October 1993 #3
“Sounds terrific.” Actually, it sounded awful. Claudia hadn’t been up that early since they’d left California. She’d have bags under her eyes while she was being dragged around from designer to designer by a model.
An awkward silence followed while Claudia imagined herself being ignored while all the designers fawned over Sienna.
After a few seconds, Zane cleared his throat. “Okay, well, we were going in search of a coffee, which I could definitely use right about now.”
Claudia gave him a bland smile. “I should go see if Mike’s up.” She turned her gaze to Sienna. “I’m so glad you’re here. Poor Zane has been missing you terribly, even though he pretends he’s fine.”
“I could feel it. That’s why I hopped on a plane.” She reached out and squeezed Claudia’s upper arm. “I know I’ve never said it, but it gives me so much comfort that you’re here to look after our boys.”
Sienna’s words reverberated through Claudia’s mind the entire way to her suite. It gives me so much comfort… Yeah, right. What a bunch of bullshit. Sienna was here to mark her territory, like a tall, freshly groomed poodle leaving a trail of urine around the yard. Back off. He’s mine.
This assumption was confirmed by Claudia later that night at the show.
Sienna and Zane made out backstage without a thought to the comfort of the crew.
And in the moments leading up to the show, Sienna called the band into a huddle.
“Come on, like we used to in the good old days,” she said, gesturing for everyone to join her and Zane.
When they were all there, she put a hand on Zane’s back, and one on Claudia’s, then leaned her head into the circle.
“Okay, it’s showtime. But remember, we’re more than a band, more than friends—we’re a family.
And families look out for each other, they protect each other, and they love each other.
We’ve all got each other’s backs for life. And that’s what makes us special.”
The men all smiled at Sienna as if she had been gifted to them by God himself. Rusty nodded. “Thanks, Sienna. This is exactly what we needed to get through the rest of the tour.”
She gave him a sweet smile. “That’s why I came.
Family can feel it when something is wrong.
All this silliness with that stupid article cannot come between us.
We know what we’ve got here. And we know what’s real and what isn’t.
Claudia is a wonderful addition to the band.
Mike needs her. We all need her. I don’t care what everyone’s saying about her. I trust her completely.”
Her words were tiny glass shards to Claudia’s insides.
She was saying what the men wanted to hear, but Claudia knew what she really meant.
She was making sure Claudia knew the world now thought of her as a wanna-be-homewrecker, but Sienna didn’t see her that way.
Because a woman like Sienna would never feel threatened by some normal human like Claudia.
Believing anything else would be madness.
Claudia had never felt smaller or less important in her entire life.
And now it was time to get out on stage and act like everything was fine.
At the start of the concert, Sienna made the walk up the aisle, holding her husband’s hand through a thrilled crowd of fans.
Zane added a solo acoustic version of ‘Faded Denim’ to the playlist, replacing ‘If I Didn’t Have Her,’ and he got Sienna to come out on stage and sit on a high stool while he serenaded her.
He introduced her as the most beautiful woman in the world, the love of his life, his one and only, his muse, and the one he’d die for.
It was just the two of them under one spotlight against an otherwise dark stage, with the rest of the band watching from the side.
When the song ended, they delighted the crowd with a huge kiss, then pressed their foreheads together and held hands while the audience cheered for their undying love.
Sienna cried happy tears. Zane wiped them off her cheeks.
Claudia watched, sipping from a lukewarm water bottle, imagining it was her forehead against Zane’s.
Those were her hands he was holding. And it was her body he’d be touching after the show.
A pain so pure and deep rippled through her, and she was worried she might cry too.
But she didn’t. Instead, she smiled at Mike. “Aww, isn’t that sweet?”
“So? Tell me how you’re really doing.” Sienna put her elbows on the small wooden table and leaned forward. “And don’t you dare say everything’s wonderful, because I’ve been on tour with these men before so I know better.”
The women had stopped for lunch at a little bistro.
Claudia’s feet were surrounded by bags, after having a successful start to their day of shopping.
She felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, only there was a much prettier woman calling the shots instead of a handsome billionaire.
It was a crash course in dressing for her body-type (and wasn’t she lucky to have curves where Sienna was straight like a stick?).
Cinched waistlines, bodysuits under jeans, expensive fabrics that skimmed her body just so.
There would still be a time and place for her grunge and boho looks, but if she wanted to turn heads, she needed to play to her strengths, hold her shoulders back, and let the geniuses of Milan do their work.
After lunch, they were heading to a salon so Claudia could get her hair done.
It was a place that normally took months to get into, but as soon as they knew Sienna was asking, the answer was yes.
So, overcome with gratitude, Claudia decided to tell Sienna the truth. After all, the woman had taken an entire day of a two-day trip to help her out. If that wasn’t true friendship, what was? “Honestly? I knew being on the road would be tough, but not… like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. At first it was exciting.”
“Sure,” Sienna answered, lifting her glass of white wine. “Lots of wild hotel sex, right?”
Claudia’s face felt hot, and she grinned.
“So much sex.” During the first two months, they’d borrowed adrenaline from the crowd to fuel themselves for post-show sex sessions that lasted for hours, taking them from the shower to the bathroom counter to the bed (with the occasional stop at a windowsill).
Claudia had felt wild and powerful and free for the first time in her life, and Mike responded favorably to her new night persona.
