December 16th, 1996
ZANE
“That makes no sense,” Steven said, looking from Dean to Rusty to Zane. “Mike had a vasectomy.”
Rusty shook his head. “Yeah, there’s no way this could be Mike’s baby.”
Dean cleared his throat. “I guess sometimes vasectomies reverse themselves.”
Three weeks had gone by since the plan was set in motion, and they’d reached the point when the other members of The Vows had to be told about Elliott.
The legal team at Full Moon Records was about to be served with the papers to have Mike’s royalties given to Claudia.
The moment that happened, the rumors would start rolling.
So Dean had invited them to meet at his place to sign some paperwork. It was a chilly Monday evening, and he had a fire going in the ‘70s freestanding fireplace while the Miami Dolphins took on the Buffalo Bills on his wide-screen television.
Steven lit a cigarette, then took a long drag. “I can’t believe it. What are the chances?”
“Pretty slim,” Dean answered.
“Why would Claudia keep this from us?” Steven asked him.
“Who knows? I think she was in shock,” Dean said. “First she loses Mike, then she finds out she’s pregnant and she’ll be raising a baby on her own.”
Zane shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. “My God, she’s been through so much.”
“I can’t believe it,” Rusty said, his voice cracking. “Just think. If Mike had known he was going to be a father…”
He didn’t have to finish the sentence. They all knew what he was thinking. Steven’s shoulders dropped, and he curled his head down. “Aww, fuck, man.”
Zane’s body went numb. It was one thing to lie to protect his family and the band, but he hadn’t expected his friends to react this way.
The pain they were feeling was right there on the surface.
He and Dean exchanged a glance, then Dean turned his head to stare at the fireplace.
His anger toward Zane burned with the heat of the flames.
But there was nothing Zane could do now except carry on with the plan.
It was the only way forward. His guilt and the pain of losing Mike rose up to his chest. “It’s tragic, but there’s no sense in wondering what would have happened.
Mike’s gone and nothing is going to change that.
But at least a part of him exists, right? ”
Rusty’s eyes filled with tears. He wiped them away and cleared his throat. “He would’ve loved having a son, wouldn’t he?”
Steven nodded, scrunching up his face. “He really would have. He’d have stayed clean and given that kid everything. It would have changed his whole life.”
Rusty shook his head and wiped his eyes again. “He’s going to miss it all. Every second of what should’ve been the greatest thing in his life.”
Zane kept his eyes on his bottle of beer, tugging on the bottom corner of the label to avoid seeing his friends in such pain.
Letting out a sigh, Rusty said, “And poor Claud. I’m such an asshole. I never even bothered to check on her once since the funeral. Not one time, and here she was going through all of this alone.” He looked at Dean, his expression desperate. “Tell me her mom has been here for her at least?”
Dean shook his head. “Not really.”
“Not even when she had the baby?”
“No,” he answered, his voice quiet.
“Well, fuck me, that’s awful,” Rusty said. “What women go through to bring babies into this world is… unbelievable, and to have to do it alone… Did you guys go see her after the funeral?”
Steven shook his head. “I thought about it, but it just felt too… hard.”
Rusty nodded. “Same. Zane? You?”
He sniffed, then said, “Yeah, I went to her place a couple of times, but not since spring. She didn’t look pregnant or anything.
” Oh, he was a son of a bitch for that one, but all the best lies have some truth to them, and he was doing what had to be done for the sake of his family and the innocent men around the table.
Rusty’s eyes glistened. “You’re a much better man than me. I’ve been so caught up in my own head, I didn’t even think about her.”
A much better man than me. His words bounced around violently in Zane’s head, leaving bruises inside his skull. Bruises he deserved. Peeling more of the label, Zane said, “Nah. I’m not. If I were a better friend, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”
“Aww, dude, you can’t take that on,” Steven told him. “Mike’s troubles started back when we were kids. You got him out of that house. You and your parents. But the trouble followed him.”
Zane closed his eyes, wishing he could disappear. He needed to get away from his self-loathing. Away from the truth. But he couldn’t. He’d have to sit here and keep up the whole good guy facade, even though he had betrayed everyone at that table, on top of his wife, family, and his best friend.
