Chapter 11 #3
Hermes looked at me with eyes wide as saucers and opened and closed his mouth without knowing what to say, feeling cornered by my question.
Suddenly he lowered his head as if defeated, sighed, and then looked at me again.
I continued to look at him seriously, knowing he didn’t like talking about this topic, but I intended to push him to the limit because it was time to put all the cards on the table, it was time for the truth.
“I... I”
“You don’t want to get married, I know,” I stated, interrupting him to speed up the response, after all, I already knew what it was.
“And I’m not asking because I want to get married now, the issue is that if I want to be with you, I have to follow your rules, I have no other option. Does this seem fair to you?”
“I suppose not.”
“It’s also not fair that I always have to be thinking about whether what I do will upset you or make you distrust me. You don’t even allow me to go out with friends because you’re convinced I’m going to betray you.”
“That’s not true, I am distrustful, but I asked you for time.”
“And how much time do you need? I’m asking because while you decide whether I’m trustworthy or not, I’m the one paying the consequences of your distrust. Does that seem fair to you?”
“Delfina...”
“If you came to apologize, I partially accept. I can understand that everything they showed you and told you made you doubt, but I don’t accept your apology for not allowing me to defend myself.
You didn’t find me in bed with a lover,” I stated, and Hermes looked at me and I could decipher a certain pain from my comment because, yes, I had said it alluding to his ex’s behavior, but I didn’t back down.
“You had no proof of my supposed infidelity, it was just the word of a stranger and you decided to believe Malek Naik’s word. ”
“It’s true, everything you’re saying is true, but you have to admit that everything was very strange, that anyone would have been suspicious.”
“Anyone would have suspected something was off, there’s no doubt about that, but I would have listened to you.
You should always hear both sides, don’t you think?
Especially the version from the person you claim to love.
My word should have been the most important to you, but you refused to hear it because you had already sentenced me. ”
“Delfina, I’m asking for forgiveness.”
“You already said that, Hermes. And you already know my answer.”
“I want to recover what we had, my heart is breaking, allow me to...”
“What we had?” I asked, interrupting him. “What we had led us to where we are right now. I don’t want what we had, I want more,” I stated firmly.
Hermes looked at me completely surprised by my declaration.
I don’t know where I was finding the courage to tell him all this and not forget everything and throw myself into his arms. The courage probably came from the disappointment I felt at that moment.
I loved him, yes; I loved him very much, but I wasn’t willing to pay for others’ mistakes and much less fix what others had destroyed.
I didn’t have to live proving that I wasn’t the treacherous Valeria.
I was Delfina Darner, and I abhorred that woman for what she had done to him, but unfortunately, it seemed that Hermes couldn’t forget her.
I even began to question whether he might still be in love with that woman.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“I want everything you refuse to give me,” I replied. It wasn’t necessary to go into details; he understood them all too well.
“I can promise to do everything in my power to change, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll succeed,” he responded anxiously.
“That’s not enough for me, I’m sorry.”
“Delfina, don’t leave me, I beg you,” he said, standing up and coming toward me.
“You were the one who left me!” I exclaimed, standing up and moving away from him.
I didn’t want him to touch me. “You left me when I needed you most! If my brother hadn’t arrived in time, right now they would be marrying me off against my will to a stranger, but one who was a great business deal for my father.
He was trading me like property, he had me locked in his suite and cut off from communication, and when you arrived and could have taken my side and helped me, you turned your back on me and abandoned me.
I asked you to help me, but you were so blinded that you didn’t even listen to me,” I whispered, and my voice began to break.
“Forgive me, forgive me, I beg you. Don’t leave me,” he repeated, with emotion reflected in his voice and eyes.
“But you abandoned me,” I stated. “I need time, I need some breathing room to process everything that happened,” I declared, collapsing onto the long couch and covering my face with both hands.
Hermes knelt beside me and embraced me, but I didn’t return his embrace. I remained there like a rag doll; I was too hurt.
“There are few phrases more terrifying than what you just said,” he exhaled. “I made a mistake, I was a wretch, a damn bastard, but don’t ask me to stay away from you.”
“How can you say that so casually when you were the one who walked away from me?”
“I beg you…”
“I want to think about how to move forward. Try to understand me, it’s not easy to process everything that happened. I need to be alone, to calm down so I can think clearly.”
“If time is what you need, take it, but don’t go away, stay by my side,” he expressed, taking my face in his hands.
“No; I won’t be here, I’m going to Miami with my brother. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, if I come back at all.”
“What?!” he asked, with horror etched on his face.
“I might stay with my brother, I haven’t decided yet.”
“Don’t do this to us,” he pleaded.
“I’m doing the same thing you did, separating us. The difference is that...”
“I get it, Delfina, you don’t need to keep bringing it up. The difference is that I made a mistake.”
“I was going to say that the difference is that I’m not so absolute, but let’s leave it at that.” I stood up and headed for the door. “I’m asking you to leave, I need to sign some documents and then return home to finish organizing everything.”
“Delfina, my love, don’t do this.”
“It’s decided, I’m sorry.”
Hermes approached and looked at me with sadness. He lowered his face to mine and gave me a gentle kiss.
“I’m not going to stay away from you, we’ll stay in touch. Allow me to talk to you during these days.”
“I can grant you that. Goodbye, Hermes.”
“See you soon, my love. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon. Think of me.”
“Tell Julia to give you the package I left for you.”
“For me?”
“They’re the keys to your house and the necklace you gave me,” I replied.
“Both things are yours, I don’t want them.
I’m sure you’ll use the keys again, and the necklace was made for you.
Wear it and think of me every time you look at it, think of it as my heart that belongs completely to you and that you can do whatever you want with it.
If you don’t come back, my heart will stay with you, it will always be with you, it’s yours.
And remember that I’ll be waiting for you. .. always.”
With those words he left. He started walking, stopped in front of Julia’s desk, and I heard him thanking her for her intervention.
Julia tried to give him the package with his things, but Hermes refused and didn’t take it.
Then he continued on his way. I stood there, watching his back until he disappeared from my sight.