Chapter 58
“Are you sure it’s safe out here?” I ask Daegan as he sets a soft cloth down on the ground and lays out a spread of food.
After some shopping at the market, where Daegan bought me a few outfits, some soaps, and a single purple flower, we dropped everything back at the inn.
Then Daegan came to my door and asked me to go somewhere with him again.
He led us just outside of town to a beautiful grove hidden in the gray trees.
There’s a stream trickling nearby, and it’s lined with breathtaking plants that are dotted with tiny, glowing, blue and green flowers. The trees here have drooping, wispy branches with light green leaves. It’s beautiful. And magical. And probably cursed.
Sometimes I think I’ll miss parts of the curse. It’s all I’ve known my whole life. If we succeed, everything we know will slowly change. The foliage will shift into something else, people will change, and will I even like the sun? The moon? The stars? I have no idea.
Obviously, none of that is enough to say fuck it and abandon the whole plan.
Entire species are dying out. But I can’t deny that I’m a little scared of what the future will look like.
I just hope he’s in it. Sometimes I fantasize about running away with him and forgetting it all, but the curse is killing the dragons too. He could be next. I can’t have that.
“For now. Don’t worry, I won’t make the same mistake again,” Daegan replies to my concern. “Anyone who comes near you is getting charred before they can get close enough to fucking touch you. I promise.”
I smile down at him as he leans back against a tree, his legs stretched out in front of him, one boot crossed over the other.
I kneel on the other side of the setup so I’m facing him, my new blue dress fanning out around me.
It’s pretty, but casual, so I can wear it anywhere, really.
I grab a berry and take a bite as he watches me with the corner of his lip turned up.
The sight of him with his elf ears is a little jarring, even though they probably look real to an outsider.
Luckily, you can barely see them peeking out through his sandy brown hair. Just the tips. “What?”
“Just watching you.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t have nearly enough memories of you to play through my head while we were… separated. I’m gathering more.”
Well, that was really fucking sweet.
I take a deep breath as I hold his gaze. We might not get more time alone like this for a while, so… “What did they do to you?” I ask in a whisper.
He holds my stare, unwavering. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“And you’re… okay?”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
I release a massive sigh of relief. One that feels like it’s been sitting on my chest for a year, crushing me and hindering my ability to take a full breath.
“How many elves did you kill on the way out?”
He tips his head at me, as if he doesn’t want to tell me the answer.
“A lot?” I press.
“A lot.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, hanging my head, tearing at a piece of bread.
“What are you sorry for, Elysande?”
“It’s all my fault. Getting you guys involved. Getting… Meela involved. Getting you captured.”
Daegan sits up on his knees. He grabs my face with both hands, forcing me to look at him. “Elysande, none of this was your fault. We’d be nowhere near as close to breaking this thing if you hadn’t trusted us and let us in. We’d be lost without you. I’d be lost without you.”
I shake him off. I don’t deserve those words. “Stop it,” I say, shaking my head so his hands release me. “You didn’t see me on that island. I was fucking pathetic. I gave up. On myself, on you, on everyone.”
“That’s not true.”
“How would you know!” I’m on my feet now, my voice raised and shaky. He hops to his feet too. “You weren’t there.”
He dips his head, and I try to fight the tears that are burning in my eyes.
“I know you. You never gave up. Maybe you had a tough time for a while, but you never truly gave up, did you? I know you were out there swimming every day for months. I know you pretended to like a person you loathe because you were so desperate to get out. That doesn’t sound like a person who gave up to me. ”
I shake my head. “I couldn’t get to you,” I whisper. The admission crushing me all over again.
“And I couldn’t get to you,” he adds, his voice nearly cracking at the end. “And it fucking killed me. Every. Single. Day. Every single day I woke up knowing that I made a promise to find you, and I was failing that promise.”
I hang my head again. “I hated myself for not being able to save any of us. And…” I take a deep breath. “I was mad at you for not coming either. I’m sorry. I know you were suffering, but I was in a dark fucking place. You tried. I know that now. Part of me was afraid that…”
I meet his eyes and find they’re swimming with pain and anguish. I hate myself for ever thinking that, but I want him to know everything. To know the ugliest parts of me, no matter how hard it is to admit. “That what? That I was mad at you? That I didn’t love you? And I just left you there?”
“Yes,” I whisper, unable to meet his gaze as I admit it to him.
He steps closer, reaching out to grab my hands.
