Chapter 13
Ainsley
I ’m covered in sweat, irritable from everything that’s happened since yesterday, and angry at the monster for not letting me relax. Apparently, we’re going to train together every single day of my break so he’s confident I can take care of myself.
Like I wasn’t doing it for three years before I met him, or even the last three months after leaving him.
It’s almost endearing how worried he is about me, though. He could have installed a tracker on my phone instead of injecting one into my neck, but having it below my skin actually makes me feel safer. No one can take it away like they did with the necklace he gave me at the party. If I’m taken again, he’ll find me.
I can’t deny that last night was a lot to handle. The monster absolutely terrified me, and I wanted it to stop, but I trusted him. I trusted him to not push me too far, but also to punish me in a way that he could forgive me for what I’d done when he finished.
It was also liberating to see that side of him. Like he’d been hiding it from me this whole time, trying to prove he was a nice guy, but he finally just let it all out. I felt closer to the real him last night, and I hate to admit it, but it made me miss what we had. Not that I’m going to tell him that.
When I woke up from one of my nightmares in my old bed, I felt lonely. I wanted to be next to him, to feel the comfort of being in his arms and knowing I could sleep peacefully. When I climbed into his bed with him, I didn’t let myself overthink it. It was necessary for me to sleep well.
But, when I woke up with that ring on my finger…
No. I’m not thinking about that. It looked gorgeous and it fit me perfectly, but when we got out of bed, I took it off. This week won’t end with a ring on my finger.
With my thoughts distracted, the monster grabs onto my neck and slams my back into the wall, sending pain shooting through my shoulders. The letters he carved into my back are definitely more sore today than they were yesterday.
“How are you getting out of this hold, little one?”
I’ve heard the same stupid question repeatedly this morning. Each time, he puts me in a new hold and refuses to let go until I get myself out of it. There were already small bruises from where my fists flew into his hard chest yesterday, but with the amount of times I’ve head-butted him today, I won’t be surprised to find more.
His body presses against mine intimately, and with the way his eyes are eating me up through his mask, excitement shoots straight through me. I’ve already learned that flirting with him won’t work, but when he looks at me like that, I want to skip the flirting and go straight to bed.
I just need a good fuck.
Well, one where I’m allowed to come. Him withholding my orgasms is driving me absolutely insane, and it’s only been a day. If I have to make it through the entire week, I will, but I’m going to be miserable doing it.
“Should I just tell you I’d knee you in the balls really hard, or would you like to find out what they taste like?” I try to make my voice sound sweet, but some of my irritability slips in there.
He chuckles anyway as he leans into me even more. “If anyone’s tasting my balls, baby, it’s going to be you,” he whispers into my ear.
My breath catches in my throat as my clit throbs, wishing he would touch it. Even for just a second. That’s probably all I’d need right now, anyway.
When his hand slips into my pants and he runs a finger up my slit, collecting my wetness on his finger, I start to think I might actually get my wish. And when that hand slips out, and he pops his finger into his mouth under his mask, licking it clean loudly enough for me to hear, I almost melt into a puddle at his feet.
“I think someone likes that idea,” he practically growls at me, and I swear I lose it. If he lets me go right now, I’m going to have to run upstairs and change my underwear.
“I would like it a lot more if I got something out of it,” I snap at him, trying to hide how much he’s turning me on by just pressing his body against mine. How did I go weeks before giving into him last time? Maybe because I didn’t know what it would be like, and now that I do, it’s all I want.
“You know what you have to do if you want to come,” he reminds me. His stupid condition.
I get my hands between us and shove against his chest, and to my surprise, he moves back. Space. That’s what I need right now. He’s only driving me crazy because he’s so close to me.
“Let’s stop for today,” he suggests. Finally; I’m starving. It feels like we’ve been going at it all morning. Even if he didn’t decide to stop, I don’t think I would have lasted much longer. “We should get something to eat.”
He actually worked me until lunchtime. No wonder I’m so irritable. I’m angry about being here, worked up without a release, and hungry. He deserves for me to take it all out on him.
Pushing past him, I rush up the stairs, not bothering to wait for him. I need a shower, food, and a nap. And not necessarily in that order. I hear him following behind me, stomping up the steps as soon as I walk through the door, but I don’t want to pay him any attention.
