Chapter 24
The following morning Sophia reluctantly opened her eyes, as thoughts of the poetry recital came flooding back to her, and she turned over quickly trying to rid herself of them.
Especially the worst parts of the evening when some of the ladies had obviously shunned her, but maybe they were right.
She was a servant now. Nothing more. Irrespective of Lady Cynthia's kindness she had no right to tell them what a mere ladies' companion thought about love, and romance.
It had to stop, she said to herself sternly, whilst she hid her face under the pillow in shame.
However it wasn't long before the touch of Ned's hand, and the way he had tried to save her from the vile comments and looks came back to her.
Nevertheless it had been closely followed by his betrayal in what could only be deemed as a courtship of Lady Lucy.
It was the final straw! Sophia felt exhausted, and utterly miserable.
Also on the verge of a headache, after barely sleeping a wink again last night.
Until she realised, as she lay safely under the covers of her soft bed, that she had actually done something new which she never once thought she would.
Reading her poetry aloud to an audience had been a different sort of adventure.
Despite the poor response it had received from some quarters.
Maybe she ought instead to think of her situation as an achievement.
After all she did have a mind of her own, and it was hers to use whatever her current position in society.
Although it seemed like a lifetime ago she had also once upon a time been a debutante, who was presented to Queen Charlotte.
From the little she knew about it, the other bluestockings were sometimes treated with disapproval, because of the belief that it wasn't ladylike behaviour to read and write books.
A thought that made her feel a lot better.
Except for Ned's behaviour things weren't actually as bad as she had thought, but her heart sank again when an image of his face close to Lady Lucy's came to mind.
After what he had done, she wasn't sure if she could face him today or indeed wished to.
He had betrayed, and hurt her feelings for him. It really was too much to bear.
However the longer she lay in bed Sophia eventually came to the conclusion that she didn't have any choice in the matter, but to carry on.
She was at Carlfield under false pretences after fleeing London to avoid a loveless marriage which no one else here knew about.
She had to remember that, and keep herself safe by not upsetting her employer.
When Lady Cynthia was so keen that she should share her poetry with others, regardless of how standing up in front of an audience might make her feel.
No! The only option she had was to do her best to appear as if none of this mattered to her.
Ignoring her true feelings for Ned. Irrespective of how difficult it was going to be to keep them hidden, if she was obliged to look at him as a matter of courtesy.
Sophia threw back the covers, and got out of bed.
Concentrating on getting dressed quickly she was soon downstairs in the hall, and on her way to the back of the house.
Intending to go to the rose garden where she would at least feel closer to her own mama.
When she heard one of the housemaids running after her, calling her name.
Although it was unusual, Lady Cynthia had also awoken early.
She was apparently in a state of excitement, according to the maid, and wished to speak to Sophia as soon as possible.
By now the servants were well aware of her habit of walking in the garden before breakfast, and the maid was pleased to have caught her before she left the house.
Being reluctant to walk any distance, since she had other duties to attend to.
Sophia made her way quickly to the drawing room where the Duchess had decided to have her morning tea.
Enjoying the view from the window across the lawn, and down to the lake.
Cynthia smiled at her, as soon as she walked through the door.
"I can't get over my excitement at how wonderful your reading was last night," she said, flapping her hand at the teapot and an extra cup on the side table.
Intending that Sophia should pour herself some tea, and sit with her.
"I have the most wonderful news for you!
" She said, brightly. "One of my closest friends was also very impressed by your verse.
Despite its brevity, Lady Moreton was sufficiently intrigued by the words to want to hear more, and sent an urgent message to me this morning.
Saying that she had written it as soon as she opened her eyes.
Being in the same state of excitement as myself, she couldn't wait to tell me what she had decided must be done. "
Lady Cynthia paused to catch her breath, before she announced that her dear friend wished to publish a small volume of Sophia's best work, which she would like sent to her without delay.
Giving her the opportunity to decide which lines ought to be included, and of course, to check that they were of a comparable standard to the ones she had heard.
Which naturally they would be the Duchess had enthused, clapping her hands in delight.
