Chapter 4 #4
“You haven’t,” I replied.
“Mmm, demanding woman. Then, stay and give me another chance to convince you by showing you what you’ll be missing,” he proposed, with a mischievous smile.
“And what about not pressuring me?” I reminded him, and I got up to start getting dressed.
“Are you really going to leave?” he asked, and he seemed completely surprised by my decision.
I was sure that no one ever denied this man anything.
But I wanted to think about myself, I needed to think about what had happened and, above all, I needed to think about how Hermes made me feel.
I knew that if I stayed with him, my heart would be served on a platter for him to crush.
I wasn’t stupid and I realized that he already made me feel things I had never felt before and that this already exposed me to a great risk.
“Really,” I answered, and I sat on the bed to put on my sandals.
Hermes came up behind me and began kissing my neck.
“No cheating,” I said, though I couldn’t help but gasp.
“Stay,” he pleaded, whispering in my ear.
From behind, he embraced me with his muscular arms and pulled me back onto the bed.
When he had me where he wanted me, lying in his bed, he took possession of my lips.
He explored my mouth possessively and began undressing me, but I noticed he didn’t remove my sandals.
When I was naked, his lips traveled all over my body, not leaving a single inch unexplored.
I stopped thinking about my concerns and surrendered to the pleasure he was giving me, forgetting everything.
When he was moving up toward my face, I took his face in my hands and kissed him desperately.
A moan of pure pleasure escaped from his mouth and then he looked at me with.
.. adoration? That look made me shiver and I hugged him tightly.
We were both trembling from head to toe while he murmured my name brokenly over and over again.
He put on another condom and positioned himself between my legs, making me wrap them around his waist to penetrate me forcefully.
We both arched our backs and let out a deep moan.
Our bodies merged and synchronized in such a way that we seemed to be one.
Ecstasy reached us in a monumental orgasm, leaving us sweaty and completely dazed.
Hermes collapsed onto my body and I hugged him tightly with my arms and legs and began caressing his back.
He let me do it while our heartbeats slowed down and our breathing returned to normal.
I don’t know what led me to do it, but I began kissing his forehead, his eyes, and his cheeks, always caressing his back.
When he raised his head and looked at me strangely, I thought those displays of affection weren’t to his liking because they could involve “feelings or emotions” that were excluded from the relationship he was proposing. But, Hermes Darwich surprised me again.
“It feels good, keep doing it,” he whispered, against my lips.
I continued caressing and hugging him until I noticed he began to relax. At that moment I felt the need to get out of his arms and leave. I was terrified!
“Hermes, I have to go.”
“No.”
“Really, I must go.”
“No.”
I gently pushed him to get him off me, but I stayed by his side. I continued caressing his face and he closed his eyes again as if he were enjoying those caresses.
“Don’t go,” he whispered, and by his voice I could tell that sleep was taking over his body.
I don’t know how long it was until his breathing had steadied and he was sleeping peacefully.
When I stopped caressing him, he let out a grunt, but continued sleeping.
I got up very slowly and stood looking at him; he was worthy of admiration.
It was the first time I had seen him asleep and, in this state, he didn’t look like the authoritarian and controlling man that he showed to others.
The seriousness that always marked his features had disappeared and he looked younger and more carefree.
I shook my head to break out of my hypnotic state, covered him with the blanket, and got dressed.
A few minutes later I was in my car heading to my apartment, asking myself a ton of questions for which I still had no answers.
When I arrived, I took a long shower and went to bed.
I was tired, but my mind was racing because I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had experienced hours before.
Lately, insomnia had been my faithful companion, but in this case, it was welcome because I had to make a decision, even if it wasn’t easy.
On one hand, I liked Hermes a lot and I loved being with him, except when his grumpy side emerged, but I also knew that with him everything would be complicated.
Starting with the fact that he was only offering me to be lovers, which left out any type of future relationship, the list of drawbacks also included the fact that I liked him more than I wanted to admit.
Deep in my heart, I knew that Hermes was making me feel something I had never felt before and that, with him, my heart had awakened from a lethargy and was beating like never before.
