Chapter 20 #2
“That’s horrible,” Eloise said.
“Why do you still work there?” Ava asked. “There are plenty of law firms in New York.”
“Or you could start up your own right here in Calamity,” Finlay said.
“True, but I’d have to take a step back. And I’ve worked hard to get where I am. The quickest route to partner is with my mom.”
“But at what cost?” Finlay asked.
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Willa rubbed her thumb on the cold glass.
“I’ve done everything she’s ever asked—never questioned a thing.
” She swallowed. “Until I came home and spent time with my dad.” And Decker.
“And now, I’m wondering… Why in the world would I want to become her?
Why would I want to live in New York when I have the best friends in the entire world right here in Calamity? ”
The words hung there until Finlay whispered, “Love you.”
“Are you thinking of moving back here?” Eloise asked.
“No. Not right now. This deal my mom’s about to sign is the kind you don’t pass up. It writes your ticket.”
“By making you partner, right?” Ava asked.
“It would, but I’m not sure I want to stay at her firm anymore. And she won’t make it easy for me to get a job somewhere else, but maybe…maybe I can go in-house and have more of a life.” She shouldn’t have thought of Birdie right then. I’m not her mom.
No, but she was getting a glimpse into a life she’d never contemplated. Of being a mom to a sweet little girl.
But the real truth hit even harder: She wanted to give a child the kind of love she’d always longed for. “My whole life has been built on earning her love.” A realization rocked her, shaking something loose. “If you take that away…I don’t…I’m not really sure who I am.”
“Today, in the inn,” Finlay said, “when you wore a costume and sang? That’s you.”
“The woman who took a leave of absence to take care of her dad, knowing what it would cost her?” Ava said. “That’s you.”
“And the woman who’s doing everything she can to save the family inn?” Molly said. “That’s you.”
Tears blurred her vision, and her heart ached.
Because they were right.
These last few days felt different. Even with flour dusting her shirt—when she didn’t even bake—and holding Birdie’s hand as they crossed the street, it felt more right than the fancy apartment, the glass-walled conference room, and the stacks of briefs on her desk.
In that moment, she understood the difference between running to catch a moving target and creating a beautiful, simple life.
I don’t have to run anymore.
Something inside her opened, a quiet rush of space where there had only ever been pressure. “You guys,” she said, her voice unsteady. “I think I messed up.”
Finlay shook her head. “No mistakes. You built a big, impressive career for yourself. And now, you get to make new choices.”
I do, don’t I?
All this time, she’d believed she had to live anywhere but in this small mountain town. But now…
Maybe she could come back to Calamity. Open an office.
Hope lifted, thin as mist off the lake.
With all the wealthy residents and celebrities, she’d never run out of interesting work.
And she’d be…
Oh.
She’d be home.
And maybe—not any time soon, of course—Decker might be there, too.
A vision bloomed of what that life would look like.
They’d stay in touch—hours each night on video calls, visits whenever he could during the season, and whole months when he was off.
They’d bake pies and spend days at the lake, sorting through pebbles.
She’d make it so much fun for him, of course, he’d want to stay with her.
A sharp alarm sounded in her mind.
No.
Don’t do that.
Don’t turn him into something you have to earn.
She had to follow her own path. She couldn’t build another life around being chosen.
But the image lingered anyway—Decker, Birdie, a life that felt so right, it was breathtaking.
Close enough to touch.
And yet still just out of reach.
White bakery boxes of mini pies lined the stainless-steel prep tables, each labeled in thick black Sharpie—huckleberry, cherry, apple, peach. The swinging doors never stopped, staff weaving through with trays and sheet pans.
“Behind—hot!” The chef’s voice cut through the noise, while at the far end, the dishwashers moved in a relentless rhythm—spray, stack, slam—trying to stay ahead of the chaos.
After helping his dad unload over a hundred pies from the back of his truck and adding them to the rest of the pile, Decker needed to get back upstairs. “I’ve got a pie in the oven. Want to come up?”
“Lead the way.”
Their boots thudded in the windowless space.
“I thought you’d booked rooms at the inn. Didn’t know you were staying in the family apartment.” His dad sounded surprised.
“This gives me the privacy I need, and it’s a straight shot to the rehab center. It’s good having everything close together.”
“Real nice of the Hollands to let you stay here, but the power’s back on. Plenty of room for you at the house.”
“I’m only here another week or so. Better not to move Birdie around.
