27. Caleb
Chapter twenty-seven
I’ve never been to Hallucinogens. I’ve walked past the entrance a few times when I’ve been to the casino’s many restaurants for business events, but never inside the neon club where Lex works.
A huge lit-up tree sits in the centre of the wide-open room. More greenery fills the space, hanging interwoven with pendant lights and lined along the shelves where bottles of alcohol stand on display behind the bar.
The club has a steady crowd of younger people. Certainly younger than I feel. I’m glad I bothered to change out of my suit tonight, opting for dark wash jeans and a white Ralph Lauren Henley that Beth got me for Christmas last year.
I scan the bar, searching for a flood of red that never fails to call to me.
Making my way to the front of the bar, I sit on a stool at the very end.
Disappointment takes root in my chest as I notice her absence.
Perhaps she’s not working tonight, and now I’m sitting here like a fool with nothing better to do than pine for a woman I don’t know how to keep.
I feel a little better with how we left things a few days ago at the salon.
Our fingers stayed locked around each other for a full ten minutes before Claire dragged her away to meet more of Lee’s family.
I stuck with Mason for another hour, meeting Lee’s cousin, Tristan, and some of the guys working at Connors Construction, who Mason said would be the ones working on Gage’s new bar.
But for the remaining time we were there, Lex kept looking for me.
She couldn’t keep her eyes off me, and I know because my eyes were on her for most of the night too.
“Hey, mate, can I get you anything?” A young guy with a towel thrown over his shoulder interrupts my thoughts.
I scan the shelves behind him. “Johnny Walker Triple Malt, neat.”
With a nod, the bartender turns away. I rest my arms against the bar top, surveying the crowd.
I muster up a half smile when the bartender comes back with my drink.
Before I can take a sip, my arm stops. Lex comes through a back hallway, blowing a stray lock from her face as she balances a stack of crates in her arms. I can’t describe all the ways it lights me up to see Lex in a new, undiscovered form.
I’ve seen her hips held hostage in a tight leather skirt when she’s been out dancing. In white cowboy boots that made me salivate. In that pale blue cocktail dress the night of the contract signing that highlighted the shades of grey in her eyes.
Tonight, she wears a tight black T-shirt with the club’s logo in neon pink across the back. Little black shorts that show off her siren tattoo, the curved tail that draws attention to the perfect golden silhouette of her thigh.
Her red hair hangs in two braids over her shoulders. She’s the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
I’ve seen a lot of women, been with my fair share, too. But not one could touch the beauty Lex holds so gracefully. So innocently.
The glass finally makes its way to my lips. I savour the taste on my tongue the same way my eyes savour Lex as she moves around the bar .
Perhaps she felt eyes upon her. Or perhaps fate told her to turn around, but whatever it is makes those grey eyes meet mine, widening briefly in shock.
Like a jolt of electricity, my body welcomes the thrill that comes when her attention belongs to me.
She looks around, seeking I’m not sure what. A guest I might be with. Perhaps uninvited eyes that might bear witness to our exchange.
Whatever the hesitancy, she swallows it down, and makes her way over to me.
“Hello.” That word may have been lost in the music if it weren’t for the fact that my gaze is zeroed in on her mouth. I can’t resist when they’re painted in her signature red.
“Hello, Siren.”
Her hands run circles over each other, thin silver bands are stacked on almost every finger, making me think of the one still hanging off my chain.
“What are you doing here?”
That’s a great question. One I wish I had a better answer for.
“Just came for a drink.”
“And you thought to come here instead of the bar your brother owns?”
“But you’re not at The Wayside.”
I can see the flush as it breaks out on her cheeks. Her eyes quickly dart around, but no one here is paying us any attention.
“So, you came to see me?” she asks.
I can read the emotion on her face, on her body. She wants my honesty; she just doesn’t know if she can believe it. I’m starting to understand that Lex is someone who needs words backed up with actions. I can do that.
I rest my elbows on the bar top, blowing a breath against my hands where they clamp together. Gathering the control that so easily slips around her, I rest my chin on top of my fists. “The alternative was to sit in my empty apartment and wonder what you were doing instead.”
“Well, here I am.” She shrugs playfully. “Very exciting.”
“It’s definitely made my night.”
She fiddles with the end of one braid, avoiding my eyes. “So, I may have looked you up.”
“Oh?”
She looks up at me, chewing her lip as if she’s hesitant to confess what’s coming. “I was curious about the thing you told me. With the girl who was using you.”
“You can ask me anything you want.”
She shakes her head, “No. I’m just sorry you went through that. I can understand why you didn’t want anyone to know about us.”
