Chapter 32 Playlist The Comeback
MY MOM IS WAITING for me, just like I knew she would be.
At least she made my dad go on to bed. I don’t think I could handle both of them launching questions at me. She mutes the television when I plop down on the couch beside her, Margarine immediately sitting at my feet.
She gets straight to the point. “A date, huh?”
“Yes, Mom. A date.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
I stare down at my fingers scratching Margie’s ears. “Because he only asked me two days ago. We just went to the pier. It wasn’t anything big.”
Her eye twitches like it does when she’s trying to keep herself from saying something. She does it a lot when she talks to my dad.
I don’t know what she’s holding in, but she finally settles on, “How did it go?”
“Good. It was fun.”
“You haven’t been on a date like that before. Where a boy comes to pick you up and all that,” she says, then cocks her head. “At least, not that you’ve told us about.”
Ari—my first kiss—and I hung out a lot after freshman homecoming and before he moved, but usually in groups.
My parents never met him, and they definitely don’t know we used to sneak away to make out under the pier, and I intend to keep it that way.
Before Myles, Ari’s the only boy I’ve ever kissed, so it’s not like there’s a long list of secrets I’ve kept.
“No, that was a first,” I say. “But I gotta start sometime, right?”
She purses her lips, like maybe she’d be fine if I waited longer. “Is it serious? Does your father need to meet him? Should we start gathering your dowry?” Now she’s grinning.
“God, Mom. Of course it’s not serious. This was just our first date. Take it down a notch.”
“Hey, I’m out of my element here,” she says with a laugh. “Do you need a sex talk refresher?”
My eyes go wide, and I cover my face with my palms. My “No!” comes out muffled through my fingers, and she just laughs.
“What about that Gregory boy?”
I drop my hands. “What about him?”
Her eye twitches again. “I just thought it seemed like he liked you, that’s all.”
I chew on my lip and glance away. Then I shrug, because I’m not really sure what to say to that.
She might be right, and I might have liked him.
Maybe I still do. But I like Myles, too.
And Myles asked me out and kissed me, and I may have lost my best friend for him.
I want to give things with him a chance, at least. “He’s moving back to Arizona for the school year. ”
My mom nods slightly, even though it’s not really a direct response to her question. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time tonight. And Myles seems like a nice boy. Just make sure you’re being smart, and if it goes on for much longer, we’d like you to invite him over for dinner. With us.”
I groan. “Fine.”
She smiles and stands, then leans down to kiss the top of my head. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Night, Mom.”
It’s official: Summer’s over.
I’ve worked my last shift at Pearl’s. Most of the tourists are gone, and Gregory’s heading back to Arizona soon.
School starts next week—something that’s going to be super weird without Kat.
Does her new school start the same day? We never talked about that before, and obviously I won’t ask her now.
I can’t, actually, seeing how she blocked me.
A twinge of sadness and remorse pinches inside my chest. I’ve spent the summer learning how to live without her by my side, but I never thought I’d be completely without access to her.
I miss her.
I also miss Gregory. It’s been over a week since I spoke to him last. Probably because I’m with Myles almost every day now, and word has gotten around that we’re together. It feels like I’ve been swept up with the tide, and my decision was basically made for me.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever really had two choices in the first place.
On the Sunday before Labor Day, I wake up abnormally early.
Myles and I went to a party behind the dunes last night, the last big one of the summer.
Gregory was there too, and even though I tried not to think about him too much, it’s like my body has this hyperawareness when it comes to him.
Every time I caught a glimpse of him, Jade Frederick was by his side.
“Are they hooking up?” Myles asked at one point, and I looked over to see Gregory’s hand on her back.
I just shrugged and shivered, wrapping my arms around my middle. Myles asked if I was okay, and when I brushed it off as just being cold, he took off his hoodie and gave it to me. I told him, at this point he should just let me keep it, and he laughed and agreed.
