Chapter 36
“We couldn’t have asked for better luck, honestly.”
Everyone rolls their eyes or groans at Raef’s words. It’s almost like he’s trying to curse us. Again.
We’ve been drinking for an hour in the tavern that’s filled up a little more, with mostly Dothronites of both kinds, having drinks at tables or dancing to the foreign string instruments.
The musicians sit on stools with small tables in front of them, with white-wooded round instruments on top.
There’s a hole in the center of each one with strings running across it, and they use a white wooden rod to make the sounds with the strings.
The sound they make is beautiful, I’ve decided.
Haunting, in a way. Or maybe that’s just my mood tonight.
I’m trying to be excited, because Gaethri has just shown us exactly where we can start looking for the mysterious caves in the morning. The innkeeper was very kind when Gaethri went to speak to her alone, apparently. She even drew him a map with instructions on it.
“Are we sure we can trust her?” Rhydra asks him.
He nods with confidence. “I believe so.”
“Okay.”
Rhydra, Meela, and Raef—all several drinks deep—head to the bar for another round, leaving me with Gaethri and Daegan.
“Can I ask you something?”
Gaethri looks at me and nods.
“Why didn’t you stay behind? Help protect the mountain?”
He nods sadly, looking into his ale. “Didn’t seem like it would make much difference. And I couldn’t be there anymore after… well, yuh know.”
I pull my lips in tight and wait for him to continue.
“Figured I could make a bigger difference for my people if I tried to solve the real problem. So here I am, giving it my best.”
“You’re going to make them proud,” I tell him.
He nods in thanks, avoiding eye contact.
“I think I’ll also get another.”
Daegan rises along with me. “I’ll come.”
It seems like he hasn’t let me out of his sight since we got down here, and I don’t know what to think of that.
When I reach the wooden bar, I order another drink and sit on a stool.
Daegan stands beside me, leaning back against the heavy wood with his arms crossed.
A smile tugs at my lips as I watch Raef, Meela, and Rhydra in the middle of the room…
dancing. Seeing Raef especially, with his giant, intimidating frame dancing around with them is a treat.
But I realize almost immediately he’s actually a smooth, practiced dancer.
I take a long swig of my drink and glance at Gaethri in the far corner of the massive room. He’s still seated, staring out the dark window.
“Tragic, what happened to him,” Daegan says.
I glance over and find him looking in the same direction as I was.
“Yep.”
“Losing your loved ones like that can’t be easy. It would almost be easier to never love at all.”
I ponder his words for a moment, watching the room. “I don’t think so. I’d rather experience it and love fully, with my whole heart, even if it’s not forever. You’re never guaranteed forever, anyway. We all have an expiration date.”
I feel his eyes on me, so I turn my head. Our eyes connect for a moment before he looks away. I track his gaze and find him watching the other three dancing with a strange look in his eyes.
“Maybe you’re right,” he muses.
“Duh. I’m always right.”
He side-eyes me with a look of mock impatience, but then his mouth pulls at the corner anyway. “Whatever you say, Elysande.”
Someone bumps into my arm, and I glance at them for only a moment because the sound of Daegan’s voice pulls me away.
He’s shooting daggers at them with his eyes. “Excuse you,” he says coldly, standing closer to me.
The male mumbles an apology before scurrying off into the crowded room with a drink in hand.
“Why so rude? It was an accident.”
He shoots me a glare before glancing away, not even deigning to respond.
“You’re not very good with other people…”
“No.”
“But you opened up to me…”
“Because I wanted to. I don’t care about other people. I’ve had one focus for years and I don’t have the time or patience for anything more. Chatter, pleasantries, forming relationships… I don’t care.”
“That’s why you have your player reputation?” I tease.
He rolls his eyes. “I don’t… I just haven’t had time for anything more than casual… fucking.” He glances at my midsection before looking away. “It was always mutual,” he finishes with a murmur.
I cross my legs together, suddenly feeling heat between them from the way he looked at me. “But you opened up to me…”
His lips curl into a curious grin before he looks away again, shaking his head to himself.
Confused by his reaction, I also look back out at the crowd, away from him.
A slower song comes on, and I giggle as I watch Raef try to pull Meela in closer for a more intimate dance, only for her to push him away and pull Rhydra in for a dance instead.
They both laugh while Raef stands to the side smiling with his hands on his hips.
I chug the rest of my drink and hop off the stool, feeling good, and feeling like I just want to have fun. Forget what our fates hold for us tomorrow.
