Chapter 20
Caleb couldn’t remember ever really being with someone. Genuinely with them—in heart, not simply body.
Well, he did remember. And then he’d lost her when he was still just a boy. And he’d certainly never felt that way with anyone since.
Until now. Until Kelly.
He wasn’t fool enough to think that one experience—one person—would change the whole course of his life.
It might feel that way occasionally, but he wasn’t really any different than he’d been just yesterday, than he’d been a month ago.
Nothing had softened or weakened about him in the past two weeks since he’d shown up on Kelly’s door in an act that had surprised even him.
He’d been miserable in the two days she’d walked away from him, but he’d never dreamed he’d want someone enough to work to get her back.
He wasn’t really different now. He just felt something new when he woke up in the morning, when he went to check his phone, when he got his stuff together after work.
Like there might be someone to talk to.
He’d gone out with Kelly a lot in the past two weeks, taking her to the movies, to dinner, to the ballet.
They’d had lunch together several times, and she’d come out to his place on Saturday, taking the trip to the park with Ralph, and then just hanging out for most of the day.
She’d even allowed him to have Pete stick with her to keep her safe.
But they hadn’t yet had sex.
He had no real idea why she was hesitating, although she’d said several times that she wanted to take it a little bit slow.
He was willing to do that. He could almost understand it.
But she’d never been reticent about sex before, and he was ready to get back into it.
The constant frustration—from being around her, surrounded by her, for two weeks, without being able to bury himself inside her—was putting a bit of a damper on his mood.
He was trying to be patient, but he wasn’t used to holding back from what he wanted. And he wanted her. So much. More now than ever.
A few days ago, they’d been kissing after dinner, and he’d gotten so hard that she’d slipped her fingers in his pants and gotten him off with her hand.
It wasn’t bad. Not at all. But it wasn’t nearly enough.
So when, on the second Saturday after they’d gotten back together, she spent the day with him and stayed on into the evening, watching a couple of old movies, he was starting to get his hopes up.
It was late when the last movie ended, and he asked if she wanted to stay the night.
“Really?” she asked, hiding her eyes behind her hair in a way that was tantalizing, irresistible.
“Of course. I’ll even give you one of my shirts to sleep in if you want.”
Twenty minutes later, she was sitting on his bed with her legs tucked up under her, wearing nothing but one of his blue Oxfords that managed to look both innocent and sexy, and asked him if he was sure it was all right that she sleep with him when she wasn’t yet ready for sex.
Caleb hid the surge of disappointment and said that of course she could.
He was rewarded when her worry transformed into smiling, tender warmth. Her hair was a lovely, erotic cascade all over her back and shoulders. And her smooth, graceful legs were folded almost provocatively, leading up to the sensuous curve of her hips.
Caleb ached for her. His body, his heart, everything. But he schooled his expression so that she wouldn’t see his frustration. And, after he took off his clothes, he pulled on a pair of gray pajama pants, even though he preferred not to wear them.
He turned out the light and got under the covers beside Kelly.
She shifted to her side and brushed her hair out of her face. “Are you getting annoyed with waiting for me?”
She looked so worried, even in the dark, that Caleb couldn’t help but smile. “It’s only been two weeks. I’m not such an ass that I can’t manage to refrain from sex for a couple of weeks.”
He was such an ass. He had been since he’d hit puberty. But he’d told her he was willing to change if he could, and he’d meant it, so he could hardly back out now.
Her mouth softened in an answering smile. “I suppose not. But I think this is different. I’m really not intending to tease and torture you, you know.” Her hand slipped up to his chest, and she rubbed it, more affectionate than erotic.
“I didn’t think you were,” he assured her, enjoying her touch in whatever form it took. “I know you’ve been all torn up by everything that’s happened. It makes sense that you don’t want to rush into anything too soon.”
She opened her mouth as if to object. But then she closed it and instead leaned over and pressed a soft kiss into his neck.
Caleb experienced another pang of disappointment that she still didn’t trust him enough to truly tell him why she was stalling.
When Kelly pulled back, her face was natural and relaxed. “I need to start rounding up some more clients, I think. Taking most of the month off kind of stalled my momentum.”
Caleb gave her a dry half smile. “I already got you a perfectly good client.”
