Chapter 39
KAI
“You look handsome as fuck, bro.”
Luke flattens the collar of my dress shirt, while Wallace meticulously runs a lint roller over my slacks.
“Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s going to be the first thing that crosses their minds when I go in there.”
I know it won’t. Nothing remotely positive about me will cross the business team’s minds after the rumors they’ve heard about me. It’s been a little over a month and I still feel their judgment narrowing on my every move whenever I come into the office to meet with the interns.
I check the time again and groan. We’re ten minutes down until I have to walk in there.
The door creaks open as the other interns walk in.
Sanjay waves at me first. “Hey, Kai.”
“Hey, Sanjay.” I force a smile and nod at the rest of the interns. “Hey, guys.”
They come in, dressed in their carefully pressed suits and expensive cologne.
They all look so at ease. Why wouldn’t they?
For them, this is a shiny opportunity to slap onto their résumé.
For me? This is a test to see if I’m really as reckless as the rumors make me out to be.
Stress bears down on me. I swear the walls are shrinking in, crushing all the air out in a room that’s part of a world I don’t want to be a part of.
Rowan claps his hands on my shoulders, shifting my focus back onto him. “I know this feels like hell right now. Just remember that it’s only temporary. The presentation will be over before you know it.”
“Yeah, bro!” Hope sparks in Luke’s voice, yet the energy in his eyes flickers weirdly. Still, he slaps his hands against his chest with pride. “We’ll be out here sending good vibes, I got my lucky tartan suit on, and Wallace brought his bible.”
Wallace brandishes a hefty maroon book with Korean letters. “I got it for fifty percent off!”
I laugh, shaking my head just as Rowan scowls.
“Kai!”
I dart around. My heart paces faster, my hands growing clammier as Nirah Desai walks through the doors with an older man in tow.
I plaster a fake smile onto my face. “Hey, Nirah.”
Even in her blazer and her slacks, Nirah’s vibe is nothing but genuine. She smiles, patting her notepad against my arm. “I’m looking forward to your presentation. Are you ready?”
“I think—” I clear my throat. “I mean, yes. I am. I did my research, ran over my parts, and I’m ready to go.”
“Well,” a prideful voice drawls, “those are relieving words to hear from a member of the future generation.”
My eyes slide over to focus more on the man standing beside her. The air in my lungs suddenly thins out. The boys stiffen behind me.
“Is that who I think it is?” Luke whispers.
Rowan nudges him into silence as the man in the navy suit narrows his shrewd green eyes at him.
We all know who he is. He’s recognizable by the familiar sweep of graying blonde hair, and the faint scar nicking his jaw, running the same length of a hockey skate blade.
Matthias Valdis.
Retired captain of the Winnipeg Narwhals.
Current president of Valdis Ventures.
Simon’s dad.
NHL players either go into business or politics after retirement, but Matthias is still very much involved in the hockey league. He’s one of Lakefield University’s largest donors. That’s why their arena was renamed after him.
I’ve only seen him a few times. We’ve never talked—just exchanged tense looks off the ice.
And he doesn’t hold back on giving me one now.
“You all probably know Matthias Valdis,” Nirah says. “His company became one of our investors after we produced the NHL documentary last year. The Pacific Observer invited him to sit in on the presentation tonight.”
Matthias finally looks away from me. He grins at Nirah and brings out his arms with the same arrogant swagger as Simon.
“Just here to make sure my investment is in good shape,” he declares.
Nirah’s smile quivers.
“Of course.” Her eyes darken with sheer disdain for the man, yet her voice is nothing less than cordial as she gestures towards the conference room. “This way.”
They walk in together.
My feet root to the floor, too nerve-wracked and shaken to take a single step through those doors.
Rowan grounds me with a strong, assured squeeze on my shoulder. “Hey, you’re going to be alright, okay? You’re not on the ice. This isn’t hockey. This is a different turf you’re on. Simon’s dad can’t hold anything against you here.”
“You don’t know that—goddammit.” I tug at my shirt collar. The air only becomes shallower. My breath pushes out of my mouth in heavy droves that leave it hoarse and dry. “What if…what if he fucks up my presentation?”
“Even if he does, it’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through,” Luke reminds me. This time, I catch a hint of sadness on his face. “You can handle Diana Huang and all the batshit crazy things that come with sneaking around with her. That says a lot more than you realize, bro.”
“I agree,” Wallace puffs out a breath and his eyes widen. “She’s very pretty, but her family is terrifying.”
I run a hand over my face. They have a point. I’m sneaking behind Edward Huang’s back to hook up with his daughter, who I literally talked out of panic buying a seven-foot bamboo shelf, a new car, and a jet in a span of fifteen seconds.
The anxiety pulsing inside of me quiets down just a little. I nod my head and flex my shoulders back. “You know what, you’re right. I got this.”
Luke pats my back. “Atta boy!”
The boys quietly hype me up all the way to the threshold of the conference room.
When I step inside, all the conversations go quiet.
The business team avoids looking me in the eye, their attention suddenly zeroing in on the ballpoint pens they’re tapping their folders with.
My anxiety flares up again. The urge to bolt tugs at my feet, urging me to leave before I can do something or say something to embarrass myself.
You can’t run. Your time on the ice hinges on you finishing this internship. Just focus on what you came here to do.
I reach into my pocket and give Diana’s hair clip one last squeeze before I step up to the front of the room to present.
“The strategic plan establishes the communication objectives, the target audience, key messages, and communications tactics.”
