in.
“I haven’t asked her. She doesn’t understand the situation.”
I was committing treason for this man.
No, you’re committing treason so Kadan doesn’t end up where Luca’s sitting . Kadan wasn’t going to be forced into marriage, and he wasn’t going to pick up a crown. Because he didn’t want what his stars spelled out. He didn’t want the cost of that destiny.
With that reminder, it was easier to hate the Butcher and the small group of advisors who manipulated the child-King, allowing others’ bodies to form the bridge to Velkyn so they might sit beside the One himself. Luca was just an ignorant man I’d always been friendly with and never considered a friend. But I still had to stop my hand from forming a fist.
“You just said she was good at analysis,” Kadan pointed out, his tone holding polite interest. Wild horses, I admired that man. Where he found his patience, I would never know. He didn’t follow the statement up with anything, just letting the quiet sit, waiting for comment.
I struggled with my own temper, reminding myself of the complexities of the situation. People had to do things, sometimes, to survive. Dark and horrible things. I sat with that rage and shame, letting it ebb. There were situations where people couldn’t be trusted with everything. But still, you trusted them with as much as you could, and you damned well thought about it first, so you knew why you were making your choices.
Or you were like Luca—as useful as tits on a stallion.
“I…She doesn’t know court,” he said, scrambling to justify himself. “She doesn’t understand the powers at play. The lady’s wonderful, don’t get me wrong, and I’m confident given time she’ll be an amazing asset, but she’s young, yet, and inexperienced.” I stared into the fire. He just kept on charging, didn’t he? “Frosts, Kadan, she almost broke her neck this afternoon—and she’d slipped her guards! If Victor knew she rode unaccompanied, he’d break it!”
My heart ached for the woman whose whiskey eyes burned, then dropped to the ground as she shrank.
“Strikes me that a person old enough to reproduce ought to be trusted to have a say in actions taken to protect her life,” Kadan drawled, and my admiration for his patience only grew. “She’s the expert after all, isn’t she?” Before Luca could respond, he grinned and said, “So, she rides without a guard, hey? She’d do well in our lands.”
And not too many other places . The Butcher’s men were in charge of training the militias across our country. Every year, we had to work hard to undo the damage their beliefs and processes did to Raider’s Ban. Most didn’t bother to watch the Watch.
Luca’s words died in his throat, and a smile touched his mouth, as if there were anything good about this entire mess. I resented his happiness, and I had no damned right to.
“She would love Raider’s Ban.” His smile was misty, and Kadan smiled along, too. I didn’t, but fortunately they didn’t expect me to. “I was with her the first time she slipped her guards, years ago now—she would’ve been eleven, mayhap. We went for a ride, and a storm blew in, driving us into an inn beside one of the watchtowers that guard the roads. The man running the inn was obviously known to the guards. Well, the men got roaring drunk and spent all their coin dicing with the innkeep. The next day—” his smile widened at the memory, and I was glad that my resentment didn’t “—she stopped off, had a cordial and biscuits. As soon as they got comfortable, she was telling them she’d be back soon, no need for them to stir themselves.”
Kadan grinned at the tale. The look he sent me was swift and unreadable. “And you spoke sense, of course.”
“I tried,” he said, frowning. “But she…well.” His frown deepened, and he took a sip of the spirits. “She insisted I could protect her.”
Kadan’s brows rose, his grin still intact. “Oh-ho. Careful who you tell that tale to. Riding unchaperoned through an orchard with a Duchess-to-be? That belongs in a ballad, friend!”
It wasn’t like Kadan to make those sorts of comments, especially about someone so young. I hid my surprise poorly, judging from the look he sent me that clearly said play along , his charmingly crooked smile fixed as he flashed it in my direction.
“We were chaperoned, of course,” Luca said, shooting him a quick, quelling look. “Audrey’s maid is never far from her side, and that woman is sharper than any knife I own.” I glanced at Luca, but there was no undercurrent or inference in the statement. He didn’t know the depth of truth in his words. “But the point, which you’re missing entirely, is that Audrey takes risks of her own that complicate things.”
How dare she live her life . I turned back to the fire, mentally running through the other candidates we could put forth in Luca’s place.
But Kadan was the one they wanted. And he refused.
Kadan, making a bit of a show of how little he cared—with some shrugging, sinking back in his chair, and a voice both mildly disinterested and cheerful—said, “To me, she sounds like a woman of many resources.”
“She is,” Luca agreed on a sigh. “Just enough to get her into trouble. No one needs to experience Victor’s wrath twice.”
Silence descended between us in the wake of those words. Personally, I’d never seen the Butcher at work, but I’d seen his ilk. Unlike Kadan, shit didn’t shock me.
