Chapter 11
These had been the strangest two weeks Caleb could remember.
He sat at the computer in his home office, deciding he could get through a couple more emails before bed. More would come in overnight, so the fewer he had left this evening the better.
He was tired though, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Kelly.
Fucking her in the kitchen earlier had been hot.
So hot he got tense again from the memory.
She’d asked him to spank her, pretending to be the naughty schoolgirl, and then he’d fucked her from behind until she’d come three times, losing more of her inhibitions with each new release until she’d almost screamed through the final one.
But something had felt off about it, and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was.
Maybe he was just too old for too much sex like that.
It had been good—no question—but fucking her last night under the covers had been more satisfying.
It had been different then for some reason.
More real. Like he’d really been able to take hold of her for a moment, when it so often felt like she was slipping through his fingers.
It was probably why she still held his interest after two weeks, which was longer than any relationship he’d had in a decade. She was as much a mystery as a pleasure, and he’d always had a puzzle-solving mind.
It was as much a part of him as his sex drive.
His investigator had turned up almost nothing on her past relationships, except she had a long habit of one-night stands. He was no closer to finding out who this dangerous ex was than he’d been a week ago.
Frustrating to say the least.
When he found himself typing out the same sentence twice, he closed out his email and gave up for the night. He was too tired and distracted to work right now. He might as well go to bed.
Kelly had gone to sleep an hour ago.
He went to his room to shower, but he hesitated before getting in his own bed. Despite his fatigue, there was a kind of shuddering energy inside him that compelled him to leave his room and head down to Kelly’s.
He tapped on the door and opened it at her muffled response, the same way he’d done the night before.
She rolled over sleepily as he made his way to her bed in the dark, climbing in beside her.
“Hey,” she mumbled. “This is a bad habit you’ve fallen into of waking me up.”
He pulled her into his arms. She felt warm and soft and strangely shaky. Like she was experiencing the same kind of shuddering energy he was. “That’s your mistake. You’re going to sleep too early.”
She softened against him and he kissed her, unwinding some of his tension as his lips moved gently against hers, as her lush body rubbed against his.
He was too tired to jump into arousal quickly—particularly after the sex they’d had not too long ago in the kitchen—but his groin twitched just slightly at the feel of her, the scent of her.
At his age, he really shouldn’t act so much like an always horny adolescent.
For a moment, it felt like Kelly was trembling, even as she responded to his embrace.
“Wasn’t our session earlier enough for you?” she murmured, stroking his bare back with a slow caress.
He wasn’t in the habit of answering questions like that since they gave too much away. “Are you saying it was enough for you ?”
“It kind of was.” It sounded like she was smiling in the dark, but there wasn’t enough light in the room for him to see her expression. “I thought men were supposed to slow down when they passed forty.”
He paused mentally as her question reflected his own thoughts so closely. He was a lot older than she was. Maybe she would prefer a man her own age. Maybe there were things she was missing since he was no longer in his twenties.
He dismissed the thought as soon as it crossed his mind.
She’d made it perfectly clear in the past two weeks that he was more than capable of satisfying her. Completely. He had never felt anything less than confident before when it came to sex.
“I’ve always been exceptional.”
She giggled, as he’d known she would, and the rippling sound prompted him to kiss her again.
Their embrace hadn’t deepened very far when she pulled away. “But seriously, Caleb, I’m really tired tonight, and I’m not sure I’m in the mood.”
That was a first. He realized she meant it.
She’d never said no to any of his advances before. Honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time any woman had said no to his advances.
He didn’t particularly like it.
Fortunately, he wasn’t really aroused. Just filled with that shuddering energy that wouldn’t settle. He drew back slightly, lying on his side under the covers, facing her. “Okay.”
She tried to peer at him through the darkness. “Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
“I don’t know. You wanted to have sex.”
“I assure you I’m perfectly capable of dealing with rejection.”
“No, you’re not.”
He stiffened since it sounded like there was a new resonance underlying the teasing words. “What does that mean?”
