28. Caleb
TWENTY-EIGHT
Caleb
I heard her soft footsteps across the floor. I didn’t move. I didn’t even breathe. I knew she was getting dressed. What I didn’t know was whether she would try to wake me before she left. As soon as the door closed in place, I had my answer. I sat upright.
I could have stopped her at any point, but let her go. I wondered if that was the right decision. She didn’t have a car. I imagined her traipsing all the way back alone. At least the rain had stopped. The storm had blown through.
I showered and dressed. I could stop by Reel Time to pick up breakfast and take it to her. I didn’t want her to think this was a one-time thing or that it didn’t matter. Bonfire hookups had that reputation for a reason. We still had a lot to talk about. I still didn’t have any answers from her. Breakfast could set that straight. I’d call ahead and make sure Nan made some of her biscuits. I had a feeling she would be extra busy today cooking for people who were doing yard and water cleanup.
I shoved my wallet in my back pocket, but not before I glanced at Carrie’s check on the dresser. It sat there, reminding me that I still had to deal with it and everything it implied. Someone knocked on the door and shoved it in the top drawer, tucking it away at the back quickly.
“Yeah?”
Gabe strolled in. “Good morning, sunshine.” He looked half-asleep and his hair was wet.
“What are you doing in here?”
He looked around, checked under the bed, and in the bathroom, making a spectacle of his hide-and-seek game. “She’s already gone? Must have had a bad night. No reason to stick around for round two?”
“I’m not talking about Margot,” I grumbled.
“Margot? Hmm. Why not? You know about my girl.”
“It’s not the same thing and you know it.” I stuffed some gum and sunscreen in my boat bag. “Your girl is a summer girl. She’s not sticking around.”
He sighed. “Okay. She is. But maybe Margot isn’t? I saw you two together at the bonfire last night. It looked serious.”
“Like I said, I’m not talking about her.”
He shrugged. “Okay. Well, we should talk about the patrols today.”
“I’m off.” I knew what was coming though.
“We have to scan for damage. You know the drill. Check for stranded boaters. See if there are any changes in the channel. Last year we had to move all the channel markers after that nor’easter blew through here. Took days. You want one of the boats going out now or a later shift?”
“Later,” I answered. I wanted to make the breakfast plan happen for Margot. If I started patrolling the island now there was no telling how late I would be.
“Okay. I’ll let the captain know. I’m going now. I guess I’ll see you around.” He hesitated in the doorway.
“Yeah. You’ll see me around.”
“You sure you’re okay, man?”
I nodded at my friend. “I’m good.”
Once he was gone, I grabbed my keys. Not even the remnants of a tropical storm were going to get in the way of what I needed to do this morning.
T here was no standing water on the island roads. That was a good sign. At least I didn’t have to worry that Margot waded through water on her way home. I looked down when my phone started to buzz. I had no choice. I had to answer.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Caleb. Are you okay? Any damage on that side?”
“No. It looks good from where I am, but my patrol shift is later this afternoon,” I explained. “I can tell you more later.”
I was already at Reel Time for the biscuits. I pulled into an open space. Nan assured me she made extra batches today and she would save some for me in case she came close to running out.
“Well, your dad said he’s going to take a boat out and see if anyone needs help.”
I inhaled. “Right. Well, tell Dad there are plenty of crews doing that. He doesn’t need to be out on the water right now.”
“I can’t tell him anything, especially on a day like today.” I heard the irritation in her voice. I imagined they had already argued this morning about whether he would take his own boat to search for damage.
“You want me to talk to him?” I volunteered.
“No. He already left for the marina.”
There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be able to convince him to do anything differently.
“Everyone else okay?” It was rhetorical. If they hadn’t been, it would have been the first thing she would have told me. “How is the bookshop?”
“The bookshop is fine. I went by this morning. I think Janice had a little flooding in the yard. And you know the whole east side of the island lost power for a few hours.”
I didn’t tell her I hadn’t heard about the power outages. I had been preoccupied and the last thing I worried about during the night was the electricity. I had one and only one focus.
“Mom, I’ve got to go. I’ll check back later. Glad you’re all right and the store didn’t have any damage. Good luck with Dad.”
“Okay. Be careful today, Caleb.”
“Always am.” It’s what I told her whenever she began to worry. She had been through it as a wife and a mother of two Coastguardsmen. Her voice was strong and clear. She knew what was expected of me.
“I know. I know. I’m still going to say it. Bye, hon.” She hung up and I headed inside the store to get biscuits for Margot.
I wasn’t the only one on the island craving Nan’s homemade biscuits. There was a line all the way to the back of the bait and tackle aisle. By the time I placed my order for the hot biscuits, I was hungrier than I could remember being.
I grabbed the bag and took off. I drove as if the biscuits would cool off with every second it took to deliver them to Margot. And cold biscuits weren’t a gift. They were a punishment I didn’t want to bestow upon her. The whole point was to do something nice for her.