Sophia couldn't help staring at her with wide eyes.
Unable to believe at first that she was the recipient of such good fortune.
"Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Lady Cynthia.
I never expected anything like this would happen.
It's wonderful, but I am worried that my words won't be sufficiently well written for publication," she couldn't help adding, as she sat down with her tea.
The Duchess ignored her concerns with a wave of her hand, and carried on sipping from her own cup.
"I never once imagined that my poems would be in a book, going to be read by other people," she said, shaking her head in amazement. Also that someone else whom she didn't know seemed to have faith in her abilities as a poet.
What she didn't realise was that the Duchess had actually spoken to Lady Moreton last night, when Sophia was otherwise engaged, and asked if she would be able to persuade her husband to help.
Both of them being of the same mind that it was vital to manage the gentlemen in their lives whenever they needed to.
Furthermore, the behaviour of some of the ladies of the ton was on occasions most unacceptable, if not appalling.
As it had been at Cynthia's literary evening.
Lady Moreton was intrigued by her old friend's request, and readily agreed.
She had genuinely enjoyed listening to Sophia's verse which she thought she had read admirably, and would have liked to hear more of it.
The matter had been progressed by her during the carriage ride home with Lord Moreton, and later, when they retired to their bedchamber.
Until Lady Moreton had secured a promise from him that he would indeed be prepared to make his printing press available for a small volume of work by Miss Sophia Barlow.
Although he did have to add a caveat regarding the other poems submitted by her being of a similar quality and which, in his wife's words, would of course be the case.
"I understand completely that this is a lot for you to take in, Sophia, and you will of course have plenty of time to think about it," the Duchess said, putting her cup on the table and standing up.
"We can talk more later, and if you have any ideas by then of the other poems you would like to include in your book.
However I must leave you now, my dear, to enjoy your tea.
I have a meeting with the housekeeper to discuss the final preparations for the soiree this evening. "
Sophia thanked the Duchess again for her kindness.
Deciding to drink the hot tea as quickly as she could, before making her way to the garden as she had originally intended.
It would be possible for her to think about everything on the way there, and allow the shock of what had happened to settle.
She was about to leave the room when Jenkins stepped inside, holding a highly polished silver tray.
She couldn’t help smiling when she saw the sealed letter on it which was addressed to her, and that it really was from Hannah as she hoped it might be.
She recognised her handwriting immediately.
Despite a pressing need to learn what had been happening in London, Sophia decided to postpone the pleasure of reading it until she was seated comfortably on her favourite bench in the rose garden.
Anxious too that if she remained in the drawing room Lady Cynthia, or even Ned, might disturb her.
Either of them could easily ask about her correspondent, or for further details of Hannah 's background, which she had so far been able to avoid revealing.
Nevertheless, Sophia was in for another surprise.
The contents of the letter weren't as she had expected.
She felt her stomach twisting into knots when she tore it open as soon as she had sat down on the bench, and began eagerly to read the few lines inside.
Hannah told her in the first line that Lucas was furious about her disappearance.
Even worse than that, Owen had also said he intended to stop at nothing until he had tracked her down.
Hannah was relieved, and delighted to learn from her letter that Sophia had arrived safely in Yorkshire and all was well.
In the circumstances however Owen believed that the best and safest option would be for them not to correspond with each other, at least for the time being, and Hannah wished to abide by his opinion.
Sophia had to summon all of her willpower not to burst into tears when she had finished reading the letter for the second time.
Making certain she hadn't missed anything important in her haste to read it immediately.
She couldn't help feeling abandoned by her brother, and best friend.
It took her a few minutes to appreciate that they had only said it wouldn't be advisable for them to write to each other, to keep her safe.
It would be easy enough for someone like Lucas to intercept their letters, and discover her whereabouts from them.
The added realisation then, that everything she had grown to love in the last few weeks might soon be taken from her, was unbearable.
Sophia truly believed in that particular moment that she might never see Ned again, or Lady Cynthia.
After possibly being forcibly removed from Carlfield house by her older brother.
Her whole world felt as if it was falling down around her.