Chapter 16
I groaned as I pulled the covers up over my head.
The sun was shining bright as hell like the rain hadn’t soaked me just yesterday. I thought I might get a few extra minutes of sleep until my phone started ringing.
Another groan.
Sticking my hand from beneath the covers, I felt around until I found it on the nightstand. Pulling it back, I saw that it was Shirah. I was sure she was calling to get the details of my date. Speaking of date… damn, what an ending. My body was a little sore, but I would take that with the type of dick Benjamin delivered.
Swiping the screen, I answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Bitch… why does your location say Benny’s?”
“Um… cause I spent the night.”
“I take it the date went well?”
I giggled. “Very well.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Oooo, bitch! You nasty heifer! You gave him some, didn’t you!”
“Well, damn, Shirah. Tell the whole world, why don’t you?”
She squealed, and I could almost picture her rolling around her bed, kicking her feet in excitement.
“How was it?”
“Let’s just say I feel the aftermath everywhere.”
“I ain’t mad at that. Look at quiet ass Benny slingin’ grown man dick.”
I rolled my eyes and tossed the covers off of me. “Shirah, please.”
She laughed. “So, tell me about the date.”
I stood from the bed and went to the bathroom to relieve my bladder.
“He picked me up on his motorcycle and we went on a picnic. Shy, it was so beautiful out there. We sat under this big, beautiful tree covered in flowers. He prepared our lunch, and the food was so good.”
“Okay, now! We love a man that can feed us.”
I cleaned myself and flushed the toilet, then stood to wash my hands.
“Right. Anyway, it was going so good. We ate, talked, and vibed to music. I swear it was everything. Then… it started raining. I mean, the bottom fell out of the sky, and we got soaked. You should see my hair.”
I propped the phone up on the counter before initiating a FaceTime call. When she answered, she screamed.
“Bitch, why are your titties out!”
“Girl, you’ve seen me naked on several occasions. Don’t act brand new. Look at my hair, Shy!”
I fluffed the mass of natural curls. The rain had done its job of starting the reversal and the shower finished me off. As I stared at myself, a smile spread across my face.
“You don’t look too upset,” Shirah said.
“Honestly… I’m not. This is the first time in a very long time that I look and feel like myself. I haven’t seen my curls in so long, Shy. You know how much I loved them once upon a time. I can’t believe I let that old bitch make me hate the hair I was blessed with.”
“She was probably mad because she had to wear wigs to cover her two scoops of hair. Her husband had to grab scalp when he hit it from back. I bet he was slipping and sliding all over that shit.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Why are you like this?”
“Because no bitch can fuck with my bestie. We’ll tag team her, old and all.”
I shook my head. “I can’t with you.”
“Where is your boo while you’re standing here flashing me?”
“I think he’s in the kitchen. I smell something delicious and I’m starving.”
Shirah giggled. “Worked up an appetite, huh?”
“Girl! Let me get off of here. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. I love you, boo.”
“I love you, too.”
I disconnected the call and took a final look at myself. I was feeling so much like me that I snapped a picture of myself from the neck up and posted it to my Instagram with the caption, “Who said I ain’t a baddie?”
I barely closed out the app before the notifications started going off. As I tossed my phone on the bed, I noticed a shirt and a pair of boxers neatly folded on the other end. That’s when I realized our wet clothes were gone. Picking up the items, I slipped them on and headed out of the bedroom.
My nose carried me to the kitchen, where I found Benjamin plating food. He gave a light smile when he looked up and saw me.
“Good morning,” I said, rounding the island.
“Good morning.”
It felt so natural to float into his arms and tilt my head up for a kiss. His arm slid around my waist just before he grabbed a handful of my ass.
“I see my clothes fit,” he said.
“I might just keep them. You have some joggers to go with this? I can’t walk in my parents’ house wearing the same thing I left in.”
He chuckled. “You grown, right?”
“I am, but my parents don’t need to know I was out here getting my back blown out.”
He grinned. “Yeah, you took it like a champ, though. I swear, I thought you were gonna be a runner.”
I shot him a glare as I took a seat at the island. “Don’t get beside yourself, sir. I’ve never been a runner.”
He chuckled as he set a plate of eggs, bacon, grits, and biscuits in front of me, along with a glass of orange juice. Just as he joined me at the island, his phone rang with a FaceTime call. When he answered, a wild haired Charlie appeared on the screen.
“Good morning, Daddy!”
“Good morning, princess. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Did you have fun on your date? How is Ms. Willow?”
“I had a great time and why don’t you ask Ms. Willow yourself?”
He angled the phone so she could see me. I smiled and waved.
“Hey, best friend!”
“Hey!” She gasped. “Look at your hair! It’s so pretty. You have curls like me!”
That warmed my heart. It was confirmation that representation matters. If Charlie could love her curls, I should be free to love mine, too.
“Thank you, baby. I miss your face.”
