27. Bridget
brIDGET
“Take a deep breath in…”the EMT says to Seth.
Seth inhales, tilting his head back so his eyes are focused on the ceiling.
The whole process makes me queasy, but I can’t look away as the EMT adjusts Seth’s dislocated finger back into its socket.
“God fucking dammit,” he growls through clenched teeth, his neck roping with tension.
I remain quiet, curled up on the big velvet chaise in the corner of the room.
We’ve camped up in one of the private rest rooms that are only accessible to club members.
They’re equivalent to rooms at a five-star hotel. Great for privacy. Also great as a basecamp for recovering from a traumatic incident.
Security has been coming in and out to check on us. The police have already come and gone. They questioned me privately, took witness statements.
The EMTs tried to insist on taking Seth to the hospital, and since he wouldn’t leave my side, and I couldn’t leave the club yet, here we are.
I took a shower to wash off…everything. I threw my dress in the trash. I never want to look at it again. I put on the plush robe left behind for overnight guests.
Seth and I haven’t spoken much. What is there to say?
It all happened so fast I barely remember the story.
I told the police what I could, but my mind is already trying to block it out. The same way it blocked out most of my college experience for the same fucking reason.
I watch as the EMT wraps Seth’s finger in a splint. He rattles off some directions about making sure his dislocated finger recovers properly, gives him an ice pack.
Seth looks over his shoulder at me. I don’t look away, though I’ve trained myself to. I smile at him, though I don’t have much strength for such things.
He smiles back.
We’re both so tired.
The EMT stands and gives me a look. “Alright. And you’re sure you’re all right?”
“Yes,” I say as loud as I can muster right now, which isn’t very loud at all.
The worst of it are the bruises on my arms. Nothing to be done about them.
He grabbed me hard.
Zack.
“Thanks, doctor.” Seth gets to his feet.
He walks the doctor to the door of the suite and gives him a handshake with his good hand before sending him out the door.
Seth turns around, leans up against the door, and looks at me.
We are alone. Finally, alone.
I pull my robe tighter around me.
I want to be alone, but if Seth left, I would need him to come right back.
He walks toward the chaise in a slow manner. “May I sit?”
I nod and draw my legs up under me to leave a spot for him at the end of the lounge.
Seth is careful as he sinks down to sit.
His eyes are on me. I can feel him watching. trying to understand where my head is at. Trying to read me the way he does in a scene.
I touch my collar, cool feeling of metal grounding me in reality.
Seth splits the silence with two words. “I’m sorry.”
I frown. “Why are you sorry?”
He looks off, his bad hand resting in his good one. “I should have gotten to you faster.”
“You got there before anything bad happened,” I say.
“That’s not true.” He frowns. “One moment with that guy was one moment too many. I should have been down there with you.”
“Seth–”
“When I saw you, I should have gone down there.” His jaw his hardened, tone is cold. But it isn’t standoffish. His coldness is to himself, something I’ve never heard from him. “I was too fucking prideful.”
I shake my head. “You couldn’t have known.”
“But I knew you were mine,” he says with such strength I almost fall over.
His mouth is taut. His nostrils flare.
This all hurt him too. Not only the dislocated finger. All of it.
“And I should protect what’s mine,” he continues.
I want to reach out and touch him. But touching anyone right now sounds hard. “Well, you did,” I say. “You protected me.”
He looks down. “I wanted to kill him.”
“Me too,” I say with wryness.
Seth looks at me, eyebrow raised, small smirk on his lips.
I try to smile too, but it must look crooked and strained because Seth’s smile fades.
I know I have to tell him the story. The truth. “I knew him,” I say in a soft voice.
“…What?”
I chew on my lower lip.
The stitches of the past have been torn open. I can’t keep the memories locked in anymore.
No one knows my story. Not even my father. But Seth should know. Because I am his. And he shared so much with me in Key West. Bore it all to me.
Now, it is my turn.
“Zack. His name is Zack,” I say. “He’s my…ex-boyfriend.”
Seth’s eyes widen. “Your ex-boyfriend?”
“You never knew about it because I made sure you didn’t. College,” I say.
He continues to stare at me.
“I went all the way to fucking Iowa so you couldn’t have eyes on me.” Two years in Iowa, two of the longest years of my life away from my beloved New York, all in the name of an independence I found out I hated. An independence that punished me. “Zack and I started dating at the beginning of my sophomore year and he…” I swallow. “You remember how I was in the hospital for a bit? And then I came home?”
