Chapter 7
EARLIER
“F riend, you look the fuck good tonight,” Shirah complemented me. “You see how many heads you’re turning?”
I blushed. I did feel like I looked particularly good tonight. The reunion was in full effect. We’d been here for about an hour now, and Shirah had me in everybody’s face, showing me off. In her defense, most people remembered me anyway.
“Thanks, Shi. You look the fuck good as well, boo.”
She twirled around and twerked her ass on me. “I know I do, baby. One thing you can never put in a sentence is Shirah and looking bad. You know I like to be fine fine all the time.”
I giggled. My bestie had a bit of a big head, but she had every right to because she was beautiful inside and out.
“What is everybody staring at?” Shirah asked, looking behind me.
I followed her gaze to the door where I saw Benjamin walking in. Even though his look was a simple white tee, a pair of black jeans, leather jacket, and a Cuban diamond necklace, he still looked fine as hell. I blew a small breath as I took him in. Time had really been good to that man.
“Why are you making eyes at Benny?” Shy asked, breaking my thoughts.
I scoffed. “What! I was not!”
“Yeah, see. Your voice does that high pitch thing when you lie. You did it just now. Oh my God! Are you attracted to Benjamin?”
“Shirah, you’re tripping. Is he fine? Yes. Do I think that there could be anything there? No.”
“I swear, a lie don’t care who tells it. You’re single… ish. It’s perfectly fine to be attracted to him. Hell, we can tag team him and Jordan’s rich, fine ass.”
“That’s Jordan Smith?” I asked, stretching my neck to see over the sea of people gazing at them as they walked to the bar.
“In the flesh. Just that quick, I miss hunching on that man.”
“You two were a thing back in the day. How could I forget that?”
“We were. Back before I lost my mind and decided to give Ian another chance to play in my damn face. That nigga better not show up here tonight. I swear I will go to jail.”
I shook my head. “No, you won’t. You aren’t gonna give him the time of day because he’s a non-muthafuckin-factor.”
“Say that shit again.”
I turned my head and my eyes caught a glimpse of someone familiar.
“Isn’t that Tierra Cox?” I asked, pointing across the room.
Shirah followed my gaze and nodded. “Yeah. Just… don’t make eye contact with her.”
I laughed. “Why not? She can’t possibly still hate my guts ten years later.”
I never had any real beef with Tierra, but she apparently had beef with me, meaning she was beefing alone. She’s always been jealous of how well I got along with most everybody. Back then, I was a social butterfly and carried myself with a grace she didn’t have. She thought I thought I was better than everybody. That was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Tierra is different now,” Shirah explained. “I mean, she changed for the better after high school, but she’s really different now. Not a good different. Just leave it at that.”
My brows furrowed. What was the big deal about Tierra?
She peered around me once more and rolled her eyes. “Mr. Popular is being Mr. Popular. Bitches be so thirsty?—”
I shot her a look. “Just bitches?”
She pointed a finger at me. “Don’t do that. I’m not thirsty for that man. I’ve had him and I could have him again if I want.” She huffed. “I’m going to dance. You coming or are you gonna watch Benjamin all night?”
“Fuck you.”
She cackled as she walked off to the dance floor. I shook my head as I downed another sip of my drink. I looked between the nearly empty cup and the bar, trying to decide if I wanted to go over. There was an empty spot right next to Benjamin. Swallowing my nerves, I put on my best poker face and made my way over to him. I stopped behind him and tapped his shoulder.
“I see you knew what was best for you,” I jested.
He took another drink before turning to face me. I didn’t miss his eyes perusing my frame. A small smirk found its way to my face as his eyes finally met mine.
“And what was that?” he asked.
“That you be here. Shirah and I even rode by the shop. I was going to make good on dragging you out of there if I had to.”
He laughed and waved me off.
“Where is your girl, anyway?” he asked.
I nodded to the dance floor. There was my girl, being the life of the party, doing the chicken head in the middle of the floor. I laughed to myself as I shook my head.
“You gone leave your girl out there by herself?” Benjamin asked.
“She will be alright. Does it look like she needs any help?”
We looked back in her direction and noticed a few of our other classmates had joined her on the dance floor with her, being just as ratchet. If there was one thing my girl knew how to do, it was start and keep a party going. I knew I was going to hear about how bad her knees were hurting tomorrow because she wasn’t as young as she used to be.
I looked back at Benjamin. “Look at you trying so hard to get rid of me. Are you trying to tell me you aren’t enjoying my company?”
He finished his drink, then tossed it into the closest trash bin before returning his focus back to me. A few of my curls had dropped in front of my face and when he reached out to move them behind my ear, my breathing hitched. It was a simple gesture, but still somewhat… intimate. Our eyes locked for a moment and he ran his tongue against his lower lip before stepping back.
“Nah, never that. You cool, I’m just trying not to bore you.”
“If I was bored, trust me, I wouldn’t have come seeking you out to be around you.”
“Touché.”
Jordan walked over before we could say more. He spoke to me briefly before Shirah came over, complaining about her knees like I knew she would. Her eyes met Jordan’s as he licked his lips and smiled. My girl smirked, knowing she’d grabbed his attention. The way those two were looking at each other, I knew by the end of the night, I was going to be a third wheel.
