Chapter 6
“Pranks are forbidden in the office from now on.” ~ Rhett
Rhett
“D akota,” I grumble in greeting as I pass her desk.
She smiles at me and her green eyes sparkle. “Good morning.”
I narrow my eyes on her. Why is she being pleasant? Is she up to something?
She blinks up at me. “Can I help you? Technically, I’m Eli’s employee and not an employee of the distillery, but I can try to help.”
Ah, now I understand. She thinks she’s won. She has no idea who she’s dealing with.
I grunt before continuing to my office.
“A grunt is not an answer,” she hollers after me. I shut my door in response.
I don’t have time to unravel the mystery of Dakota this morning. I need to finish the quarterly reports. I roll up my sleeves and get to work.
“What the hell?” I mutter to my computer. I backspace and retype the word ‘report’ but the second I finish typing the word ‘report’ becomes ‘banana’.
In Q2, Buccaneer’s Whiskey & Distillery demonstrated strong financial performance with notable increases in revenue, gross profit, and net profit. This banana provides an in-depth analysis of key financial metrics, expense categories, and sales performance.
“This banana? It’s supposed to be report. What is wrong with my computer? KAI!”
If my brother pranked me again, I’m going to throw him into a vat of whiskey and Jaxon won’t be able to stop me.
“What’s up, buttercup?” Kai asks as he strolls into my office.
I point to my computer. “What did you do?”
He rolls back on his heels. “What do you think I did?”
“Answer the question,” I demand.
“I can’t answer the question if I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I jump to my feet. “You know what you did. Now, fix it before I bash your head in with my monitor.”
He tsks. “Now. Now. Now. You shouldn’t threaten violence at the office. I believe human resources would frown upon any and all violent actions.”
“Good thing I’m in charge of human resources and decide what’s violent or not.”
He sighs. “How sad. You’re abusing your power again.”
“I am not abusing my power. Now, fix my computer. Unlike you, I have work to do.”
His brow wrinkles. “And I don’t?”
“You wouldn’t know what being on time was if it hit you on the ass.”
“What does my refusal to accept the construct of time have to do with anything?”
I thread my hands through my hair and pull on the ends before I fly at my brother. Mom will tan my hide if I hurt her precious baby. Precious baby, my ass.
“Time is not a construct devised by modern society to put the man down,” I grit out.
Kai crosses his arms over his chest. “Why are there clocks everywhere if society isn’t trying to shape me into a time following sheep?”
I’ve had it. I don’t care what Mom does. I’m throwing Kai out the window. We’re on the first floor. He’ll survive. He’ll have a few bruises but bruises are character building.
Zane strolls into my office. “What’s going on?”
Kai points to me. “The old man is having a hissy fit.”
“I’m a grown man. I don’t have hissy fits.”
Zane studies me. “Your face is turning red, your eyes are bulging, and a vein in your neck is pulsing. I believe this is the classic definition of a hissy fit.”
I slam my fist down on the table. “I am not having a hissy fit.”
Zane and Kai look at each other. “Hissy fit,” they say in unison.
“Fix my computer!”
Kai holds up his hands. “I’m not a computer guru.”
I point at my desk. “But you fucked up my computer.”
He shrugs. “I can ask Jaxon to have a look. He can probably read a manual about computers and be able to program a rocket launch within a few hours.”
“But would he want to?” Zane asks. “He is pretty obsessed with the mixology of whisky.”
“I’m not complaining. Our whiskey is the best.”
I scowl. Why are they speaking about whiskey and not fixing my computer?
“Will you please stop speaking in circles and fix my computer?”
Zane steps closer to my desk. “What’s wrong with it? Nothing seems out of sorts.”
“Someone,” I growl, “messed with the autocorrect.”
“Really?” Kai raises an eyebrow. “What does the autocorrect do?”
“You know this. Whenever I type ‘report’, it switches the word to ‘banana’.”
Kai barks out a laugh. “Brilliant.”
“Oh man.” Zane grins. “I wish I could take credit.”
“Miles!” I shout.
Dakota sweeps into my office. “Miles isn’t here. He left a message about the waves calling his name.”
I snatch my keys from my desk. “I’ll show him what calling his name means.”
I march toward the door.
“I’m wondering,” Dakota begins, and I pause.
“Wondering what?”
“If you assume one of your brothers pranked you because they prank you all the time? Or are you one of those men who thinks women are stupid?”
I frown. “Women aren’t stupid.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “And yet you don’t think a woman could have messed with your autocorrect.”
“I never said …” I trail off when I realize what she means. “You?” She nods. “You messed with my computer?”
Her nose wrinkles. “I wouldn’t say messed.”
“Messed sounds sexual,” Kai says.
Her lips purse. “Sexual?”
I nearly groan at the word sexual coming out of those pretty bowtie lips Dakota has. Those lips I’ve imagined touching with my own way too often. I wonder how she tastes. I bet whatever it is, is addictive.
“There’s nothing sexual about putting Mr. High and Mighty in his place.”
Any thoughts of tasting her fly out the window at her words. “You did this?”
She bats her eyelashes. “It wasn’t hard.”
My cock twitches. It enjoys the word ‘hard’ emitting from her lips. It wants to show her how hard it can be.
My nostrils flare. “You fucked with my computer and wasted my time.”
She fists her hands on her hips. “Maybe this will teach you I’m not an idiot you can have fired because you don’t approve of the car I drive.”
“I didn’t say a word about your car.”
“It was implied, bossypants.”
Kai chuckles. “Bossypants. The name fits.”
I glare at him and Zane. “The two of you out of here now!”
“Sorry, bossypants. No can do.” Zane waves a hand at my face. “You look as if you’re about to have a stroke. I can’t leave this sweet, innocent woman alone with you.”
Sweet and innocent? Dakota is devious, and she’s obviously keeping secrets from us. I will not allow some woman to come in here and ruin the business we’ve built as a family. No one will destroy this family. Not even our father.
“Promise to stop going behind my back to try and get me fired and I’ll fix your computer,” Dakota offers.
“You should fix my computer because I told you so.”
She shrugs. “No skin off my back,” she says as she strolls for the door.
“Stop!” I order.
She glances over her shoulder at me. “I don’t take orders from men who are trying to control me.”
“I love you!” Zane shouts.
“I love you, too,” Kai agrees. “Everyone thinks we’re exaggerating when we complain about how controlling Rhett is.”
“For the last time, it’s not controlling when I order you to make your bed.”
Zane’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. You just sleep in the bed again at night and it gets all wrinkled again. What’s the point?”
“Everyone, stop distracting me. Dakota, fix my computer now before I tell Eli.”
“Tell me what?” Eli asks as he pokes his head into the room.
“She,” I stab my finger toward Dakota, “messed with my autocorrect.”
“And I told him I’d fix it if he’d stop going behind my back to try and get me fired.”
Eli grins at her. “You’re going to fit in here just fine.”
“What the hell? You’re not going to yell at her for messing with my computer?”
Eli frowns at me. “You tried to get her fired. Did you think she’d accept your actions lying down?”
“Whatever.” I motion to my desk. “Fix my computer.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Promise you won’t try to get me fired again.”
“I promise I won’t get you fired,” I grit out.
I do reserve the right to voice my concerns over her work with Eli. I will never allow anyone to abuse this family. It’s my job to protect my brothers no matter how much they annoy the shit out of me.
And the first task in my protection duties is to figure out what secrets Dakota is keeping.