“I miss you, too. When are we gonna play together again?”
“Whenever your daddy says it’s okay.”
“When is it okay, Daddy?” she immediately followed.
Benjamin chuckled. “We’ll set something up.”
We ended up talking to her the whole time we ate breakfast. She wanted to introduce me to her grandparents, but Benjamin told her he wanted to introduce me in person. We ended the call with her blowing both of us kisses. I swear, she warmed my heart. I wanted children of my own someday, and if they were anything like Charlie, I’d be a lucky mom.
After breakfast, Benjamin loaded the dishwasher, and we retreated to his room to shower. Well… we didn’t shower right away. As soon as the clothes came off, the heat between us amplified. The next thing I knew, he had me up against a wall, fucking the shit outta me.
We moved from the wall to the bed to standing in the middle of the floor going straight to pound town. By the time we made it to the shower, I was spent. Much to my surprise, Benny gave me the most amazing after care. Not only did he wash my body, but he washed my hair as well. I almost fell in love as he massaged the shampoo through my coils while kissing me slow and deep.
There was so much intimacy and passion laced in such a simple act. It was sweet and selfless, not to mention, it put me a little in my feelings. Little things like this were what I was missing in my relationship with Ellis. He thought throwing money at me was supposed to be meaningful, but it wasn’t.
Maybe I didn’t have as much money as him and his family, but there was nothing he could buy me that I couldn’t buy for myself. What I couldn’t buy in cash, I had A-1 credit and could finance it. It wasn’t that I was trying to compare the two of them, but there were clear differences between the two men.
Those differences mattered.
After showering and getting dressed, Benny and I left the loft and got in his car. I wasn’t ready to leave him just yet, but I knew he had to get Charlie and he was probably spending time with his parents since it was Sunday.
As we neared my house, I noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Maybe it was a relative or a friend of my mom or dad. I wasn’t sure. What I was sure of was the uneasy feeling brewing in the pit of my stomach as we pulled in next to the car.
My eyes widened when they landed on the last person I was expecting to see… Ellis.
“Son of a bitch,” I said in disbelief.
“What’s wrong?” Benny asked.
“It’s Ellis.”
“Your ex?”
“Yes. What the fuck is he doing here?”
I groaned and tossed my head back. It was a bitch to experience such a high with one man, only to have to next take it all the way down. He looked past me and into the car at Benny. A frown formed on his face as he opened the door and got out.
“Is this what we’re doing, Willow?” he asked.
He pulled at the door handle and Benjamin sprang from the car.
“Watch yourself,” he said, firmly. “Don’t touch my shit. She’ll get out when she’s ready.”
“Just who the hell are you?”
“Don’t worry about who I am. I ain’t your concern.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This is my fiancée?—”
It was my turn to jump out of the car. I swung the door open, hitting him in the process.
“I’m not your fiancée!” I yelled. “Ellis, why the fuck would you show up here uninvited and unwanted?”
“I came to fight for you, Willow. You told me you needed some time to think, but here you are showing up with this wanna be ass thug?—”
Benjamin laughed, but I knew he found nothing funny.
“Thug?”
“Thug. All those tattoos, pants hanging low. Do you even have a real job?”
“Ellis!” I shoved him. “You are way outta fucking line. Don’t talk to him like that.”
“So, you’re defending him?”
“I am because you are dead ass wrong and childish as fuck to resort to name calling. You don’t know this man.”
“Oh, but I bet you know him very well. Did you fuck him?”
Again, Benny laughed. “Yo, Willow. You better get this nigga because if I come around this car, I’ma fuck him up. I’d hate to disrespect your people’s place like that.”
“If you touch me, I promise you’ll be back in jail before sundown.”
I slapped the shit out of him for that comment. He was taking shit entirely too far.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yelled.
By this time, my parents had come outside. My father made his way over to us with a frown on his face. They’d met Ellis several times, but he rarely came home with me when I came to visit. If anything, he mostly stayed away when they came to visit me, claiming he didn’t want to crowd us.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “Why are you at my house, Ellis?”
Ellis immediately pulled all that animosity back. “I need to talk to Willow.”
My mother shook her head. “I understand that, but you went about this the wrong way. Now you’ve shown up here and got your feelings hurt. I’m sure my daughter would have spoken to you when she was ready. Don’t come here causing a ruckus.”
Ellis was visibly frustrated, but I didn’t give a fuck about him right now. My eyes fell to Benny, who wore a permanent frown. I walked around to him, grabbing his hands.
“Look at me.”
His gaze was still on Ellis and I could tell he wanted nothing more than to strangle him with his bare hands.
“Look at me, Benny.” Slowly, his gaze met mine. “I got this. I’ll call you later, okay?”
He glanced back over at Ellis. “Yeah… a’ight.”
