Chapter 13
When we walk back through the front door, together, I’ve never been happier to be home.
I managed to get Jesse’s car unstuck from the snowbank and drove it back, following him as he drove my SUV.
The kid was scared, and I don’t blame him one bit.
He drove five miles per hour the whole way, and I just sat in his car right behind him, inhaling deep breaths of his scent as it surrounded me.
I won’t lie and say I’m at ease in what’s happening. I’m still nervous, about all of this. But one thing became abundantly clear when I realized that he’d left without a word.
I can’t live without him.
Maybe it was never romantic before this crazy holiday changed everything. Actually, I’m certain it wasn’t, at least not for me. And I’m happy about that. It makes me feel like less of a creep, and more like a man who’s been swept up in an unexpected love.
So falling in love with your adopted son isn’t normal… But what has normal ever done for me anyway?
It kept me alive with blinders on, with an unknown treasure hidden inside me, waiting to be discovered.
I’m not sure what this means for my sexuality, but if the only man I’m attracted to is Jesse, then I’m totally fine with that. He’s gorgeous and smart and talented. Certainly more grounded than I was at eighteen.
And where we’ll go from here is still vastly up in the air. But I have to give in to this. Because if the alternative is losing him, then I’ll do everything in my power to fight it.
I’ll carry the weight of the world to keep him happy. That I can do.
We strip out of our wet boots and coats at the door, and I take Jesse by the hand, bringing him to the living room.
He stands in front of the fireplace warming his hands while I throw a couple of logs on.
I can’t read his face, but he seems lost in his own thoughts, and it reminds me of the scare he just faced.
Jesse lost his parents to an accident, and it shaped him. The tragedy of it made him who he is, for better or worse. Though I’d say better, because he’s fucking strong. I gave him the best childhood I possibly could, and I know I did well for the kid. But he doesn’t need me…
Regardless of what he thinks, his love for me, he doesn’t need anyone. I respect that immensely. I’d like to think I’m the same, but I’m not sure if it’s true.
Because I definitely need him.
Jesse’s face tilts up to mine and I can’t stop myself. I grab him and haul him into my arms, hugging him tight, hand sliding up to cup his head, the other resting on his lower back. He melts into me and we just sway for many minutes by the fire.
He’s not shivering anymore. I think he’s warm and content. I hope he is…
After a while, he pulls back and gazes up at me, lashes fluttering as he says, “Sit. Please.”
I’m confounded by his soft command, and I nod, releasing him and plopping down onto the loveseat. Jesse wanders over to the Christmas tree and bends to rustle something from underneath. He comes back to me with a small gift box, wrapped in sparkly paper with a red bow on top.
“In all the excitement, I never got to give you your gift,” he says, handing it to me.
I take it with a cock of my brow. “Excitement… That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.”
Jesse rolls his eyes, a smirk covering his plush lips. “Just shut up and open it.”
A chuckle bubbles from my throat as I examine the box in my hands. I’m vibrating in anticipation…
What kind of gift could he have picked out for me?
Glancing up at him, I pat the seat next to me. His grin widens and he slinks onto the loveseat, nestling up to my side. I can’t resist pressing a kiss in his silky hair before slowly unwrapping my Christmas present.
Removing the top from the gift box, I blink. Airline tickets…
I peer at him, and he bites his lip. Taking them out, I read the destination.
“St. Barth…” I murmur, my fingers trailing the tickets.
Jesse leans in, pointing to the travel date. “For New Year’s.” I peer down at him, and he mumbles, “Surprise,” chewing nervously on his lower lip. “Is that okay? It’s only a week, and I know you have time off… I just figured you could use a vacation. I mean, we both could, I guess…”
I cut off his rambles with my lips, kissing him softly, though I’ve surprised him enough that he gasps into my mouth.
I have no idea why his timidity turns me on, why the idea that he was nervous about this gift has my heart thudding aggressively in my chest. But it does and I have to force myself to stop mauling him.
“Baby… this is so thoughtful,” I whisper, fingertips trailing his sharp jaw. “Thank you so much. This is the best gift ever. Well, second best…”
His brows zip together, honey-colored irises sparkling at me.
You, baby… You’re the best gift I’ve ever received.
I wish I could unwrap him.
Jesse’s cheeks flush as understanding dawns, and he breaks our intense stare, glancing down shyly before resting his head on my shoulder.
