CHAPTER 14 #2
“Sure,” I start to say, but then cut off mid-word.
Because, no, I don’t think I am. It’s that word again—giants—that I’ve been trying to run from all my life, but this time, it’s not aimed at me like an insult.
It’s a… species? I shake my head to clear the thought.
“I expected you to tell me about Philistines.”
“Philistines may have been one of the tribes of the Nephilim.” She shakes her head. “Forget Philistines. They’re not important.”
“Xy was sure fired up about them.”
“So, we’ll consider them later. Right now, I think they’re a red herring.”
We’ll consider them later. I take strange comfort in her use of the plural.
“If you’re interested in the Watchers, you’ll find the first Enoch book, entitled, just to make this easier, The Book of the Watchers, of interest. There are several Enochian books, but only the first holds any religious weight, and it’s the one that deals with the Watchers and their children.
The book is also included in the Ethiopian Bible, though it’s not canonical in other versions of Christianity.
I’m not sure about Judaism, honestly, because I didn’t get that far in my research.
But the Nephilim… they’re also Biblical, and responsible for a whole lot of destruction. ”
Weird word, Nephilim. It makes something uneasy crawl through my gut, though I don’t know why.
“But it’s just a story. Real giants don’t exist. Some people like me, we suffer from gigantism, which is a medical condition, but not a hybrid species.
” My parents and all the doctors took great care to assure me that I might suffer from some medical issues, like joint pain, swelling, headaches, and muscle weakness, but that everyone has genetic issues.
And sure, there’s a heightened risk of cancer, heart issues, and hormonal imbalance, not to mention delayed puberty, which I most definitely suffered, but I’m only eight and a half feet tall.
There are numerous basketball players who stand within a foot of me, all perfectly healthy, and no one is calling them by pejorative terms or implying they’re not fully human.
Giants from angels. It’s ridiculous.
And yet… my pulse is jumping. There’s a heavy feeling of dread and awakening inside me. Something feels… right… and really, really wrong.
Nina just watches me as I turn my thoughts over in my head.
Finally, I ask, “What happened to the Watchers and their children?”
“The Watchers were imprisoned for disobeying God, as I said. But their children…” Nina leans into me, a sort of armless hug, before adding, “Their children were said to be incredibly evil.”
“Evil! I’m not…”
“I know,” she says, interrupting me, turning her head enough to kiss me wherever she can reach, which is along my stomach.
“I’m just telling you what the story is about the Nephilim.
These hybrids were giants, but they were a lot more, too.
For one thing, they inherited the technology, knowledge, and supernatural abilities of their fathers.
Some say that each angel had his own special gift that he gave to his line in exchange for ruling through them.
For a time, the Watchers ruled as gods—small ‘g’—until God tried to erase them with The Flood. ”
Xy asked me about my gifts. Is this what he meant? “Maybe Nicholas wasn’t so far off when he asked me if I could fly.”
“That kid’s perceptive.”
I grunt in response. No, the whole thing is ridiculous. Just a fairy tale, and I’m too old to fall for a good yarn. “Anyway, I assume God succeeded, so why does any of this concern me?”
“Apparently not. The Bible says that there were giants in the days before the Flood, and also after. But there’s more. There are more recent tales of giants, too, and not just in Biblical stories.”
“Oh, goodie.” I squirm on the sofa. Nina touches my arm, giving me her soft look again. “No, I’m fine. I’m just… let’s just stay on the old tales, first. What were these giants like that made them so evil?”
“Cannibalism, mostly. They ate their way through the human populace. Also, they lacked empathy and were power-mad. Also, unlike you, they were said to be about twelve feet tall. Goliath was a giant.”
“Him again.”
But a wave of cool relief sweeps over me. Unfortunately, it stutters halfway through and turns into a crushing emotion I can’t understand.
Or, maybe I do. Big people, even horrible giants, would give me a background I currently lack.
But I’m a man. I’m not given to introspection.
I act, I shut away feelings that don’t serve me, and I go about my day.
Sure, one day I fully expect the tower of thoughts I don’t think about to topple over on me, but I don’t expect it to be today.
“What are you thinking?” Nina asks, as if reading my thoughts.
