Chapter 1
TWO WEEKS LATER
I sighed heavily as I listened to Ellis pleading his case on the other end of my phone while I packed for my trip. When I told him I needed space, he didn’t seem to comprehend exactly what space meant. He showed up at my place the day after the proposal begging to talk to me, but I wasn’t having it. He’d tried using his key to get in, but I had the chain on the door.
For a solid thirty minutes, he stood outside, talking to me through a crack. The man was damn near in tears as he apologized and begged me to tell him what he could do to make things right. That wasn’t something I could do. He was smart enough to figure out where he’d gone wrong. Hell, I’d laid it out for him already. An apology wouldn’t fix what was wrong with our relationship and neither would marriage.
“Willow, baby, please.”
“Ellis, I don’t have time for this right now.”
“If you love me, you’ll make time.”
“You’re in no position to give me an ultimatum, Ellis Thompson.”
“I’m not giving you an ultimatum, baby, I just want you to talk to me.”
I stopped packing and stood upright. “Okay, Ellis. I’ll talk and you can listen. After that, do what you will with this information.”
“I’m listening.”
“I don’t want to be with you if I can’t be my authentic self. I want you to do some reflecting. Think about the woman I was when you met me and the woman I am now. Think about the way your mother treats me… the things she says to me and I’m just supposed to brush it off because she’s my elder.
“And then there’s you. I’m not a doll or a trophy, love. You can’t dress me up and parade me around like I’m just arm candy. I was not born to be of service to you!”
“I know that, Willow.”
“Do you? Do you remember the conversation we had about marriage and kids a while back? You flat out said if we ever got married, I could just be a housewife because I wouldn’t have time to run my business once we started having children. Do you know how asinine and sexist that was? You expected me to agree with giving up a business I built from the ground up to wait on you hand and foot while taking care of your big headed ass children.”
“Okay, maybe I was sleeping for that. I’m sor?—”
“Stop apologizing!” I yelled. “You’re listening to respond, not to comprehend, and that’s a problem. Hear this. You know what I feel, Ellis? Insignificant. Insufficient. Unimportant. I feel like I’m not enough and you do nothing to make me feel otherwise. Not with you and for damn sure not with your bougie ass mama. I’m a good woman and I bring too much to the table to accept anything less than I deserve. If you can’t be the man I need or treat me like the queen that I am, you can forget that I exist. Now, I have to finish packing for my trip. Goodbye.”
I hung up and put the phone on do not disturb so I could finish packing. My flight back home to Rose Haven was leaving in a few hours. I was returning to attend my ten-year class reunion as well as spend some much needed time with my parents. They had no idea that I was coming and I couldn’t wait to surprise them.
Anna and Willard Dawson were two of my favorite people in the world. Even with me being a few states away, I made it a point to speak with them three times a week and went home once a month for a week. This visit was different, however. Because I was my own boss these days, I could work from anywhere.
I owned and operated a very successful drop shipping business called Ship Happens. It afforded me a relaxed lifestyle and all the more reason to take an extended stay this time around. I’d packed enough clothes for three weeks, but I could possibly stay longer. My laptop was packed so I could still work and be productive.
I finished packing and booked myself an Uber to the airport. I had just enough time to bring my things out front and grab a small bite to eat before the notification chimed that the car was here. Grabbing my suitcases and carry-on bag, I left the house. After ensuring it was all locked up, I made my way down the driveway where the driver was waiting to put my things in the back.
No sooner than I climbed in the car was my phone ringing. I just knew it was Ellis, but it was my best friend, Shirah, from back home. I smiled as I answered.
“Hey, girl.”
“Mmm hmm. Don’t sound all cheerful to speak to me, ho. You’ve been acting real funny with me lately and I’m inclined to beat your ass when you step off that plane.”
I sighed. Shirah had been my girl since third grade. We’d always been thick as thieves and did everything together. We went to the same college and while I chose to stay after graduation, she went back home to Rose Haven to open her business. We remained close, but my isolation for the last couple months kept me from reaching out as much.
Shirah could hold a grudge, so I was going to have to do a lot of ass kissing to make this up to her.
“Shy…” I wined. “You know I love you, boo.”
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me hangin’. You’re lucky I agreed to pick you up from the airport. I should have let your flakey ass walk.”
“I’m sorry, Shirah. It’s been a lot going on and I just haven’t had the capacity for people like I used to. I love you and I promise we’re gonna spend a lot of time together when I touch down.”
“Oh, I know we are. You’re gonna make up for neglecting me and it will be on my terms.”
I giggled. “Deal. I’m on the way to the airport now. Remember, my flight lands at two.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember. I’ll be there. Love you, bitch.”
“I love you more.”
We blew each other kisses before disconnecting the call. I sat back in my seat and focused my attention out the window. In a few short hours, I would be home.
Maybe this visit would get me back to… me.
* * *
ROSE HAVEN
I squealed as I ran toward Shirah in the airport. Even though she was mad at me, she was still excited to see me. I jumped into her arms, and she swung me around as we both cried tears of happiness. When she placed me on my feet, she playfully shoved me away.