All was going well until a commotion that started across the room made its way over to us in the form of that damn Tierra Cox. My gaze drifted to Benjamin who seemed like she was the last person he wanted to see. I found out why when she greeted him with that “Hey, baby daddy,” line. Baby daddy? He has a kid? And with her of all people?
Tierra was getting loud and being ignorant. When she made Benjamin spill a drink on himself, I thought he was going to lose it. He’d calmly told her to go outside and when she refused, he raised his voice, causing me to jump. The Benjamin I knew never yelled. He was always calm, cool, and collected. I wasn’t sure if they were still a thing, but whatever they had going on was toxic as hell.
Tierra finally left and Benjamin wasn’t too far behind. He looked embarrassed as he apologized to me before leaving the gym. I turned to Jordan and Shirah.
“They have a baby?” I asked.
Jordan nodded. “Yeah… not my boy’s proudest moment. Not baby girl, but Tierra.”
“Are they together?”
“Hell no. It’s not my place to speak on their shit, just know he’s single and if he wasn’t, Tierra would be the last person he’d run back to.” He tried to lighten the mood. “How about a dance? Your knees good to go, Shirah?”
“For you? I’ll make something shake.”
Jordan grinned. “I hope so. You coming, Willow?” he asked. “It’s always been a dream of mine to be sandwiched between you two.”
Shirah smacked his arm, causing him to laugh. “Don’t play with me or my girl like that.”
“I’m joking! Stop abusing me.”
She bucked at him before turning to me. “You coming, boo?”
“Nah. You two go ahead. I’m gonna grab another drink.”
They shrugged and headed back to the dance floor. I went back to the bar and ordered something a little stronger. Taking a seat, I made sure to face the door in case Benjamin came back in. Concern for him flooded my core. I wasn’t even sure if he would come back, so I guess this was going to be a waiting game.
When he didn’t come back after a while, I began to worry. As hype as Tierra was, anything could have transpired in the parking lot. Deciding to check on him, I stood from my seat and made my way outside to look for him. It took about five minutes to locate him, and I was only able to because he was sitting in a truck under a lamp post. He seemed a little out of it because even as I approached the truck, he didn’t move. Raising my hand, I gently tapped the window.
His gaze slowly drifted over to me, and he rolled the window down. I offered a soft smile.
“I know tonight has been long for you, but do you mind giving me a ride home? I
Benjamin clicked the locks. “Get in.”
* * *
CURRENTLY
The car ride with Benjamin was pretty silent for a little while. When I approached his window, I could tell he had been crying and I felt bad. I wasn’t sure what transpired between him and Tierra outside, but I knew it couldn’t have been good. Peering over at him, I sensed that he was in deep thought.
“Benjamin?” I said softly.
He didn’t look at me, but he did respond. “Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’m here if you want to talk.”
Finally, he looked over at me. “I appreciate that, Willow. You hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“I don’t really feel like being around too many people right now, so we could grab something and go back to my place.”
“Your place?”
“Why not? You already bore witness to my business tonight. You might as well come up.”
I simply nodded. “Well, okay. It is still early and my date left me for yours.”
A small smile played on his face as he chuckled. “You play too much, man. What do you wanna eat?”
“That chili dog you had from Scottie’s looked pretty good. And I could go for another slushie from the bar.”
“A’ight.”
He made a left turn and took us to the lot where the food truck was located. It was almost time for her to close and we got there just in time. Of course, Scotlynn fussed at Benjamin for abusing his privilege as one of her favorite customers, but did so with a smile. While she fixed our food, I ordered my slushie and sipped it while we waited.
Benjamin stepped off to the side to make a phone call. From the gentleness of his voice, I could tell that he was talking to his daughter. He smiled a little, and I heard him say I love you too, princess. There was something so sexy about a man being a good father. My daddy was my hero, so if he was anything like Willard Dawson, I know his daughter was loved.
He came back over just as Scotlynn called for our order.
“Don’t try that shit again, Benjamin,” she said, handing him the bag.
“Remember that the next time you and Danica want drunk tattoos when I’m closing up shop.”
She laughed. “Let’s not be hasty. Y’all have a good night. I put a little something extra in there for you.”
“‘Preciate it.”
We said our goodbyes before hopping in the car to head to his place. I was confused when he pulled around the back of the tattoo parlor.
“I have an apartment upstairs,” he said, noticing my furrowed brows.
“Well, that’s convenient.”
“It is. Come on.”
We climbed out of the car and I followed him through the back door and up a set of stairs. When he opened the door, my eyes widened at just how beautiful the place was. It had this industrial feel with lots of brick walls and exposed piping and big open windows that let in tons of natural lighting.
The living room was warm and inviting, with shades of brown and black. Separating the living and dining spaces was a floor to ceiling metal structure that was decorated with framed drawings I assumed from his daughter. Off to the side was a nice sized kitchen outfitted with a large island with seating, natural wood counters and beautiful open shelving.
