19. Caleb
NINETEEN
Caleb
I asked if I could call her later. I hadn’t been vague or ambiguous about it. I fucking knew exactly what I meant when I posed the question. Given our history and given everything Margot has been through I owed her that phone call. But I hadn’t made it. I couldn’t.
That girl had ripped out my heart seven summers ago.
Gabe poked his head in my room. “You’re done with shift for the day, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I answered. My patrol had been uneventful today, but the sun had been fierce. I felt drained. I’d taken a shower and all I wanted to do was sit under the AC wall unit and cool off. Maybe drink a beer.
“Are you going to the bonfire tonight?” he asked. “I’ve got to run up to Reel Time to get the beer. I always forget when it’s my turn. And the ice. Shit. I always forget ice.” He edged into my room.
It wasn’t large, but it was all I needed. A double bed. A dresser. A bathroom. A small kitchenette. My dad used to talk about his quarters on base like he had a giant house overlooking the Hollywood Hills.
“I’m pretty worn down from today. It was patrol non-stop. No breaks,” I explained. At least we hadn’t been called in for an emergency rescue. Although, I felt the itch under my skin. The restlessness started to take hold whenever things were calm for too long.
“I heard the kid’s mom came to see you.” Gabe took a full step inside my room and closed the door.
My eyebrows arched. “How did you hear about that?” I was suddenly uneasy that Gabe might have found out about the check too. It was in the top drawer of the dresser. I hadn’t cashed it. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it.
“A few of the guys saw her on base. Someone saw her go into Guthrie’s office. It got around who she was.”
Fuck.
“She wanted to say thank you for saving her kid. That’s all.” I paused. “Have you ever had that before? Someone come thank you after a rescue?”
Gabe shook his head. “No. But I got a letter once from a girl in high school. She had been swept out by a rip current. I pulled her in.” He blushed. “But I think that’s because she had a crush on me. Not really the same thing. I think it’s cool the mom came by.” He smirked. “And I heard she’s hot.”
I picked up one of my running shoes and threw it in his direction. “Not the point.” Gabe ducked as the shoe bounced off the wall over his head.
He laughed. “If she’s into you? You’re not going test that situation out?” He shrugged. I reached down for the second shoe, and he backed up. “It’s a joke, man. Take it easy.”
I shook my head. He didn’t know what I did about Carrie. He didn’t know about the money in my dresser.
“If anyone wanted to write us a thank you note it should have been the dad that nearly drowned both of us and tried to sacrifice his wife to the sharks.”
Gabe’s head rotated back and forth. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that motherfucker. I think he would have pushed the kids under if we hadn’t grabbed them first.”
I agreed. Parts of that night still bothered me. We hadn’t talked about it much since. I knew it was because of Lucas and the Sunfish rescue. Margot had come back into my orbit and I had gotten quiet on all the guys here.
“You’re good though, right? I mean with everything that’s happened. That May drowning?—”
“Stop, Gabe. I don’t want to talk about it.” I shot him a warning look. I’d managed to avoid the first loss of my career. It happened to every rescue swimmer, but we all hoped we would miraculously be spared. I wasn’t.
“Yeah, I know, but it wasn’t your fault and I’m not sure you’ve let it go.”
“I’ve let it go. Swear.” I hopped off the end of the bed. Why don’t I go with you to get the beer?” I stood.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I walked toward him and turned off the light. If I stayed here, I was going to think about the money. Think about calling Margot. I was going to drink way too much alone. I’d think about the rescue that had gone wrong and the ones that had come close. “I’ll even get the ice.” I slapped him on the back as we headed out. “Wait, hold on just a second.”
I took my phone out of my pocket and left it on the dresser. Just in case I thought about calling her tonight after a few drinks I wouldn’t be able to. A guilty drunk dial or text wasn’t going to fix what I knew I had broken. It was better for her this way.