Chapter 4 Ginny
FOUR
GINNY
The sun baked against my upturned face as I sat on the swing, its half-rotten base digging into my rear.
Before, I might have complained, but I was thankful for the moment of normality. Only a select few patients got to have time outside in the overgrown garden, so Nurse Nancy told me, and she’d gotten me on the list.
Larry told me they only gave us time outdoors to have something else to punish us with.
If they didn’t give us anything, there was nothing to take away.
I looked to my left, squinting against the brightness to see if I could spot Larry’s hulking form.
Instead, Nurse Nancy walked toward me, clutching a book in her hands.
If ever I’d met a woman who needed to let loose, it was her.
She was wound tighter than a cord round a sheep’s balls.
‘Ginny,’ she cooed, acting like I was eleven instead of the nineteen years that I was. ‘I brought you a little something to pass the time.’
Her hands trembled a little as she held out the book, glancing over her shoulder and stiffening as her doctor husband passed by. With increased fervour, she thrust the book at me before withdrawing a step.
‘What’s this for?’ I asked, turning the book over.
‘It’s an adventure book. I thought it might help you escape a bit. Even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time.’ Nancy chewed on her lip, looking nervous. Why did she care what I thought? She was the one who could walk out of there anytime she pleased.
‘Well, thank you, Ma’am.’ I gave her a smile that made her stop biting her lip to reciprocate.
A shudder stole over me as I glanced past Nancy, only to see her husband walking toward us.
Keeping my eyes on my feet, I tried to make myself small.
Unnoticeable. It was the only way I could see to stay afloat at Wellard.
Attracting attention led to torture. Heck, probably to worse things than torture.
In my week at the Asylum, I’d seen multiple people dragged off screaming and crying, and returning looking like their souls had fled the carcass of their bodies in a way to preserve their minds.
If their minds weren’t already lost.
Her husband’s grip was too tight on Nancy’s upper arm as he pulled her away from me, and I saw her shrivel at the touch. Not the way Mama reacted to Pop. No, she’d always leaned into him, not away.
The doctor looked back over his shoulder at me, and I folded in on myself, averting my eyes from their moment.
Leaves danced in the afternoon breeze, my aged swing rocking beneath me.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled the scents of the outdoors.
Dry dirt and twisted bark. The nurse’s faint lemon smell from the hand lotion she reapplied multiple times a day.
Brittle greenery and the burning stink coming from the kitchens.
I’d call it food, but from what I’d tasted so far, it would be too kind.
My fingers caressed my tummy, enjoying the little cherub stretching within. Safe. While she was inside me, she was safe.
A familiar scent caught my attention. Peppery. Manly. Musky and spiced.
Elijah.
Rising from the swing, I scanned the greenery. Hunting for him. The boy who’d stolen my heart at thirteen and had never let it go.
If anyone could find their way to me, it would be him.
My pulse jumped as I walked through the long grass, the yellowing blades scraping at my ankles.
Hiking up my dress, I looked over my shoulder, but no one seemed to have noticed my absence.
The thicket of trees drew me in, as though they screamed my name.
Branches scraped at my naked arms, marking my flesh with pink trails.
A twig snapped to my left. Twisting, I stared into the knot of trees where I thought the sound originated.
‘Elijah?’ I said, eyes widening as fear raked its nails through my insides.
Had my mind been playing tricks on me?
Perhaps the asylum had already poisoned my thoughts.
A root snagged my ankle, and I tripped over my feet, landing heavily in the roughage. In a huff, I lost my breath, rolling onto my back as tears filled my eyes. Cradling my stomach, I waited until I felt my baby move, letting out a choked sob when she did.
Dirt gathered beneath my nails as I dragged myself to my knees. Another twig cracking had me snapping my head to the right.
A hand slapped over my mouth, an arm circling my chest and hauling me back against a hard body.
Panic seized me. My elbows flailed, connecting with flesh as I heard an ooft in my ear.
‘Ginny,’ a voice demanded, holding me tighter.
Then it hit me, the spiced scent of safety. My muscles relaxed, and I laid my head back on Elijah’s shoulder, closing my eyes.
‘You found me,’ I whispered.