I lean back in my chair, surprised by her words. “Really?”
“I know what it’s like to question your judgement when the past has done a really good job at convincing you not to trust easily.”
Now I’m desperate to know more.
“And I just want you to know,” Lex continues, “that not once has your job or your name been the reason why I couldn’t stay away from you. Before I even knew who you were, the reason I couldn’t stop thinking about you was entirely because of the way you made me feel.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I don’t know what to do about the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you. Can’t stop wanting more. But every time I push forward, I’m reminded of what’s at stake. I don’t have it in me to be selfish when it comes to you, no matter how desperately I want to be.”
She practically melts against the benchtop. “I don’t want to be selfish either. I keep stewing over how it might affect my brother, but you—”
My heart is pounding as she wrestles with her words. “Yes?”
With glassy grey eyes, she stares straight into my soul. “Being around you feels like something I can’t fight. I don’t think I have the will to fight it.”
My mind rolls over all the ways I can keep Lex in my life without jeopardising our business and without sending myself insane by denying the need I have for her. “How about we try something different?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“We can be friends.” Blegh . The words sour in my mouth, but it feels like a good way to get closer and test the waters without jumping in too quickly and sinking. I’ve never been friends with someone I’ve slept with, so this might be a challenge.
“Can we agree that our friendship won’t affect my brother’s business?”
“You have my word.” I’m willing to give her anything she asks for because I know this feeling isn’t something I should ignore.
It’s life-altering. I feel like I’ve walked around all my life void of this feeling, just waiting for Lex to consume the space.
It’s a surety deep in my gut. I’m not wrong. I know it.
“Okay,” she says. “So, tell me, friend, why were you at my house last week?”
I nod a few times, psyching myself up, then drain the rest of my whiskey before pinning her with my gaze.
“My brother texted me that you were in his bar, really drunk. I was, one, concerned I’d led you to drink and two, jealous as fuck that someone else may have been hitting on you.”
“It wasn’t necessarily you.” She tips her head back and groans.
“It was the whole situation, and who you turned out to be. I slept with someone and then found out they’re literally the key to my brother’s dreams. A billionaire and the city’s favourite playboy, according to endless news articles.
I was scared that I’d mess things up for my brother, and confused that I could even get your attention let alone keep it, and then comparisonitis hit like a bitch. ”
Huh. Most women from my past know exactly who they’re getting into bed with when it comes to me.
But that’s one of the things I like most about Lex: she didn’t know me.
I can understand how the working relationship is throwing her off course.
It’s been doing the same to me, but the comparison? In my mind, there is no comparison.
Lex grabs a rag from the bench and starts wiping at nothing in particular, avoiding my eyes.
“I didn’t know who you were when we first met.
When Claire filled in the blanks, I went down a stupid rabbit hole of internet stalking and then at the contract signing, you were there with Isabelle, and then you said no one could know about us.
I get all that, but I can’t change the fact that it hurt.
It felt like I was just another one of those women. ”
I reach over the bar and stop her hand from the obsessive scrubbing.
“I didn’t expect to see you again after that first night. I didn’t intentionally lie about my identity. And there is certainly nothing going on between me and Izzy, nor has there ever been. She’s a co-worker and a very dear friend. In fact”—I chuckle—“she knew all about you.”
“She did?”
“I couldn’t get you out of my head. You could never be just another woman. The day after the signing, I was planning to get in contact with you. Send flowers to your house with my number. I can promise you, Siren, you are the only woman I have done that for.”
She takes in my words. I can see the way she throws them around in her mind, until she looks up, and those grey eyes ensnare me.
“Are you doing anything else tonight?” she asks, a blush filling in her cheeks, and it’s cute as fuck. “Maybe you can stay and talk?”
“I would love to. ”
“Lex, have we got more elderflower syrup?” The bartender who served me before plucks a lime wedge from a container beside Lex.
“Yeah, I’ll go get it.” When she looks back at me, I feel like I’m floating.
With a sweet grin, she takes off down the bar and out of sight, and I stay right where I am.
I sit at that bar for another three hours, taking pieces of Lex’s time when she’s not jumping into serve or filling in whatever manager duties are demanded of her, hopelessly in awe of the person she is. Until the bartenders announce last call, and I reluctantly pull my numb arse off the seat.
While Lex is distracted, directing staff in various tasks that need to be done as they prepare to close, I reach over the counter and snatch a pen. There’s a stack of napkins beside me, so I take one of those too and start scribbling out a note.
Siren,
Thank you for a wonderful night, friend.
Same time tomorrow?
Caleb x