30. Margot
THIRTY
Margot
“ I don’t want to live in that summer anymore,” Caleb answered. “I want this one. This is the one that matters.”
I swallowed. Did that mean he had forgiven me? Why was I too scared to ask him?
“Are you sure?”
He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. It was protective. “I’m sure.”
I had lived with the regret for so long I knew it wouldn’t vanish over biscuits and coffee, but it felt better to be on this side of the apology than always testing it out on my tongue.
I leaned against his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“You have a lot to figure out here. I’m talking about the Blue Heron.”
I was glad we could change the subject for a minute.
“The Blue Heron is consuming me.” I stared up at the cracks in the porch ceiling. There were new cobwebs in the corners. No matter what, I couldn’t compete with the wildlife on the island. They were here before me and they were going to prove a point. I was just sharing this space with them.
“What do you need to make decisions about the place?” he asked.
“A lot of money,” I admitted. “I owe back taxes. And you’ve probably realized I’m not exactly killing it around here.”
There hadn’t been a single boater this morning. Although, I had to assume that was to be expected after a big storm. No boaters meant no money today. No new boaters were going to travel to Marshoak and need an overnight slip. I wasn’t bringing in income.
“How can you owe the taxes? It wasn’t yours when Walt ran the place into the ground.”
“Dean keeps telling me it’s part of being an heiress. I always thought that meant someone was dripping in diamonds and gold, not bills and debts.”
We drank our coffee and I nibbled on some of the biscuits. I’d only taken the ones Dean brought to shut him up. I was appreciative of the batch from Caleb.
“What about a loan?” he suggested.
“I don’t have anything that a bank would take as collateral for a business loan. I was counting on the royalties from my tour to pay my own bills for the next year. I wasn’t able to pay next month’s rent when it was canceled.” I wasn’t proud to disclose my financial situation, but this was the reality of the Blue Heron. Caleb needed to know the reality.
“Does Dean want you to sell it?” There was a twinge of bitterness in his voice.
“It’s an option. I could make a lot of money I think. Hopefully, enough to pay off the double mortgages, the taxes, and all the construction loans Uncle Walt took out when he fixed the docks after the last hurricane.”
“But that was three years ago.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “I know, but he never paid it off. Now I have to.”
Caleb leaned forward. His palm coasted over my knee. I felt the warmth of his hand, the warmth between us.
“I didn’t know it was that bad here. No one would blame you for wanting to sell and get out from under all the debt. Especially not me.”
“Thank you,” I replied softly. “It still might not be enough money even if I have a buyer tomorrow. The debts and double mortgages are higher than the property value. And then I don’t even have a place to live or a business to make any money.” I felt the tightness in my chest return. Every time I tried to sort through this fucked up mess, I only felt anxious and hopeless.
“That won’t happen,” he said it with so much reassurance and confidence.
“How do you know what’s going to happen with the Blue Heron?”
“I’m not sure exactly.” He paused. “I’ve got this feeling. This feels right. You. Here in this place.” He looked out at the few boats in the slips. His eyes drifted back to me. “I still can’t get over what you did for Lucas. And now that I know when and how…it’s even more incredible. I’m not necessarily one of those people who believes in fate. But…”
“But what?” I inched closer to him.
“Seems like you were supposed to come back here. For a lot of reasons.” He winked and everything inside me melted.
I was supposed to be here. Caleb believed I belonged on Marshoak Island. I blinked, absorbing the words. Trying to let it register that amidst this chaos and fear, there was a reason I had been brought to the Blue Heron. Caleb recognized it when I had still been in a blurry haze.
I moved closer. Our lips were only inches apart. I didn’t care when the plate of biscuits flipped over and Caleb’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chair. Our mouths met with instant passion.
I didn’t know if it was his words. Or if it was his eyes. Maybe it was the way his voice rumbled in my ear, promising me I wasn’t going to be tossed on the street. It didn’t really matter which magnet drew me to him—it could have been all of them. My lips were on his and our tongues tangled. Caleb’s hands snuck under my tank top, grazing up my spine. He had big hands. Wide hands that covered the small of my back and the flatness along my shoulder blades. I felt safe and protected in them. I nipped at his bottom lip before taking another gulp of him. We tasted like coffee and sugar and a little bit of honey.
“Hold on. Hold on.” I jumped back when Caleb’s pocket buzzed. “It’s work. I have to take it.”
I nodded, wiggling out of his lap so he could reach for his phone. I tried not to listen, but before he hung up I already knew he’d been called back to base.
“I have to go.” He stood. “I’m sorry to go like this.”
“No. I understand. It’s work. Everything okay?”
“A boat’s missing on the other side of the island. They need extra eyes to try to find it before she sinks completely. No one onboard, but something like that can cause a lot of problems in the channel, plus there’s a chance they could still salvage her if we can find the coordinates.”
“Oh.” I was shocked. It sounded serious and a little unnerving. I pictured a boat drifting underwater, slowly taking on more water until no one would ever know where she was. It was a haunting thought.
“I can’t leave yet. I forgot something.” I watched, stunned when he rushed in the house and reappeared with his copy of the book in his hand. “I don’t want to leave without this.”
“It would be okay.” I eyed the cover again. His thumb covered the title.
I joined him at the screen door. “I don’t really know what to say about this morning.” I looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry I left the way I did. I should have left a note. Something. It’s not because I didn’t have a great time. I did. A really great time.”
He drew me to him. “You have a lot going on here. Things make more sense to me now that you’ve explained it. We’ll talk some more later. Okay?”
I bit my lip, wondering if I had let him see too many of the cracks. Did I reveal too much? Was it too soon? Was all of this happening too quickly with Caleb?
“I’m not sure how long patrol will last, but I’ll pick you up for dinner at six o’clock.”
“Dinner?” I had completely forgotten.
“Yes, dinner. With that kid you rescued,” he teased. “You said you wanted to go so I could return the check.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you should just go on your own. Carrie didn’t ask me.”
I saw the wave of disappointment cloud his eyes. Yet, I was back to drowning in the grayness and the reality that I was sinking just like that boat he had to find. If I drifted too far out maybe no one would be able to pull me back to the surface.
I grabbed his free hand, grounding myself to him, begging he wouldn’t let me drift out to sea. I needed someone to help me fight those instincts.
“Go find the boat,” I urged. “I’ll be okay.”
He pulled out his phone. “I’m going to text you the address to Carrie’s house in case something happens and I can’t get here in time or you want to meet me there. Okay. You’ve got it. Lucas will want to see you.”
He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Margot?” He smelled clean from his shower mixed with salt and cedar. I could inhale that scent all damn day.
“Hmm?”
“You’re not alone. No matter what, I’m here. We’ll talk some more later, and I’ll try to help you figure out what to do about the Blue Heron.” I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he turned and rushed back to his truck. “I’ll call you later. When we find the boat,” he added.
“Okay.” I waved like a schoolgirl with a new crush on the high school quarterback, watching him drive off to practice.
I stood on the porch until every bit of dust kicked up from his tires had settled back into the lot. Then I turned and went inside.