22. The Forest is Silent
O rion still hasn’t come back.
I went to bed without him, curling up in a cot that felt strangely empty, and made myself sleep as long as I could.
But when I woke up to find him still gone, my nerves went haywire.
Hours later, and I’ve taken up pacing, staring out the warped windows to watch the tree line, listening after every branch snap, and praying the renewed storm hasn’t swallowed him whole.
I’m still furious with him, half-tempted to kick his ass when he shows up. One good knee to the balls is all I’ll need to remind him I’m not some delicate bird to cage and guard.
But every minute he’s gone, worry evaporates more of my anger. And as much as I wish those words I slung at him in the graveyard were true… I don’t hate him.
I didn’t realize, though, just how much I don’t hate him.
He’s fought for me, saved me, treated me with care and respect when I was fraying at the edges.
Not only that, but now that I’ve witnessed graves blackened from burning hate between the Wildes and Furys, I finally understand the stakes in this feud.
Which means I finally understand Orion better too.
Not the way he talked to me, obviously, because fuck him for that.
But I get his instinctual need to protect everyone he loves, the urgency running like a current under his skin.
We’re alike in that way. Bordeauxs would set the world aflame for our family.
Unlike me, though, Orion’s already had everything burn to ash once, right in front of him.
From the scars on his hands to the scorched gravestone that failed to shield his mother, I believe him when he says he’ll do anything to keep his loved ones safe.
And… I think that includes me.
What do I do with that?
Right now? Nothing. No, I’m taking the coward’s way out, falling back on my usual M.O., aka distracting myself with literally anything to avoid emotions that are too deep to wade in.
At the moment, I’m stationed right in the trajectory of one of Orion’s traps, watching the fishing line glint like spider silk in the stove grate’s firelight.
One wrong twitch and a boulder the size of my head could swing down and crush my noggin.
The adrenaline of “will it-won’t it come crashing down” is enough to keep my mind from drifting where I’m afraid to go.
Is it messed up that I’d choose potential death over figuring out how I feel about Orion?
Yes. Have I still dragged my finger over the wire like it’s Nox’s cello, wondering how much pressure it’d take to keep me from ever having to confront my feelings again?
Also yes, and I do realize that my therapy appointment truly cannot come soon enough.
Like always, though, distraction only lasts so long before anxiety pushes in.
Scattered rain dances across the tin roof, a kind of white noise that usually lulls me to sleep like a baby.
But nothing feels soothing without knowing Orion is safe, and the longer I stare into the stormy wilderness, the less safe I feel too.
Will he return before whatever thing I swear stares back finally emerges from the shadows and devours me?
Luna…
I freeze at my name on a hushed whisper, so faint I almost think I imagined it. My heart instantly hammers so loudly that I’m afraid I can’t hear if it happens again. Orion’s superstitions echo in my head, but a reality check reverberates back.
Momma has auditory hallucinations. We thought her illness was different from mine, though, and I’ve never gotten to the point of psychosis before. This can’t be psychosis. It just can’t be.
Right?
I swallow.
“Luna?”
“No,” I whisper, pressing my palms over my ears. “No, no?—”
“Lu, you in there? It’s Benoit.”
My hands peel away. I hold my breath to listen.
“Come on, Luna. It’s cold out here,” my friend grumbles.
Relief and excitement shock through me, urging me to the door to fling it open.
Benoit’s hand is frozen mid-knock. He’s soaked to the bone in a jacket, green tee, and black cargo pants, his black hair plastered to his forehead. But that lopsided smile I’ve known all my life is still there.
“Hiya, Lu.”
“Benny!” I half-whisper, half-squeal, leaping at him and knocking the wind out of him.
“Oof,” he laughs, catching me like always. Then he squeezes tight, saying into my hair, “Been worried about you, cher .”
Tears of relief spring to my eyes at the warm familiarity of his hug. His embrace feels like home in a way nothing else has since this nightmare began. He’s family and safety. If he’s here, my father and rescue can’t be too far behind. A few tears slip out as he lets me go and gasps.
“Holy shit, what happened to you?” He holds my hands as he steps back to look at me, brows furrowed. “You’re covered in scratches and more bruises than that time you and Lucy tried pole dancing. And your Swan Lake costume is holding on by a feather and a thread. Literally.”
I glance down at the ripped tutu and nearly-featherless bodice, then try a smirk to downplay his concern. Benoit would have a heart attack if he knew all the details.