“Get off me, bitch. I’m still mad at you.”
“Come on, Shy. I really missed you, boo.”
“As you should.”
She grabbed one of my rolling suitcases and started walking away. I caught up to her and looped my arm through hers as we strolled through the airport. Taking in the familiar sights and sounds gave me an almost nostalgic feeling. There was nothing like being home.
After a five-minute walk, we made it to Shirah’s Jeep. She helped me load my bags into the back before we climbed in and drove off.
“So, what’s new with you?” I asked. “How is Aunt Lilith and Uncle James?”
“Same old, same old, girl. They are still my blueprint for a loving relationship, just like your parents. Always hugging and kissing all over each other. Ugh! They’re so cute, I can’t stand it.”
I giggled. “They really are. I want a love like that,” I said absentmindedly.
“Um… don’t you have a love like that? What happened to Ellis?”
“Girl.” I sighed heavily, preparing to tell her about the last two weeks. “Ellis and I are on a break.”
“A break? Why?”
“Because he proposed to me, Shy.”
“Get the fuck outta here! He proposed and didn’t invite any of us?”
“Exactly. On top of that… Shy, I don’t know if I want to be with him anymore. Like, I feel like I lost myself during the course of this relationship. I became who he wanted me to be to fit in with his people and I hate myself for that.”
“Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you have changed.”
My head snapped in her direction. “Why wouldn’t you say something? You gather me any other time, Shirah.”
“Because who can compete with pillow talk? I realized you had a man. Who was I to tell you who to be? Now that I know you have a problem with it, I just have one question.”
“What’s that?”
“Did he force you to change to fit his lifestyle? I know how much you despise his mother’s snooty ass.”
“Honestly, Shy, he was suggestive and to avoid conflict, I just kind of went along with it. Then it became this whole thing where it was expected. It just got out of hand after that and that’s on me.”
She sighed. “Well, you’re home now and if anybody can bring the old Willow out, it’s me. Prepare to be sick of me.”
“I could never get sick of you, girl. I’m so happy to see you, Shy. And you look so good!”
She grinned and stuck out her tongue as she twerked a little in the driver’s seat. “Thank you. I’ve been in the gym, getting this body snatched. My skin is glowing. My hair is growing and I’m fuck nigga free.”
“Wait! You and Ian broke up?”
“We did. I had to stop giving energy to a dead situation. Ian was never going to change.”
Shirah and Ian had been together off and on since high school. He was her first everything. The problem with that was, Ian was the typical ain’t shit, toxic ass nigga. She put up with a lot from him. They’d been doing the whole make up to break up thing for years now. Low key, I was happy she’d finally seen the light because my girl could do better.
“I guess we’re both single, then,” I said.
“No, no, no. I’m single; You’re on the fence.”
I rolled my eyes, but she was right. I needed to make the best of my time away from Ellis and he needed to do the same with his time away from me. If he really wanted me, he would take a long, hard look at things and see where and what he needed to fix.
Shirah and I continued to talk as she drove me to my childhood home. The closer we got, the more excited I became. I couldn’t wait to fall into my father’s arms for a hug that only he could give. I couldn’t wait to have a belly full of my mama’s good ol’ southern cooking. Coming home always made me feel so loved. Right now, I needed that.
Twenty minutes later, we pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the Jeep and sprinted up to the front door. Covering the peephole, I rang the doorbell. A few seconds passed before the door cracked open and my mother peeped out. When she saw it was me, she screamed and swung the door open.
“Willow! Oh, my God!”
She grabbed me and pulled me into her chest, rocking me from side to side.
“Hi, Mama. I missed you,”
“I’ve missed you too, baby.”
She pulled back and cupped my face, smothering my cheeks with kisses. I giggled, feeling like a kid as I accepted her love. My father came around the corner and his eyes widened when he saw me.
“Baby girl!”
He rushed over. My mother reluctantly released me so I could go to him. He scooped me up in his arms and I melted in the warmth of his embrace.
“Hi, Daddy. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too, princess. This is the best surprise.”
“Hey, family!” Shirah sang, coming through the front door.
My mother swatted her arm. “You knew she was coming, and you didn’t say anything?”
“Auntie, that would have ruined the surprise. I delivered her safe and sound. You’re welcome.”
My mother swatted at her again before pulling her into a hug.
“What are you doing here, baby?” my father asked.
“Well, I came for our class reunion, but also for a vacation. I needed a break and home is always good to me. Plus, I was way overdue for a visit with my two favorite people.”
Shirah cleared her throat, making me laugh.
“I’m sorry. Three favorite people.”
“Much better,” she said, smirking.
“Is something going on?” my mother asked.
I sighed. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen, and I’ll explain everything.”
“Okay. You’re in luck. I just finished cooking a late lunch.”
My mouth watered at the sound of that. If I had to break the news about Ellis, at least I’d have my mama’s food to alleviate the nasty taste the news would leave in my mouth.