Chapter 15
15
The last day.
I grip onto the ferry railing as I climb the stairs behind Rory, hauling our bags, the heat of the sun on my shoulders, and the echoing horn so loud that we both jump.
We’re still docked, but we’re seconds from leaving. I guess that’s what the horn means. Carter and Theo are somewhere behind us. They stopped on the boardwalk for no reason that I could tell, but they’re gonna miss the boat if they don’t get their asses moving.
I’m focused on Rory though, the wind lifting his hair as he reaches the top of the stairs, a smile breaking across his face as he turns to take me in.
“I could have carried my bag,” he says.
“I know.” I haul them up the rest of the way and stow them on a rack. “I’ve no doubt you could have.”
We head out to the railing. We’re silent for a moment, looking off toward the ocean in the direction we’ll be traveling. Away from Clua.
But it’s not really over. It can’t be, right?
Rory accepted the invitation to my family chat. He did it while we were waiting for the Uber, slipping out his phone and pressing a quick button and then showing me.
Jesus, I about cried. Again.
I might still. My hands were shaking when another round of welcomes came in from my family, all of them asking Rory to send more pictures.
That’s good. I love him being in the chat.
But I want more.
I swallow thickly and slide in behind him, setting my hands on either side of him on the railing and leaning close to his ear. “I think we’ve left port.”
There’s a growing weight in the back of my thoughts. What happens when we get home?
He twists to look at me, lifting that weight with a smile.
“Undocked,” he says.
I laugh. Blue water stretches on the other side of the railing, a sailboat off to our right, as the ferry shifts under our feet. “Unfortunately.”
He’s twisted to look up at me, his hair that brilliant copper in the sun, freckles dark. “We never finished talking about after we leave. After we go home.”
My heart pushes out a double beat. “No, we didn’t.”
“I don’t…” He presses his lips. “I don’t think it’s right for you to follow me to New York.”
My throat tightens. “Why?”
He shifts as the ferry moves, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me. “I don’t feel like it’s right. And I know I should have a reason, some logical thing, but I don’t. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“Okay.” I don’t take my eyes off him.
“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”
I push out a breath. “No, but I wanted to hear the truth.” I reach up to brush a tendril of hair out of his eyes as the ferry slowly rocks. “And I trust you. I trust your gut feeling. If it’s not right, then it’s not right.” I dip to kiss him, my heart hammering. “What did Leo do?”
His eyelashes flutter in surprise. “What?”
“What did Leo do? How did he win over Oliver?”
He smiles faintly. “He waited.”
“I can do that.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t ask you to?—”
“You didn’t ask,” I say. “I offered. And it’s not really even an offer, because it’s what I’m going to do anyway.”
“D, that doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“I’d never mind waiting for you.” I kiss him again, then feather more across his neck and under his jaw, relishing his closeness, his body against mine.
He’s quiet for a long moment—the ferry is picking up speed now, soon it will be too windy to talk and Clua will fade into the distance.
“Stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life,” he says. “Guys like you don’t fall for guys like me.”
“Who says?”
He pushes out a laugh. “All my experience.”
“Then we’ll change your experience. Change the pattern.” I squeeze him tight, leaning close to his ear so he can hear me over the wind. “I want you . And there’s no complexity in that. There’s no half-wanting or half-waiting. It’s just me, wanting you, for as long as I can see into the future.” I press my lips to his ear. “I heard this quote once. It goes like this: ‘the people with the highest walls have the deepest love.’ I think that’s you, Rory. And I’m not letting go.”
He’s quiet for a long moment and then he lets out a soft breath. “I love you, D.”
Jesus, he said it first.
He really said it first .
I tuck him against me, squeezing my eyes shut. “I love you, too.”
He sighs. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“I can’t believe you did.” I hug him tighter. “So, we go back.”
He nods resolutely. “We go back.”
I stare out at the ocean.
I don’t want to let go .