“Once you’re wed…your claim will be all the stronger,” Kadan said quietly.
His claim would exist based entirely on hers. I didn’t say that. We all knew it. By himself, Luca was the second son with little to inherit of his father’s tiny, poor holding.
Luca sighed and ran his hands through his hair. I didn’t look at him, hunched over his knappchs, anxious and completely misinterpreting the situation. He didn’t see how she’d been molded by violence into someone with finely tuned survival instincts. He’d never understand the cost, or the benefit, of those skills or help her use them in a way that allowed her to reclaim herself. To him, she was a conveniently appealing stop on the journey to taking power.
She was wasted on Luca.
Kadan flashed him another grin. “If that doesn’t make you happy, I do have a lot of very fast horses, friend. You could spend your wedding night in a different type of saddle.” I thought of the woman who’d been ready to cut my throat only hours ago. If he attempted to pressure her into the marriage bed, he’d be eviscerated. Mayhap we needed a secondary strategy. I didn’t want that for her.
Before Luca could get too pissy about the very mild reference to the wedding bed, Kadan said, mild as fresh mare’s milk, “I take it Audrey can ride.”
I deliberately didn’t look up. She might be passable with a knife. Perhaps even better than passable. But she needed some help handling her horse.
At least the question shut Luca up for a moment, though. “She’s adequate and would adapt fine from side-saddle,” he said slowly. “I don’t know, Kadan. It would be a big risk.”
“Doubtless,” Kadan agreed with a shrug. “I won’t press you to take it. But if it feels like the best chance…”
Luca offered his hand, and Kadan clasped it in his own. I tried not to think of her missing opportunities to manage her horse or the reverberations of those deadly hooves on the ground so close to us.
“You always did talk me into things I’d never consider myself,” Luca half-laughed, shaking his head. “Mayhap that’s why I love your company.”
“Could be my golden good looks,” Kadan suggested, ruffling his fingers through his hair comically. “My charm. The way my farts smell like daphne.”
“That all helps, without question,” Luca agreed dryly, enjoying the joke, though it was an old one, as he held out his hand to me. “It’s good to know I have people I can trust.” He looked between us as if he wanted to remind us— me —not to speak to anyone, but wasn’t quite sure how to say it.
I sat there in silence and waited, wondering at what point in my life I’d become a man who didn’t give a shit about treason.
“We’ll say nothing of this,” Kadan assured him, standing. “And Chay barely says boo.”
“I wasn’t questioning?—”
Of course he’d been questioning. And, more out of love for Kadan than Luca, I said, “You know my family. You know my history. If you need a friend—” or if she does “—you know I’ll support you.”
His frown smoothed a little at this reminder. He clasped my hand again, firmer this time, bowing his head over it in acknowledgment.
Farewells done, I walked Luca to the door, shut it firmly behind him, and made sure it wouldn’t open again accidentally.
“Luca’s got no idea,” Kadan breathed softly.
I said nothing, setting the glasses aside with finality. I had nothing to say.
“Ah, shit,” Kadan said on a mocking laugh. “I’m done. That’s it for me.” He ran one hand through his sandy hair, this time in a motion that was thoughtlessly artless—pure, unselfconscious habit. It settled charmingly around his face. “Are you okay?” he asked me, eyes swinging in my direction.
I felt the warmth of the man’s genuine concern and didn’t try to smile or wave it off. He’d know. “It’s different here than where I grew up,” I said by way of answer. He kept looking at me, though, waiting for the explanation. I shrugged. “It’s there. The reminders of yesterday, things I thought I’d forgotten. But they aren’t right on top of me, you know?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It doesn’t sound like the best place, nor the worst.”
I remembered the way the Duke had walked into the room, and quiet had rippled out around him. People had shuffled aside, lifting their drinks like shields, their eyes on him. I hadn’t had a drink and would never use one as a shield. “Given the circumstances,” I said, my mind skimming to his daughter and how she’d shrunk, “I’m doing damned well, ’Dan.”
His hand on my arm was warm and firm. The encouraging smile on his lips paired with that worried expression better than the cider had gone with the meal tonight. “You don’t have to, though,” he reminded me. “If you need to step out, someone else will keep my guts on the inside of my belly.”
I snorted. “Not as well as I can.”
“We’re in the real world, brother,” Kadan said, his grin widening and some of the worry lifting. My heart sat a little lighter at this return to normalcy. “There’s no bonus points for technique, just dead or alive. I take it you’ll sleep in here somewhere?”
I shrugged, glancing over at the couch. It wouldn’t fit me. “Might go get my bedroll.”
“Good. I’m planning on snoring, just so you know.”
“You always snore,” I told him, hoping he might tonight, to jar me from the nightmares I was sure I’d have. “Just so you know.”