” Once inside the apartment, he said, “Hang on. Let me check on her.” She’d had a rough night, needing her “fifi.” He’d tried to comfort her, but he had no way to deliver the thing she wanted most. He pulled out his phone and texted Cady again.
Decker: Still no word from Brian?
They’d learned Fifi was a stuffed animal “the kid” took everywhere, but the man said he’d packed everything up and handed it over to Cady—there was nothing left behind. Cady had promised to follow up.
Cady: Nice timing. I just heard from him. He has a box of Zoe’s things, and he found a rabbit in there. He thinks that’s Fifi. He’s mailing it to the inn.
Cady: Oh, shoot. I guess I should’ve checked with you first—are you still there?
Decker: This is the right address. Thank you. You feeling all right?
Cady: On bedrest till the baby’s born, but we’re both healthy. Thanks for asking.
Decker took a picture of the sleeping girl and sent it.
Cady: Aw, she’s so cute. I know I keep saying it, but I’m sorry I left you the way I did. That had to be hard on all of you.
Decker: I don’t think there was an easy way to do it, and you’ve got to take care of yourself. We’re doing all right.
Pocketing the phone, he stepped into Birdie’s room and sat on the edge of the bed. She was so tiny, so vulnerable. It tore his heart wide open. How do I do right by her? He stroked the hair out of her eyes, and it roused her.
She blinked a few times, slowly turning to take him in. “I weady.”
“Ready?”
She dragged the back of her hand over her eyes. “Go school now?”
“No, it’s nighttime. I’m just checking on you.
” He wasn’t going to put her in preschool right away.
He figured the easiest transition would be taking her on the road with him this first season.
The nanny hadn’t agreed to that yet, so the contract still hadn’t been signed.
But with the extra pay he was offering, he didn’t think she’d object.
“Hey, I’ve got good news. Brian found Fifi. He’s sending him.”
“You gots Fifi?”
“Yes. He’s on his way.”
She sat up and flung her little body against him. “You got my fifi.” She clung to him, burying her face in his white T-shirt. “Fank you.”
He wrapped his arms around her fragile little body and breathed in her baby shampoo scent. Up until this moment, he’d been so busy shopping for her, feeding and bathing her, filing papers, and meeting with attorneys that she hadn’t been much more than a responsibility.
He’d kept her at arm’s length emotionally.
Because it was too big for him to handle. Being a father.
I’m a football player. A son. A brother.
Shifting into parenthood had to be tough on anyone, but for someone who wasn’t in a relationship, who hadn’t planned on it…who hadn’t known she existed until a few weeks ago?
It was tough to process.
But just then, cupping the back of her head, rubbing her back, something happened.
Changed.
And it was big.
Bigger than he could describe.
Maybe because she thought he was his hero? And he wanted to wear those shoes for her?
Or maybe because it had finally sunk in.
This is my child.
My daughter.
My little girl.
And it wasn’t that she needed him—he’d always known that. But in the way she made him feel things—tender things—and the way she cracked him open and exposed all the other sides of himself he’d suppressed in order to be an elite athlete, he understood he needed her.
He was only operating at a tenth of his capacity as a human, and she was the plug connecting him to the other nine-tenths.
Making him whole.
He tightened his arms around her. “I’ve got you,” he said quietly.
“Everything okay?” his dad asked from the doorway.
She pulled away and flashed a huge grin. “Gampa, Gampa, Gampa, guess what? Dat big guy founded Fifi.”
“Yeah?” His dad stepped into the room. “That’s good news.”
That big guy?
He supposed he deserved that. He’d been more of a caregiver than a father.
She opened her arms, and his dad lifted her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and settled her head on his shoulder.
His dad and brothers had earned their roles in her life.
Decker had not.
But he would.
Starting right now.
“Happy for you, kid.” His dad patted her back.
After they got her to sleep, Decker hurried into the kitchen to check on the pie.
“You okay?” his dad asked, standing behind him.
He wasn’t really there, though. He was caught in that moment. Feeling her warm, delicate body against his, experiencing an unfamiliar pull in his chest.
And he supposed it came down to trust. Finding Fifi had built it.
And if a simple gesture like that could forge a bond, what would happen after he stood up for her against a difficult teacher or drove her to the skating rink every Saturday in the dead of winter?
How many gestures would it take to create a bond as tight as the one he had with his father?
I guess I’m going to find out.