And I have a choice: wave her off, or give her honesty. And really, that’s no choice at all, not if I want to keep her.
So, I choose the second. “I’m thinking that my feelings are mixed.
I’m not twelve feet tall. I’m eight and a half.
That makes me human, which is good. On the other hand, I find myself the tiniest bit disappointed, because for a brief moment, I thought I might be getting a peek at my ancestry.
For an adopted child, there are always unanswered questions.
We never really feel complete because we never really know ourselves.
But more than that, I’m relieved. I’d never want to be anything but human.
That would be horrible. I love my community.
I have zero desire to stand outside it.”
“That’s a lot.”
“It is, but I’m handling it.” Famous last words. “Cool story, but it helps that none of it is true.”
Her lips purse. She looks like she’s debating with herself before she says, “I think, though, there might be something to it. Hear me out?”
And almost, I say no. But I can’t. It’s impossible to turn away from knowledge, and equally as impossible to turn away from her, so I nod.
“First point is that you’re not evil, Sampson.”
“Hah. Bet you wouldn’t have said that before I rescued you out of a tree and gave you an orgasm.”
“Well, I would have been wrong. You’re kind down to your bones, which is another difference between you and the Nephilim.
Not twelve feet tall. Not evil. Besides, I would have called you a pompous, judgmental asshole before you rescued me and gave me the orgasm of my life, but I wouldn’t have said you were inherently bad. ”
“Of your life?” I ask, distracted, as she no doubt intends me to be. But I don’t care. Give me a man who won’t crow at the compliment, and I’ll give you a piece of stone.
“Fast, soul-wrenching, and lasting.”
Fine. I suddenly feel a whole lot better.
She reaches for one of the modern books and flips through it.
“I bring up the evil part of the description of giants because of the red-haired giants of North America. This work is a compilation of all the known information and speculation about them. Their bones have been found across the globe, but definitely across the United States. Legends of them have come down through various indigenous tribes that were alive during the time they are believed to have existed, which at their end wasn’t that far back, strangely enough.
Within five hundred years, for sure. They were said to possess red hair, light eyes—usually green or blue, double rows of teeth, negative blood type—though this last is mere speculation—and stood between eight and twelve feet tall.
And yes, the North American giants could be as small as eight feet, but they differed from you in that the skeletal remains were said to contain six fingers and six toes on each hand and foot.
Last I counted, you have five. Big difference. ”
The chill that bites through me punches bone deep. And in that moment, everything inside me turns, revolts, and settles.
I don’t want to believe. But I do.
For just a moment, I fist the hands that I hold out to show her. It’s hard to open them, but I do it because… because she’s got the right to know. She’s part of this uncovering. Plus, if she’s going to be my future, and I think I want her to be, she needs to know everything about me.
Even so, spreading my fingers so she can view the in-between is nearly impossible. “See the large space between my pinkies and ring fingers?”
When she gasps, I know she understands. “Did your parents…?”
“No, not the Deans. I was left at MFD when I was about six months old. My birthdate is really just a good guess. Anyway, surgery had already been performed on my hands and feet, cutting off what would have been my sixth fingers and toes.” And the heaviness of what I’m saying drops through me.
“My parents said… they said it was a sign that my birth parents loved me, that they’d had a barbaric surgery performed so that I would be more adoptable, even though my parents also assured me in the same breath that people are born all the time with more fingers and toes than the norm.
Honestly, it hasn’t been a huge concern of mine, but Xy mentioned blending with the local population.
He said something about The Council wanting me to mix in.
Maybe…” I can barely push out the words.
The reality of what the books say compared to me is…
damning. “Maybe that’s what he meant? That parts of me were cut off so that I’d look more human? ”
Maybe I could ignore ancient tales of Biblical Nephilim. It’s harder to ignore more recent claims of eight-foot giants with six fingers and toes. And red hair. I have red hair. I’ve got the height. I’ve got the extra digits, or had them. And…
I close my eyes, my green eyes, and try to get my bearings, but they slip away. Because I’ve also got a double-row of teeth, don’t I? And the blood… yeah, that too.
Nina smooths my chest. “You can’t think you were planted here? I mean, why? What would be the purpose?”