Chapter Eleven
The puddle beneath him rippled as Kyrie patted it with his paw.
He didn’t want to think. He wanted to wolf.
Just wolf. His sanity demanded he cling to his animal side and do the simple animal things.
No drama or heartache. Just play in nature and pretend his shattered heart wouldn’t kill him.
He could chase bugs and eat rabbits. A shudder ran through Kyrie.
Maybe he could lead the way into wolf vegetarianism.
He felt sick at just the idea of a tiny life burning out in his mouth.
In the human world, he could pretend all his meat came from the Acme factory as it was cooked to a safe temperature.
Kyrie had never been a very good wild animal.
He had never been very good at anything.
The grass rustled next to him. Kyrie didn’t even bother to look.
Nothing could happen to him that hadn’t been done before.
He was too tired to care. The hairy legs of a bear appeared beside him before turning into the hairy legs of a man.
Strong fingers ran through his fur. Kyrie closed his eyes and fought not to cry.
He was wrong. One thing hadn’t been done to him.
He hadn’t been comforted. Kyrie wasn’t sure he didn’t prefer the torture.
“My pack rejected me when I fell in love with Leif.”
Kyrie didn’t open his eyes, but he shuffled a little closer.
Aspen kept petting him. His voice sounded like his mind was far away.
“I don’t think he ever truly grasped how much I sacrificed for him.
Vampires don’t feel the same sense of community as Weres.
Maybe they form their own pack or team, but it’s not the same.
They don’t lean on each other the way animal packs do.
Not that any of this matters now. Nothing has for a long time.
I don’t really know what I’m getting at.
Do you want to run away with me? I don’t really have anyone or anything holding me anywhere anymore. ”
The first tear fell. Kyrie honestly couldn’t recall the last time he cried without shame tainting every tear, and—oddly—the tears weren’t for him. They were for the shattered heart and spirit behind each word Aspen spoke.
Kyrie tilted his head so he could see Aspen’s face. He’s a fool.
A small smile played on Aspen’s lips. “Why am I not the least bit surprised you can do that? You practically glow with power.”
Kyrie no longer cared what happened to him. It didn’t matter if the whole world knew him. I’m not special. It’s a curse to hear everyone.
Aspen nodded. “I imagine it is. As much as I’ve prayed and begged the gods for Leif to be my true mate, I’m a little grateful I can’t hear him. It’s bad enough to know he hates me. If I had to hear how deeply that loathing runs, who knows what I might do?”
You’d lie here and smack puddles the way I am because the knowing fucking breaks you.
Aspen took an audibly deep breath.
Kyrie didn’t force Aspen to come up with some bullshit placations. Where should we go?
Aspen chuckled. “As far as we can drive on two hundred bucks and an old, beat-up pickup truck, I suppose.”
A hint of life returned. He could help Aspen. Maybe he still had some purpose. I could take you to Leif and you could bite him.
“I have no clue where to even look.”
Hold on a second. Kyrie shifted and settled deeper into the grass.
He whisper-barked into the weeds, calling on the fairies for help.
He would owe them a favor, but if Aspen found the happiness Kyrie never would, then it was worth it.
Tiny voices only he could hear filled his ears. Kyrie whispered back his thanks.
Leif is camping one town over, fishing and reconnecting with nature.
“Reconnecting with nature?”
Yeah. I don’t know. Fairies can be kind of dreamy and poetic.
“You were talking to fairies.”
You can too. They’re all over this forest. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they can’t see you.
Aspen looked horrified. “That’s actually a bit disturbing. I’ve spent a lot of time as an animal the last few months. They see everything?”
Yeah. They don’t give a shit what you’re doing.
They’re too busy fucking. The more Kyrie spoke, the better he felt.
A simple conversation about nothing felt normal in a way nothing had in a long time.
He turned human and sat back on his heels.
“Seriously. I can take you to Leif. It might not make any difference, but I’m actually more powerful than him.
I’m not hiding my powers anymore, since I don’t really care if they catch anyone’s attention who might kill me.
