Chapter 9 – Logan
Nine
LOGAN
I watch Nalia walk away from my Jeep with a pit in my stomach and my hands clenched into fists, like I’m trying to hold onto the little bit of her that I had in my grasp before she caught herself being vulnerable and cut me out.
Despite how good she had it after she was removed from her birth mother and went to live with the Maysons, I have no doubt that the trauma she experienced has had a lasting impact on her.
It might be why she’s so guarded, why she was okay with staying with a man for over a year and not being in love with him.
And why she accepted his suggestion of keeping things fluid, which I’m guessing was a way of him keeping his options open when she moved here and left him behind.
Dragging in a breath, I scrub my hands down my face, then shut off the engine of my Jeep and push open the door.
I find her standing apart from the other parents, a few feet from the doors, and walk up to stand next to her, letting my fingers graze hers.
I can’t see her eyes behind her sunglasses when she tips her head back to look at me.
It's difficult to read what she’s thinking, but it’s hard to miss the way her chin trembles then tightens, like she’s holding back tears.
If we were anywhere else, I would pull her into my arms and deal with the chance that she might push me away.
“You, okay?” I ask, the sadness in her voice she couldn’t quite hide earlier is still ringing in my ears.
“Yeah.” She tugs her eyes off mine when the doors to the school open and kids start rushing out to greet their parents. When Coop and Zuri find us amongst the crowd, they run towards us, smiling each of them holding a sheet of paper.
“What’s this?” Nalia asks when Zuri shoves the paper into her hands.
“A permission slip that I need you to sign.”
“Are you guys going on a field trip?” She flips it over to look at it while I take the kids’ backpacks from them and start herding them towards the Jeep.
“No, we’re starting roller skating in PE,” Coop tells us, passing me his own paper.
“When does that start?” I ask him.
“I don’t know, I think next week,” he says while Zuri asks.
“Do you think I will be able to join my class?”
“I’m not sure, honey. I’m going to have to ask your doctor.”
“But I feel fine.”
“I know, but I still need to ask your doctor if it’s okay.” She opens the back door, and the kids pile in while I drop their stuff in the trunk. “How was school?” she asks, turning sideways in her seat so she can look back at the kids.
“Good.” Both kids say at the same time.
“How was your friend that got hit at recess?”
“I don’t know, she had to go to the office to get an icepack and didn’t come back to class,” Zuri says quietly.
“Who was the boy that kicked the ball?” I ask as I pull out with traffic, and I feel Nalia tense.
“That was Matthew. He’s a total dick,” Coop says, and I meet his gaze in the rearview mirror. “Sorry, Dad.”
“It’s alright,” I mutter.
“Is Matthew the kid who’s mean to you?” Nalia asks Zuri gently.
“Yeah,” she says so quietly that I barely hear her.
“He’s mean to everyone,” Coop adds.
“Did he get in trouble for hitting the girl with the ball?” I ask, pulling into the parking lot for Sonic.
“He said it was just an accident,” Coop mutters, and I glance over at Nalia, finding her eyes on me with her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“Was it?” I ask, meeting my son’s gaze in the rearview mirror, and he shakes his head no.
“Right.” I pull into one of the stalls and shut down the engine. When the kids get out, I reach over and grab Nalia’s hand before she can open her door, and she turns to look at me. “I’ll send an e-mail to Mrs. McGregor tonight and tell her about what we saw.”
“You think he did it on purpose, too?” She looks to where the kids are now sitting at one of the picnic tables.
“It looked that way to me, and even if he says it wasn’t, it’s better to have this stuff documented in case something else happens.”
“I’ll also send an e-mail.” She reaches for the door and starts to get out.
“One more thing?”
“Yeah?” She turns to face me.
“You try to pay, we’re gonna have problems.”
“I’m pretty sure we already have problems,” she mumbles before slamming the door and walking off to join the kids.
* * *
“Umm, where are we going?” Nalia asks with a frown in her voice as I pull into the grocery store parking lot after leaving Sonic, where the kids shared an order of jalapeno poppers and drank some new drink with boba in it.
Nalia didn’t get an ice cream cone this time, which was disappointing since I enjoyed watching her eat it last time, but she did get a drink, and I was able to pay before she did, even though she did attempt to get to the girl who brought out our food before me.
“I need to pick up a few things.” I pull into a parking spot and put the engine in park.
“Oh, well, I’ll just wait in the car with the kids.”
“Babe, my jeep doesn’t have the roof on, so even with the AC running you’ll be hot. Just come inside.”
