Chapter 50
EVANGELINE
Hands trembling, I try again to punch in the code on Alaric’s door.
On the third failed attempt, a pathetic whimper escapes me. I slump, unsure that I have the energy to try again, but mercifully, the door swings open.
“God, I missed you.” He pulls me over the threshold and folds me into a hug.
I’m numb as I limply loop my arms around him and inhale deeply, hoping that his familiar sent and warm embrace will take the edge off.
Burying my face in his chest, I whisper, “That was awful.”
The media event. Sitting beside him, pretending he’s nothing more than my boss. Luca’s comments. Being forced not to react, then to just go our separate ways—each carrying on as if we weren’t moments from setting our lives on fire.
I’m still reeling, and I haven’t even begun to process the potential fallout.
This afternoon, when Alaric entered the cafeteria while I was working at a table in the corner, he greeted the culinary team and made his rounds to the employees enjoying their lunch like he always does.
But when he passed me, he only skimmed the tips of his fingers along the tabletop.
That was the closest we came to interacting all afternoon. He didn’t even look my way.
“It really was,” he acknowledges, rubbing my back. “I’m so, so sorry, angel.”
I believe him. He’s hurting, too. But that doesn’t take away my pain.
“What do you need?” He angles back, peering down at me.
I blow out a long breath, really considering the question. “Carbs,” I whisper. “A hot bath. The night we had planned, honestly. Knowing I was coming home to you was what kept me going all day.”
He hugs me tighter, kissing the top of my head. “It won’t always be this hard.”
I revel in the reassurance, soaking in the comfort he bestows.
It won’t always be this hard.
Maybe it’s foolish after what went down today, but I can’t help but feel like what we’re doing is worth it.
The door to the bathroom creaks open and Alaric steps in. I’ve been in the tub for so long that I’ve had to add hot water twice. I could spend another hour in here. I’m just now starting to feel like my shoulders aren’t glued to my ears.
I peek over the edge of the tub and track his movements.
He strides into the room, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it. He undoes his button and fly, then steps out of his pants.
“Dinner’s done. I’ve got it warming in the oven. Scoot forward,” he instructs, tipping his chin my way.
Gladly.
I sit up and shimmy toward the middle of the tub.
I can’t help but ogle him as he steps out of his boxer briefs and continues my way.
He catches me looking and smirks. “Like what you see?” There’s a flirtatious hint to his tone, but it lacks any true playfulness.
“Always,” I tell him, offering a soft smile.
Neither one of us is okay, but we survived this hellacious day. And for at least one more night, we can pretend that what we’re doing isn’t bound to blow up in our faces.
That was my biggest takeaway from the media event.
We’re too far gone with this relationship to come out unscathed.
Someone is going to get hurt. In fact, there’s a good chance we’ll both get hurt with the way things are going.
It’s only a matter of time before our relationship is exposed.
Maybe it would be better if we came forward on our own terms.
But would he even want that?
We agreed to operate under a veil of secrecy. If that’s not sustainable, where does that leave us?
Alaric climbs into the tub, and once he’s seated, I move back, positioning myself between his legs. The water is precariously close to the edge now, but I love being submerged and simultaneously wrapped up in his arms.
“Lean back.” He encircles my waist and positions me so I’m sitting on his lap, my back flush against his chest with his erect cock lined up along my center.
With his fingers laced with mine, he glides our joined hands up and down my sternum, then draws circles on my stomach.
He keeps a slow, soothing rhythm as he strokes my skin, leaving no part of me untouched.
Everywhere he grazes feels good and solid and warm, wiping away all the heartache and stress from the day.
Every touch inspires a sense of reassurance, every caress restorative.
I tip my head back and meet his gaze. “What do you need right now?”
He’s always so quick to tend to my needs, but we both suffered today, and I don’t even know what went down between him and Luca after the event was over.
He nuzzles into my neck, the scruff from his five-o’clock shadow grating against my skin in a way that both tickles and turns me on.
“I just need to hold you. To know that you’re in my arms. That when we’re together like this, I can provide the comfort and solace you need.”
I hum, eyes closing. It’s so like him to turn the offer back on me. I believe him, though. Wholeheartedly. I’ve learned over the last few weeks that Alaric really does revel in taking care of me, in small ways and with grand gestures.
Sighing, I turn my head and rest my cheek on his pec. “You’re sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”
He tightens his hold, and his lips find my forehead.
“My sole purpose is to be a safe place for you to land tonight. If you need to scream, scream at me. If you need to sob, because what happened this morning was utter bullshit, I’ll catch every tear.
If you need to throw something at my head or curse me out for creating such a despicable human, I’ll stand still and take it all. ”
I twist around, hating the reminders of those few moments on stage. When our gazes collide, I’m met with harrowing remorse.
“No amount of apologizing or groveling can counteract what you endured today. Let me be your sounding board and the safe place for you to process.”
I swallow thickly, emotion clogging my throat.
“I don’t think I’m worth all this trouble,” I confess.
Water sloshes as he catches my chin and scowls. “Don’t you dare talk about the woman I lov—”
He cuts himself off, but it’s too late. I heard it. I see it in the way he looks at me; feel it in his every touch. We’ve never exchanged those words before, and yet it was right there, on the tip of his tongue.
I feel like I’m toppling over the side of a cliff. Breathless wonder and all-encompassing disorientation encircle us as we stare at each other and I silently beg for him to finish that thought.
He doesn’t.
In a gentler tone, he says, “You’re worth everything. Never doubt how much you mean to me or what I’ll do to ensure your happiness.”
The trajectory of this conversation is overwhelming. Yet I need to be closer.
“Will you hold me?” I ask, turning in his arms.
