Chapter 18 #3
She was still gasping when he lifted up and moved higher up her body, claiming her mouth in a hard kiss.
She kissed him back, tasting herself, nothing held back, and she fumbled with his trousers so she could feel him more, harder, even deeper.
Their embrace had suddenly become so urgent that they almost forgot the condom, but he remembered at the last moment and took a minute to roll one on.
Soon he was entering her, filling her, and she cried out in satisfaction—even as a few tears still streamed down her cheeks. They rocked together in an instinctive rhythm, and it soon became fast and urgent.
“Kelly,” Caleb grunted, adjusting his knees to give himself more leverage as his hips began to thrust harder.
Kelly forced out a wordless sound of response, squeezing him between her legs and fisting her hands in the pillow to keep herself from squeezing him with her arms too. Another orgasm was swelling up, and it felt like it was going to be powerful.
“Kelly,” Caleb rasped again, ducking his head down, his eyes never leaving her face.
Her hips were bucking up in clumsy jerks, bumping against his pelvis as she loosened and tightened her legs—her body so eager for her approaching orgasm that she was almost clumsy.
“Kelly,” Caleb muttered again. This time he seemed to be trying to get her attention. “You want this?”
She would have thought he was crazy—since she clearly wanted this so much she was about to scream—but she knew what he was asking.
If she wanted him. All of him. All the way.
“Yes.” The sensations bombarded her but refused to release themselves. “I want you. I want you.”
Caleb made a guttural sound. “I want you too. All of you. All of you.”
She turned her head to the side when a sliver of fear overwhelmed her. She squeezed her eyes shut. Squeezed her legs around Caleb’s middle, her heels digging into the small of his back. Felt her entire body tightening in torturous anticipation.
It was still so wrong to want him this way.
“It’s okay, Blossom. I’ve got you.”
At this words, her muscles began to clench ruthlessly around the pumping of his cock. Her body spasmed helplessly beneath him as she tried to ride out the waves of radiating pleasure.
Caleb was still trying to push inside her, but mostly he was trapped, by her contracting muscles or by the power of his own climax. His face contorted as he reached the limit of his control, but his eyes never left hers—not even when he grunted out a final, rough, “Kelly, Blossom” as he came.
She started crying for real.
His weight rested on her afterward for a minute, his face buried in her hair, just above her shoulder.
Kelly accepted his hot weight. She tried to unwind her legs and wiggle some circulation back into her toes. She tried to stop crying.
But she couldn’t. Not really. She kept hearing Caleb murmuring to her, against her neck, “Oh fuck. I want everything from you too. You don’t have to hold anything back from me anymore.”
He was expecting her to calm down and be happy, but there was no way that was possible.
Her plan had worked. Caleb was vulnerable. Completely at her mercy.
He was hated. And not hated.
And her father was still dead.
She might have surrendered far too many parts of herself to Caleb, but her surrender would never lead to light.
“Kelly?” he prompted after a couple of minutes, when she was still shaking in his arms.
There was no explanation she could give him. Nothing that would even come close to answering his unspoken question.
No lie she could tell him.
She had to get away. Right now. Before she broke down even more—shattered everything—even more than she already had. Before she blurted out the final truth.
She couldn’t stay here and be held by Caleb. Couldn’t stay here with him at all. She couldn’t stay and be who she’d been in his arms.
But she couldn’t get away without an explanation. “It was… so good,” she gasped, praying that he’d find it convincing. “Sorry about all the crying. It was overwhelming. After all the angst and having to admit that and everything—the release—just did me in.”
He didn’t speak for a long time, and she had no idea if he believed her.
Finally he said dryly, “If you keep crying every time I have sex with you, I’ll eventually start to wonder about my performance.”
The humor was so unexpected that Kelly choked on a real burst of amusement. But then she just choked. And panicked. It hit her so hard and so quickly that she felt the room spinning around her.
“I need to leave,” she said, pulling away from him, sitting up, gasping for air.
Caleb’s face twisted as he dropped his arms to his sides. “What?”
Trying to cling to the remaining control she had, Kelly got up and moved over toward her overnight bag that was tucked in the corner of the room. She started throwing some clothes in it, then realized she was naked.
She limped over to where her bra and shirt were tossed on the floor.
“I’m… It’s too much. I need some space.”
For once, the words weren’t even lies.
“So you’re leaving? After what just happened?” Caleb demanded. He was angry again, which should have been a good sign. But underneath the anger was an undeniable current of hurt. “After what we just said? You’re leaving me?”
Kelly redressed herself and tried to find the rest of her stuff to throw into her overnight bag. “I’m sorry, but it’s just too much. Maybe we can sort it out later.”
She kept her head hidden from him because, if she looked him in the eye, she would lose it completely.
Caleb didn’t answer. He didn’t try to stop her. She shot him a quick glance and saw he’d clearly pulled in on himself, all his protective instincts on guard again. He’d made himself as vulnerable as he ever had, and she’d just slammed the door in his face.
Now he just watched every move she made with a cool, penetrating gaze.
Kelly wasn’t sure that she had everything in the bag, but she didn’t really care at the moment. Her purpose for being there at all was nowhere now, and the only thing that mattered was getting away. If she wanted to keep her sanity.
She’d just professed feelings for the man who might or might not have murdered her father. She’d surrendered all of herself to him—so much more than just her body. There was no way to make sense of a world where that could happen.
So she needed to get away. “I’m really sorry, Caleb,” she said, as she heaved the bag up and started to leave the room. “I mean it. But I just can’t?—”
He still didn’t answer. He felt as cold and hard as he’d been before they’d met. Caleb followed her out of the room. Out of the house. Down to where her car was parked.
He grabbed her shoulder just before she got into her car. “Kelly,” he said in a rough murmur. “You’re making a mistake.”
She shrugged weakly, and her voice cracked as she answered, “It’s not the first time.”
She had no idea where to go. Or what to do. Or if she even had any options.
All she knew was that she had to get away.
She fell into a daze as she drove into the city—all her chaotic feelings, all her anger, all her angst freezing into a tight, fragile control.
Eventually she ended up at an apartment building. At an apartment.
One she hadn’t consciously intended to drive to.
She knocked on the door.
It swung open.
Reese stood before her, gasping in surprise when she saw who was at her door.
“Kelly?” Reese asked, her eyes huge and bewildered.
Kelly gulped and forced out a tight smile. “Hey there. Do you happen to have an extra bed for the night?”
Reese’s face changed, softened visibly. She reached out and put a gentle hand on her arm. “Kelly, hon, are you all right?”
Kelly’s face crumpled. Then she shattered. Burst into pitiful tears.
Reese took her in.