37. Tatiana
37
TATIANA
“ I love you, Tatiana,” Lucian murmurs against my lips. “God, I love you so much it hurts.”
“I love you too,” I breathe. Every time I say it, it feels more true. I’m crazy about Lucian, and it feels so good to finally have that off my chest.
I’ve felt so guilty about being attracted to him, so conflicted about finding good things about him, that I’ve tangled myself up in knots trying to avoid the truth. And now that it’s all out there, I feel like I can finally breathe.
“We’re going to have a baby,” he says, his hazel eyes brilliant with anticipation.
“We’re having a baby!” I squeal, suddenly giddy with excitement. God, it feels good. I never knew how much I could want to be a mom, but now that I’m going to be, I am so intensely grateful for the opportunity.
Leaning into Lucian’s chest, I kiss him again, then I pull back abruptly.
“Something wrong?” he asks, his arm tightening around my waist, like he’s waiting for me to come back to reality and bolt.
“No, just…Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he promises, his lips curving into a smile.
“You didn’t seem all that surprised when I told you I was pregnant.”
Lucian chuckles, the low, rumbling sound releasing butterflies in my stomach. “Well, we have had an inordinate amount of sex since we got married,” he points out, but then his expression turns repentant. “But I have actually known since the doc came to check on you after you got knocked out.”
His palm cradles the bruised cheek that’s nearly back to its normal color now, and I lean into the touch automatically.
“If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Well.” Lucian’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, pain and loss flashing across his face for just a moment. “After that, I found the pregnancy test in the trash, so I could only assume you already knew and decided not to tell me.”
My stomach knots, and I can feel the blood draining from my face as I realize I completely forgot to dispose of the test like I had intended to. Then hot embarrassment creeps into my cheeks. “That’s why you’ve been so distant,” I breathe.
Lucian’s eyes drop to the collar of his oversized T-shirt I’m wearing, and he reaches out to run his finger along my throat right at the edge of the fabric. The seemingly innocuous touch sends a shiver down my spine, and my nipples harden, puckering the fabric.
“I thought you intended to run.”
“So you pushed me away?” I ask, my brows pressing together.
Lucian nods. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. And I hoped…if I let you go, we could at least come to some kind of an agreement. I didn’t want you to take my child from me, and I thought that might be your intention when you continued to keep it a secret.”
It scares me how close he is to the truth—and that I ever thought of trying to raise my child without Lucian in its life. I can hear the pain in his voice. He truly wants this baby, just like I do.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, shifting to straddle Lucian’s lap as I comb the soft, dark hair back from his face.
Lucian shakes his head. “I’m sorry too. I’m the reason you didn’t feel safe telling me. I’ve gone about this all wrong.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I assure him, looking deep into his eyes. “It’s all in the past.”
“I swear, I’ll never give you reason to doubt me again,” he murmurs, his hands soft and warm as they slide beneath my shirt to travel up my back.
I lean into him, my breath quickening. “I know.”
Our lips meet in a soft, sensual kiss that makes my heart pound. I can feel the love radiating between us, the deep understanding and appreciation, and it brings a peace to my soul I’ve never experienced before. I spent so long fighting the man I love. And now that I’m done fighting, I can’t imagine my life without him.
When I’m with Lucian, everything feels good and right. I know my father would have come around to see the good in Lucian if he’d had the chance. I’m sure my sister will, and it sends tingling anticipation through my body to know that Lucian and I will be starting a family of our own.
As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, Lucian lays me gently back on the bed to lift my shirt, and he presses kisses to my stomach in a way that tells me he’s not just showering me with affection. He’s saying hello to his child.
“You think it’s a boy or girl?” I ask softly, finger combing his hair.
He chuckles. “I think it’s too early to tell. Do you have a guess?”
“I think it’ll be a boy,” I say warmly.
Lucian’s eyes spark with satisfaction, and he starts to trail kisses lower down my abdomen. “I’ll love whoever they are regardless.”
Heat floods my veins. I know he genuinely means it. I love how much Lucian can respect me as a woman—even in a man’s world. And I have no doubt he will love any girls we have just as much as the boys.
“Lucian, what are you—” My question ends on a groan as my husband’s kisses find their way down to the apex of my thighs, and his lips brush across my sensitive clit.
“I think this evening is in need of some celebration,” he teases playfully, calling back to my efforts to get his head out of his work at dinner.
I laugh, and that tapers into a lusty moan.
His lips wrap around my clit, and electricity crackles up my spine as he brings me to life in an instant. All the lingering satisfaction from our previous time burns away as fresh desire hammers through my veins. My back arches, my fingers tightening around the roots of his hair as Lucian’s fingers press into the soft flesh of my thighs, keeping them spread. And as his tongue goes to work, I start to see stars behind my eyes.
“Oh God, that feels so good,” I whimper, my stomach trembling as I quickly climb toward release. It feels like every time Lucian makes me come, the next one hits me faster.
My body’s eager to give him what he wants, and all Lucian seems to ever crave is my pleasure. His tongue swirls around the sensitive bundle of nerves, the tip flicking across it until my hips lift off the bed. His hands are there to hold me, cradling my hips as he keeps his lips locked around my clit.
“Lucian!” I gasp, my climax hitting me like a bolt out of the blue, and arousal gushes from my entrance.
With a slow, sultry smile, Lucian lowers me back to the bed, and he crawls between my thighs to hover over me. “Tell me, principessa , what do you desire most in this world?”
My heart skips a beat at the familiarity of his words. Once upon a time, I might have told him that the only thing I wanted was to see him die, but now, nothing could be further from the truth.
“You,” I murmur, cradling the side of his head so I can bring his lips to mine.
And he kisses me with such passion, it melts my heart.
It’s funny, but despite everything I’ve been through, this is the happiest I’ve ever been. I can see my forever with Lucian, and I’m so excited to be starting a family with him. I can hardly believe I had the fortune of falling in love with my worst enemy, but as he holds me in his arms, I know that there’s nowhere in the world I would rather be.