Chapter 63
I feel sore all over. What happened? Did I drown? I remember going under…
No, that’s not right.
I did feel like I was close to death, but I also remember feeling completely safe, because he had me.
At the sound of a grunt nearby, I open my eyes and turn my head slightly to find the source of the noise.
Daegan.
He’s sitting in a chair beside my bed, staring off into the distance while he bites his lip. His eyebrows are knitted together so tightly I imagine it must take tremendous effort to maintain the expression.
I shift, causing him to glance down, and his entire face loosens in an instant. He’s at my side, kneeling by the bed, taking my hand in his. He places a kiss on it, never taking his eyes off mine.
“Hello,” I say.
His lips pull back and he almost laughs a little. Almost.
“Hello.”
“How long was I out?”
“Two days,” he says, his expression returning to the grim one from before.
“That’s a nice nap.”
He doesn’t laugh this time. Instead, he looks intensely into my eyes, and I melt.
“I was so fucking scared.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever hide something like that from me again, Elle. What the fuck were you thinking?”
My head feels heavy, but I attempt a nod.
“Where are we?” I ask, my voice weak. I look around while trying not to move too much. I still feel incredibly groggy, and my body feels heavy.
“We made it to the village.” He pauses to place his lips against the back of my hand again. “This is the home of a healer.”
“Can we trust them?”
He shrugs. “We were desperate. And it’s been fine for two days. We should probably move as soon as you’re able, though.”
I begin to sit up, but he presses his hand to my chest, forcing me back down gently. “I didn’t mean right this minute.” He smiles, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. “You’re never going to not worry me, are you?”
“You decided to like the one elf who had a ridiculous idea to break the curse on the land all by herself. What do you think?”
He chuckles and looks down at our interlocked hands.
“What?”
“I wish…” He stops, his eyes still focused on our hands, and his brows furrow like he’s in pain.
“What do you wish?”
“Nothing.” He meets my eyes again, his expression softening. “It’s just funny that you think I like you.”
My stomach feels hollow, but still, he wears that smirk.
“Elysande, I spent over a year being locked up in solitude and tortured by your own people, your own father, and still all I thought of every single day was your face, your laugh, your kind heart… No, I don’t fucking like you.
What I feel for you could move mountains, turn this fucking world upside down.
If there was ever a love in this world powerful enough to take form and shatter the veil, it would be my love for you. ”
I try to sit up. I need to be closer to him. But as soon as I activate my stomach muscles, I wince in pain and have to lie back down.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks gently, placing his other hand on my thigh. “Please rest.”
“Sorry.” I meet his gaze “I was trying to get closer—” I wince again. “To you.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “See what I mean?”
I look at him, my mouth in a tight line, and I reach out to touch the side of his face. He helps me out by leaning closer.
The loose pieces of hair that hang over his face make my heart ache. He looks like he hasn’t left my side in days, but he’s still never looked more beautiful, with his perfect nose, stubble on his sharp jaw, full lips, and eyes that I can never resist getting lost in. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I don’t deserve you,” he responds. His eyes look full of anguish.
“Not this again,” I say softly.
He shakes his head. “I’ll never deserve you.”
“You do, and you have me. All of me. Forever.”
He looks at me through his thick lashes. “Sometimes I wish I could just snatch you away. We could run away together and forget all about this curse-breaking business. Is that terrible?”
“No.” I shake my head slowly, studying his features. “You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself, though. Knowing the solution was within your grasp and you just… ran away. Every shifter that died too early, every species that continued to suffer or go extinct, your mom and your sister…”
He nods his head, a somber look crossing his face. “Could you?”
“What?”
“Live with yourself.”
“No.”
“I know,” he whispers. “Get some more rest, okay? I’ll be here. I promise.”