Burke Reynolds opens the presentation with a confidence that fills the conference room.
I glance at Nirah. She takes notes on the presentation with her eyes narrowed and her chin propped on her fingers. Beside her, Matthias is watching me. Probing, scrutinizing.
Sweat gathers at the back of my neck. This is the world Diana grew up in and I’ve never respected her more than I do now. All the talking and staring goes on while you pretend you’re calmer than you are. My shaking hand relaxes as it curls around Diana’s hair clip.
I can imagine her hand on my arm, her lips brushing my ear as she whispers into it, “If you can handle playing in Division I and being friends with benefits with the heiress of the HMG, you can handle a dick in another Armani suit.”
A small smirk tugs my lips.
“And now we’ll be moving on to discussing the Pacific Observer’s environmental scan. Kai?”
My feet feel like they’re made of lead as I force them to move towards the podium.
Through the slat in the glass window, I can see Luke, Rowan, and Wallace praying in a circle with their hands locked together.
Wallace is leading, and Luke is aggressively gesturing at Rowan, who looks like he wants to bash him with the Korean Bible.
Despite everything, they believe in me enough to be here and support me. What if I did the same for myself? How far can I go if I stop thinking I’m a complete fuck up all the time?
My hands grip the sides of the podium before I slowly look out at the conference room of people. The fluorescent lights beam down on skeptical faces that I want to prove wrong.
“The Pacific Observer’s strengths lie in shining light on issues that mainstream media doesn’t cover.
That accounts for over eighty-five percent of their subscriptions,” I explain.
“While there are several strengths, the Pacific Observer needs to be cognizant of how inclusive their content is. According to the National Statistics Index, ninety percent of websites are inaccessible to people with disabilities who need assistive technology.”
I click to the next page that shows a series of bar graphs. “The results of a survey showed these factors are the reasons why—”
“I’m sorry,” Matthias cuts in. An incredulous smile stretches across his face. “Ninety percent? Those numbers are clearly inflated.”
Nervousness darts through me like pinpricks. The confidence I mustered up slowly drains out.
“Uh…these numbers are from the National Statistics Index, sir.” I swallow hard. “It’s a trusted source used by the Canadian government.”
Matthias rolls his eyes. “Listen, there’s a ton of talk about how we need more accessibility and inclusion, but we hardly see the groups who need it participating.”
The room is quiet, and everyone is staring at me.
You did the research. You know what you’re presenting is accurate and thorough. You did a good job on this.
I gulp. My hands curl tighter around the podium. “I…I see your point, Mr. Valdis. But a-at the same time, we often…we construct things that, you know, make it hard for people living with disabilities to fully participate in stuff.”
Doubt crushes my confidence into dust as Matthias arches his brow. “In what way is our society inaccessible? They get benefits. Hell, half of the spaces in a parking lot are designated for them.”
“I—”
“I know the quality of the organizations I invest in, son. I don’t appreciate being told lies about what we’re supposedly lacking in,” Matthias snaps. “Especially when the problem isn’t our fault.”
Diana’s hair clip isn’t enough to ward off the suffocating dread rising in me. It doesn’t matter if we’re on the ice or not. Matthias isn’t holding back his hostility towards me.
Nirah’s colleagues fidget uncomfortably.
I want to move on, just forget Matthias, and finish the presentation as planned.
But I can’t shake off the frustration that assholes like Simon and Matthias Valdis run their mouths and take up space without shame.
I give one hundred percent into everything I do that it’s not fucking fair for Matthias to take it out on me all because his son feels threatened on the ice.
I look Matthias dead in the eye. “We’ve been compiling this strategic plan for weeks—”
Matthias cups his ear. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
I glare at him. “We’ve been compiling this strategic plan for weeks to help the Pacific Observer draw in more subscriptions to benefit their long-term business plans.
Everything my group and I have done is for the good of the news organization.
I’m sorry you don’t like what you’re hearing, but that’s the reality the company must tackle if it ever wants to survive in the digital age. ”
Respect slowly dawns in the eyes of every person in the room. Matthias is the only one left fuming in his seat.
Nirah smirks at me, nodding in approval. Nice, she mouths.
But I don’t feel relieved. I feel drained and worn out from constantly putting everything I have into something only to give dicks like Matthias Valdis the power to make me question everything I do.
Nirah clears her throat and smooths a hand over her blazer. “In the interest of time, I’d like to move on to implementation tactics. If you have any questions, please leave them at the end. Thank you.”
I get off the podium. My muscles ache from how much I was tensing up during the presentation. By the grace of God, Matthias keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the night.
It doesn’t last, though.
At the end of the presentation, Matthias comes forward to shake my hand. His grip is strong and relentless, reminding me of the world he dominated before he stepped into this one.
“Thank you for your insight.”
“Thank you for listening.”
Matthias jerks me close. His hushed voice cuts the space between us like a knife. “You can put on a suit and pretend you’re well-mannered all you want. I know who you really are.”
My jaw tenses as I glare at him. “I wasn’t the one who leaked fake news to the media and trashed someone’s reputation.”
“And who is the public going to believe? You? Some disgraced player from an island no one’s ever heard of?” Matthias snickers. “Every general manager you’ve heard of in the NHL is only one phone call away from me, and I have a strong influence on media organizations like this one.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
“It’ll be hard to doubt that once you see the impact I have,” Matthias warns. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you never take Simon’s place.” He smiles and pats me on the shoulder. “Have a good night.”
I watch Matthias stride out of the room while I stand here, paralyzed by the pressure of having another target on my back.