Chapter Five
Jo
Two Weeks Later
I can’t look my sister in the eye.
“What’s your problem? You’ve been acting weird for weeks now.” Her tone is drained and curt. I know she’s exhausted with everything she has going on at school. It helps because every ounce of me wants to apologize for nearly fucking her ex.
This might be the universe telling me I don’t ever need to tell her. I can take this to the grave.
Clearly, I was over emotional anyway and wasn’t thinking straight. I mean, there was an actual murderer hunting me. Of course, I wasn’t making good decisions. Who would’ve? I was seeking comfort in the arms of the man protecting me. It’s a simple mistake. Any movie will tell you how completely normal that is.
“Sorry. I’m stressed.” I glance at her for a minute and look away again.
“About what? You’re being so weird.”
I drag in a deep breath and busy myself with spreading hay in the enclosure. Maddox is dropping the goats off this afternoon, so I need to be ready. “I am being weird. I know. I need a nap or something. I need to sleep for like a month, maybe two.”
“You’re not thinking about moving again, are you?”
No, I’m thinking about your ex-boyfriend and all the dirty shit I want him to do to me.
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s weird being here now. I can’t even sleep without hearing that bullet hit the window or thinking about the dead body that was only fifty feet from my trailer.”
“It was for a good cause. That guy needed to die.”
“I know, but it’s like the property is haunted now or something. It’s like he’s dead but he’ll never be gone from there.”
Siren rolls her eyes. “Do some spiritual bullshit and call it a day. An asshole died and your stalker is gone. You should be celebrating.”
I’ve always admired the way that Siren can let anything roll right off her. Even murder, apparently.
“Seriously, though, you’re so lucky Ox was there. Can you imagine if that guy had come after you alone?”
I shake my head, because she’s right. I am lucky he was there, except all I’m thinking about is how he was slapping my pussy, and how I was about to come.
Who’d have thought that would be so great?
“I am lucky,” I say. “You here for the weekend again?”
“Yes.” She pinches her lips together. “I’m helping Mom with wedding plans, which is more awkward than you’d think by the way. You should come by tomorrow. We’re going dress shopping.”
“Umm… I have to wash my hair.” I grin. “Maybe you should wash yours too. It’s looking pretty greasy.”
“Please! Can I skip out like you? I’d rather chew my foot off than keep going back. She’s driving me crazy. But you know me, please your mother at all costs.”
I pinch my brows together. “Is that you? I thought that was me. You’re the defiant one.”
Her eyes roll in a circle and her hand lands on her hip. “Oh, please… I’ve been vying for these people’s approval my whole life.”
“These people?” I laugh.
“Yes, these people, because clearly, we’re adopted. Well, I am. You could pass for Dad’s kid. You two love the same hippy, dippy, bullshit.”
I smack her arm playfully. “Hey!”
“What? It’s not an insult to say you’re like your father. You love him, right?”
I shake my head and bite back a grin as I lock up the door and head out into the parking lot, my sister close behind. “I’ll think about tomorrow. Text you later?”
She kisses my forehead. “Text ya later. Love you.”
“Love you, too!”
Usually, I see Maddox pulling up with the goats this time of night, but maybe he’s bringing them by in the morning. Either way, the hay is ready. I climb down into my car, roll down the window, and take off, driving up the long forest road toward my trailer. The further I climb, the cleaner the air gets, and soon I’m sucking in the scent of pine, sunflowers, and daisies.
It’s late in the day and the sun would be in my eyes if it weren’t for the cedar that blocks it from view.
Reaching toward the radio dial, I twist until the music is nearly as loud as it will go. It’s an attempt to drown out the thoughts that won’t leave my head, but it’s not working. It hasn’t worked. Every hour of every day for the past two weeks, I’ve thought about Ox.
His rough hands on my skin. His deep voice in my ear. The way he spoke and commanded me. The way he took charge of my body. The way his massive frame dwarfed me like a tiny little bug. The way he called me little one.
My heart jumps and beats heavily in my chest. What’s happening? I can’t breathe.
I attempt to sing the song that’s blaring, but tears roll down my face.
It was one night. I spent one night with this guy. I shouldn’t feel anything. I shouldn’t have felt anything.
Rain patters against the windshield as my trailer comes into view. Outside, there’s a truck parked with black tinted windows and a man stands leaned against the door.
My stomach squeezes and my heart stops . It’s Ox.
I drag in a heaping of air and stare at him with tears in my eyes. I asked him to leave. I told him we couldn’t do this, that we shouldn’t do this.
But now that he’s here, my body needs him. I’m aching everywhere and I know he’s the cure.