“We need to talk,” he calls after me. I roll my eyes as I continue walking away from him. He can talk all he wants. That doesn’t mean I’m going to listen. “We’re going to dinner tonight.”
I stop in my tracks, nearly tripping over myself. There’s no way I just heard that right. “Dinner…?”
“As requested, I set up dinner with Ethan. Tonight at six o’clock,” he tells me. As the words leave his mouth, I twist on my heels and sprint at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as my body collides into his.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Don’t thank me yet, little one,” he says into my ear as he wraps his arms around my waist, holding me against him so I can’t pull away. “I still have rules.”
“Wear a dress you like, don’t call you the monster, listen to what you say. Got it.” Disentangling my arms from his neck, I try to pull away, but he holds me tight.
“And what are you going to call me, little one?” he whispers in my ear, his voice turning husky in anticipation.
“Nothing. I plan to ignore you the entire time,” I answer with a shrug of my shoulders. “Can I go now?”
He squeezes me tighter, making the last of my air exit my lungs forcefully. “You know how much I love a challenge.”
With that, he finally releases his hold on me. I stumble as my feet land firmly on the ground, and debate how wise it would be to make some kind of snarky remark back to him. All that would do is encourage him to keep pushing, though.
“Oh, and Ainsley?” he calls after me as I walk away from him, my mind set on food once more. “I’ll be much better behaved if you agree to marry me and wear that ring.”
“Not happening,” I call back without even stopping to think about it. He wouldn’t do anything that bad. This is his family, too. My mind flashes back to the way the ring looked on my finger this morning. The morning light made it shine so brightly that I could see every color through the diamond, and it sat on my finger perfectly. Like it was made for me.
Stop thinking about it , I chastise myself. Food, shower, and a nap. That’s all I need to think about.
“Let me clean up your back before you get dressed,” the monster says to me as I finish curling my hair. I’m standing in his bathroom in nothing more than my bra and panties, and he’s definitely enjoying the view.
I nod my head in agreement and turn the curling iron off. As he walks toward me, I lean over the counter, giving him a full view of my bandaged back. He changed the bandage this morning, but with my shower earlier, it’s peeling off at the edges. One snag on the dress I wear and it’ll rip right off.
Carefully so he doesn’t hurt me, the monster pulls the old bandage off, revealing his name carved into my back. It still aches, and the air hitting it makes the pain more prominent, but I still don’t regret it. I might have to wear clothes that’ll cover it for the rest of my life, but it was worth it.
“You know, we should probably just let it breathe now,” he tells me as I watch him admiring his handiwork through the mirror. He looks up, finding my eyes in the mirror and raises an eyebrow, expecting an answer from me. I only shake my head as a response. No way am I going to Ethan’s without this thing covered up.
The monster sighs, but he doesn’t fight me as he collects the ointment and bandages from below the sink. As he spreads the ointment over my back, his fingers leave a trail of fire in their wake. I hate the way my body reacts to his touch. All of this would be so much easier if I didn’t crave this feeling.
“Is this okay?” he asks as he sets the ointment on the counter next to me. I nod my head, letting him know that what he’s doing is fine. He checks on me too much, afraid he’s hurting me even though the worst of the pain is behind us. “After we get home tonight, I’m taking this bandage off so it can breathe.”
I nod in acknowledgment, knowing that’s the best thing to do now. “I can clean yours up, too, if you want me to,” I offer as he places the bandages across my back, covering every inch of his name. He denies me every time, saying it doesn’t need to be cleaned. Before I caught him, I’m sure he was just letting it go, and it was getting infected every time he reopened it.
He denies me this time, too, and I’m almost grateful. When he does this, the air between us becomes electrified as the universe begs us to give into each other. If I were to touch the bottom of his abs to clean him up, the night would be over before it’s even started.
“There,” he says as he places the last bandage on my back. “Go get dressed.”
He must have showered while I was napping. After I ate lunch, I came upstairs to shower and fell asleep with my hair still wet. The monster woke me up about an hour ago, telling me it was time to get ready, but he was already changed from the clothes I last saw him in.