I could hold him in place while you whale on him. ”
Aspen laughed. His smile brightened Kyrie’s mood. “I’m not sure that would make any difference.” He paused. His smile turned genuine as he held Kyrie’s stare. “I’d honestly love to get out of this town, though. The knowing and judgmental eyes are crushing me.”
Kyrie nodded. “It hurts too much here.”
They never looked away from each other.
“Vegas,” they said simultaneously before falling into laughter.
Kyrie stood. Clothes appeared, covering his skin.
“Vegas.” He held his hand out for Aspen.
The world really was Kyrie’s oyster now.
At least until using his full powers got him stricken down by some vengeful demon or whatever.
He doubted Monnie would risk crossing Kyrie’s dad again.
Kyrie had not seen that one coming. But considering Freyr had zapped him back home without a word, he supposed nothing had changed as far as family went.
He had gone numb to that bullshit a long time ago.
Now he had to find a way to live with the loss of Fen while knowing it was one hundred percent his fault.
He couldn’t think about all the ways he had betrayed the man he loved.
Those thoughts would shatter him past the point of repair.
He was a master at disassociating. Kyrie could focus everything he possessed on Aspen’s problems. He could probably eke out a couple of hours before the pain caught him and crippled him again.
He would spend those hours trying to bring joy to Aspen.
Maybe he would whip up a big win for Aspen in one of the casinos.
His final act of kindness before he chose to move on to the next realm.
Maybe that gesture would be enough to bring him peace. Otherwise, nothing would.
Returning to Wulfe turned out to be a lot harder than Fen expected.
Since no one except a very select high-on-the-list members of Jonathan’s team could dissipate in or out of Jonathan’s land, his choices had been to cut through the mirrors or walk to the road to zap out.
Either way took him through the absolute uproar happening throughout Jonathan’s house.
It seemed no one, but likely Celeste, had known about Frost. They had all been fed the same information and had no reason to question his parentage.
Each yelled sentence, someone looked Tam’s way and ensured he knew they weren’t mad at him.
Tam had simply held his doll and nodded.
Jonathan wasn’t there for whatever reason, but Fen wouldn’t be surprised to learn he had known if Tam had.
Honestly, the Lucifer news explained a lot.
Druids were considered highly powerful and dangerous due to their secrecy and their ability to stay hidden from everyone and everything, including the deities.
They could cloak miles of land and live an invisible and peaceful existence.
But no one had known any of that about Frost, and Frost probably also didn’t know he could do those things.
So they had all run with the idea that he was a rare find.
Not only was he important, but he was at high risk of anything with evil intentions, absconding with him and wreaking havoc on the world.
Frost being half human made him especially vulnerable.
Now it looked like he had never been half human either.
He was born of a druid and the king of Hell.
The king of Hell bit was a lot to swallow in one sitting.
Now, it seemed, Gemini had taken Frost home and then vanished.
Fen’s head hurt now, and he was aggravated with the lies and secrets.
Thankfully, that irritation had pushed him to march straight to the road after learning all the crazy deceptions.
He thought maybe Leif, Frost, and Gemini had the right idea.
Maybe it was time he took his maybe-mate and ran. They had earned it.
Fen sat the moment he walked through the door.
From his couch, he eyed the life he shared with Kyrie.
There were clothes still on the floor from Fen attacking Kyrie when he couldn’t take the heat between them anymore.
Granted, they had been putting together a puzzle at the time.
He had never withstood the torture of watching Kyrie bite his bottom lip while focused on the pieces.
Goddess, he loved everything about Kyrie.
Fen couldn’t lose him. He had to find him.
His nerves were so bad, his neck itched.
He practically felt the way Kyrie blamed himself.
The absolute knowledge Kyrie was out there somewhere, hating himself for betraying Fen—like he had a choice—had Fen back on his feet.
If Kyrie didn’t know Fen loved him too much to let them go, then that was a failing on Fen’s part.
He had to show Kyrie how real love didn’t quit, even if it was found and not given.