“Fine.” She lets out a disgruntled sigh, and I fight the urge to smile. I know she’s ready to get away from me. And I’m starting to see that it’s not because she doesn’t like me, it’s the opposite, and she doesn’t know what to do with that.
“What are we having for dinner?” Coop asks as we walk into the store with Nalia pushing the cart, and Zuri standing in front of her holding onto the handle.
“Bud, you just ate.”
“I know, but it’s going to be dinner time soon.” He runs around to the front of the cart, hopping on.
“How about tacos?”
“Yes.” He shoots his fist in the air, making me laugh.
“Can we have tacos too?” Zuri asks, turning to look at Nalia.
“Sure, I just need to get the stuff while we’re here.”
“Or you two could have dinner with us,” I suggest, and she gives me a look that shows clearly that she is less than pleased with the invite.
“Dad makes the best tacos,” Coop tells her.
“Can we?” Zuri asks, and she stares at her for a long moment before she looks at me and sighs.
“Yeah, all right,” she agrees reluctantly.
“Awesome.” Coop grins while Zuri smiles.
“How about you two go get the tortillas, then meet us back here?”
“Sure.” Coop says hopping off the cart and Zuri squeezes under Nalia’s arm to go follow him.
“On a scale of one to ten, how annoyed are you?” I ask when the kids are halfway down the aisle and out of earshot.
“Why would I be annoyed?” Her gaze meets mine. “I mean, it’s not like you’re intentionally asking me about things with the kids around, so I feel like I don’t have a choice but to say yes.”
“You always have a choice, baby.”
“Do I?”
“I’m not holding you hostage.” It’s a lie.
I am, and worse, I’m using Zuri and Coop as my unknowing accomplices.
Do I care? Not even a little. I like being around her, I like looking at her, and I like the sound of her voice, even when she’s annoyed like she is right now.
I really like the way she smells—like vanilla and some kind of spice—and the fact that I now know she tastes sweet like those gummy worms that she’s always eating.
And how soft her lips are is not just something I’ve made up in my head.
“If I had said no, both Zuri and Cooper would be disappointed.”
“Probably.” I shrug
“See.” She widens her eyes. “You left me no choice but to say yes.”
“Again, you always have a choice, baby, but maybe you didn’t want to say no either.”
“I…” She starts to open her mouth but the sound of the kids running up behind us has her mouth snapping shut.
“We got the tortillas, and we also found Dorito shells.” Coop holds up the box. “Can we get them?”
“Sure,” I say, and he tosses the box in the cart, then proceeds to hop onto the front of it while Zuri scoots back under Nalia’s arm so that she can ride in front of her.
We finish picking up the rest of the stuff that we need for dinner, and I grab a couple other things I needed for the house and head to the checkout line where both kids start to unload the cart.
As I’m using my card to pay, Coop shouts, “Mom!” and I look up to find Kristy walking into the store.
When she sees Coop, who has run over to greet her, she smiles brightly, then looks my way as his arms wrap around her.
Her smile slips ever so slightly as her eyes ping from me to Nalia and Zuri, and I see something filter through her gaze that looks a little like hurt before she turns her attention back to Coop and presses a kiss to the top of his head.
I finish paying, take my receipt from the girl who had checked us out and walk behind Nalia and Zuri towards the sliding doors where Kristy and Coop are waiting for us off to the side and out of the way of traffic.
“Hey,” Kristy greets Nalia before her gaze moves to Zuri and the stitches above her brow. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay,” Zuri tells her softly, moving closer to Nalia’s side.
“Good.” She focuses on Coop, who is still hugging her. “How was school?”
“Alright.” He shrugs. “Boring.”
“Really, and let me guess, you didn’t learn anything either.” She laughs when he shrugs with a grin. “Whatever, dude.” She kisses the side of his head, then looks at me. “Are you guys headed home?”
“Yeah, just had to stop in and get a few things and the stuff for tacos.”
“Awesome.” She focuses back on Coop. “Call me tonight before you go to bed.”
“Okay.” He tells her, and then she looks between all of us.
“Have a good night.”
“You too,” I mutter, hearing Nalia say the same before Kristy tells Coop she loves him and walks off with her cart.
A few minutes later, when we pull up out front of the house, the kids get out and start to run inside, but I quickly call the two of them back to get their backpacks.
“Can we play upstairs?” Coop asks, taking his bag along with a bag of groceries, I pass him from the trunk.
“How about you guys do homework first?” Nalia suggests before I can say the same thing.
“Ugh.” Coop groans.