Kelly giggled and gave him a teasing slap on his bare chest. “Like I would take a client you bullied into using my services.”
He managed to maintain a smug expression. “As if I would do anything so crass as bully someone.”
Kelly seemed to appreciate his pretense at arrogance. She chuckled huskily and pulled him into a soft hug. “I love it when you act all cool and superior.”
He loved when she was like this. Loved how she wanted to be close to him. Loved that it felt so real, so natural—so inexplicably different than the way they were before, as if something inside her had melted or relaxed.
But her fond touchiness did make it difficult for Caleb to maintain his patience and self-control. When his body instinctively reacted to the feel of her soft curves against him, he pulled away gently. Clearing his throat, he replied, “What do you mean? There’s no act here. I am cool and superior.”
She giggled deliciously and didn’t try to nestle against him again.
Since she was in a talkative, affectionate mood, he risked a question. “And since I’m so cool and superior, have you thought any more about giving me more information on this guy from your past?”
He felt her grow very still beside him. “Caleb?—”
“I’m just asking.”
“I know. But I’m wondering if he’s giving up on me again. Nothing has happened since that one attack.”
“I know that. But I’ve been protecting you all this time, with the exception of the two days you left me, so he might not have had an opportunity. You can’t just ignore men like him. They always come back. They’ll remain a threat until they’re dealt with.”
“But I don’t want you involved any more than you already are. I don’t want to put you in danger.”
“Why do you assume I’m in danger from him? He’s much more likely to be in danger from me.” His voice had taken on a certain chill, but there was no way he could hide it.
She swallowed so hard he could see it. “Caleb, please.”
“I’m serious, Kelly. I know people. I have resources. I could make a call and have the whole thing taken care of.”
She didn’t answer, but he felt her trembling in the bed beside him.
“It’s true.”
“I know it’s true,” she whispered.
“Does that scare you?”
“A little.”
He felt something painful clamp down on his heart. “Does that scare you away?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not going anywhere.”
He let out a breath, amazed that someone could know him so well, so deeply, and stay by his side in spite of that. He reached out to pull her against him, holding her close since it was the only way he had at the moment for expressing his feelings.
He wanted to do so much more, but that wasn’t yet being offered.
It was still dark when Caleb woke up.
Blinking, he adjusted to the darkened room and glanced over at the bedside clock. Four-fifteen. He usually woke up naturally at dawn, so he wondered what had woken him up now.
Then he heard it.
Kelly moaned beside him.
Rolling over quickly, he peered at her, his senses immediately alert. She was lying on her back, her hair a tousled mess around her. She was still sleeping, but the covers had slipped down to her waist.
The shirt had come unbuttoned and was revealing a lot of her neck and one shoulder, and one of her arms was draped over her belly.
As he watched, she moaned again, her features tightening for a moment with the sound.
Caleb couldn’t tell if it was a nightmare or an erotic dream, but his body reacted to the low, throaty sound of her groan.
She gave a little grunt, and her body shifted on the bed. When his eyes slid lower, he could faintly see that her nipples were tight and were poking out wantonly through the cotton.
Smothering a groan of his own, Caleb felt his cock start to harden.
“Eh,” Kelly huffed in her sleep, her head tossing gently on the pillow.
Caleb’s body was suddenly way too hot, so he pushed the covers down impatiently.
Kelly’s arm flew up from her belly to the pillow above her head, and she gasped in a vague response before she grunted softly again.
Caleb was almost fully erect now, and he was hard-pressed not to reach down to his own cock. Kelly must be having an erotic dream. She must. She made those kinds of noises when she was close to orgasm.
He was considering waking her up when her body jerked again. “No, no, no,” she mumbled, still in her dream.
Caleb’s spine stiffened, and his heart lurched painfully. It must not be a good dream after all.
Reaching over, he gently shook Kelly by the shoulder. “Kelly. Kelly, wake up.”
“No,” Kelly gasped, flailing in response to his touch. “No! Murderer.”
He flinched at the word. “Kelly!” he said sharply, needing her to wake up because he couldn’t stand to hear her sound so helpless.
Her eyes flew open on a frantic huff, and she gaped at him.
“You were dreaming,” he explained thickly, torn between concern and hot arousal.
“Oh,” she panted, staring at him blindly. After a moment, she whimpered a little and burrowed into him.