“Sorry. It was a joke.” She scooted over and found his chest in the dark, stroking it with a soft hand. “I doubt you deal with rejection very often.”
It was true, but something about her tone just now still bothered him.
“I’m just not really in the mood right now,” she added, sounding like she was worried about his reaction. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Pushing aside his distraction, he followed the line of her body until he could slip his hand under her waistband, cupping her soft, round ass. “I imagine you’re still a little sore.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” She was teasing again, evidently relieved at the shift in mood. “You’re not all that rough in bed.”
He chuckled, pulling his hand out of her pajamas before his body started getting the wrong idea, and settled her against him, trying to get more comfortable. “We’ll have to address that next time, I guess.”
“They say that practice makes perfect.”
He smiled at the wry note in her tone, enjoying how she felt pressed against his side, tucked under his arm. “That’s only true if one practices in the right way.”
After a stretch of silence, he started to wonder if she’d gone to sleep. Once she had, he would go back to his own room. He’d come down here for sex after all. Not to fall asleep with her in his arms.
“Why have you never gotten married?” she asked.
He tensed automatically before he made himself relax since he wasn’t in the habit of giving such revealing responses to questions. As close as she was, she would definitely have felt his initial reaction. “What kind of question is that?”
“I don’t know. Just wondering.” Her tone was very light as she added, “No need to worry. I’m not offering myself for the position or anything.”
“I didn’t think you were.” It was the truth. Kelly might be partly a mystery, but she wasn’t a mystery in this. He’d never once suspected her of having domestic designs on him. If anything, she kept holding part of herself back from any true intimacy.
She was like him in that. She was like him in a lot of ways. More than anyone he’d ever met.
Which might have been why he answered her question when he normally wouldn’t have done so. “I don’t know. It never crossed my mind as a good option. If I had a wife, I?—”
“You what?”
“I wouldn’t treat her right.” He wished he hadn’t said the words after they were spoken. They sounded bland, unconcerned, but they exposed too much.
Kelly was silent for a moment, shifting slightly against him, her soft hair brushing against his skin. “A lot of men don’t treat their wives well. It doesn’t stop them from marrying.”
“That’s true.”
It felt like she was going to pursue the question, but then she seemed to pull herself back. He wondered why she’d asked in the first place since she seemed to avoid any sort of personal conversation.
He was off-kilter and strangely vulnerable—having admitted more than he had to anyone for years—so he asked, “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Why haven’t you gotten married?”
“No one has ever asked me.”
“Don’t give me that. You’ve never given anyone the chance to ask you. Didn’t you tell me on the first day we met that you don’t do seconds?”
He remembered that day well and wondered why she’d felt more complete to him then than she did now. What about her now, even with his arm around her, felt like it was always slipping through his fingers?
“Yeah. I might have said that.”
“So why? Why just casual sex?”
She pulled away from him, rolling over on her side to face him.
He could only see a vague outline of her face and body in the dark, but she seemed defensive, prickly, even though her voice was still light as she said, “Coming from a man who has lived his life with nothing but casual sex, that’s a strange question. ”
Maybe it was a strange question, but he knew why he resisted any serious relationship.
Wes had been right a couple of weeks ago when he’d said he always ran when things got real.
He didn’t know why Kelly resisted though, and he wanted to know.
“Coming from a woman who just asked me why I’ve never gotten married, that’s a strange response to a harmless question. ”
She relaxed with a long exhale. “I’ve just never wanted to do relationships. Is that so strange?”
“It’s rather unusual, yes.”
“Because I’m a woman?”
“Partly.”
“I don’t know.” She rolled over onto her back and now seemed to be staring at the ceiling. “I don’t like to depend on other people, and in a relationship I would have to. I’m not inclined to trust, and you have to trust to make a relationship work. Sex I can control, so that’s what I do.”
A thick silence followed her words, a silence Caleb could feel in his chest. He somehow knew the words were true and that she hadn’t intended to say so much.