“I made a reservation at a cool resort, but now I’m thinking maybe we should get a villa,” he chirps, peeking up at me once more. “For some privacy.”
I can’t stop smiling. It’s a bit disturbing, honestly. I don’t think I’ve smiled this much in my entire life.
“That sounds amazing.” I place the box down and reach for his waist, pulling him on top of me. His eyes widen as he straddles my waist, gripping my shoulders. “One week might not be enough. Maybe we should extend it.”
He chuckles, pressing his forehead to mine. “It was just supposed to be a vacation… I didn’t know this would happen. I swear to God, James, I never planned on like… seducing you. I was all set to keep this stuff hidden forever. These feelings…” His hands fall to my chest.
“Things happened the way they were supposed to,” I tell him, cupping his face. “I think… maybe it was inevitable. This.”
He pulls back just enough for us to lock eyes. “You think so?”
I shrug. “There’s no way to know for sure, but I’m happy. I’m sort of terrified, but it’s exciting. And this trip… I think it’s perfect. The only way we’ll ever be able to explore this is by getting away from our normal lives.”
Jesse nods, but there’s still some uncertainty shining in his eyes. “Won’t it feel like we’re… running away?”
“No.” I shake my head, giving him my confidence.
I can make it my job to placate both of our hesitations.
I have no problem doing that. “We’re giving in to what we want.
I think you unwittingly gave us both the best gift, for us.
” My fingers press to his pink lips. “And I wouldn’t mind seeing you in some sexy little swimsuit. ”
He laughs, shivering my insides as he does. “Mmm… pervy. I like it.”
He smirks and I kiss it off his mouth, humming and sucking, savoring this… It’s all so new and strange. But it feels good.
What’s wrong with giving into temptation when it sets your soul on fire?
Christmas was three days ago.
And things are infinitely different than they were before the most unexpected holiday revelation ever.
Jesse and I have become inseparable. Literally. We can’t seem to separate our bodies. We spend almost all day every day wrapped up in each other.
He cooks and bakes, as usual. And we eat in the kitchen together, like we used to. But they’re no longer family meals… They’re like dates.
We’re fucking dating. It’s bizarre. But amazing. I’ve never experienced this kind of bliss.
Of course we haven’t left the house. There hasn’t been much of a reason to, especially after being snowed in for days. We’ve kept the shades down, blocking out the world while we lie by the fire or on the couch, touching and kissing and fucking…
Jesus, the fucking… I never knew I could come so much in one consolidated amount of time. The kid is insatiable, and I’m just trying to keep up. But my sex drive seems to have jumpstarted back into teenager mode. I guess that’s what he does to me.
I suppose this is when our loner qualities come in handy. There isn’t anyone knocking down our doors, looking to check in and uncover our secret relationship. We’re holed up in a world of unwavering lust, and new love. It’s fantastic.
Yet we both know it can’t last like this… It isn’t realistic. And it certainly isn’t fair for me to expect Jesse to remain a dirty little secret of mine. The more we go on, the more I want to take him out. To say fuck it to society’s rules and kiss him in a crowded room…
It’s a need that’s been bubbling inside me, more and more with every minute we spend building this relationship… Building us.
Our vacation couldn’t come at a better time. I’m counting down the minutes until we leave for St. Barth. I can’t wait to get him on a beach.
We’re in my bedroom. We just finished packing, because even though we don’t leave for another two days, we’re so excited we can’t even contain ourselves.
Jesse canceled our reservation at the resort when he found a private villa at this super nice, secluded spot.
They had an opening, which was lucky, and he pounced on it.
I have to say, I’m thrilled at how he’s taken over planning our little excursion.
I’m such a control freak in most things, it feels nice to be taken care of; spoiled, in a sense.
And by a gorgeous young hottie, no less.
Who am I?? What is this new euphoric life I lead?
Lying in my bed, watching random TV, Jesse saunters into the room freshly showered, in nothing but a towel.
My dick is stirring instantly as he finishes drying off and drops it, giving me a coy look before crawling into the bed, snuggling under the covers.
He presses his smooth naked flesh to mine and I’m fucking drooling…
At the feel of him, the scent of him. Everything.
If you had asked me a week ago if the feel of taunt muscles and a hard cock grazing my thigh would turn me into a ravenous fiend, I’d laugh in your face and call you a deranged lunatic.
But now… Well, let’s just say I’m having very little reservations about revoking my own straight card.