This last part was too dangerous; if I fell in love with this difficult man, a long road of suffering awaited me, because it would mean giving myself knowing there was an expiration date.
I sat up in bed and held my head. It was better to put up a barrier between us and forget about his proposal.
If I wanted to protect my heart, Hermes Darwich was not an option; he would end up being the executioner who would destroy it.
I couldn’t do something that I knew would harm me, and I shouldn’t cling to something that couldn’t be. Hermes wasn’t for me.
My decision was made.
But I felt defeated.
◆◆◆
I was awakened by the sound of my cell phone. I opened my eyes, but I didn't know if I was dreaming or in the real world. I looked at the clock on the nightstand that showed it was five minutes to seven in the morning.
Who calls on a Sunday at seven? I wondered, annoyed.
I checked and seeing it was Serafina, I immediately answered.
“How did it go?” she asked, without greeting.
“Seri, it’s seven. Don’t you sleep?”
“Are you with him?” she asked, ignoring everything I said.
“I’m alone in my apartment, but I was with him… at his house,” I confessed, even though it meant fully waking up because my friend would start her interrogation.
“You were? Does that mean you slept with him?” she asked, raising her voice so much that I had to move the phone away from my ear.
“I slept with Hermes.”
“And how was it? I suppose he must be hot as hell, how many times…”
“Serafina, let’s talk about this in person. How about I come over to your place in a bit?”
“I can’t believe you’re going to leave me in suspense! How long will you take?”
“Just a little while. Besides, I’ll tell you now that I’ve decided I’m not going to continue with this.”
“My God! You can’t do this to me!”
“Let me rest a bit more and then I’ll head over and spend the whole day with you.”
“Alright, I’ll wait for you.”
“Oh! I’m sorry, maybe you have plans. If so, I can come another time.”
“Don’t even think about it! If you don’t come, I’ll come get you,” she exclaimed.
“How did it go yesterday with Nicolás?” I asked.
“Nothing worth mentioning, I’ll tell you later.”
“Ok, see you in a bit.”
“See you.”
I put my head back on the pillow, but sleep wouldn’t come. I lay there staring at the ceiling while replaying everything I had discussed with him. After torturing myself for a while, I decided to get up and get ready to go to my friend’s place.
I put on white shorts and a light blue tank top with small white flowers. I had breakfast and at nine I left for Serafina’s.
Seri lived about fifteen minutes from my house and, on a Sunday at that hour the road was quite deserted, so I got there in less time. As soon as she opened the door, she dragged me inside.
“Tell me right away because I can’t stand the suspense anymore. I prepared coffee, milk, and there are toast and jam.”
“I already had breakfast, but another coffee wouldn’t hurt,” I commented, as I hung my bag on the coat rack and sat down on the living room sofa.
“Start talking while I pour the coffee,” she said anxiously.
I told her everything that had happened, from Hermes’s presence at the pub to everything that had happened at his house, including his confessions and proposals.
I concluded the story by telling her my decision to distance myself from Hermes.
While I was talking, Serafina was so engrossed that she ate all the toast and must have had two cups of coffee.
“What do you think?” I asked, exhausted from talking so much.
“About what? What happened between you two or your decision?”
“About everything, Serafina. Don’t make me beg and just tell me everything you’re thinking because I can hear the gears in your brain turning from here.”
“To start with, I must tell you that I think that man has all the symptoms of being in love, or at least one step away from it.”
“You’re wrong,” I stated with conviction.
“Let me continue,” she said, raising her hand as if to stop my comment.
“Anyway, I think if I were in your place, I would have decided the same thing. There are several reasons. For starters, I don’t like that he limits the relationship to just being lovers with no future.
Add to that he doesn’t seem open to discussing the topic and on top of that, he’s quite controlling and dominant, a complicated combination.
But, on the other hand, and no less important, there’s you, and I think you’re already quite involved with him.
If you continue, you’re going to fall hopelessly in love. ”
“That’s exactly what I think.”
“And when do you plan to give him your answer?”
“As soon as possible. I don’t want him to think I’m playing hard to get, but today I don’t have the strength to face him.”