Chapter 23
Caleb was used to feeling guilty, although he could usually shake it off better than this.
But something about the clash between his feelings for Kelly and his conversation with Vinnie had left him with a guilt so heavy it was unbearable.
He liked who he was with Kelly, and he didn’t like other things he’d done—the other man he’d been—to raise their heads in her vicinity.
There was nothing he could do about the sins of his past. They were done, and no recompense could be offered to absolve him of them. Most of the time he was fine with that, but he couldn’t shake the feeling tonight. The weight of it intensified everything else he was feeling too.
It was probably why he got so jealous when Wes leaned over and whispered something in Kelly’s ear as they were leaving.
He had no idea what his friend was telling her, but he didn’t like it. Not because he thought Kelly would ever respond to the other man, but because it indicated something about her that he didn’t know.
Her reaction was just a casual smile, but it didn’t look genuine.
Something bothered her about what Wes had said, and she just shrugged it off when he asked.
Caleb didn’t say anything else. He took Kelly by the arm and led her outside to where his chauffeured car was waiting.
He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much, but it did. Wes had no business talking to Kelly in private, and Kelly had no business keeping it from him.
He told himself to get over it. Nothing important had happened. It was one of those nights where everything stood out in starker contrast. Where every feeling, thought, and impulse felt stronger and more significant than it should.
It probably had something to do with the hot sex they’d had before they left the house, and it definitely had something to do with the lingering guilt from his conversation with Vinnie.
Kelly and what had happened with Vinnie were among the few things in the world that left Caleb feeling out of control.
“Wes seemed nice,” Kelly said, seeming a little distracted. She looked like sex embodied in lush, golden form in her red dress and tousled fall of hair, and his body reacted to the sight of her.
It almost always did.
Caleb wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say in response to that comment, but he really didn’t want to talk about Wes right now. “He’s okay.”
“You’ve known him a long time?”
“Since elementary school. Why?”
She gave a little shrug. “Just curious. Is he married?”
Caleb didn’t like the direction of these questions. Why the hell should Kelly care about Wes anyway? “No.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Why?”
“They’re normal questions, aren’t they? Isn’t he your friend?”
“I guess.”
“Why are you so grumpy?” Kelly asked him with a frown. Her dress had shifted as she’d adjusted in the seat and was now revealing an even larger expanse of her deep cleavage.
“I am not grumpy,” Caleb gritted out, feeling like the hairs were standing up on the back of his neck. “I just don’t know why we need to have a whole conversation about Wes, if that’s all right with you.”
Kelly stuck out her chin as the car pulled into the street and headed back to Caleb’s house outside the city, which was over an hour away.
“Are you jealous?” she asked, looking almost surprised.
Her eyes seemed tired, strained, as if she’d had an emotionally stressful evening herself, although he wasn’t sure why or how that would have been the case.
But they were now flashing with something that taunted him.
“I am not jealous.” He wished this topic had never come up. Wished he’d not attended this party after all. Wished one of his few friends in the world hadn’t shown up this evening.
Kelly took a deep breath, and something about that breath struck Caleb as strange—like she was gearing herself up somehow.
But then he forgot all about the strangeness when she scooted over next to him on the supple leather seat.
She gave him a teasing grin and slid her hand from his belly up to his shoulder. “I think maybe you are jealous.”
“Kelly,” Caleb warned, his impatience boiling up. He needed to be left alone so he could recover his control—of himself, of his feelings, of his guilt. If he didn’t, the roiling intensity inside him might escape, and Caleb couldn’t allow that to happen.
“What?” she replied, tilting her face up toward him. “Why don’t you just admit it? You’re jealous and angry because your friend made a move on me.”
Caleb made a harsh noise in his throat and jerked toward her. “So he did make a move on you?”
The corners of Kelly’s full lips turned up, although her eyes still looked rather stressed. Which didn’t make much sense since Kelly should have just spent a relatively uneventful evening. “Of course he did. And what would you do if I told you I was… tempted by his offer?”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. He knew she was teasing him on purpose. He knew it. But he couldn’t suppress the feral response. “Were you?”