‘You were never lost. I’ll never let you go.’ His voice rumbled in his chest, sending happy vibrations squirming through me. His timbre had always been a balm to my every torment.
Wrapped in reassurance, I let him pull me back to the ground, leaning against him from my position between his legs.
‘How’s our little one?’ he asked, his lips grazing the side of my neck.
‘Unaware.’ Every kiss had my body yearning for him. Remembering him. ‘Oh, Elijah. Can you get me out of here?’
‘I will…’
‘Sneak me out the same way you snuck in?’ I begged, my breath catching as his hand skirted my thigh, hiking my dress high.
‘I can’t. It’s too dangerous in your condition.’
A lump formed in my throat.
‘Please? You can’t leave me here. They hurt people here.’
‘I won’t leave you. I’ll keep you safe.’ Elijah’s words were hot on my neck, intercepted with harsh bites along my skin.
‘Why haven’t you visited?’ My words brimmed with more accusation than I’d intended.
‘I can’t. I’m not family. They won’t let me.’
Insistence drove his hands over my underwear before tugging them to the right.
‘We can’t…’ I gasped as he thrust two fingers inside me. ‘Not here. Someone might see.’
‘They won’t. Ginny. I need you.’ The plea in his voice had me crumbling, as always.
There was a rustle behind me. Elijah was manoeuvring me on top of him, facing away. I tried to turn, wanting to look into his eyes. To kiss him.
‘Sit still,’ he demanded, thrusting into me with one harsh stroke.
‘Careful,’ I whimpered. ‘The baby.’
‘I’ve waited so long. Too long.’ Elijah’s words were rough, filled with desperate need.
‘You’re hurting me.’ Tears welled as I moved my hips, seeking to create space between us. Fingers clamped tightly over my throat, restricting my breath.
‘I’ll be quick.’
‘Elijah.’ His name was a prayer that went unanswered as he dragged my body down over his.
His other hand shifted between my thighs, kneading the tender flesh there, making my eyes glaze as memories of much kinder moments lingered.
He hadn’t always been so demanding. Men sought reassurance in losing themselves in a cunt, my Pops used to say.
Words weren’t useful to them how they are to us women.
They found solace at a woman’s expense. And if you loved them…
what choice did you have but to surrender?
Closing my eyes, I surrendered to his needs. Knowing it was the way he said he loved me. The way I was most useful to him.
He was the only person who’d ever needed me.
Pleasure built from his sure strokes, our bodies melding in a state of wet desperation.
Fingers loosened against my throat as his breathing grew more ragged.
‘You’re mine,’ he growled, repeating the phrase with each dig of his hips.
His.
The baby and I were his. His alone.
I clung to the fact that he would help get me out of the asylum.
Intense pleasure twisted in my core, coming in crashing waves from the place where he filled me. I came in a sticky mess, writhing in his lap as he panted behind me.
‘There’s a good girl,’ he groaned, his fingers digging painfully into my hips.
With a ferocious groan, he pumped his love deep inside me, coating me with its every salty drop.
We lay after, in a pile of gasps and sweat, him tracing patterns through my knotted hair.
‘Don’t go,’ I whispered when he moved.
‘I have to. But I’ll be back.’
‘We can’t have her in here. They’ll take her away.’ My eyes fluttered closed as I loitered in his heady smell, wanting to hold on to the closeness for as long as possible.
‘I won’t let anyone else have her,’ he crooned. ‘I’ll get you both out before she comes.’
‘You promise?’
‘I promise.’ I shifted to let him stand, but by the time I got up, he was gone.
‘Elijah?’
The trees were thick, and only the briefest hint of white flashed amongst them.
‘Elijah?!’
His name echoed back at me. The sound of a raven taking flight sounded from above.
A rope dangled from a branch, its frayed ends twisting in the breeze. A knot tied it firmly above.
It sent a dart along my spine, and I gathered up my dropped book, dusting the dirt from its corner and holding it tight to my chest.
Before heading back, I searched for a way out, but all I found was tall, pointed metal fencing.
Nurse Nancy was frantic when I stumbled back to the asylum doors, bloodied from the sharp claws of the trees, mulch staining my white dress, and twigs caught in my hair.
‘Good lord, girl. Let’s get you in and cleaned up before a doctor sees you. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’