Chapter 26
Ainsley
M y heavy sigh fills the car as trees fly by outside, each one marking the distance away from the one place I want to be.
“My offer still stands, little one. Come live with me, and we won’t have to be apart. I could come visit you throughout the day, or stay with you on days I don’t need to go to the compound. You would be much safer, too,” Cain points out. His fingers lace through mine as he tries to convince me, but my mind is already made up.
It’s a hard choice, especially after the last few days. Cain has pampered me, treating me the way I’ve always dreamed of while fucking me so much I forgot what it was like to not be satisfied. I’ve screamed his name so much since I gave in that I can never imagine him as the monster again.
When we weren’t defiling every surface of the house, he kept training me, though he was much gentler with me. He’s too afraid of hurting me while my head is still healing, not that I can blame him, but going soft on me doesn’t teach me anything.
I want to stay with him. I want to wake up in the morning and start our days together, have him come home to me every day, and fall asleep in each other’s arms each night. We’ll still get to do that with our compromise, but spending the entire day away from each other is going to hurt more than either of us is prepared for.
But, this semester will be over in two months, and then we’ll have the entire summer together before we do it all over again. We’ve survived much worse than a few hours a day away from each other.
“I’ll have Jonah to keep me safe,” I remind him as I keep my eyes focused on the trees flying by outside. The truth is, I’m terrified that being away from Cain will make his father try something. He’ll see our separation as an opportunity, but I can’t tell Cain that. I trust Jonah to take care of me, and Cain will spend his days tracking down his father. “What’s really bothering you?”
Turning away from the window, I focus on his troubled features. Even being tortured by his own thoughts, he’s gorgeous. The sunlight streams in through the windshield, lighting up his face and making his dark hair shimmer.
“It was only a week ago that some other guy tried to claim you because he didn’t know you belonged to me,” he finally grits out through his teeth. I can’t even be mad that those are the thoughts running through his head. I brought Owen back to my apartment hoping Cain was watching, and he was. It’s my fault my actions hurt him.
“Your name is carved into my back, Cain. There’s no mistaking who I belong to now,” I remind him, trying to bring him some comfort.
“I’d feel a lot better if you were wearing my ring.”
His eyes leave the road for a split second to meet mine, showing me the sincerity in his. When he looks away again, I chew on my lip, thinking about how to answer him. Would it really be the worst thing if I gave in to this, too?
“What would you do if I said yes? Would you turn us back around, just so you could go get the ring and put it on my finger?” It’s a challenge. We both know if we go back to that house, we wouldn’t be leaving right after getting the ring.
I watch a smirk form on his lips as he unlaces our fingers to dig in his pocket. When he pulls out a small box I recognize too well, I can’t help it as my eyes roll into my head. Of course, he would be the guy to have it on him, just in case.
“Really?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow to tease him.
“You can’t hold out on me forever,” he points out. “I’m just prepared for the day you inevitably give in.”
Laughter fills the car, but it takes a minute for me to realize it’s mine. Cain shoots a deadly glare at me, but from the smirk still threatening to spread across his lips, I know I’m not in too much trouble.
“Are you laughing at me, little one?”
I shake my head as I try to push the laughter down, but every few minutes, a little giggle slips through. Each time one does, he shoots me another look, only to find me hiding a smile behind my hand.
“Are you sure you want to go back?” Cain asks again, back to being serious as he grabs for my hand again. He’s asking like we’re not five minutes away from my apartment, but I know if I told him I changed my mind, he would turn the car around without another word.
“What time will you be back tonight?” I ask instead of answering. I’m not so sure about going back, but I am sure that there’s something I need to do today. Changing the subject keeps me from lying to him while also giving me a timeframe for my little plan.
“I should be back no later than ten o’clock,” he answers. I look at the clock, seeing that it’s only three o’clock. That’s seven more hours until I get to see him again.
It’s plenty of time for me to do what needs to be done, and maybe even enough time to spend time with the girls when they get back. But, I already know that each hour is going to drag until he finally comes back.