Her eyebrows lifted. “What would you do if I was?”
“Were you?” he demanded again, leaning toward her and taking one of her upper arms with his hand.
He was being irrational. This was absolutely stupid. Why the hell couldn’t he act like his normal self again?
He was being played by her. She was trying to get him to let go of his feelings, and he was allowing it. Letting her play him.
Almost as if he wanted to let himself go.
“Would you try to convince me otherwise?” Kelly teased him, her voice husky and seductive. She took one of his hands and placed it on her thigh, just where the slit of her skirt exposed the bare skin above her knee. “Would you try to prove to me that you have more to offer than he does?”
“You already know what I have to offer you,” he managed to say in a semblance of his natural voice. Every word he spoke was rougher and throatier than it should have been, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was acting this way.
His hand remained on her thigh, and he could feel both the fabric of her dress and her supple skin beneath his palm.
He didn’t move it any farther though. He’d always been happy to follow her lead whenever she wanted to be sexually adventurous.
But something about this felt strange—and the strangeness wasn’t only from his nearness to losing control.
Something about Kelly felt… off. As if she was baiting him this way in spite of her mood rather than because of it.
But that wouldn’t make any sense at all.
Kelly shifted until her mouth was next to his ear. She lowered her hand once more to his belly, just above Caleb’s partially hardened cock.
He’d been semierect for a while now, his arousal feeding off his other intense feelings.
“Caleb,” Kelly whispered, her breath wafting over the sensitive skin of his ear. “Why do you keep holding back? Let yourself go. Show me why I shouldn’t be tempted by anyone else.”
Then she covered his hand with hers on her thigh, closed her fingers around his wrist, and slid his hand up beneath the skirt of her dress. All the way up her thigh.
Up to the juncture between her legs.
He could feel the warmth of her through the fabric of her panties.
His cock jumped painfully to full erection as a flash of hot desire slammed into him.
“Fuck me, Caleb,” Kelly murmured, her voice an erotic caress, a tantalizing torture. “Are you really going to make me beg?”
Caleb grabbed her upper body and devoured her mouth with a hard kiss, finally letting go of the restraint that had been holding his instinct in check. She clung to him. Moaned into his mouth. And Caleb channeled all the smoldering intensity of the evening into claiming her as his.
His nostrils flared as his mouth moved roughly against hers—sucking, stroking, exploring, and nipping.
His hands worked her over ceaselessly, touching her everywhere he could reach.
She’d begun to whimper, and he loved the passionate sound of it.
He reveled in the way she always responded to his touch.
Then she tore her mouth away, panting and flushed. “Now, Caleb,” she demanded, turning away from him and beginning to maneuver on the seat. “Fuck me now.”
He blinked, dazed with desire and still trying to hold on to the threads that kept his control intact. He stared at Kelly blankly until he figured out what she was doing.
She’d turned over on the broad expanse of the seat beside them and was now positioning herself on her hands and knees, her head toward the window.
Caleb blinked again, his eyes focused intently on the lush swell of flesh, her hips round and full beneath the slick fabric of her dress. Then he saw that she’d reached behind her and was bunching up the silk, baring her ass to his sight.
He made a hoarse sound in his throat and was briefly afraid he was going to lose it before he even got in position.
But then, swallowing over the shocked thrill, he adjusted his body too. Raised himself up on his knees beside her and started unbuttoning his trousers.
The back seat of a car wasn’t the ideal place for fucking a woman doggie-style, but there was plenty of room, and the slight instability in their positioning only made it that much more exciting. They had privacy since the little window between the front and back of the car was closed.
As long as the driver didn’t slam on his brakes.
Kelly was looking at him over her shoulder, urging him to hurry with moaned repetitions of “fuck me” and “now.”
Then Caleb pulled her ass cheeks apart. Nudged at her until he found her entrance. Then wedged his cock into her channel.
The clasp of her body was tight and warm, but she wasn’t as wet and pliant as he’d expected. She was very tight.
He adjusted behind her, waiting for her to relax. She’d turned forward again and was facing the window. Her hair was falling all around her. She was breathing heavily—just as he was—but something about her body seemed different.