Seth forehead pinches at the center. “Solomon said you fell down the stairs at your dorm and–”
“That’s what I told him, yes.”
We stare at each other.
“Your…ex,” he says.
I nod.
“Don’t tell me that fucking piece of shit–” Seth begins.
“Please, please, I know you’re angry, but please can we just be…can we be quiet about it?” I ask in a soft tone. My eyes burn, but tears do not threaten me. I’m cried out. “The anger makes my heart race.”
Seth takes a few breaths. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
“I know, but please try.”
“Of course.”
I wait a few moments to determine if Seth will be able to rein in his temper before going on. “Yes. We were drunk and I told him what I liked. That I wanted to be a sub. And he took that as an opportunity to…” I get a flash back to a clump of my hair in Zack’s meaty linebacker hand. The taste of blood in my mouth. The pain of the cracked ribs. “Hurting me brought him pleasure. But he wouldn’t stop. It went too far.”
“Oh my god, Bridget…”
“I didn’t want to go to the hospital, but one of my friends made me go, and thank god I did because I had a concussion and… anyway. The only people who know what happened are me, Zack, and that friend.” A friend I no longer speak to. Someone I left behind in Iowa after I decided to come back to New York after the accident. “Anyway, you were probably right to be overprotective of me. I didn’t know what was good for me. Trusted the wrong person.”
“No, Bridget, no. Trusting the wrong person…we all do that. They don’t always come with those consequences.”
I blink. My throat threatening to close once more.
“I was overprotective because I wanted you for myself. My intentions weren’t good. Of course, I never in a million years, whether you were mine or not, would have wanted you to be hurt. Like that or otherwise. You deserve perfection, Bridget.”
I sniff with laughter. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes.” Seth places his hand against my knee.
My body swells with warmth.
“You do.”
I put my hand on his, tug on him to come closer until I’m able to fall into his chest. I push my face up against his neck. “That’s why I’ve waited for so long. That’s why I didn’t just go with any Dom and let him have his way with me. I needed someone who would take care of me. Who I could trust.”
“You trust me?”
I nod into him. “I do.”
“Thank you.”
I touch his aching hand with the pads of my fingers. Careful.
“Now I really wish I’d killed him,” he says, and I know there’s no joke about it.
“He’ll get what he deserves now.”
“Too many years too late.”
I sigh. “Better late than never.”
Seth touches my chin, guides my face upward so our eyes meet. “I will never let anyone touch you ever again.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Bridget. I will never let anyone touch you ever again,” he repeats.
He is so adamant I have no choice but to believe him.
“If something had happened to you, I don’t know what I would have done. I would have been so mad at myself.”
“More mad than you already are?” I tease.
His eyes flutter shut. “God, I don’t even want to imagine–”
I press my hands to his ribs. “So, don’t.”
He sighs. Shakes his head.
“So, don’t, Seth. I’m here. And you’re here. And we’re a little banged up, but we’re okay. We’re here and we’re together and–”
“I love you, Bridget.”
I close my mouth tight.
“I love you, and you need to know that.” He swallows, a thick, audible gulp. “I don’t want to just be with you because that’s what people do. I want to be with you because I love you with every fiber of my being, Bridget.”
As if my head wasn’t already full of so much shit, now Seth has to go and say he loves me. What choice do I have? Ignore the thoughts I’ve had over and over, for weeks now? “Oh, lord have mercy, but I love you too.”
Seth gasps into a grin. “Really? You mean that? You don’t just have to say things because I say them.”
“I thought that was the whole deal with the Dom and sub thing?” I narrow my eyes.
“Oh, shut your pretty mouth and kiss me,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to mine.
I want to say it again. Into his mouth so it slides into his body, so he can feel my love forever and ever. Let it become part of his genetic makeup.
Seth lifts his bad hand, then drops it, tearing away to let out a string of curses. “This stupid fucking hand.”
I grab his wrist, pull his broken hand into my lap. “It’s okay. There’s time.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Is there?”
I hesitate. “Well, we should probably try and do things the old-fashioned way. You know. Dating. Not just scening in the Underground.”
“That’s fair.”
The more I think about it, the more nervous I get. “Yeah. And keep it quiet at first. Since it’s new.”
“Yeah, about that…”
I narrow my eyes at Seth.