He holds them, pleading and desperate. “You are the one thing that got me through. All I used to care about was breaking the curse, but now I just want to spend whatever time I have with you. I thought of you, dreamed of you, every fucking day.” He reaches out and gently grabs my hair with two fingers.
“I never stopped thinking about you for a moment,” he whispers, shifting his eyes from the piece of hair to my eyes.
Time could freeze as he looks at me like that, like I’m the only important thing in the world.
He continues. “I’m so fucking sorry for how I reacted when I first showed up.
I imagined that moment so many times, and I never pictured your lips being on another’s when I saw you again for the first time.
It crushed me. Nothing I went through in the castle compared to that pain.
But I was stupid for doubting you, for thinking you’d ever want to put your mouth on his again. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I breathe. “You were right to think the worst in that moment. I… hated every minute of being with—”
“Please don’t,” he says, shaking his head and cutting me off. “I’m glad you did whatever you could to get out, but I really don’t want to know the details.”
“I only kissed him,” I say anyway, because for some reason, I really need him to hear that. “You’re the only one I’ve thought about, the only one I would…”
The ghost of a smile touches his haunted expression. “Part of me wished you moved on when I saw it… I could’ve let you go. Let you live.”
“Don’t say that.”
His jaw ticks as he focuses his eyes on me again, and his mouth is tight as he nods.
“It doesn’t matter now. You’re mine, and I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you.
Whatever you had to do to get out of there, I don’t care.
It’s behind us now, and I’m never letting you go again.
I tried to stay away before. I couldn’t. ”
His arm reaches around me and his palm grabs onto my lower back as he pulls me closer. I’m still caught in his gaze that drinks me in like I’m water he hasn’t had in days. “Don’t,” I finally whisper.
“I won’t,” he murmurs as he leans in and places his lips on mine.
Sparks shoot through my entire body on impact.
This world is so cruel for depriving me of this when I was just beginning to get a taste of it.
I reach up and grab his hair with both hands, with no plans of setting him free anytime soon.
I could live here, just him and me, as he runs his hands along my body, clutching onto me with an equal level of desperation.
He pulls back for a moment, resting his forehead against mine, and I breathe into him as I try to catch my breath. “Stay with me tonight,” I say against his lips.
“I was planning on it,” he says with a smile.
He lifts me up, in the middle of this little clearing in the forest, and I wrap my legs around him as he kisses me deeper. I don’t know how long it lasts. I don’t care. His lips feel like a dream, and I never want to wake up. I want them on every part of me.
Finally, he pulls his head back and looks at me, still holding onto my ass.
I rest my arms on his shoulders and smile at him. “What?”
“Just taking you in. I like the way your lips look when I’m done kissing you.”
“Oh yeah? What else do you like?”
“Everything,” he murmurs as he leans in to plant another kiss on my lips.
“You know, you never even got to show me what you can do. I have high expectations for the highly sought-after wannabe dragon prince.”
He laughs, taking a knee as he sets me on my back on the cloth he laid out. He looms over me, a wicked smile pulling at his lips. “Is that right?”
“Yes.”
He leans down and kisses my neck softly, then slowly trails more kisses down to my collar bone.
I grab onto his back, feeling all of his hard, chiseled muscles. There’s a strong need growing in me, one that’s felt from my stomach to between my thighs. I arch my back as he kisses up along my jaw, then works his way to my mouth again.
A soft moan escapes me as I press myself against him, feeling how hard he is. My desperation for him outweighs my unease of being in the middle of the forest. I don’t care.
“Daegan,” I breathe, pressing against him more.
A deep, soft moan passes through his lips as he pulls back, resting on his knees. He gazes down at me with a look that could make me come undone all on its own. His hands rest on my thighs as he twists his neck, looking pained.
“What’s wrong?”
“Not here in the fucking dirt.” He presses his thumbs into the crease of my hips roughly as he grabs them and pulls me closer to him. “I want to take my time with you.” He leans down and places one more kiss on my lips before standing, grabbing my hands, and helping me up with ease.
“Are you sure about that?” I ask, running my hand down his chest.
He grabs my hand and stops it, keeping it against his chest. He tilts his head up to the veil, his neck bobbing as he swallows. “No,” he says as he lowers his head to look at me again.
But then he releases my hand and moves to pack up our stuff. I help him, and before I know it we’re back on a horse, riding back to town.
This was a dream, but we really need to meet with everyone else and discuss how we’re going to retrieve that damn necklace.