Chapter 8
HUDSON
Goosebumps erupted across my skin as the now-cold water beat against my body. I’d gone from being hot enough to combust twenty minutes ago to nervous chills rattling my bones.
In all the mental calculations I’d made before developing my great idea to watch a sexy show with Leo, I never considered jerking off together as a possible outcome.
Bolting wasn’t on my list of possibilities either.
I’d expected to gauge his reaction to the naked guy stuff, then spend days—more like weeks or months—calculating my next move.
Assuming I worked up the nerve to make one .
I rested my forehead against the shower wall.
Earlier, I’d naively had myself half convinced that maybe Leo liked guys, and I just didn’t know.
We’d never declared our sexualities to each other, and I’d assumed he was as straight as me.
I tugged my hair. Everything had gotten ten times more complicated since I’d woken up yesterday.
I hadn’t bolted because I was ashamed of what we’d done but because, in the post-orgasm clarity, I worried I liked it too much . That it would mean something to me but not to him. Ever-chill Leo would’ve held up his dirty palm and laughed it off. But me racing out of there made it “An Issue.”
The rapidly freezing water chased me out of the shower. I’d needed two closed doors between me and my shame, so there was no way I could even look at myself in the mirror as I dried off.
If the universe was on my side, I could get away with hiding in my room until morning. I might get lucky. Leo could take off early to give us space, and by the time Monday rolled around, we would be back to normal. Yeah, right.
I wrapped the towel around my waist, opened the bathroom door, and stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of Leo sprawled on my bed, arms tucked behind his head as he rested on one of my pillows. Not a care in the world. I cautiously stepped into my bedroom.
I should’ve expected this. Leo and I’d had our fair share of roommate disagreements as we adapted to living together, which was understandable given our drastically different definitions of “keeping house” and his ridiculous habit of leaving uncovered butter on the counter like a heathen.
He liked to face arguments head-on, while I had a habit of letting them stew.
Leo stared at me—hard enough that I couldn’t look away. His gaze dragged up and down my body like a caress.
“Why are you looking at me like that? You’ve seen me without a shirt on before.”
Leo’s sexy smirk stole my breath. Leo? Sexy? Had I woken up in another timeline?
“ I have, but now I know what’s under the towel, and I have all the mental images to piece together for the full…package.” His eyes lingered on the package in question, which twitched under the too-small towel.
“And?” My voice shook as I stood rooted to the spot with my cat twining around my legs.
“I like it. A lot.”
My jaw unclenched when Leo’s expression softened into a familiar one.
I’d seen it the first time we met and he invited me to join his bowling team after I’d confessed I wasn’t very good.
He’d smiled like that when I opened up to him about the problems in my marriage and again when I told him we were getting divorced.
Leo employed that smile when things were particularly tough at work, and even when I’d gotten frustrated as we’d navigated living together and he pushed for us to sort it out.
That smile said everything would be okay.
I turned to my dresser to pull out a T-shirt and sleeping pants. “You’re here to talk, aren’t you?”
“It’s like you know me.”
Talking about feelings wasn’t my favorite thing, but Leo made it safe to try. I’d never experienced that with another person before. Not to the depth I had with him.
“Fine, but close your eyes.” When he started to argue, I glared at him over my shoulder.
He grinned and made a show of covering his eyes with his hands. I quickly dropped the towel and pulled on my sleep pants. When I looked back, he was peeking through his fingers.
“Cut me some slack. I like the view.”
My lips twitched.
After tugging a shirt on, I walked to the bed, sat stiffly against the headboard, and dropped my pillow onto my lap, hugging it close.
Leo sat up too. So close that our thighs touched.
The heat from that simple contact chased away the lingering chill from the shower.
General Ledger jumped on the bed and curled up at our feet.
Leo gasped. “She’s voluntarily sitting near me. Think she’s got a fever?” He spoke in a weird combination of stilted and overacting. He was a terrible liar but too good at withholding information.
“You won’t win an Oscar anytime soon for that performance.”
“What do you mean?”
I turned to him and saw fear flash in his eyes.
“I know about your TikTok.”
Leo’s entire body stiffened. I hadn’t decided how to tell him or how long I would let him go on with the charade in hopes he would confess.
I’d even considered making my own TikTok account to find out if the algorithm gods would be on my side and show him my videos, but at the moment, none of those ideas felt right.
If we were going to talk about what happened in the living room, we needed to clear the air on everything. And his omission hurt.
“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly.
His response surprised me. I’d half expected him to laugh it off or ask which video was my favorite. I couldn’t figure out why he’d spent so much time doing all that without sharing it with me. He was using my cat, for crying out loud.
“Can you tell me about it?” I kept my voice even.
He nodded and took a deep breath. “I was on TikTok a lot after the split, and the cat videos always cracked me up. You know how badly I wanted a pet.”
“But her allergies.”
“Yeah.” Leo bent his legs and hunched over his knees.
“General Ledger genuinely did hate me at first, but I saw a video with someone giving advice on how to woo a cat. So I started giving her treats and trying to get her to let me pet her. She did when we were alone, but when you were there, she continued acting aloof.”
