Chapter 28 Nancy
TWENTY-EIGHT
NANCY
Robert leaned casually against the nurses’ station, laughing jovially at whatever the pretty redheaded one said.
To the outside world he looked relaxed. Like nothing had changed.
But for someone who knew him as well as I did, the signs were there.
The deepening of the bags below his eyes.
The wrinkles on his shirt where he’d slept in it.
His hair erring on the side of bacon grease.
When his eyes found mine, his smile dropped.
I crossed the hall, forcing myself not to falter despite so many eyes turning to me. ‘Stay away from her.’
His brow twitched, feigning ignorance. ‘Who?’
‘You know who. Don’t go near her again.’
Something ugly flickered in his eyes. But he smirked, as though humouring me. Like I was a child.
My cheeks burned as I turned, my bravery fleeing under the public gaze.
But my running was in vain. Robert cornered me in the supply room. His smell hit me first. Not the aftershave that lingered in Ginny’s delusions, but the sour and musty staleness of sweat. I wrinkled my nose and tried to create space between us.
‘You’ve had a few days to get over it,’ he muttered while moving closer, sweeping his lank hair back as if it would charm me. His hand brushed my hip. ‘We can’t go on like this.’
‘No.’ I pushed him away. Hard.
Robert slammed back into a shelf, sending rolled bandages flying. His surprise was almost comical. For the first time, I hadn’t just endured him. I’d said no.
‘Don’t touch me.’ My voice quavered but held. ‘I don’t want you to ever touch me again.’
He narrowed his eyes, but I slipped past him before he could speak again. I listened for his footsteps as I walked back to the ward, but I didn’t look back.
Every step down the corridor, I braced for him to snatch at me. But he didn’t come.
My pulse thundered all the way back to the ward.
Leaning against a cold, chipped wall, my thoughts went back to Ginny. To her swollen belly, so tight and hot beneath my hand. To the life inside her that was still safe for now.
They’d never let her keep it. That much I knew.
Wellard wasn’t a place for babies. No one left whole, not the patients, hell, not even the staff.
And no one would allow a child to be raised among its walls.
And I hoped that Marney and his ilk wouldn’t perform their gruesome experiments on a baby.
Hoped, but held little confidence in it being the truth.
But maybe Ginny didn’t need to keep it.
Maybe I could…
The thought slid into me like a nasty little blade. Horrifying at first. But it quickly grew roots that wrapped around my chest.
I could save the baby. Save it from Robert. Save it from a fate more hideous than most people could dream up.
I could give it all the love and safety I’d been waiting to give to a little bundle of joy.
The more I let myself imagine it, the more it took shape. A sweet little babe with Ginny’s big blue eyes and her soft blonde hair. Ruddy-cheeked and sweet. Nights of rocking it in my arms while singing soft lullabies. The life Robert had always promised me and never delivered.
I didn’t need Robert.
I didn’t need his hands or his lies.
Money would be tricky, but many people have got by on less.
I didn’t need him at all.
For the first time in years, strength stirred in me. Fragile but alive.
Later, I caught sight of Ginny.
She was across the hall, seated near the window in one of the day rooms. The weak light framed her in a gentle glow. Like an angel. Her cropped hair hung uneven against her face, her gaze fixed on something I couldn’t see. One hand stroked absently over her stomach, soothing the child within.
My steps slowed.
The bump was tremendously full, the fabric of her nightgown pulled tight. The fabric rippled as my child moved beneath.
I hoped we could raise it together. No longer Robert’s, but Ginny’s and mine. A child loved by two women who wanted to love a child so badly.
My chest ached at the hunger I felt.
She turned her head then, finding me across the room. A soft look crossed her face.
I raised my hand, greeting both her and the little one inside.
Our baby.