Evidence of a child being present was all throughout the space. Everything from toys, to shoes, to a Raya and the Last Dragon placemat at the island. I wanted to look around his space for pictures of his little girl, but I thought better of it. I smiled as I took a seat at the bar.
“You know, even at my big age, I still love a good Disney movie,” I said, tapping the placemat.
“I love it until I’m hearing it in my sleep. She loves that damn movie.”
“How old is your daughter?”
“Five,” he answered, sliding on a stool next to me.
“What’s her name?”
“Charlie, short for Charlotte.”
“I love that. I didn’t want to just roam around your space, but can I see a picture of her?”
He pulled out his phone and pressed the side button before turning it to me. I smiled at the most adorable picture of a beautiful little girl grinning big, with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her cheek plastered to his.
“She is precious! Look at all that hair!”
He beamed with pride as he dispersed our food. “That’s my baby. My heart in human form.”
“I just know you have her spoiled.”
“I might overdo it just a little bit.”
I waved him off. “If you are anything like my father, you overdo it a lot . That man loves me down. Makes me wonder how the hell—” I stopped. “Nope. I’m not gonna get on my soapbox right now. This isn’t about me.”
Benjamin shook his head as he dug into his chili dog. We ate in silence for a little bit. I took the time to formulate the question I wanted to ask in the most respectful manner. I was curious how he ended up with Tierra, of all people.
“Just ask the question, Willow. I can see you over there about to burst a blood vessel from thinking so damn hard about it.”
I took a long sip of my slushie before turning to him. “Tierra… how did that happen? If you don’t mind telling me.”
“I mean, you’ve seen the bad so I guess I can tell you. Long story short, we linked up at Duke’s grand opening. One thing led to another, and Charlie was born.”
“So y’all were never a couple?”
“Nah. We almost weren’t parents. She wanted to get an abortion and I wasn’t with that. Charlie’s been with me since she was a couple weeks old. Tierra pops in when she wants to, but it’s been bad for the last couple of years.”
“Why?”
He was quiet for a moment as he took a sip of his drink. I could tell talking about it was stirring up emotions he was trying to keep at bay.
I grabbed his hand. “We don’t have to talk about it,” I said softly. “I know I’m being nosy.”
“Tierra is a functioning addict… at least, she was. It started with alcohol after she gave birth. I think she had postpartum or something. Now, I think it’s some other shit just by the way she acts. I have to beg her to even see Charlie anymore.”
I was quiet as I carefully considered the information he provided. This was a touchy subject, and I didn’t want to offend him. I wasn’t a mother, so my responses were limited, but I had to be frank with him.
“Can I be honest with you, Benjamin?” I asked quietly as I pulled my hand away. “Now, you might ask me to leave or put me out after I say this. This is just me looking in from the outside.”
He sighed. “Go on.”
“I understand being upset with Tierra about your daughter. I get that. But… and this is just my opinion… why beg her to be a mother to a child she stated she didn’t want? If I were a Charlie, it would hurt me more to have her pop in and out of my life than it would to never have her around at all. You can’t miss what you never had.”
For the longest time, he was quiet. This seemed to be his thing. I wasn’t trying to be harsh, but that was something he had to consider. After a good minute, he finally spoke.
“First, I wouldn’t put you out for no shit like that. You kept it real with me and I respect that. In the sense of keeping it real, I’ve told myself that a million times. My parents have told me that. Hell, Jordan and Duke have told me that, too. I get it. But, my head and my heart ain’t on one accord with that shit because my baby deserves a mother, a good mother.
“She’s a special little girl and my heart won’t accept the fact that her mother… the woman that carried, nurtured, and gave birth to her, doesn’t want her. That shit will never sit right with me. I’ve offered to pay her to spend time with our child. I’ve offered to take her to rehab and pay for that shit. I’ve—” He paused and took a deep breath. “I’m trying to fix this shit for Charlie and I feel like I’m failing her. I can’t do that.”
He said all of this without looking at me. He was vulnerable, and I could tell he wasn’t used to that. Reaching out, I cupped his chin and turned his head to face me. When his eyes met mine, they were a tad bit glossy.
“You aren’t failing her,” I said, gently. “I know that because I hear how much you love her in the way you speak about her. I know you’ve given her the best version of yourself from that alone. As a girl who loves her daddy with her soul, I can promise you that you are enough for her, Benjamin. You just keep being her superhero… her own personal fire-breathing dragon. Kids recognize the people that are there for them. That’s what truly matters. I haven’t even met her and I know you’re doing a great job. Just hang in there.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond before I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. When he didn’t pull away, I knew he needed it. He rested his head against mine for a moment and inhaled deeply. I held the embrace about thirty seconds before I broke it and attempted to lighten the mood.
“Now,” I said, reclaiming my seat. “Since our friends ditched me and I had to leave the reunion early, you have to be my entertainment. Entertain me.”
He smirked as he picked up his chili dog. “The only entertainment I have for you is Raya and the Last Dragon .”
“I’m cool with that.”
He eyed me. “You’re serious.”
I stood and grabbed my food. “Yep. Come on over here and put it on.”
I heard a low chuckle from him as I sauntered into the living room.
“This damn girl.”