I didn’t know what I expected to find when I showed up at the Blue Heron cottage, but it wasn’t a dark house, closed and shut as if it was still empty.
I knocked. I waited another minute before I knocked a second time. “Margot? I’ve got breakfast for you. Hey, Margot?” I rapped harder on the door.
I peered in through the tiny square of glass. Was she home? Had she gone for a walk? Her car was parked out front. I left the biscuits on one of the wooden tables and walked around to the side of the cottage. Keeping them hot wasn’t a top priority anymore.
When I rounded the corner I stopped. My knees locked.
“Margot?”
She was on her knees in the yard. She looked up at me. “They’re completely ruined.”
I walked and knelt next to her in the wet grass. I picked up a book that was waterlogged. I flipped it over in my hand. Water ran along my palm. The pages had acted as a sponge in the rain. I saw the cover.
“These are yours?” I was astounded. It was her name on the front of the book. “You wrote this book?”
She nodded. “I did.” There were pieces of the pages dotting her fingertips. The books must have dissolved when she picked them up.
“What happened? Why are these in the yard?” I asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She stood to leave, wiping the bits of paper on her shorts.
“Don’t go.” I pressed her shoulder, urging her to stay. “There’s obviously something about this you don’t like. You don’t want to tell me. You didn’t want me to see them in your room. They’re in your yard? What’s the deal with destroying your book?”
“You remember seeing them before?”
I nodded. “I remember even though I was distracted. I remember you didn’t want to talk about them then either.” I didn’t want to push her too hard. “You can tell me, whatever it is about the book.”
“I forgot they were out here, you know? I was walking around the cottage to see if I had any storm damage. And…well…I found them like this. Ruined. They aren’t even legible. The ink ran through all the pages.” She sniffed. “All of them.”
I squeezed her shoulder and let my hand run along her neck. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who did it. There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. It was the day of the accident.” Her eyes rose to meet mine. “I was throwing them out when I saw his boat overturn. I was freaking out? Panicking? Raging against all this stupid shit? Then I stopped when I saw that sailboat.”
“Seems like they saved Lucas’s life.”
“I guess so.”
“Want me to help you clean this up? I can carry them over to the dumpster.” I began to collect the soggy pile into one heap to make them easier to maneuver.
“I’ll do it, Caleb.” There was more force behind her words than I expected.
I lowered the books back to the mangled boxes in the grass. “Only an offer.” I stepped away so she could throw them out herself. I watched as she struggled to wrestle them in a stack. They were squishy and slippery.
“Margot?”
“I’ve got it.” She tossed the first batch into the marina dumpster. She marched back and forth until all the books were gone along with the cardboard.
Damn, she was stubborn.
She began to walk toward the screen porch. I followed her. “You aren’t going to tell me why you threw the books in the yard?”
She spun on her heels. There was fire in her eyes mixed with undeniable sadness and pain. “Because that book was a complete failure. It was supposed to launch my career and instead it tanked it. Okay? I lost my agent. My contract. I lost my royalties. I rolled into this fucking marina with nothing but this.” Her hands motioned around the marina. “This is all I have. And it’s a money pit. But I’m sure you know and everyone on the island knows it. I can’t pay the taxes. I can’t afford to keep it.”
“Whoa. Whoa.” I took a deep breath for her. “Can we go inside? Can you talk me through this with you? Maybe I can help you figure it out.”
She closed her eyes. Her hands were trembling. “I don’t know.”
“You’re shaking. Let’s go inside. I brought breakfast. Come on.” I rested my hand against her hip and guided her through the porch, lifting the bag of biscuits, and leading her in the house.
My eyes landed on the same exact biscuit bag on the counter.
“Oh. You already stopped at Reel Time on the way home?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. Dean dropped them off.”
“Waters, again?” I mumbled.
“Please don’t say anything about him. I already had to cut him off about you. I don’t know why the bad blood between you is still a thing. I don’t think I have the energy for it.”
I clamped my lips together. I warmed the biscuits in the oven and started a fresh pot of coffee. I wasn’t going to be jealous of Dean Waters. He was her attorney, nothing more. He could want her. Ask her out. Call her. None of that mattered.
“Did you find any damage around the house?” I asked. We needed a minute to reset.
“I didn’t get that far,” she admitted. “The books knocked me off track. I still can’t believe I left them out there. I’m not taking care of the cottage or the yard. I can’t handle the piers or the docks. I’m not doing anything I should.” She sounded defeated and exhausted.
“You’re only trying to get your bearings. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I don’t know any other way to be.”
I hated she felt as if she was in this alone. Walt was the one who let the property fall apart—not her.
“Why don’t I walk around and take a look for you? The coffee’s going. I’ll be right back.” I left out the side kitchen door before she could argue with me. I found a few shingles on the ground, but no wind damage.
I stood outside the house. I wanted to know what happened with the books. I wanted to understand what kept dimming the light in her eyes and dragging her down. Last night was fucking incredible and now everything seemed fucked up.