Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
S ierra
Jack and I climbed on the bed and sat with our backs against the headboard. Reaching over, he grabbed my hand, and everything felt right.
“Talk to me, Sierra.”
“It was Christmas Eve, and I was five years old when my mom left me at midnight mass in a church full of people. She got up from the pew, told me she’d be right back, and that was it. I never saw her again.”
“Jesus Christ, Sierra. I’m sorry. What about your father?”
“I have no clue who my father is. I’m guessing he took off when she told him she was pregnant.”
“Isn’t his name listed on your birth certificate?” Jack asked.
“No. The only name is my mother’s.” I lay my head on his shoulder. “I had never been so scared as I was that night when my life changed. I was bounced around to different foster homes until I was ten, when a couple, Madison and Julia, wanted to adopt me. I lived with them for less than a year, waiting for the adoption papers to go through when they were killed in a car accident. Then, it was back into the system, where I stayed in a group home. After I graduated high school, I worked two jobs to try and survive, sometimes three. I dated on and off, but I had a habit back then of choosing the wrong guys. Then I met Wesley, and we fell in love. I didn’t even hesitate when he asked me to move to New York with him. And then, six months later, he was killed—killed on November 28 th .”
“That’s why you hate the holidays so much,” Jack said.
“Yeah.” I inhaled a breath. “When Claire showed up and then took off, I felt like I was reliving my past through Ellie, hence the panic attacks. I could feel her pain. She had the same sadness in her eyes that I had for years. But the difference is that she has you, her father, to make things right and make her feel safe. Since she’s only four, she may not remember the day her mother abandoned her. And I pray to God she doesn’t because that shit sticks to you like glue.”
“I’m sorry for everything you went through,” Jack said, kissing the top of my head.
“Now that I’ve told you about mine, I want to hear about yours.”
“After my mother passed away when I was seven, my father sent me away to boarding school. He told me to concentrate on my studies and work hard, and one day, Atlas Enterprises would be mine. Every year, I would ask him if I could come home for the holidays, and the answer was the same. He was going on a trip and wouldn’t be around. He dated all kinds of women after my mother passed—women who were more important to him than his own son. So, every Christmas, I stayed at boarding school with a couple of other kids who also got left behind. I resented my father for that, and I hated him. When I was eighteen, I went to Harvard to study business. By then, I’d hated the holidays so much that I didn’t even bother. All the decorations, joy, and celebrating only reminded me of the shitty Christmases I had since I was seven. My father was kind enough to send me Christmas cards with a note saying that my gift was deposited into my bank account.”
“I guess we both suffered the same trauma around the holidays,” I said.
“When Claire told me she was pregnant, I was scared. I knew I couldn’t be the kind of father that Ellie needed me to be. I was too afraid I’d be like my father. I mean, after all, he was my role model. I let my past define what kind of father I’d be. Maybe if I fought for Claire to stay in New York, I could have had a better relationship with Elianna, and she wouldn’t be struggling with abandonment issues as we have. I love my daughter, Sierra. All I wanted was a better life for her than I had because I was too scared I would fuck her up in the long run.”
“She’s only four, Jack. You still have so much time to make things right with her. She won’t remember you not being around for the first few years of her life. These coming years are what is important. Does your father know about Ellie?”
“No. He has no idea she exists, and I don’t even feel bad about it. He was a shit father and doesn’t have the right to know about her.”
I lifted my head from his shoulder, sat, and faced him. “I want you to erase any doubt that you can’t be the father to Ellie that she needs. You’re not your father.”
He brought his hand up and softly stroked my cheek as our eyes stared into each other.
“Holiday hell is about to get a lot more hellish.” A smirk crossed his lips.
“I may have something to help get us through it. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I ran down to my room, grabbed the box of goodies I bought at Saks, and took it back up to Jack’s bedroom.
“I bought you this today.” I smiled.
“You mean I bought it?” His brow arched.
“Who cares who bought it? It’s a necessity.”
“What is this?” His brows furrowed. “It looks like an advent calendar.”
“It is. Turn it over and read the back.”
Jack turned the box over and read it. “Are you serious? A whiskey advent calendar?”
“Yep. Twenty-four small bottles of different whiskey. One daily bottle to consume to help us get through the holidays.”
“They’re only 30ml.” He smirked.
“No worries. You bought me one too.”
He chuckled. “Thank you. I love this. It sounds like you had fun shopping with Ellie in holiday hell.”
“Fun and holiday hell shouldn’t be used in the same sentence. I’m sorry about dinner tonight.” I looked down.
He set the box on the bed and held out his arms. “Come here.” I snuggled against him and wrapped my arm around his waist. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I understand now why you felt we needed to stay home, and you were right.” His lips pressed against the top of my head. “Thank you for sticking around and helping me out with her.”
“Like I had a choice?” A smirk crossed my lips as I lifted my head and looked at him. “My job was on the line.”
“Maybe I was a little harsh.”
“A little harsh?” I laughed.
“Bring those beautiful lips up here.” The corner of his mouth flicked. “In fact, bring your entire body up here.”
Straddling him, I leaned over, and our lips meshed while his hands ran up and down my back. Pulling my shirt over my head, I tossed it over the side of the bed.
M y eyes flew open at the sun peeking in through the curtains. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, it was eight a.m.
“Jack, get up! It’s eight o’clock!” I spoke in a panic.
His eyes opened, and a smile crossed his lips. “Good morning. I can’t remember the last time I slept until eight.”
“We’re supposed to be at the office!” I swung my legs over the bed and planted my feet on the floor.
“Relax.” His hand gripped my shoulder, and he started massaging it. “We’re not going into the office until after our meeting with the school.”
“You couldn’t tell me? When did you decide that?”
“Last night. You were already asleep.”
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened, and Ellie rubbed her eyes.
“Morning, sweetheart. Come here.” Jack held out his arms.
She ran to him and climbed on the bed. At that moment, I noticed something different about him.
“Did you sleep good?” he asked, tickling her.
“Yeah.” She giggled. “I’m hungry.”
“Then let’s go make you some breakfast.” He kissed her cheek.
After showering and dressing, I walked into Jack’s room and found Ellie sitting on the bed with her iPad while Jack was in the shower.
“Come on, Ellie. Let’s go put on one of your new outfits.” I smiled.
After getting her dressed, I sat her on the bathroom counter and brushed her hair.
“Do you like my new outfit, Daddy?” Ellie asked Jack as he stood in the doorway.
“It’s beautiful. We have to leave in a few minutes,” he said.
“She’s almost ready.” I smiled.