Chapter 7 #2
Friday, he was awaiting her outside Rosings’ side door, and she thought she saw him jump a little when she arrived, as if he had been leaning against the wall waiting for her.
For the first time, and perhaps belatedly, she wondered if he was meeting her on purpose.
She had thought he simply liked to walk in the garden on a sunny afternoon before tea, a perfectly normal habit, and eventually their paths would stop crossing, but now she wondered if that wasn’t the case.
She couldn’t really blame him. Three weeks at Rosings could make anyone long for escape.
“If I didn’t know better, Mr. Darcy, I would guess you were hoping to spot me,” she teased. Elizabeth was never one to hold in her thoughts when Mr. Darcy was involved.
He looked away for a moment, before giving her a small smile.
“Did you enjoy your music today, Miss Bennet?”
“Yes, I did. I have almost mastered this piece.” She gestured to the music sheets she was carrying. “And how did you spend your morning?”
It was the first time she had asked him anything beyond the weather and he seemed pleased by her interest.
“I have been reviewing the crops in the home farm and discussed some possible alterations for the next season with my aunt’s steward. And you?”
“Oh, the usual. I took a walk, wrote a letter to my mother and my sister, helped Charlotte in the kitchen, and then I came here.”
“The kitchen? I didn’t know you were adept at the art of cookery, Miss Bennet,” he said.
“Adept is not the appropriate word, Mr. Darcy. Stumbling or awkward might be better,” she noticed he smiled slightly, “but it is enjoyable and I want to spend time with and be of use to my friend. My father thinks it is a useful skill to learn, and I am inclined to agree with him.”
“Did you cook at Longbourn, then?” he asked.
“Only recently.” She did not want to tell him about her father’s recent about-face in parenting and expose her family more than they already were, but she also wanted to discuss her suspicions with someone sensible.
Regardless of her opinion on his personality, she had never thought Mr. Darcy silly.
Charlotte could not be trusted not to say anything to Mr. Collins, and that would only be humiliating and possibly disastrous if it was what she suspected.
She also admitted to herself that a man’s perspective, and that of someone older than her twenty years, might be helpful, though she could hardly expect Mr. Darcy to be that person.
Perhaps Colonel Fitzwilliam would be a good confidante?
After another moment’s hesitation, she noticed Mr. Darcy was looking at her expectantly. “Forgive me, Mr. Darcy, my mind wandered. I meant only that my father has recently added to his daughters’ usual education and cookery is one of those additions.”
“Oh? What sort of additions?” He looked curious now, and she realized she must answer something.
“He has engaged masters for us,” she said simply.
“What sort of masters?” Mr. Darcy seemed determined to continue this conversation.
“Music, drawing, and French.” He nodded his head in approval and she couldn’t resist adding, “And he is tutoring us in literature himself, to improve our minds with extensive reading.” She had meant to tease him about his ideal of the accomplished woman, but her words provoked an unexpected response.
Mr. Darcy laughed. Not a loud guffaw and she never saw more than his front teeth, but he most certainly chuckled and shook his head.
“And what sort of books are Mr. Bennet’s daughters reading?” he asked. She couldn’t help but notice that his eyes looked happy, and she wondered at their semi-pleasant conversation.
“Each of us is different. My two youngest sisters are focusing primarily on history, though different periods. My sister Mary is currently reading poetry, and Jane is reading Hamlet.”
“And you?”
“Nothing at the moment, though I just finished a book on war strategies.”
He chuckled again and she smiled in response. Looking up, she saw they had reached the parsonage.
“Good day, Mr. Darcy.”
“Good day, Miss Bennet.” He bowed over her hand and left, his countenance still looking happier than she had ever seen it before. How odd.
Monday he walked her home while she discussed the weather and a little of the book she was translating. Tuesday he was absent.
Wednesday, he was there again. She did not stop to greet him but merely nodded in his direction and carried on, knowing he would step beside her.
“Are you always so diligent in your music practice, Miss Bennet?” he asked.
“No, quite the opposite, actually. I promised my father that I would practice when I could on this trip. When Lady Catherine offered the opportunity, I couldn’t say no.”
He nodded. “Are you also practicing your drawing and French while you are here?”
“Yes, to an extent. I draw most days on my own, and I have a French book my tutor sent with me to translate.”
“I speak French. I would be happy to assist you if you’d like,” he offered.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy, that is very kind of you, but I’m satisfied with my progress at present.