The back of his neck was too hot, and he felt sick to his stomach. Suddenly he wished they had met at a pub. Being here in this room brought back a flood of memories that forced him to face his true nature. Or maybe it wasn’t who he had started out to be, but who he’d become.
FEbrUARY 24, 1982
ZANE
“So, it wasn’t your night.” Sienna interlaced her fingers in Zane’s and looked up at him. “They can’t all be. Not every single year, babe. But it doesn’t mean you’re not still the best of the best.”
“Thanks.” Zane turned to stare out the window of the limousine that was whisking them from the Shrine Auditorium to the palatial home of Larry and Greta White in Beverly Hills.
The Whites were hosting the Grammy after-party, and attendance was not optional.
As the president of Full Moon Records, Larry was the only person with more power than Zane.
Earlier, when Sienna and Zane had just finished walking the red carpet, smiling for photos and chatting with reporters about what a terrific night it would be, the Whites found them in the lobby.
Greta, a tiny woman with hair big and blond enough to rival Dolly Parton, gave them each a kiss on their cheeks, then told them she’d be crushed if they didn’t come by later.
Zane, who was about to decline, caught Larry’s eye and knew the correct answer was yes.
The band’s latest album, Absolute Certainty, had underperformed, which meant Zane had been avoiding Larry for months now. But of course, he would have to face him eventually. It might as well be tonight, when he already felt like a loser.
Sienna rubbed her thumb over the back of Zane’s hand. “They had to give best album to John, after what happened.” She was referring to John Lennon’s last album, Double Fantasy, which had won the night.
“We didn’t lose because he died. We weren’t even nominated,” he answered, hating how unbearably whiny he sounded.
Suddenly claustrophobic, he loosened his bow tie and flicked open the top button of his crisp white shirt.
“Sorry I’m being a brat. I’m just… disappointed.
You know how much work goes into each album, and this last one… sucked.”
“Zane, it’s an incredible album. For some stupid reason, it got overlooked, which is a crime because I see how you bleed for your music.”
“Yeah, well, so do a lot of artists.”
“Absolute Certainty is ahead of its time, and one day it’ll get the recognition it deserves.” Unraveling her fingers from his, Sienna slid her hand up his thigh. “I think I have an idea that’ll make you feel better.”
Zane, who, until this moment, was definitely not in the mood, smiled at his gorgeous wife. “Oh, yeah?”
She nodded at him, then glanced at the privacy screen.
It was up, which meant they were good to go.
Sex in the back of a limo. Fast and frantic.
That had been one of their ‘things’ before Ivy came along.
He gave her a hard kiss on the lips, then pulled her onto his lap, feeling the softness of her long mink coat against his hands.
She started to take it off, but he stopped her.
“Leave it on. It’ll hide us from the driver if he opens the screen.
” He kissed her again, then, while she tugged on his shiny black leather belt, he murmured, “Besides, it feels nice.”
She straddled his lap in her short dress made of some flimsy material that Zane couldn’t name but certainly liked to see on her.
Her diamond necklace glinted against her ivory skin, the sight of it turning him on.
He bought that for her. The fur too. Zane McCreight from Spokane, Washington.
Son of an appliance salesman. Rock god. It was his talent that put them in the back of that long, black car on their way to party with the world’s most famous people.
He was one of them now too. One of the lucky ones.
‘No’ was a word Zane rarely heard anymore, because people wanted to please him.
They ached to know him. And they would do almost anything to be part of his world.
Including his beautiful wife, who was now sliding her lacy panties out of the way so he could find his way inside her.
Which he did immediately. They kissed and grinned at each other—the sort of grin that asked ‘what if we get caught?,’ which was an even bigger turn-on for him than the diamonds.
And Sienna had been right. He already felt much, much better.
Unfortunately, the feeling wouldn’t last.
Woodwind Manor, the home of the Whites, was as pretentious as they come.
It was a recent build, but Greta wanted something timeless, so they went with a Greek revival-style with a gabled front and eight towering two-story white stone columns standing proudly like royal guards.
The mansion was hidden from the road by a tall stone fence that surrounded the three-acre property.
Only after the gates slid open and the car was halfway up the long, winding driveway, would you see the house itself, lit to resemble the Parthenon at night.
The party had started, guests spilling out onto the portico, drinks in hand. Zane sighed. “I’ll go find Larry, then let’s go home, okay?”
“For round two?”