Every instinct inside him was screaming at him to thrust, to drive himself home, to take her, to claim her as his.
But he kept getting those prickles of uncertainty, so he made himself bite out, “Okay?”
She looked back over her shoulder at him, a familiar, sultry look in her eyes. “Yeah,” she breathed. “Good. Let go, Caleb. Fuck me. Take me like this.”
Her raw urging displaced the faint thread of concern, and he felt a new, powerful throb of base instinct. With a harsh grunt, he pulled back and drove into her, his cock sliding nearly out and then pushing its way deep into the hot depths of her body.
“Yeah,” she gasped. “Fuck me.”
So he let himself go after all. Released the hold he’d had on his impulses and thrust into her hard from behind, the powerful motion of his pelvis channeling his need to dominate, to possess, to claim.
He was sliding inside her fairly easily, and he could feel the tight friction on his cock and the indirect stimulation of his balls coalesce into a rising climax. The limitations of their location weren’t much of an issue, as Caleb could brace himself by widening the stance of his thighs.
Kelly was staring down at the leather seat, her body jostling every time he pushed into her, and she was releasing breathless grunts in time to his thrusting.
But as the repeated motion leveled off Caleb’s sensations momentarily, he started experiencing those nagging questions again.
What did that stressed look in Kelly’s eyes mean?
And why was she still not wet around the stroking of his cock inside her?
And were those grunts of pleasure or merely an involuntary response to the momentum of his pounding into her?
“Kelly?” Caleb gritted out. “Good?”
“Yeah,” she cried on his next stroke in. “Fuck, yeah.” She raised herself up a little until she was bracing herself with her hands on the car door in front of her. Then she turned her head to look at him, something wild and frantic in her eyes. “It’s good.”
Caleb released his held breath at her assurance and leaned over her, bracing one of his hands next to hers against the door of the car.
He kept thrusting, now pushing her whole pelvis forward on each thrust. “You like it like this?” he rasped, his momentum flaring up again as he felt her body moving with the power of his.
“Yeah,” Kelly gasped, turning her face forward again. “Fuck me from behind. Fuck me like an animal.”
Caleb was grunting now as he levered into her, his pelvis slapping against her ass on every thrust, his trousers pushed down to his knees.
Kelly’s verbal responses were getting louder and more urgent, and Caleb waited for her body to start shaking the way it did just before she came. It didn’t, however. It didn’t tense up at all.
That heavy doubt sprang up again as he started to vaguely wonder if Kelly was as into this as he was.
But then she cried out, “God, Caleb. Harder, harder. I want it harder.”
He growled, forgot everything else in the red-hot rush of primal need. He pounded into her as she’d urged, letting primitive instinct turn him into a rutting animal. His cock was ramming into her roughly now, shoving her body forward with rhythmic force while her frantic cries kept urging him on.
He felt strong, powerful, invulnerable. Threatened by nothing, not past sins, not secrets, not Kelly, not his own feelings.
Until he couldn’t stop the mounting sensations. Let the wild rush of it push him over the edge.
Kelly was crying out hoarsely—it sounded like pleasure—when Caleb felt himself coming in a hard, fast, blinding release.
His pelvis thrashed clumsily against her hips as the spasms ripped through him, and then he felt the pulsing spurts of his release.
He was gasping and sweating beneath his tux when he felt himself come down.
Kelly was gasping too, still not looking at him, and her breaths sounded harsh and painful.
And instead of the familiar relaxation that usually overtook him after a physical release, he felt vaguely sick and dizzy. Not from the motion of the car.
He pulled his cock out. As soon as he’d pulled back, Kelly kind of collapsed onto the seat. But then she immediately moved to a sitting position, curling her body in on itself.
He couldn’t seem to bring himself to look at her face, afraid of what he might see there.
His chest constricting, Caleb straightened up.
He had a sick, heavy feeling in his gut, although he hadn’t yet explicitly worked out what was causing it. Just a minute ago he’d been glorying in some kind of primal power over his world.
Now he couldn’t even remember what it had felt like.