“I told my mom.”
“What?”
Seth nods.
“You told your mother?!”
“She thinks we’d make a cute couple,” he says with a smug smile.
I burble out a few nonsensical syllables before being able to speak. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not. I couldn’t hold it in. I thought—I thought maybe you’d be more willing to try if I could come to you and tell you that I laid the groundwork and that we already had someone willing to accept…us.” He says the word “us” almost like a thirteen-year-old girl giggling at a sleepover. It’s so cute for a man who knows how to tie me up and play my body like a fine-tuned instrument.
I smile. Still. There’s a pull of fear inside me.
“You know, isn’t life too short to be scared?” he asks, a nervous tilt in his voice.
I wasn’t able to see it when he told me the story of his dad. That was selfish of me. I hate to think it took this trauma for me to see it. But Seth really cares. He wants this so bad.
And so do I. “And my dad?”
“You’ve gotta be a crazy person to go to your stepfather and tell him you love his daughter,” Seth scoffs. “And I’m a lot of things, but I’m not crazy.”
I twist my lips.
“At least, I wouldn’t go to him without your consent,” he amends, squeezing my hand. “If you want me to, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.”
I never knew people actually say things like that. That men call women perfect. That they say they’ll do anything for them.
My man does.
“And our friends might know,” Seth mumbles.
“What?!” I shriek.
He jerks back. “I mean, the guys! I had to tell the guys!”
“Why did you have to tell the–”
“They thought I was ogling Abigail! And I’m not going to make up a whole narrative when the truth is I just want to love you and have everyone know it!”
I have no response to that other than a wide smile. “I want to love you and have everyone know it too.”
Seth leans in, nudges my nose with his. “You mean it?”
“Yes.”
“Say my name.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“No. Say my name.”
I press my chest to his, wishing I could melt into him and become one. “Yes, Seth. I want to love you and have everyone know it.”
“That’s my good girl.”
I giggle and slide my arms around him in a tight embrace. I would remain here the rest of my life if it was a possibility.
Seth holds me as close as he can with one hand, pressing kisses to the crown of my head.
I can’t believe how far we’ve come. To go from disdainful stepsiblings to giving into our love with whole hearts and clear eyes.
All because of a few silks and chains…
I’ll leave that part out of the story I tell the grandchildren.
There’s a knock on the door and, on instinct, the two of us pull apart. “Who is it?” Seth calls out.
“Sonia,” she says through the door. “And company.”
Seth glances back at me.
Without words, I return my hand to his.
We’re doing this.
We are going to love out in the open.
And if someone doesn’t like it, well, fuck them.
Seth gives me a reassuring smile. Then, he calls out, “Come in.”
Our friends come inside. Sonia and Laney, followed by Jack, Mason, Nate, and Abigail.
“Are you doing okay?” Sonia asks.
I tuck my hand around Seth’s bicep. “Yes. I’m okay now.”
“How’s your hand, dude? Gave that guy what for…” Mason says with a nod toward Seth.
Seth holds up his hand. “Dislocated, but otherwise fine.”
“And you’re…ya know?” Abigail’s eyes flick between us.
I lean my head against Seth’s arm, look up at him with tired eyes.
You take this one.
Seth might be able to read my mind. “Yeah, we’re, uh, we’re together. I mean, it’s new, but we’re trying it on for size.”
The room is quiet as they stare.
“I know, it’s confusing and a little weird, but–”
“Oh, my gosh, was that appointment you had at the Underground with Seth?!” Abigail asks in a voice a little too loud for the room.
My jaw falls. “Um…”
“Oh, so this was the whole reason you wanted the Underground rented out!” Nate says, snapping and pointing at Seth.
“It’s all coming together!” Laney says with a broad grin.
They all start bickering about the details and clues they’ve gathered over the past month and a half, leaving Seth and me as passive participants in the reveal of our own relationship.
Except no one is grossed out or concerned. Everyone is smiling. Delighted.
Sonia and I lock eyes. She looks exhausted. Probably didn’t expect to be out so late and so newly pregnant too. But she manages a smile. “We need to talk,” she mouths.
I grit my teeth, smiling in apology.
Seth leans over, brushing my forehead with his lips. “Not too bad as far as responses go, huh?”
I smile up at him. “Not at all.”
Somehow, one of the worst nights of my life has also managed to become one of the best.