I step out of my car and stand in the rain, staring toward him. Water soaks my hair and the wind bites against my bare shoulders.
What’s happening?
He’s wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that’s been soaked with rain. He steps forward and rubs his palms together. His tone is dark and rough as he says, “I miss you.”
I like the way it sounds, but I play dumb for no better reason than I’m scared to feel things for him.
“We agreed that this was crazy.” I tilt my head to the side and stare at him in the pouring rain. “Siren is my sister. You’re her ex. I can’t complicate her life like that.”
“So, we don’t. We see each other like this. She’s got her own life, little one. We don’t have to—”
“Don’t call me little one.” The words beat and thrum at my clit the second they leave his lips. It’s torture and I can’t take it.
He steps closer, pushing his soaked hair from his vision. “I could meet a thousand women and none of them would be you.”
“You’re full of shit!” I cry. “We spent one night together. You don’t know me.”
“Tell me you don’t feel what I’m feeling, and I’ll walk away.”
I roll my eyes and stare down at the spongy gravel beneath me. My mind is reeling, and my heart is pounding.
I want to leap into his arms and let him carry me away, but deep down, I know what a mess that would create. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shrugs. “Then tell me you don’t feel it. Say it, and I’ll walk.”
“Stop!” I scream.
He steps closer, thunder rolling in the distance. “Do you think this comes around every day? Be honest with yourself.”
I know this doesn’t come around every day. It hasn’t come once in all my life. Ox is the first guy I’ve met in twenty-four years that I could see living a life with, but it’s selfish of me to feel the way I feel.
I shake my head. “You don’t know me, Ox. You think you do, but you don’t. And really, I don’t know you. You killed a man right next to my house. You’re… you’re not like me.”
“I was looking out for you.” He groans as he says, “I’m not going to apologize for killing a man who murdered a young girl and tried to do the same to you. That man can rot in hell for all I care.”
I don’t disagree with him. In fact, I love that he didn’t question his decision. I love that he did what he had to for that girl, for her family, for me. It was brave. He’s brave.
He leans in and grips my jaw with his hand, redirecting my gaze toward his. “You know I’d never hurt you.”
Tears stream down my face. I’m not sure why they’re falling other than the fact that I’m overwhelmed. “I know that, Ox, but who are you?”
He looks away, wiping the rain off his salty beard. “I’m just a guy standing here in the pouring rain, desperate for a chance with you.”
“Why me?”
“Because you challenge me. Because when you look at me, you see something I can’t see.”
“What?”
“A family, little one. A fucking family. A life. A purpose. I want that with you!” His words come out in a growl of emotion that sweeps over me like a storm.
He’s right. I see a man I wanted babies with. A man I want sitting next to me at church. A man I want to be held by. A man I want to feel safe with.
“And what about Siren? Do I just ignore the fact that she’ll fall apart when she finds out?”
He pulls me against his chest and holds me close. “We can figure that out when the time comes. Until then, we go slow and make this real.”
A cold wind blows heavily with the rain, and time slows to a screeching halt.
Ox cups my face in his hand and stares down at me with love in his eyes. “The second I saw you, I knew you were the one. I knew I had to protect you from everyone and everything. When you asked me to leave, I left, but I didn’t want to. Every second of the past two weeks, I’ve thought about you and imagined you next to me. I couldn’t take it anymore.” He pushes back my soaking hair. “I’m not leaving, little one. You don’t want me in the house, fine. I’ll sleep in the truck and piss in the woods. But this, with us , it’s real and I’m not giving up on it.”
Swallowing hard, I stare up at the man in the drenched t-shirt and decide once and for all to let go.
I tip up onto my toes and lean against his lips, kissing him with wild fervor until his tongue is wrapped around mine and his hands are exploring me in the wet, pouring rain.
He leans me back against the side of his truck and blocks me in. “Tell me you need this as badly as I do.”
I blink up at him, wicking away heavy drops of water. “You’re all I thought about. I hated every minute you were gone. My body ached for you, Ox.”
“Then say it. Tell me you need me. I need to hear you say it.”
My clit thrums and my panties soak with desire. “I need you. I need you to touch me like you did, talk to me like you did, hold me like you did.”
“I didn’t scare you?”
I shake my head. “God, no! I loved it!”
He grips my face in his massive hand and sinks into my lips, massaging his tongue against mine as though he’s been starved for too long.
My heart beats harder and harder, and there’s an ache between my legs that needs to be erased.
Ox bends and lifts me into his arms, carrying me toward the trailer, and though I know what we’re about to do will be complicated, I can’t see any way around it.
This big, tall, inked brute is mine and I can’t wait for him to make me his.