Chapter 14 – Nalia
Fourteen
NALIA
With the hot August sun warming my skin, I watch my nephew, Nash, and Zuri zoom around my parents’ pool on the motorized pool floats with built-in water guns my mom bought from some online shop.
You can’t even hear the sound of Harmony’s little ones who are laughing and splashing in the small kiddy pool Dad filled with water for the girls, or the music playing from the outdoor speakers Dad has around the pool over the sound of their laughter.
Smiling as Nash and Zuri scream in terror when my dad begins to spray them with cold water from the hose, I hear Kim, my brother Sage’s wife, who is lying on the lounger next to mine, laugh, and my mom, on the opposite side of me, me giggle.
“We should have Dad set up the outdoor movie screen and have a movie night tonight,” Mom says, and I point my sunglasses her way.
“That sounds fun, but Nalia can’t since she has a date,” Harmony, who’s sitting on the opposite side of Mom, says, and I feel my mom’s gaze warm the side of my face when I turn my attention back to the pool.
I should have guessed that Harmony wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth closed about my plans with Logan, especially since it only took her two minutes to share the news with the girls’ group chat, along with a picture of Logan that she apparently took while she was at the baseball game with me, before all hell broke loose. Not creepy at all.
“You have a date?” Mom asks, and I inwardly sigh before I turn my sunglasses her way.
“It’s not a date, I’m going with a friend who happens to be a guy to watch one of his friends perform downtown.”
“Don’t let her lie to you, Mom. She’s had multiple meals with this guy, and they’ve been spending lots of time together,” Harmony tells her, and I hear Kim laugh.
“Who is he?” Mom asks with more than a hint of curiosity in her tone.
“I have a picture,” Harmony says quickly passing mom her phone. “He owns Rafe Motors, is a single dad with two kids, and is obviously hot.”
“Is he who took you and Zuri to the hospital?” Mom questions while studying his photo.
“He is. He also saw Nalia run off in the middle of the game and didn’t hesitate to run after her to make sure that she was okay.” It’s a good thing I don’t want to have this conversation, or I might be annoyed that Harmony is speaking for me.
“He’s very handsome.” Mom looks up at me with a grin then passes Harmony back her phone. “You didn’t tell me that you were seeing him.”
“Zuri and his son are friends, so we’ve spent some time together. I wouldn’t say we are dating.”
“Yeah, and I wasn’t dating Harlen when he was coming over to my house every night,” Harmony mutters.
“Whatever,” I mutter back.
Mom laughs then asks, “What happened with that guy back in Colorado?”
“The one that told her that they should keep things fluid.” I can’t see it because Harmony is wearing sunglasses, but I know from her tone alone she’s rolling her eyes. “Yeah, that’s been over.”
“Fluid?” Mom’s nose scrunches. “What does that mean?”
“I think that means that you are in an open relationship where you can date other people,” Kim tells her, and once more, I feel like an idiot for not knowing that definition myself.
“He told you that he wanted an open relationship?” Mom whispers in horror.
“Who’s in an open relationship?” Dad asks, joining the conversation,
Great.
“No one is in an open relationship,” Harmony tells him, then unhelpfully adds. “Nalia is seeing someone new, but the guy she was dating in Colorado told her that they should keep things fluid before she moved home.”
“Why the fuck would he tell you that?” Dad asks, looking at me.
“He was just trying not to hurt my feelings,” I explain softly.
“So, he said he wanted to be in an open relationship instead?”
“Can we not talk about this?” I mutter, knowing he’s not going to get it.
“Why were you talking about it?” he counters taking a seat on the end of moms lounger resting his tattooed hand on her thigh.
“Because Mom was asking about the guy Nalia has plans with this evening, and she thought she was still dating Cole.”
“You have a date tonight?” Dad frowns at me while I calculate how difficult it might be for me to get my sister over to the pool so I can shove her into the water and hold her under for a minute, maybe two. Just long enough for her to pass out.
“I’m going downtown with a friend to watch his friend perform at one of the bars.”
“So, a date,” Dad mutters, looking less than pleased.
And this is the problem with being the baby of the family.
Despite the fact that Sage and I are the exact same age, we have never been treated the same by our dad.
In his mind, because Sage is a guy, he’s somehow more mature (even though he’s not) and more capable of survival (and again, he’s not).
It’s the same reason Sage was able to date before I could and why he was allowed more freedom to come and go growing up.
The double standard has always been annoying, but it’s even more annoying now that I have proven that I’m capable of surviving on my own despite the fact that I’m a ‘helpless little woman.’
“Who is going to watch Zuri while you are out?” Mom asks, and I instantly feel a sense of dread wash over me.