He looked me in the eye, and I lost myself momentarily. The dark depths of them sucked me in.
“And you seemed to love that she only paid attention to you. I didn’t want to ruin that.
” He looked back down at his knees. “Then I recorded a funny video of her and posted it on a whim, and it got a lot of likes, so I just started doing it more and more. I wanted to tell you so many times. But when the first one went viral and I hadn’t told you yet, it seemed too late.
Then as more time passed, it just became harder and harder to do it.
” Leo squeezed his knees so hard his knuckles turned white.
I covered Leo’s hand with mine and gently squeezed. He dropped his head on my shoulder.
“I really am sorry. The videos do well, and she’s earned some money, so I put all of it into an account to use if she ever has any vet bills or an emergency. All the money is there for her. For you. We could buy a lifetime supply of that kitty ganja catnip shit she loves if you want.”
A laugh bubbled out of me at the image of filling a kiddie pool full of it and letting her roll around. It would make one heck of a video.
“I wish you would’ve told me. It hurts that you kept something so big from me, but I’m glad to know now. Promise no more secrets?” We needed to talk about it more, but that was enough for now.
“No more secrets. Promise.” He lifted his head from my shoulder and held out his pinky.
I hooked mine around it. He covered our connected hands with his free one.
“Okay, one more secret. She leaves your room every night during her kitty witching hour and comes to sleep with me for a while.” The words spilled out of him in a rush.
I yanked my hand from his. “Are you forking kidding me? My cat sleeps with you? I can’t believe sh?—”
Leo leaned in and shut me up with a gentle but firm press of his lips against mine.
The pressure of his lips, the scratch of his five o’clock shadow, the squeeze of his hand on my thigh.
His tongue barely teased the seam of my mouth before he pulled back to press his forehead against mine.
It was over before it started, and I wanted more.
It’d been a while since I’d kissed anyone and much longer since I’d had a first kiss with someone.
Maybe it was my comfort with Leo or that we fit together, but it was hands-down the best first kiss I’d ever had. Brief as it was.
“You did that to shut me up.”
He laughed lightly. “A little, but also in case you thought I was comfortable jerking off next to you but not touching you.”
Now that shut me up.
After a long moment, I cleared my throat. “We’re coming back to the cat thing.”
His wide smile overtook his handsome face. “I don’t doubt it.”
The emotional roller coaster of the day caught up with me at that moment, and my jaw practically unhinged with a wide yawn. He tucked a pillow behind me and encouraged me to sprawl out. Then he did the same, which made General Ledger hop onto the cat tree and scowl at us from her perch.
“Does this feel weird to you?” he asked, tracing his finger along my forearm.
“It feels weird that it doesn’t feel weird. If that makes sense.”
“It actually makes perfect sense.”
I dragged my finger across my lips. “How long has this, whatever it is, been going on for you?” I was afraid of his answer but had to know.
He was quiet for a moment. “I’m not sure.
” Confusion laced his voice. “Pretty sure I never consciously thought about it with any man before yesterday since I assumed I was straight, but it’s been there.
Lurking. Taking over a bigger part of my brain the longer I’ve known you.
Then Ollie’s teasing must’ve finally penetrated my thick skull.
Maybe I’ve had these feelings for you for a while but mistakenly labeled them as a deep friendship. ”
“No one is safe from Ollie’s cupid arrow.”
Leo aimed his soulful eyes at me. “He got to you too, huh?”
“His comments never affected me before, but he cranked it up a notch last night. I couldn’t brush it off any longer.”
Leo’s hand slid up my arm and then over my waist as he laughed. “He sure did. You should’ve heard him at work yesterday.”
“That bad?”
“Intense, but not bad. We texted a lot during your class today, and when I basically accused him of planting the idea in my head, he said something that keeps running through my mind.” A crease formed on Leo’s forehead as he seemed to try to find the right words.
“He suggested that if the idea of me wanting you was so preposterous, I would easily dismiss it. But the fact I’m so affected might mean there’s something to it. ”
I hung on to every word, considered them for a minute, and… wow .
“I hate to say it, but Ollie’s a smart guy. I’ll never tell him that, though, because his ego is big enough already.”
I soaked up the tingles from Leo’s touch. I wanted to give him something since he was being so open with me. He deserved that much.
“This feels both so sudden and not new at all.” I pressed my temple against Leo’s shoulder. I reached for his hand at the same time he reached for mine. “I’m worried we’ll mess up what we have.”
“It seems to me that what we have or could have is what we already do, plus sex and cuddles. That seems pretty great to me.”
My smile grew as Leo’s words settled over me. I couldn’t argue with his logic.
“What do we do now?”
“Tonight, we’ll share a bed to save Ledgie from having to disrupt her beauty sleep, then tomorrow, we’ll have a date.
How about I cook dinner here? Baby steps?
” Leo’s uncertain expression melted my heart.
I understood wanting to test out this fragile new thing between us in the comfort of our home without prying eyes as we found our footing.
I rolled over onto him and slid my fingers into his hair, kissing him deeply, soaking up the feel of him, his scent. “As long as it doesn’t have too much garlic.”
He wrapped an arm around my waist. “If we both eat garlic before making out, it’s fine.”