2 A.M. — November 22, 1996 #12
Sienna stared at the cupboard, noticing a grease spot that Valerie must have missed. “Maybe. I mean, I guess if I really think about it, there might have been a few signs.”
“Like what?”
“Like… a couple of times when a woman answered the phone in his hotel room.”
Kylie’s eyes grew wide for a split second, but her face quickly transformed back to a neutral expression. “And when that happened, how did he explain it?”
“That it was housekeeping.”
“And you believed him.”
She nodded, feeling oh so stupid. “I had no reason not to.”
“Do you think it’s common for the housekeeping staff to answer hotel room phones?”
“If the guest is just getting out of the shower and asks them to answer so he won’t miss a call from his wife who is on the other side of the planet, yes, I do think it could happen.”
“And that’s what he told you?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, honey, come on.”
“You think he was lying?”
“Obviously. Chambermaids don’t even go in a room if a guest is there, and definitely not while they’re showering.”
Sienna closed her eyes. “Now I can’t remember why I asked you to come. You’re making me feel dumber than I already do.”
“Because you know I’ll actually help you instead of saying what you want to hear. The last thing I want is for my best friend to let herself stay in a marriage with a man who cheats on her every chance he gets.”
“And how do you know it’s an ongoing thing?”
“How do you not know?” Kylie asked. “What else? What other signs have you been willfully ignoring? Because we both know there were more.”
Sienna closed her eyes for a second, feeling a tension headache coming on.
“Sometimes the other guys in the band have trouble making eye-contact with me. The crew too. Which I find a little concerning. But no one has ever come out and said pointblank that he’s cheating.
Surely someone would’ve said something during all these years. I mean, these people are my friends.”
“They’re not your friends, Sienna. They’re here for the money.”
“Kitty would tell me.”
“Would she?”
“Yes.”
“That’s assuming Kitty knows.”
“Rusty would tell her. They’re one of those couples who tell each other everything.”
“Kitty’s not your friend.”
“Of course she is! We’ve been friends for almost twenty years. We practically raised our children together. She’s the one I call in the middle of the night when Zane’s gone and one of the kids has an earache.”
“Kitty is your friend as long as you’re attached to a member of the band.”
Sienna narrowed her eyes at Kylie. “That’s not true.”
“She was Angela’s friend right up until Zane dumped her. Then she immediately cozied up to you. And they were still married at the time.”
Sienna thought back to the first time she met Kitty. “Shit,” she muttered, wondering if Kylie might be right. “No, surely after two decades!”
Kylie shook her head. “Nope. Kitty’s not about to upset the apple cart. Not if it means the band breaks up and they lose their sweet, sweet income. Kitty’s in this for Kitty.”
Knowing she was right, Sienna’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh shit, I’ve been a total idiot my entire life.”
“You’re not an idiot, Sienna. You know it and I know it. So, if you did miss the signs, I’d say it’s more likely you did it on purpose.”
Sienna’s head snapped back. “Why on earth would I do that?”
“Zane’s an exciting guy. Rich. Powerful. A little wild. You’ve mentioned how incredible the sex is on more than one occasion, so maybe you don’t want to give that up. Or maybe you’re afraid of being alone.”
“Oh, come on, I’m alone most of the time anyway. Zane’s on the road half the year, and when they’re recording, he rarely makes it home other than for a few hours in the morning to sleep.”
“But you’re not really alone. Not like I am,” Kylie said gently. “You’re half of a glamorous couple, you’re someone to be envied. You’ve got the power and clout that comes with being married to a man like Zane. Maybe it feels like too much to give up.”
“Is it so awful to like those things? Do you know how many women would kill to have my life? I’m married to one of the most talented, most influential rock stars on the planet.
He’s written songs about me. People all over the world sing along to lyrics about my eyes.
Do you know how addictive that is?” Sienna asked.
“I can have anything I want whenever I want it. I don’t have to lift a finger.
I do, but I don’t have to. And I never have to think about how much anything costs because I can just buy it.
There’s no waiting. No budgeting. Not even any asking. I go get it.”
“Sounds like a dream life if not for all the infidelity.”
“You can’t erase twenty years of wonderful over one mistake.”
“A mistake or a choice?”
“It’s complicated. They were both grieving.”
Kylie stared at her for a moment before saying anything. “It seems to me like you want him back, Sienna, and that any price is worth paying for you to keep him.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t. You could be successful on your own, you know that, right?”
“At what?!”
“So many things. You’re a great cook. You’ve got a real eye for design,” she said, glancing around the kitchen. “And you’re beautiful and warm.” She snapped her fingers. “You’d be amazing on TV. One of those home decorating shows…”
“Blech, no thank you.”
“All right, how about designing for clients? Or you could come work with me. There are literally a thousand careers you’d absolutely kill at.”
“Thank you, but if I wanted a big, shiny career, I could’ve had one all along.
Zane would support that. This isn’t about money or becoming a career girl.
I’ll never want for anything even if I do divorce him.
And a career isn’t a replacement for a husband you’ve built a life with.
” Sienna took a deep breath. “This is about deciding whether or not to give my marriage another chance.”
“I’m simply trying to open your mind to all of life’s possibilities. This could be a fresh start for you. A chance to go in a completely different direction.”
“I don’t want to go in a new direction. I love my life,” she answered.
“We have a family together. We’ll forever be tied by that.
And frankly, any new direction would be terrifying.
I’d be all alone. He’ll get Kitty and the guys and all our other friends because they’re all part of the industry. I’d have no one.”
“Bullshit. You’ll have me. And you still have other friends out there. Other moms and the people in the charities you work with.”
Sienna closed her eyes. “It all sounds unbelievably lonely. And too hard.”
“It’ll be both for a while, but it could also be wonderful. Exciting. You could meet some new man who will treat you right.”
Shuddering, she said, “I don’t want a new man.”
“Fine, no man then. That’s probably the first good decision you’d be making. But I promise you, if you decide to end it, you won’t be alone. You’ll have support.”
Fresh tears slid down her cheeks. The thought of letting go—really letting go of Zane forever—sounded impossible.
Kylie reached out and put her hand on Sienna’s. “He doesn’t deserve you. He never has. And if you let him come back home, you’re doing it knowing that he’s going to do it again. Maybe not for a while, but he will.”
“He might not. The way he’s begging and pleading certainly makes it seem like he’s willing to change.”
Kylie gave her a hard stare before answering, and when she did, her words cut Sienna to the quick. “Did you ever wonder if he maybe begged Angela too?”