Chapter 26 Nancy
TWENTY-SIX
NANCY
I’d fled, shoving Robert away when he tried to touch me.
The empty halls were a small solace. At least I didn’t have to hide my tear-stained cheeks.
As mad as I was at Robert, I couldn’t help but wish he would have come after me.
I couldn’t bear the thought of his hands reaching for me, yet the fact he stayed with Ginny added salt to my many wounds.
The moment I got home, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried until my cheeks grew tender.
When I ran out of tears, I climbed into a scalding shower and scrubbed every inch of my skin until it grew red raw.
But it wasn’t enough. His touch clung to my body.
How many times had he come home after screwing Ginny before climbing in beside me in the weeks since she’d been at Wellard?
Had it been going on longer? I couldn’t let myself believe he was Elijah all along.
That sharp peppery aftershave that tortured Ginny with her delusion of Elijah was the aftershave I bought Robert every Christmas.
Could it be a coincidence that the smell that made her imagine Elijah was the same one Robert wore?
A million possibilities crashed into me, each more preposterous than the last.
Sleep didn’t come when I crawled into bed in the early hours.
I lay awake all night, sick to my core. Ginny’s vacant stare was there every time I closed my eyes. Glassy. Hollow. Barely there, as Robert used her. I twisted the sheets into knots until morning bled grey into the windows, my eyes stinging with exhaustion.
As the sun’s rays moved over the ceiling in sliding lines, I dreaded Robert’s shift ending. How could I have been married to him for so long, yet not know him at all? I thought Wellard was warping him, but what if he was a hidden monster all along?
No. It couldn’t be.
I remembered Robert in those early days. Lean and boyish, with his hair flopping into his eyes. His smile was always so quick and easy. The way he’d press close to me at dances, his hands going from shy and shaky to bolder. Every one of those touches made me squirm with delight.
He’d whisper the sweetest promises into my hair. One day we’ll have a family, Nance. A proper one. You’ll see. Three little kids who look just like you.
I’d believed him.
And what had it got me? A husband who’d force himself on patients. A Marney, living in my home.
The door slammed, the sound making the entire house shudder.
I dragged myself from the bed and gathered a robe around me like terry-cloth armour.
When Robert threw open the bedroom door, he looked almost as god-awful as I felt.
The room filled with his sweat and the acrid smell of stale tobacco.
Beneath it, that same herby aftershave that had once meant safety.
It had become poison.
‘How could you?’ My voice cut through the air.
He dropped his bag by the door with a thud, arms folding in defence. ‘Don’t start.’
‘Don’t start? Don’t fucking start? I saw you screwing a patient.’ The absolute asshole couldn’t let this slide off his sloped shoulders like it was as small an infraction as forgetting to empty the trashcan. ‘With her.’
He didn’t flinch. No shame. No denial.
‘The baby’s for you.’
His words settled like volcanic ash. ‘What?’
‘For you,’ he repeated, as if it was the most obvious sentence in the world.
‘What do you mean? You’re saying the baby is yours?’
‘Ours. Ginny’s my niece.’
‘That’s sick.’ The room tilted as my stomach lurched.
‘She’s my brother’s stepdaughter. Not blood.’
‘That doesn’t make it better.’ My throat burned as my head spun. ‘She’s already pregnant. Why continue?’
‘It keeps her calm. Pacified. Otherwise she hurts herself.’
The indifference in his tone made my skin crawl.
‘Since she was thirteen?’ She’d told me Elijah had been with her since then.
He sneered. ‘All lies.’
‘She told me there were other babies.’
‘What other babies?’ His eyes narrowed.
‘She said—’
‘The girl’s a liar. She agreed to help us bring a baby into the world, and then went nuts after she got pregnant. It’s why she’s at Wellard, so I can keep her from hurtin’ herself or the child. I’ll sign her release papers the moment the baby is in your arms.’
I shook my head, trembling so hard I had to sit on the edge of the bed.
‘I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t make you fuck and incarcerate an innocent woman, Robert. That’s all on you.’
A dark flush rose on his neck.
‘Don’t you dare put this all on me. You’re the one who wanted a baby so badly. Every bloody month. The sulkin’. The tears. The black moods after every loss. You made me do this. You.’ Every word was filled with venom.
And they hit harder than any blow.
‘And Ginny?’ I whispered. ‘Is she nothing but an incubator or do you love her? Is that what this is?’
His eyes gleamed. He didn’t deny it.
Instead, he crossed the room and sat next to me, leaning close. ‘At least she gave me what you couldn’t.’
Heat scorched my face, shame and fury colliding at his cruel words. How could he? After everything I’d suffered to try to have a family with him.
‘And don’t act high and mighty,’ he added. ‘I saw you fingerin’ the whore. Don’t think I didn’t notice. You’re no different from me.’
Oh God. I didn’t think anyone had seen me giving in to Ginny’s plea. It had been wrong, but it was nothing like what Robert had done. He’d forced a child into his poor niece and then locked her up to watch her have it. And he’d lied to me for months. Maybe years. My vision blurred red.
I slapped him. The crack echoed through the room, my palm stinging with the force. For a heartbeat, he was stunned. Then his lips curled into a smile that made my blood run cold.
‘You swore to obey me,’ he hissed. ‘In front of God. In front of everyone. That’s what a wife does. You’ll be quiet about Ginny. You’ll take the goddamned baby and be thankful.’
My world collapsed in on itself. The memory of standing at that altar and promising to honour him. To obey. I had meant the words back then. With that Robert. And he twisted them into shackles to silence me.
Something inside me shattered.
I snatched his aftershave from the dresser and hurled it at him with all the strength I could muster. The bottle smashed against the wall, glass scattering across the floor. The scent grew thick, suffocating the air.
‘You bastard,’ I whispered. ‘Get out before I call the cops.’
His gravelly laughter fell over me as he stood. ‘You’re as pathetic as you are barren. At least I’ll have Ginny’s wet little cunt to warm my cock.’
He shoved clothes into a bag while muttering curses under his breath, before shouldering past me on his way to the door.
‘I can’t have you here,’ I whispered.
The door slammed behind him minutes later, rattling the old windows.
And then there was nothing but silence.
I sank to the floor amid the shards of glass, welcoming their bite as I waited for the tears to come.
Ginny’s hollow eyes flashed, and I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. Even with Robert’s scalpel-sharp words cutting into me.
At least she gives me what you couldn’t.