“Always.” He adjusts my legs by hooking them around his hips. Then he pulls me flush against his chest. Stroking up and down my back, he comforts me in a way that quiets the noise in my head and eases the trembling in my limbs.
Today really was awful. This has gotten messy. But there’s solace in knowing Alaric isn’t questioning what we have.
I’m not questioning us either. If anything, today only solidified my desire to be with him, no matter the cost.
Luca’s unsolicited attack had the power to tear us apart. Instead, it brought us closer.
Awash with gratitude, I squeeze him tighter, then plant a kiss on his neck. He stretches to the side, offering me better access, and I respond on instinct, placing kiss after kiss on all the damp skin I can find.
I work my way to his Adam’s apple, more turned on with each second that passes, aching to feel him slide home.
Nudging his nose with mine, I murmur, “Will you fuck me, please?”
He nips at my bottom lip and weaves a hand into my wet hair and tugs. When I gasp, he slips his tongue into my mouth, teasing and stroking mine.
“In here?” he asks between kisses.
I grasp him, lining him up at my entrance. The water makes it a bit of a challenge for him to breach me, but as soon as the tip is in, I know this is exactly what I need.
“Right here. Right now. I don’t want to think about anything that happened today. I just want to feel you inside me.”
With a groan, he thrusts up, causing water to slosh on the floor.
Clinging to him, I wiggle my hips, taking him deeper, and with one arm still wrapped around me, he braces himself against the side of the tub, creating more leverage.
“Play with your tits,” he demands.
I eagerly obey, sliding my hands between our slick bodies and pinching my nipples in time with his shallow thrusts. He’s only about halfway in. It’s frustrating, yet each time he slides out and slips in again and I see his cock spearing me through the water, my desire only ratchets up.
“Fuck.” I drop my chin to my chest, enamored by the sight of my lower lips stretched around his impressive length.
“That’s it, baby. You’re such a good girl, asking for what you want from me. I’m so proud of you.”
Eyes closed, I tip my head back, soaking in his praise.
“You’re a goddess,” he breathes, his thumb finding my clit. “So pretty. So perfect. Taking what you want. Riding me and using me for your pleasure.”
I cry out, the promise of release inching closer with each move he makes.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I’m obsessed with you, angel. I can’t get enough.”
He shifts his hand lower, abandoning my clit and rubbing at the place we’re joined.
I’m soaring higher when, without warning, he pulls out. I cry out again, this time in objection.
“Wrap your hand around me.”
Flustered, I plunge my hand into the water and search for his hard length.
“That’s my girl,” he encourages as I encircle him. “Now, here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to stroke you right here—” He slips two fingers inside me, dragging them against my G-spot and pressing hard against my inner wall.
I clench on instinct, perfectly attuned to his touch.
He groans. “And you’re going to rub that big, fat cock you love so much on your clit until you come.”
Fuck.
Yes.
Okay.
“Are you with me?” he asks.
His words pull me out of my wandering thoughts. For a moment, I was lost, picturing the scene he just laid out for me rather than actually experiencing it.
“Yes.” I shift until his crown presses against my achy clit.
“Use me,” he commands. “Hard. Fast. Whatever you need, I’m yours.”
He strokes my inner walls slowly, but with the most intense, delicious pressure. Every time he crooks his fingers against my G-spot, a ripple of pleasure courses through me. When he opens and closes his fingers inside me, that ripple turns into zaps of electricity.
Though I could come like this, I follow instructions and drag his tip back and forth over my clit. The water creates exquisite friction, heat swirling into a cyclone of pleasure that gathers deep in my core.
We find a rhythm, and before long, little bursts of light dance along the edges of my vision.
“Fuck, baby. I can feel you tensing around my fingers,” he grits out.
I grind forward, rubbing him against my bundle of nerves, then do it again and again until I’m right. Fucking. There.
“Alaric,” I cry out as pleasure explodes inside me, surges through my limbs, and reaches the tips of my fingers and toes.
I press my body to his, my orgasm taking over. I’m coming hard, my release layered and deep. Pleasure builds higher, even as I unravel. My body hums with energy, the blended orgasm hitting a second peak when he presses his fingers into my G-spot and holds.
I cry again out, slumping against him, lost to a level of euphoria I’ve never experienced.
“Fuck.” He removes his hand and pulls me closer as the warmth of his release mixes with the water between us.
I haven’t even caught my breath before the first giggle escapes.
Brow furrowed, he searches my face. “What?”
I bury my head in his neck, laughing harder.
“Angel,” he scolds, craning back. “Are you okay?”
Okay? I’m beyond okay.
I’m fan-fucking-tastic.
“I just used you like a dildo,” I manage to say before a snort works its way out of me.
He scowls, but the expression quickly morphs into a smile.
“I told you I wanted to be whatever you needed.” He pulls me closer and wraps both arms around my low back.
He did. And he was.
“Did you like that?” There’s a timidness to the question, one that does require I get it together and give him a sincere answer.
Leaning back enough to lock eyes, I whisper, “I loved it. I—”
Sighing, I force myself to hold back.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
I settle in his arms once again, grounded and settled and feeling deeply loved.
Because that’s what this is, the connection swelling between us. With each passing day, and through each trial we face together, I’m falling more in love with this man.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him. To put the idea out there, knowing that it won’t spook him or make him think I’m coming on too strong.
But I hold back.
It’s been a hell of a day. We’re both still recovering from our release. My words will keep, because how I feel right now is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
I’m in love.
And despite all the challenges that come with this relationship and the hardships we’ll have to face, I trust in what we’re building. I trust in us and everything we’ll be. There’s no rush to say the words just yet, because deep down, I’m certain that Alaric loves me, too.