Chapter 20
M y time here was beginning to wind down.
Over the last two weeks, I’d been thinking long and hard about what I was going to do when I go back home. My relationship with Ellis was over and there was nothing keeping me there. I was miles and miles away from the people I loved and cared about most.
Being back in Rose Haven for the last month and some change had given me part of myself back that I never wanted to lose again. I’d been away for years and finally, I was ready to come home. Just thinking about being back here full time made me smile. In fact, I was smiling so hard that I didn’t realize my mother called my name.
Next to me, Shirah smacked my arm. We were having dinner with her parents and mine, something we’d done often since we were kids.
“Girl, your mama is talking to you,” she said, pointing.
I blinked. “Ma’am?”
“You okay, baby?” she asked.
“Yes ma’am. I’m just thinking.”
“What’s got you thinking and smiling so hard?”
Shirah snorted. “Not what, who.”
I elbowed her, causing her to laugh. “Shut up.”
“Tell me I’m wrong.”
I felt the eyes of everyone around the table on me. I rolled my own eyes.
“I can’t just be happy, y’all?” I asked.
My father chuckled. “You can be. But we know a certain someone… make that two certain someones, have had you smiling from ear to ear.”
Auntie Lilith giggled. “I get it, niece. Benny is a fine young man. I’d be smiling like that too if he’s doing what I imagine?—”
“Auntie!” I exclaimed. “Uncle James, please get your wife.”
Uncle James shook his head. “Leave her alone, Lilith. You and your daughter have no filter.”
Shirah scoffed. “Daddy, please. You know who you married and who you birthed. Clock that. And Willow, girl, let’s not act like you and Benny aren’t practically in love.”
“Who said anything about being in love!” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t even thinking about Benny just now, thank you very much.”
She waved me off. “Only a man can have you smiling like that.”
“Oh, so is Jordan the reason you’ve smiled so much lately?”
Her eyes widened, and she jerked her head in my direction.
“Clock that ,” I said, tapping my thumb and pointer finger together. “Anyway! I was just thinking… I’m ready to move back home. And before you say a man had anything to do with that, he didn’t. I’ve missed being here. I’ve missed the peace I have, and I miss all of you. There’s nothing keeping me in Sterling Point anymore. I mean, I can run my business from anywhere and Ellis isn’t a part of my life anymore. Sure, I’ll miss the friends I made, but I’m ready to be back with the people I love.”
I smiled a little and laughed to myself.
“And… Benjamin and Charlie are a great added touch to being here. It’s just too soon to say it’s love. At least, when it comes to him. I do love Charlie. She’s such a sweet little girl.”
Aunt Lilith nodded. “Diana says that little girl talks about you all the time. She loves you too, baby. It’s a shame about her mama.”
Just thinking about Tierra made my blood boil. Every time I thought about her being in the wind after what she did, I got angry all over again. I fully understood that addiction was a disease, but it was out of control at this point.
Where was she?
Was she lurking around a corner, waiting to pounce at any time?
Was I now on her radar since she’d watched us at Benny’s old place?
I had so many questions and not enough answers about that woman. Since he told me she was on drugs, I wondered where her friends or parents were when she first started using. Even if she didn’t want to be a mother, she still had a life that was valuable. Somebody should have helped her.
“Well,” Shirah said, clasping her hands. “I’m all for you moving back. I miss my bestie. We have so much to get into. You know… when you aren’t with Benny and Charlie.”
“And when you aren’t with Jordan.”
She pointed at me. “You play too much.”
“I match energy.” I playfully mushed her head before turning to my parents. “Sooo… Mom. Dad. I know I have to go back to Sterling Point to get my affairs in order, but when I get back, you think I can stay here until I find a spot?”
My mother frowned. “Why are you even asking us that? This is your home, Willow. You never had to leave.”
I was happy to hear that.
This decision came right on time. My lease was up next month. While I’d been prepared to renew, now I didn’t have to. I’d already booked my flight back and was set to leave in a few days. Knowing that the next time I’d be back here was for good almost had me ready to leave tonight.
Dinner was over after another hour or so. My mother and Aunt Lilith settled in her reading room with a bottle of wine. Daddy and Uncle James headed out back to smoke cigars, and Shirah and I ended up in my bedroom. I’d done a huge load of laundry and needed to sort it and put it away.
Since I was coming home, I decided to leave everything here, so it was less I had to bring back.
“Sooo…” Shirah said, throwing herself across my bed.
“So, what?”
“You told Benny you’re moving back yet?”
I looked up from the socks I was pairing. “No. I don’t want him to think I’m moving back because of him. I’m gonna tell him, though. I mean, I haven’t even told him I’m leaving in a few days.”
“Better get on that.”
“I am.”
I pulled out my phone and sent Benjamin a quick text.
Me: Hey, are you busy later?
Benny: Not too busy for you, love.
Me: Can I see you?