” He nodded and they walked on silently a few minutes more.
She felt relieved he had accepted her refusal so graciously.
She was half afraid he would be like Lady Catherine and insist she practice French daily in the butler’s office.
She could not fathom spending an hour alone with Mr. Darcy, studying or not.
“What has brought about the change in your family?”
“Excuse me?”
“Pardon me. You said your father has changed his parenting habits and that things were now being done differently. I merely wondered what the cause was.”
“In truth, I do not know.” She hesitated, not sure what to say and uncertain if she should confide in Mr. Darcy, but knowing she desperately needed to talk to someone. “Mr. Darcy, might I ask you something? I mean, your opinion on something?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I will have to ask you to keep this in strict confidence, for it is only my own conjecture and I have no facts to corroborate my thoughts.”
“You have my word, Miss Bennet.”
She nodded. “You see, my father has never taken much interest in his children before now. He has always been kind to me and those of us that wanted to learn never lacked for instruction, but one could certainly be indolent if one wished.” Darcy nodded again, saying nothing.
“But last winter, just before Christmas, everything changed.
“Suddenly there were masters in the house and he was assigning books to read and actually discussing them. He insisted we help my mother with the household accounts, though only Jane and I had done so previously, and he took a house by the seaside for the summer, when he never travels. My sisters Catherine and Lydia are no longer out, and he even moved Lydia back to the nursery!”
At this Mr. Darcy looked thoughtful and nodded his head slightly.
“Do you suppose… oh, I am being silly, never mind,” she closed her mouth and walked swiftly ahead.
“Miss Bennet!” He quickly caught up to her and said, “Please, continue. This is quite intriguing.”
She paused, took a deep breath and looked around before speaking quietly.
“Do you suppose it’s possible that something is wrong with him?
” At Mr. Darcy’s raised brow, she hastily continued, “Not with his mind, I do not mean that what he is doing is silly. On the contrary, I have wished he would do exactly this for some time, but it is so out of the ordinary, and so unlike him, I cannot help but think that something must have brought it on. Surely he did not wake up one day and suddenly think his daughters needed to learn French and that the youngest should go back to the nursery?”
“No, it does not sound likely. You think there is something amiss with his health?”
She licked her lips and nodded, looking around her worriedly. “It is as if he is trying to give us everything he can, before he can give us no more,” she said softly.
She looked to the ground and her expression was hidden by her bonnet, but Mr. Darcy was sure she was upset. “It does not sound implausible. My father did something similar in his last days.”
“He did?” She looked up in surprise.
“Yes. He knew for some months that his end was near. He had already been training me to take over the estate, but he had a new vigor. Even at mealtimes, he spoke to me of investments and tenants and road projects. It was as if he wanted to impart all his knowledge while he had the time.”
Elizabeth nodded, feeling dangerously close to losing her composure.
“He has never taken us to the seaside before.” Mr. Darcy only nodded and walked alongside her slowly, while she hid behind her bonnet.
“He gave Jane a beautiful necklace for her birthday. He has given us gifts before, but something about this one…” She trailed off, despising herself for exposing so much to Mr. Darcy of all people, but also feeling immense relief at having unburdened herself.
“I am sorry, Mr. Darcy. I am afraid I’m not good company today,” she said.
He handed her his handkerchief and she dabbed at her eyes before handing it back to him. “It is no trouble at all, Miss Bennet. I am honored to share your confidence.”
They had reached the parsonage by now and he bowed deeply. She gave him a weak smile and a curtsey, then went silently into the house.
Elizabeth went straight to her room where she thoroughly berated herself for talking to Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Darcy of all people! She had grown accustomed to his presence and his quiet questions on all their walks.
She had forgotten herself and let her worry for her father overtake her good sense.
She had asked him to keep a confidence of hers!
He was not even a friend! How could she have done such a thing?
She burned with embarrassment—she had just spilled her heart to a man with little compassion and even less respect for those beneath him, as he most certainly viewed her to be.
If he walked with her again tomorrow, she would apologize for overstepping and speaking of things she should not have and hope that would put an end to it.
Her family would arrive in two days’ time and shortly after that, they would be on their way to Margate and her first glimpse of the sea.
She could survive a few more days in Mr. Darcy’s company, but she must be careful not to be alone with him. After she apologized, that is.