I wrapped my arms around him in a reassuring hug. He returned the gesture, but the sentiment wasn’t the same. Without another word, he climbed in his car, handed me my bag, and backed out of the driveway. I watched until he’d made it down the road before turning back to Ellis and my parents with my arms crossed.
“Mama. Daddy. Please give me a moment alone with Ellis. I’ll make sure he leaves.”
My mother nodded, but my father remained stone faced. He stepped toward Ellis, towering over him in his six feet four stature.
“Don’t make me come back out here with my gun, understood?”
Ellis swallowed nervously and nodded.
My father sized him up before grabbing my mother’s hand and going back into the house. For the longest time, I stood staring at the man I once loved with my whole heart. Now, he was looking like a stranger. I take that back. He was looking very familiar. The Marcia Thompson in him jumped out when it came to Benjamin and it completely turned me off.
“I have never been more disgusted with you than I am right now, Ellis,” I said, taking a step toward him.
“You know what, Willow. The feeling is mutual. I don’t know who you are right now, either.”
“I’m me! Me, Ellis. The smalltown girl with the kinky curls and the foul mouth. The girl who loves the simple things over elaborate gifts and having money thrown at her. The girl that’s happy working her “lazy” job because it puts money in the pockets of people who look like me. The girl who likes to get fucked, and I’m not talking about a five minute session where I don’t even get mine.”
“So, you did fuck him?”
I scoffed. “That’s all you got from that? That I fucked him?”
“Did you?”
“What does it matter! I’m not fucking you. I’m not with you and I’m not going to marry you. For far too long, I’ve allowed you, your family, and the people around you to suck the life out of me. I lost myself being with you, and I had to come back home to find me again.
“The way you just acted… the way you treated that man… Ellis, that was disgusting. You are every bit of your mother, and I will never be with you again. When I get back, I’m packing up every belonging of yours at my house, and I’m putting it on the porch for you to pick up. Whatever you have of mine, keep it. I don’t want it and I don’t need it. As a matter of fact, everything you gave me will be in that box, too. I don’t want anything tying me to you.”
“Willow, please… baby, I’m sorry!”
“You are sorry! You’re a sorry excuse for a human being! I’d never degrade someone you know the way you did Benjamin. He’s a good man and a good person, but you wouldn’t know that. You judged him off his appearance and preconceived notions, just like your mother did me.”
I shook my head as I paced back and forth. The more I got off my chest, the angrier it made me.
“You know… I thought time apart would have made you think about the reason I left you in the first place. I thought it would make you take a long, hard look at the shit you needed to change about yourself, not just for me, but to be a decent fucking human being. It didn’t. You came here and showed your natural, ignorant black ass.
“Congratulations. You lost me for good. You wasted your time and money coming here. Leave. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m done.”
I didn’t give him a chance to say anything or defend himself before I stormed away and into the house. The glares from my parents met me at the door. I tried to brush off my embarrassment and head upstairs but my mother called me.
“Willow Simone Dawson, get your ass back here.”
I paused, tossing my head back with a groan. Slowly, I backtracked to the living room where they were. She pointed at a chair, quietly telling me to sit my ass down, so I complied.
“I try to stay out of your business because you’re grown, but that…” she said, pointing at the door. “That is exactly what I was telling you. You can’t be out here opening new doors when you haven’t fully closed the old ones.”
“Mommy, I broke up with him before?—”
“Apparently, he didn’t get the message, Willow!”
She raised her voice, and it made me shrink into the chair like a child. My mother was soft-spoken, but when she had to raise her voice, I knew she meant business.
“You gave that man some sort of hope that there could be a resolution between you two. That’s why he brought his ass here. Maybe you meant that it was over, but you didn’t fully stand on that. That, my love, was your mistake. There is nothing wrong with you entertaining this Benjamin. He seems to make you happy. But baby, when you’re dealing with men, you have to be clear with your words and your intentions. Some of them, just like women, have fragile egos. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because you didn’t say exactly what you meant and stood ten toes down on it.”
“I know,” I said, swiping a tear from my eye. “I’m sorry for bringing my drama home.”
She nodded. “Just fix it. By the look on that young man’s face, you have more than one thing to fix. And when you fix it… invite him over for dinner. I’m not going for him coming to my house too many more times and not being introduced.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She turned to my father. “You have anything to add, Willard.”
“Nope. You said it all, dear.”
She sat back and crossed her legs. “You can go,” she said.
I sat there for a moment before standing, feeling like a child being dismissed after a good scolding. Slowly, I stood from my seat and made my way to the stairs. I fought back tears as I ascended them. The moment I made it on the other side of my door, I broke.
I needed to hear her words to put things into perspective.
So much could have gone wrong, and I was just thankful that Benny kept his composure as best as he could. I’d never forgive myself if he’d fought Ellis because Ellis was the type of person to call the police. Benny had a child… a child I cared for deeply. I couldn’t put him in a position to be taken from her for any reason.
I didn’t want him to be taken from me, either.
I had to get my shit in order.