“She’s staying with Logan’s mom.”
“You could have asked us to keep an eye on her.”
“I know, and I know that she would love that, it’s just that Zuri’s friends with Cooper, Logan’s son, so I figured that she would have fun hanging out with him at their house while we are out.”
“Do you know this woman?” That question coming from my dad in the tone he uses when he disapproves of something makes my spine stiffen.
“Do you think I would leave Zuri with someone I didn’t know?” I return, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of my voice. “I know I haven’t been doing this whole parenting thing very long, but I have gotten the basics down.”
“I...”
“Namalama, can I have a sandwich, please?” Zuri asks, cutting Dad off and oblivious to the conversation the adults are having.
“Me too,” Nash yells after her.
“Do you mind if I make them something to eat?” I ask Mom while I get up off my lounger, grabbing my cover-up from the back of my chair.
“Of course, you know you don’t even have to ask,” she says quietly.
“Thanks,” I tell her, then turn to Kim, who has started to get up. “I got this, stay and relax.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” I slip my cover-up over my bikini and walk across the hot concrete to the house.
When I get inside, I go right to the kitchen and start pulling out the stuff for sandwiches from the fridge.
Hearing the back door open, I brace, unsure who followed me inside, then tense when I see it’s my dad.
“I’m sorry.” He holds up his hands as he walks towards me. “I honestly didn’t mean anything by what I said.”
“It’s fine,” I mumble taking out enough bread from the bag to make sandwiches for all the kids since I know the moment Harmony’s girls see Nash and Zuri eating, they are going to want something to eat too.
“It’s not,” he says softly, coming to stand next to me, picking up the cheese off the counter, and placing slices on the bread I’m laying out. “I overstepped.”
“I just want you to trust me.”
“I trust you, it’s the rest of the world I don’t trust,” he says softly, and my throat tightens. “Don’t ever doubt that I think you’re doing a fucking amazing job taking care of Zuri.”
“I know, it’s just difficult not to take things personally when I’m trying so hard to do the right thing and always worried that I’m failing in one way or another.”
“Jesus, Nalia, you are not failing. And trust me, sweetheart, none of us know what the hell we’re doing when it comes to parenting, and if anyone claims that they do they’re lying ‘cause all of us are just out here winging it and hoping for the best.”
“You’re an amazing dad and mom is awesome.” I drop my eyes from his when my nose starts to sting. “You two are the best parents, and I’m lucky to have you both.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t failed, fucked up, or fallen short.
But that’s life, kid, and I might be older than you, but there was a time I was your age, raising kids Zuri’s age and trying to figure shit out just like you are right now.
” I hadn’t thought of that. It’s hard to remember that my parents were young once, and it’s also difficult to imagine them messing up because they have always seemed to have it together.
“Your mom and I love you more than anything in this whole fucking world.”
“I know,” I whisper through the ache in my throat.
“I just want you to know that you can depend on your mom and me.”
“I know that too, and Zuri staying with Logan’s mom isn’t some slight against either of you. It’s only because Logan lives just a couple of blocks over from me and our kids are friends, so I know that Zuri will have fun while I’m out for a couple of hours.”
“Out on a date.”
“It’s not a date,” I mutter, lifting my eyes to his, catching the small smile that has lifted his lips. Seeing it, the tension in my shoulders dissipates.
“That’s what both your sisters said. The next thing I knew, I was walking them down the aisle.”
“Dad…”
“I love you, kid.” He cuts me off before I can grouch at him for giving me a hard time.
“I know.” I lean my weight into his side, and he wraps his arm around me. “I love you, too.”
“Are we good?” he asks, resting his lips against the top of my head.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He lets me go and then helps me finish making the sandwiches before grabbing drinks for the kids while I grab a big bag of chips, a few plates, and napkins.
When we get outside, the kids all descend on us like a pack of vultures, and Harmony and Kim come over to help get them set up at the picnic table that is under one of the larger trees in the yard.
“Thank you.” Zuri tips her head back to look at me with a huge grin, her hair wet and the bridge of her nose red from the sun. Happy, she’s happy, and seeing it makes me happy.
“You’re welcome, kid.” I wrap my arm around her upper body and kiss the top of her head, catching my dad’s gaze as he smiles at the two of us with a soft look on his face. With the kids eating, I join Mom back near the pool and take a seat on the lounger next to hers.
“You’re such a good mama,” she says quietly, and I look over, finding her holding out her hand to me.
Wrapping my fingers around hers, the pressure against my chest is almost unbearable.
I might not have been wanted by the woman who brought me into this world, but my whole life, I have never doubted that I was wanted by the family who chose me.