I slept in it and am still wearing it this morning. I lie in bed for a good half hour, trying to go back to sleep, and finally give up and go downstairs.
My parents aren’t even awake yet.
Margarine follows me when I step onto the back porch.
I settle onto the couch and tuck my hands into the pouch of Myles’s sweatshirt, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent.
I inhale the cool morning air and let the sound of the crashing waves wash over me, soothing me in a way nothing else ever will.
I smile a little when the first dog-human pair walks past, remembering my mom’s comment about the morning dog parade. I start counting them and think maybe I should get up early more often.
It’s just after I hit double digits when a tall, lone form meandering along the sand catches my attention.
He’s in black athletic shorts and that navy-blue zip-up hoodie he wears all the time.
His hair is long enough now that it’s curling over the edges of his baseball cap, and I know that if I was closer, I’d see the silver chain around his neck.
He’s walking slowly, eyes down, as if he’s deep in thought.
He wants to be alone, probably, but before I even register what I’m doing, I’m on my feet, tucking Margarine back into the house and walking down the path in his direction.
I’m almost on top of him before he notices me.
Gregory’s brown eyes meet mine in quiet surprise. He frowns. “What are you doing up?”
I shrug. “Couldn’t sleep.”
He studies me for a long moment, gaze taking in the hoodie I’m wearing, then nods.
“When are you leaving?” I ask.
“Tonight.”
“Can I walk with you?” I ask.
He reaches up and turns his hat backward. The move is familiar and leaves an ache in my chest. “If you want to.”
He starts moving again, and I sidle up beside him. We’re quiet for the length of several houses.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurt out. “I—”
“No,” Gregory interrupts quietly. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
I pause and look up at him in question.
He stops too, and turns toward me, his brown eyes on mine. “I was trying to look for something that wasn’t there, and that’s on me. I shouldn’t have acted like that, especially when we had such little time left. I didn’t want that to be how we ended the summer.”
I consider correcting him, and telling him that he did see something.
It was there, and it still is. But he’s leaving regardless, and what I decided about giving things a try with Myles is still true.
And Gregory looks earnest—like things really are okay between us—and I don’t want to risk that again.
“I didn’t want it to end that way either. You’re…” I struggle to think of the best way to say this. “You’re really important to me. And I’ll miss you.”
He nods, and his arm shifts at his side, like he considered touching me but thought better of it. “I’ll miss you too.”
“So, we’re still friends, then?”
He looks at me fully, hands buried in his pockets, and his eyes slowly drift across my face.
My eyes, my hair, my lips. My cheeks heat, but I don’t move and I don’t look away.
Several emotions flicker across his features—something fierce and then something almost sad.
Out of nowhere, I feel like I might cry.
But then he says, “Yeah. Of course we’re friends.” He smiles then, and it looks authentic. It feels real.
“Good.”
We resume walking, and fall quiet again as we pass another house.
“We have to keep in touch,” I say.
“Obviously. We’re gonna be pen pals, remember?”
“You weren’t serious about that.”
“I was too.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Letters only.”
“Only?”
“Yup. Texting is reserved for emergencies.”
I groan. “You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”
After a few moments he pulls his hand out of his pocket and holds his palm flat. “Look.”
I gasp. “A shark tooth! You found one?”
“Yup. Just this morning.” He looks so proud.
“Do you love her now?” I ask, bouncing on my toes as we walk. Has all my work convincing him how wonderful the ocean is finally paid off?
“Yeah,” he says quietly, closing his fingers over his treasure. “I love her.”
I loop my arm through his. “Good.”
We continue on in silence for a while. Finally he says, “So. What happens next?”
I don’t even ask what he means. “We wait.”
“We wait?”
“Yep. We endure fall, which is nice enough. Then winter, which sucks. And then it’s spring, which means it’s almost time.”
I hear a smile in his voice when he asks, “Almost time for what?” Like he knows what I’m going to say.
And even though I think he does, I say it anyway.
“Until summer comes around again.”