“Do I have to try on every dress you’ve bought for me, or are you going to come tell me which one to wear?” If he’s going to be picky about my dress, we could be waiting another hour just for me to have clothes on.
“I would love a show,” he answers with a smirk as his eyes scan my body again. “But, if you’d prefer, I can show you which dress I choose.”
With a roll of my eyes, I lead us out of the bathroom and to the guest room, knowing that’s where most of my clothes still are. I certainly didn’t pack any dresses in my suitcase for a week at Ethan’s house.
The monster and I walk into the closet together, going straight for the section with too many dresses for me to ever wear them all. “What about this one?” I ask, holding out a strapless lilac sundress that covers all the way up to my neck in the back and the front. Perfect.
The monster looks it over, but shakes his head in disapproval. Great. We’re really going to play this game. “What would you like me to wear?” I ask before picking out another dress to have it denied again. Of course, this is going to be the one time he’s picky about what I wear.
Stepping out of the way, I gesture for him to take my place so he can see all the dresses. It takes approximately two seconds before he pulls out an equally cute sky blue sundress with the back open down to my mid back.
“Cute, but no,” I answer.
“This is the one I’m choosing,” he tells me with a smirk. He had this planned. When he told me he wanted to pick my dress, he knew exactly what he was doing. I just didn’t see it until right now. “Or, we could just stay home instead.”
“I’ll wear it,” I tell him with my teeth gritted. No way am I giving him the satisfaction of canceling this dinner and keeping me trapped here. Once I’ve snatched the dress off the hanger the monster is holding, I slide it over my head and let the smooth material rest against my skin. “There. Do you approve?”
“Very much,” he answers, the look in his eyes telling me just how hungry he is for more than dinner. “One more thing.”
He walks out of the closet without giving me any direction, so after a minute I follow him. When I find him, he’s digging through the nightstand drawer in his bedroom. “We don’t have time for that right now,” I remind him, looking at the clock. We have half an hour to get to Ethan’s house.
“Come here, little one,” he commands me as he stands straight up, holding something in his hand. Thinking through each step I take, I walk toward him until we’re standing toe to toe. “Bend over the bed.”
“We really don’t -”
“It’s not what you’re thinking,” he cuts me off. “Well, not entirely. Just bend over, Ainsley.”
I hate that his commands make me crumble. No matter how much I want to, I just can’t say no to him when he gets bossy in bed. With a huff to make sure he knows just how much I disapprove, I bend over the bed, leaving my feet on the floor so my butt is sticking straight out.
“Good girl,” he praises as he raises my dress up. If I wasn’t already on the bed, I can guarantee my knees would have given out on me at the sound of his praise.
His foot pushes between mine, kicking them apart so I’m forced to spread my legs for him. If this isn’t what I’m thinking it is, then he’s not trying very hard to make it seem like something else. When he pushes my panties to the side, revealing my pussy to him, I shiver as I feel his eyes rake over me.
“Open your mouth,” he commands, and I obey. Something unfamiliar enters between my parted lips, pushing deep into my mouth. “Lick it. Get it nice and wet.”
Again, I obey, and once he feels like I’ve done my job, he pulls the foreign object out of my mouth. “What was that?” I ask.
“Relax for me, baby,” he whispers as his fingers brush against the heated skin between my legs. When my muscles relax, something pushes inside of me, filling me more than I was expecting. Not as much as the monster fills me, but definitely enough for me to notice. When the toy is fully seated inside of me and something is resting against my clit, his hand pulls away and puts my panties back in their place. “Stand up.”
When I do, my dress falls back into place, covering me from the cold air hitting my backside.
“How does that feel?”
I shift on my feet, testing out the feeling inside of me, but it surprisingly doesn’t bother me. “Not bad. It’s just… there. What is it?”
With a smirk that tells me he’s up to no good, he fiddles with something in his hand, and that’s when I feel it. A strong vibration, right between my legs. It’s deep enough inside me to be hitting my most sensitive spot, while also resting against my clit and driving me instantly crazy.
“Oh, fuck,” I cry out as I stagger, grabbing onto the arm he thrusts out to me. He pulls me into him so my hands flatten against his chest, and leans down to say something into my ear as the vibration between my legs stops.
“Just remember, baby. All you have to do is say my name.”
This is going to be torture.