“I’m okay. That pole hurt worse, I promise. Orion and I… took a tumble down a waterfall or two.”
“You…” His eyes bug out. “You what ?”
I wave him off. “I’ll tell you everything on the ride home. How long have you been following us? Since before the graveyard? I knew I saw something. I figured it was an animal or one of the superstitions in the woods he talks about?—”
“Wait, wait, what graveyard?”
“Whitby Rose, obviously. That’s where you found me right? You tracked us there? How did you find us? Were we loud? I tried walking quietly like Orion said, but it’s hard and?—
“Luna, slow down, will ya? It’s been a while since you’ve talked this fast. I’ve forgotten how to keep up.” He massages his temple and jerks his thumb over his shoulder.
“When a few of us shadows found the tracker from Orion’s car way down the riverbank, we spread out, with me sticking to the river.
This cabin was the first sign of humanity, and there weren’t any Deliverance banjos playing in the trees, so…
” He gives himself a flourish ending in a slight bow. “Here I am!”
“ Deliverance ? Really?” I cross my arms. “That was offensive, Benoit.”
His shoulders lift in an innocent shrug, smile mocking. “How about I stop being offensive as soon as these assholes quit fighting over you, yeah? Anyway, enough chitchat. We need to get this show on the road.”
He takes my hand, pulls his phone out with the other, and swipes until my dad’s caller ID pops up. Then he hands it to me.
“Here, call him and tell him we’re on the way.
He was on the other side of the mountain when we split up, so it’ll take him a while to come grab us.
I slid down this ravine during the storm, but if we move now, with the weather letting up again, we can maybe make it out the same way I came.
Hopefully he’ll be there by the time we get to the main road. ”
My brain takes a second to catch up. “Wait…”
“It’s not exactly a smooth trip back along the river.” He grimaces at the stormy sky. “Does it always rain this much up here?”
He tugs me forward, but I tug back. “Wait. What about Orion?”
His expression darkens. “You mean Fury? Don’t worry. He’s a dead man. Sol will start hunting him the second you call to tell him you’re safe.”
He gestures to the phone like he’ll make the call for me, but I snatch it out of his reach.
“No!”
“What the?—”
“You can’t hurt him. And we have to wait for him to come back. I don’t want to leave without him.”
The words slip out before I can stop them, and Benoit’s bewilderment and hurt register too late.
“You don’t… want to leave him? Luna, we’re here to save you,” he says slowly, the same tone he used the time I confessed to lifting a gun off a cop.
“You okay, cher ? If this is one of those I-fell-in-love-with-my-stalker Stockholm-y things, let me help you out. He kidnapped you. Killed a guy behind Masque?—”
“No, he?—”
He did that for me , hovers on my tongue, but I swallow my words this time. If anything would make Benoit think I’ve fallen for my captor, it’d be that.
Then again… did I fall for him?
Orion Fury is possessive and ruthless. But he’s also protective, thoughtful. The only times he’s ever been harsh with me is when it came to my safety.
Damn. Maybe I have been Stockholmed. Wouldn’t that be just my luck? I mean, why not add one more cherry-on-top diagnosis to my fucked-up sundae?
Except… just thinking that way makes guilt pang through my chest. Orion’s been transparent about how much he cares for me, and my own feelings are becoming just as clear.
“I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him,” I say instead, sticking with the safest truth I’ve got.
Benoit studies me, then explains firmly. “He can survive out here on his own, Lu. Furys are practically born feral.”
“I…” My chest twists. “I’m sorry. I just can’t leave yet.”
“Luna,” he groans, half-exasperation, half-plea.
“Stay,” I beg. “Please, Benny? He’ll be back any second. After you talk, you’ll see what I mean. There’s a lot you don’t know.”
I step aside, inviting him in. He hesitates at the threshold, drumming his fingers on the doorframe, lips pressed together as he thinks. After a few beats, he nods to himself and steps back to slip an orange pill bottle from his jacket.
“Your dad made sure we all carried some,” he begins carefully, but irritation stains my vision red. “This way, whoever found you would be able to help you. Maybe… maybe you could take one now before Fury gets back?”
It’s all I can do not to knock the pills out of his hand. But that sure as hell won’t help my case, so I cross my arms tight against my chest.
“I’m not out of my mind, Benoit. I know what I’m doing. Just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t mean I’m ‘ crazy .’”