Cain parks in front of my apartment building before I’m ready for our drive to be over. Students are unpacking their cars from their week away, while others are meeting up with friends and driving away.
While I’m watching everyone else, Cain gets out of the car and comes around to my side to open the door for me. “Are you missing me already, little one?”
I snap out of my thoughts and come back to the here and now, realizing I’m about to say goodbye to him. With my eyes, I tell him just how much I don’t want to do this, but I don’t speak the words out loud. I shouldn’t be feeling like this after only a week of being with him, but it’s been so much more than a week.
It’s been months of trying to forget his voice, his touch, the way I feel when I’m around him. Now that I have all of that back, I don’t want to let go.
Cain grabs my suitcase out of the back and together we walk up the steps until we stop in front of my door. “I’m only a phone call away, Ainsley. Call me and I’ll come running, okay?”
I nod my head while straightening my spine. While I’m glad to have the option to call him, even just to hear his calming voice, I won’t do it. The first inkling he gets that I’m unhappy with being at school, he’ll pull me out without my consent. It wouldn’t matter if I still wanted to try, because he would leap at the opportunity to have me back at the house, especially if he thought it would make me happier.
Cain leans forward and plants a kiss against my forehead. “Behave, little one. Try not to get into too much trouble before I come back.”
Jonah comes up the stairs as Cain speaks, but neither of us pay him any attention. He does his job and stays back to survey our surroundings, making sure there’s not a threat in sight.
Cain leans down to press a kiss against my lips, a possessive kiss that shows anyone watching that I belong to him. It’s as if he knows what I have planned while he’s gone and he’s trying to leave his mark on me.
I return the kiss wholeheartedly, telling him without words that I’ll never belong to anyone else.
He pulls away too soon, leaving me wanting more, but it’s time for him to go. He has work to do, and so do I.
“I’ll see you soon, little one,” he promises. He opens up my apartment door for me and watches as I disappear inside. After pulling it closed, I hear him say, “I’m trusting you with her life. Take care of her.”
His words make me choke down tears. I’ll never fully understand what Cain is going through right now, knowing that giving me this choice could lead to me being taken again. He’s doing it to make me happy and trusting someone else with my safety.
As his footsteps pound down the steps, I push those thoughts out of my head and pull my phone out of my pocket.
ME: Come over. We need to talk.
As I stand before the door that shook from a pounding fist only a moment ago, I pull a deep, calming breath into my lungs. Though I’m the one that told him to come over, I’m still nervous. We’ve had our fights before, and we’ve overcome them, but it was never this bad.
Once my nerves are as calm as they’re going to get, I straighten my spine and pull the door open. His chin is tucked into his chest as he stares at the floor, either too afraid or too ashamed to look at me, looking like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Ethan,” I breathe, no longer nervous to see him. He’s my best friend, after all, regardless of a crush he may have on me. I grab his arm and pull him into the apartment, but before I close the door, Jonah makes eye contact with me. He raises an eyebrow, the meaning clear. “Keep this between us, okay? He doesn’t need to know.”
He releases a sigh as I push the door closed, but I know I can trust him with my little secret. After all, he’ll get in just as much trouble as I would for letting Ethan step into the apartment.
I drag Ethan back to my bedroom, wanting some privacy. The girls came home shortly after I did, so the apartment is full of the gleeful sounds of unpacking and dancing around rooms.
As soon as my bedroom door closes, Ethan takes his opportunity to defend himself. “Ains -”
I interrupt him, not wanting to hear excuses. “Is it true?”
The question has been nagging me, sticking in the back of my mind like a headache that refuses to go away. If it is, I don’t know what I’m going to do about it, but I can’t just let it go now that it’s been thrown out there.
Ethan collapses on my bed and folds his hands between his knees as his head hangs down, looking at the floor again. He doesn’t ask me to clarify what’s true. We’ve known each other long enough to read each other’s minds, which concerns me. If I really knew him, how did I miss something so big?
“Yes,” he answers sheepishly. Silence stretches between us as he raises his head and looks me directly in the eye. There’s no shame in his answer. No guilt, or regret, just a plea for me to listen to him.