Benny: Sure. You mind coming to me, though? Charlie had therapy today and she’s a little sad. I just wanna be close in case she needs me.
Me: Of course. Give her some love for me.
Benny: I will. If I tell her you’re coming, she’s gonna try her hardest to stay awake. You’ve stolen my baby’s heart.
I smiled as I typed a response.
Me: She’s stolen mine. I’ll see you later.
Benny: See you later, love.
“Just look at you,” Shirah said, shaking her head with a laugh. “Jordan and I called this. When you two get married and have your first baby, you have to name it after us. I’m thinking Jorah. No! Joriah. Yes, Joriah. That has a nice flow and perfectly mixes our names.”
I stared at her blankly. “Shirah, go to hell.”
She fell out laughing. “So, that’s not a good name for my future niece or nephew slash goddaughter or godson?”
“I’m not listening!” I sang, going into my closet for hangers.
“You aren’t responding, but you’re listening. I’d bet my left titty that this time next year, you and Ben will be head over heels in love and he’s gonna have you barefoot and pregnant.”
I sighed as I walked out of the closet. “Shirah, please stop invading my womb. If I’m pregnant this time next year, you will be, too, because you can’t stay off Jordan’s dick.”
Shirah’s shoulders shook with glee. “The dick is good, sis. You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? All the fondness must have gone straight to my pussy because she can sniff that man out. As soon as he touches down in the city, she starts acting up.”
“That’s exactly why you’re gonna be pregnant before me. I’m calling twins, that way Joriah and Jorah can be put to use.”
She threw a pillow at my head. “I’m not getting pregnant anytime soon, I can promise you that.” She reached out and touched my stomach. “You’d be totally adorable with a baby bump. I can see you waddling around. Benny is gonna do the most and Charlie is gonna be the best big sister?—”
I slapped her hand away. “I’m about to put you out.”
She laughed. “You don’t have to put me out. I’m about to go. Jordan and I have a movie date later.”
“He’s in town?”
She shook her head as she rolled off the bed. “No, it’s a virtual date. Well, not a date. We’re just watching a movie together. He said he’s had a long day and he just wants to wind down and relax.”
I crossed my arms and shook my head. She could say what she wanted, but if anybody was in love, it was her. It didn’t matter how she tried to play it off, I knew my friend and I knew when she was really feeling someone. Honestly, I wanted them to work out this time. She’d wasted so much time on her ex. Jordan was a good guy and if they became serious, I knew he would do right by her.
“You two have fun,” I said as she came to hug me.
“We will. Love you!”
“Love you back.”
She left the room, leaving me with this mountain of clothes. I guess I had something to pass the time until I left to see Benny.
* * *
When I pulled up to Benjamin’s parents’ house, he was already sitting outside on the front steps. As I put my dad’s truck in park, he stood and walked over to it. Pulling the door open, he extended his hand to help me out. Once on my feet, he pulled me into his arms and I instantly felt a warmth spread through my body. It was the same feeling I’d been getting for a while now. I was just so comfortable with him.
Pulling back slightly, I tilted my head up for a kiss. When his lips captured mine, I melted.
“I missed you,” he said, resting his forehead against mine.
“I missed you, too.”
He kissed me once more before pulling me around to the back of the truck. After putting the tailgate down, he lifted me to sit on it before making himself comfortable between my legs.
“How was your day?” I asked, cupping his face.
“It was okay for a while. Charlie was okay until I picked her up from school. We had to stop by the shop for a second and she just… she froze when we got out of the car. She just kept looking at the door leading to the apartment.”
He paused for a moment, sadness entering his eyes.
“I wish I could erase that shit for her, you know?”
I nodded. “I know, baby,” I said, caressing his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. “I pray for both of you every night. She’ll have good days and bad days, but she’ll get back to herself. You just keep doing what you’re doing and be there for her. That’s all you can do. Don’t keep beating yourself up about this, Benny.”
“That’s easier said than done.” He sighed heavily as he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s good to see you, though, love. You really give me peace, Willow.”
I smiled. “I know the feeling.”
“I guess I’m gonna have to book a flight to come see you when you go back home, huh?”
I pulled back so I could look at him. “Maybe not.”
His brows furrowed. “Whatchu’ mean?”
“I um… I decided I’m moving back to Rose Haven.”
“Word?”
“Yeah. I’m ready to be home. Everyone that matters is here and I’m tired of being away from them. Then, there’s you and Charlie. I’ve gotten so used to having you two around. My days would never be the same. I’m going back to Sterling Point in a few days. It’ll take me a little while to get packed up, but I’ll be back. My parents said I could stay with them until I find a place.
“Honestly, I think I need that. I could find a place before I leave, but I wanna stay home just a little longer. It’s funny because I couldn’t wait to be grown and out on my own. Now, I love the comfort of mommy and daddy’s house.”
Benny chuckled. “I get that. It’s a different type of peace.”