He’d been nice to her, holding in his criticisms and complaints.
“But over the past few weeks, we’ve kind of…
settled into an oddly mundane routine. And to be honest, Mike’s so quiet when he wakes up that I actually feel like an intruder.
I either tuck myself into a corner of our room and read, or I go for long walks to give him time alone. ”
Giving her a sympathetic look, Sienna said, “Was it after Brazil?”
Claudia shook her head. “It was before that. Actually, I noticed a change when we were in Mexico.”
“Hmm, probably because of his dad.”
When they were in Mexico City, he’d gotten word that his father had died of a stroke.
When Mike got off the phone, he told Claudia about it as if he were passing along last night’s baseball scores.
She crossed the room to hug him, but he waved her off.
Don’t worry about it. It’s seriously no loss.
But Claudia could tell the news stirred up a whole host of emotions he couldn’t handle.
And instead of letting it sink in, he seemed determined to pretend it never happened.
Mike drank more and relied heavily on cocaine to keep him going, sometimes barely managing to hold himself up for the walk from the elevator to their room.
Claudia, not sure if she could completely trust Sienna, decided to downplay the impact of his father’s death. Mike was a private person, and she knew oversharing could come back to bite her. “Maybe. Or maybe he’s just getting bored of me.”
“Would he almost come to blows with his best friend over a woman he was bored of?”
Nodding, Claudia chewed her lip for a second before answering, “I suppose not.”
“He’s had it so rough,” Sienna answered, sitting back in her chair. “Has he told you about his family?”
“In bits and pieces. It’s not something he wants to think about.”
“I can see why. His father was a monster,” Sienna told her. “I think it’s why he never wanted to have a family.”
The waiter brought a basket of warm bread wrapped in a red checkered napkin. Neither woman touched it. Claudia had hoped the bread would provide a distraction, but Sienna stayed on topic. “Do you ever think about having a family?”
She shrugged. “Not really. Most of the time, I’m just thrilled to be doing what I’m doing, you know?”
That wasn’t exactly true. Lately, during the unbearably lonely afternoons, Claudia found herself longing for another life—one with a house full of children to cuddle and love.
Well, maybe not full of them. Two would be nice.
But then she’d remind herself she had someone to love and her dream career, and that should be enough.
Besides, once they hit the stage, Mike was back to being hers again.
Well, as much hers as a man like him could be.
Sienna took another sip of wine. “Well, I say enjoy every moment you can. It could all be over in a heartbeat.”
Claudia smiled, even though she wasn’t sure if Sienna was giving her life advice or a warning. She had a long sip of her drink, and glanced at the breadbasket, knowing she needed to choose between those warm crusty rolls and fitting into the clothes for which she’d just paid a fortune.
By the end of the day, Claudia had sore feet, a new wardrobe, a new sophisticated hairdo with long, straight bangs that touched the bottom of her now pencil-thin eyebrows (and trust me, darling, thick eyebrows will never be in style again!) She also had an empty bank account.
The pair walked through the lobby of the hotel, arms linked, laughing away like old friends.
Sienna had been wonderful the entire day.
No signs of her marking her territory or blaming her for what happened.
In fact, Claudia was certain she’d been totally wrong about her.
She was ashamed she could ever have thought poorly about such a kind and wonderful woman.
No wonder Zane loved her. She was like a beautiful fairy, too good for this cruel world, but sent here to bless the lucky few who got to spend time in her presence.
They’d been followed around by paparazzi all day, and Sienna, although annoyed by them, was ever gracious, stopping to pose for photos while she insisted they include Claudia too.
And as they rode the elevator up to the top floor, arms loaded, Claudia’s heart surge with gratitude.
“Sienna, I just want to thank you for everything today. You’ve been amazing to help me out like this. ”
“No need to thank me. I’ve had the best time with you. I can see why Zane thinks so highly of you.”
“You do?” she asked.
Nodding, Sienna said, “Yes, of course. He says you’re the little sister he never had, and I have to say I feel exactly the same way.”
The elevator doors opened, and Sienna stepped off, leaving Claudia to stand frozen for a moment while the word ‘sister’ thumped through her body like she’d swallowed a large rock.
Sienna turned around and put her hand over the door to stop it from closing.
“Come on, silly. I can’t wait for Mike to see your new hair. He’s going to absolutely die.”
Claudia got moving, following Sienna down the hall. “Do you think he’ll like the bangs?”
“Of course. They really frame your face,” Sienna told her. “I wish I could get them too, but Zane hates bangs with a passion. He says they remind him of the girls on Little House on the Prairie.”
Claudia laughed, even though she could feel tears pricking the backs of her eyes.
Sienna turned to her, scrunching up her cheeks and placing a hand on Claudia’s arm. “Oh, God, I just realized how that sounds. You do not look like a pioneer woman! Believe me. You look hot… like Shannen Doherty.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so,” Sienna said, stopping at the door to her suite. “Now, you go show your man your new look. I need to go make up for lost time with my husband.”
And with that, the queen dismissed the peasant, having finished with her act of service for the year.
She had simultaneously ingratiated herself with Claudia in a way that was undeniable (after all, she had spent the entire day giving her a complete makeover, and how kind was that?
!) while at the same time making Claudia less attractive to the king.
There was nothing Claudia could do, no one she could tell who would understand what really happened.
She’d been played. Just like the rest of the band.