“It started so slowly I didn’t even notice. You were always my best friend, the girl I could be myself around. And I knew you were off limits. I’d been watching you for him for years, but one day, I started seeing why . One day, you weren’t just the girl that played with me on the playground, you were this beautiful, intriguing woman that knew me better than anyone else. Last semester, when he decided it was time to take you, that’s when I realized you were more than my best friend.”
I keep my expression blank as I try to process his words. Here’s my best friend, sitting in front of me and professing his love for me with no shame or worry of rejection. He knows we’ll never be more than friends, yet he still has the courage to tell me all of this.
“You pushed me to be with him,” I remind him. Last semester, when he came to visit me in captivity, he was the reason I finally gave into Cain. He told me his story, told me it was okay to love him. If it weren’t for him, I could have stayed stubborn until Cain tired of me.
“I never planned for my secret to come out,” he points out, reminding me it wasn’t him that told me. “I knew it would be foolish to chase after you, knowing he wanted you. It was a fight I would never win, so I kept the secret to myself and did what it took to make you happy.”
What it took to make me happy? I was happy before Cain came into my life. Could I have been happy if he came into my life and I walked away? If I had never given into him, never seen him as the man instead of the monster, maybe I could have. But, knowing what I know now, I never could have experienced this level of happiness with anyone else.
“I’ve watched you these last few months, Ains. You’re a shell of a person without him, even if you tried to hide it. You need him as much as he needs you. I wasn’t about to ruin that because I have a little crush.”
Confused by the thoughts running through my head, I collapse on the bed next to him and rest my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around my shoulder, comforting me while I try to make sense of everything. What if he had told me how he felt in the months when Cain was the monster again?
None of that matters now, though. I’m happy with Cain, and I don’t need to worry about what could have happened, because I don’t want to imagine myself with anyone else.
“Let’s just forget this happened,” Ethan suggests, trying to lighten the mood.
“I don’t want to forget,” I tell him honestly. This may change things between us, but he’s still my best friend. While I may not love him in the same way that he loves me, I do still love him. He’s been my person my entire life. The boy that grew up with me, watched me get my heart broken, and held me through the thunderstorms. “It doesn’t need to change anything between us, but I don’t want to forget.”
Ethan sighs as he holds me. “You’ll always be my best friend, you know that, right?”
His words should be comforting, but they bring a frown to my lips instead. “Even when you call me a cheap whore?”
Ethan stiffens under my head as his heart pounds against his chest. He’s probably fuming, but I can’t see his face, and I don’t want to right now. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was just so angry. Cain was acting like you were his property all night, and then he came inside with nothing but excuses after we could clearly hear what he did to you outside, and I snapped.”
Silence hangs between us as he focuses on his breathing, trying to calm himself down before he snaps all over again. This is a side of Ethan I’ve never seen before. He’s always been the soft, kind guy. Never the guy that flings insults and wants to fight someone for me.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, right? I meant it as an insult to him, not to you. You deserved better than what he gave you that night. Outside, against the dirty house? Not to mention, we were in the middle of a family dinner. Couldn’t he wait until dinner was over and he could get you home?”
A panicked chuckle slips through my lips at his question. Ethan doesn’t know what actually happened that night. He doesn’t know that Cain was torturing me throughout the dinner, or that he crashed through my walls and made me fall in love with him all over again. He has no idea that what happened against his house was the climax to a three month long fight.
“Cain does what he wants,” I remind Ethan. After kidnapping me, holding me hostage, and killing people for me, claiming me against a house sounds like child’s play. “Can you trust me to handle him? If he does something I don’t want, know that I’ll stop him, okay? He would never do anything to hurt me, you know that.”
Ethan sighs before leaning over to plant a kiss on the top of my head. When his lips pull away, they’re replaced by his cheek as he rests his head against mine and cuddles me closer to his side.
“You just let me know if I ever need to beat some sense into him.”
We both laugh at that, knowing that Ethan would never stand a chance against Cain. It’s terrifying knowing that I’m on my own with Cain, but I trust him with my whole heart. If it comes down to it, I could beat some sense into him myself.