“It is. You know, we have to officially introduce each other to our parents at some point.”
“We do. If you still feel the same when you get back, maybe we can all have dinner or something.”
I frowned. “What do you mean, if I still feel the same? What? You think I’m gonna go back and forget about you? About Charlie.”
“Don’t get defensive, love. I’m just saying. We don’t really have a title… no commitment. Things could change.”
“But they won’t. I care about you, Benjamin. Charlie, too. Look, I know what happened with Ellis was messy and fucked up, but that is over. Done. I want…”
I paused for a moment, trying to choose my words carefully. My mother told me I had to be intentional and I was trying.
“You want what?” Benny asked, stepping back.
“I want to be with you,” I whispered. My eyes finally met his and I spoke louder. “I want to be with you, Benjamin. The time I’ve spent with you is the most I’ve felt like me in years. I’m sorry if that comes off as me using you to make myself feel good, but I promise, that’s not the case. You just… you see me.”
I slid off the bed of the truck and stepped closer to him, grabbing his hands.
“I love being with you and Charlie. The two of you make me happy and that’s all I want in this life is to be happy. I want to be happy with you.”
He stared at me for a moment, his eyes searching mine.
“I wanna be happy with you, too, Willow. That shit’s hard for me to say after everything I’ve gone through with Tierra. You gotta understand that I have a kid and she comes before any and everything. I have to protect her.”
I nodded. “You’ll never have to protect her from me. Even if you and I don’t work out, I’d always be around for Charlie. I love her, Benny.”
“You— you love her?”
“Yes.” I smiled and giggled. “How could I not love her? Charlotte Grace Davis is a ball of sunshine, a literal light. She reminds me of the little things that make me happy. How innocent love can be. Her smiles brighten my day and when she’s excited to see me? God, that just warms my heart in a way only a child can. She reminds me that there is still good and innocence in this world. More importantly,” I said, cupping his face. “She’s a part of you. I want to love, nurture, and care for every part of you, Benjamin Davis. So let me make something abundantly clear.”
I pulled his face close and pressed my lips to his. When I pulled back, I looked deep into his beautiful eyes.
“I want you and everything that comes with you.”
Our lips collided again as he lifted me and wrapped my legs around his waist. We kissed with hot, sensual, delicious passion. I was so turned on right now that I wouldn’t care if the neighbors saw this man bend me over and take me right here in the street.
“Get in the back seat,” I said, between kisses.
He didn’t hesitate to open the back door of the truck and put me inside, climbing in behind me. Again, our lips collided in a passionate kiss. Our fingers worked to undress each other, all while subtly copping feels. I was down to my bra and panties, and he wore nothing but his boxers.
“Don’t be out here screaming and shit,” he said with a smirk as he released himself.
“Shut up.”
He pulled me onto his lap, then pulled my panties to the side. Gripping my ass, he slid into my wet center with ease. A moan escaped my throat as he filled me with every inch of him.
I hissed. “Shit!”
We hadn’t had sex since the first time after our date and I needed him badly, even if it was in the back seat of my dad’s truck. Slowly, I lifted my hips to ride him, savoring the feeling of his length massaging my walls. His hands caressed my back as he stared into my eyes. I felt him unclasp my bra. Pulling the straps from my shoulders, he licked his lips before latching onto my nipple.
I moaned his name with such aching need. “Benny…”
I gripped the seat and tossed my head back, offering more of myself to him. His skilled hands roamed my body, his touch electrifying.
“Fuck, I missed this, Willow,” he declared, moving to the other nipple.
“Me too, baby,” I confessed, rolling my hips into him. “You feel so good.”
A hard slap to my ass caused me to bite my lip to keep from crying out. He smoothed the sting over before grabbing two handfuls of my cheeks and thrusting upward to meet me.
“Promise me you’re coming back,” he said, looking into my eyes. “Promise me that if I give you my heart, you won’t break that shit, Willow.”
I cupped his face, slowing my movements, but never ceasing.
“I promise,” I whispered. “If you want me, I’m yours.”
He kissed me roughly and passionately as he maneuvered me onto my back and buried himself back inside me. I clung to him as he delivered long, deep strokes to my middle.
“Ben—Benny! Fuck!”
Whimpers filled the car as he stroked me deeper still. I felt like he was trying to give me all of him and I would take it. As he rocked into me, I whispered my heart’s desires in his ear so that there was absolutely no confusion.
“I want you.”
“I need you.”
“I crave you.”
“I’m yours.”
As my walls suctioned around him, he let out the sexiest moan. I could feel him throbbing inside me. I threw my hips to catch his strokes and before I knew it, I was cumming hard, and so was he. His body gently collapsed against me. The weight of him was like a warm hug, grounding me back to reality.
Our eyes met, and we shared a long passionate kiss, our bodies still intertwined. There were no words needed in this moment. I was his and finally; he was mine.