“Dance with me?” I ask Daegan, holding out my hand.
He looks me up and down, unmoving, as his eyes trace the details of my dress. “Do I have to?”
“Yes.”
He makes a face, then, to my utter surprise, takes my hand and follows. I guide him out to the floor, stopping at a spot not too far from Meela and Rhydra. And a grinning Raef.
Daegan readjusts his grip on my hand, then pushes my hip and spins me into him. My back is pressed up against him suddenly, and he places his other hand on my hips, pulling me into him even closer. “You asked for it,” he whispers in my ear.
He pushes on my hip again and spins me out so fast that everything around me blurs. But he has me. His grip doesn’t waver, and he’s already pulling me back into him. I face him now as he places a hand on my lower back. I have no choice but to put my awkward, dangling hand on his broad, warm back.
He smirks down at me.
“So you can dance… Or was that just a fancy trick? None of you danced at the ball when you first arrived.” That night feels like a lifetime ago now.
“We had just arrived. To our enemy’s castle.” His eyes focus on mine with heavy lids. “We do a lot of dancing in Torrynth. It’s an unfortunate skill I was forced to learn.”
“You poor thing.”
“I know.” His smile pulls wider. “This isn’t so bad though.”
Warmth fills my belly at his closeness and his smooth words. Damn him.
I look away, my smile falling.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as he guides me slowly.
“We’re not going to be able to keep this up. You guys are due to leave soon, and who knows what state of things we’re going back to. You might be kicked out anyway.”
“I know,” he murmurs.
“We’ll have to figure out a way to communicate. Use a messenger we trust or something. I don’t know…”
He stares at me for a beat, his gaze boring into mine. “Come with us.”
“I—what?”
“You heard me.”
“I can’t just… come with you. To Torrynth?”
“Yes.” He’s completely serious. “And Meela too. And Rhydra and Gaethri.”
“I can’t…” For so many reasons. But what else can I say?
That it’s becoming impossible to be around him?
That every time he’s in the same room as me I can barely focus?
And that it hurts deep in my chest knowing he doesn’t feel the same?
I can’t go to his homeland and continue to torture myself.
And I know that’s selfish. Our mission should be the top priority.
But I don’t know if going there would be more beneficial for our mission anyway. It’s not like any of the relics are hidden in the heart of Torrynth. If we had suspicions that any of them were, then we’d be having a completely different discussion.
“Why not?”
“For starters… our library.”
“Yeah. We can visit other regions, check out some of their books. Maybe they have something more useful. Less censored. Or… we can simply talk to people. That seems to be helping us more than any of the books ever did.”
I shrug a single shoulder. He pushes me away and everything around me spins, which seems to match the inside of my head at the moment.
“What else?”
“The diadem is probably in the castle somewhere.”
“You’ve never seen it your whole life. Maybe it’s not. Or, maybe, we find someone who does know.”
“That’s a gamble.”
“What else?”
“Meela, Gaethri, Rhydra…”
“Yes?”
“We don’t know if they’ll agree to it.”
“They will.”
“You don’t know Meela,” I mumble.
“If you go, she’ll go.”
I remain silent for a moment as I mull everything over. We sway and twirl slowly, and he patiently waits while I contemplate the shocking proposal.
“I can’t go with you, Daegan,” I tell him, barely above a whisper.
“I know not everything is about me, but… is it because of me?”
A short, clipped laugh escapes me. “No.”
His eyes dance back and forth between my eyes, searching. I don’t think he believes me, but he doesn’t push.
He pulls me in a little closer to him. “We can talk about it after we find the blade.”
“Okay.” I don’t meet his eyes. I don’t think I’ll change my mind on this one. Unless something catastrophic happens.
Raef saves the moment, walking up to us with a pout. “Can I have a dance?”
To my surprise, Daegan looks at him with what could be considered a territorial male glare. But I speak up first, already letting go of him. “Of course.”
“I knew you would.” He smiles, ignoring Daegan.
He spins me like Daegan did, but also not at all like Daegan did.
“What were you and my brother talking about?” It warms my heart that they’re so close, even if they aren’t true brothers. I like that Raef has someone looking out for him, and so does Daegan. No matter what.
“The usual. How he’s a giant ass.” I smile.
He laughs, and we both glance at Daegan, who’s standing off to the side in his usual rigid stance, looking particularly displeased.
Raef waves teasingly at him, then shifts his focus back to me. “Seriously, though. It looked pretty tense.”
“Well, you don’t miss a thing.”