Chapter 62
ALARIC
Ican’t sleep. That’s nothing new.
Though tonight, I also can’t stop pacing, and I have yet to touch anything from the room service tray I ordered an hour ago.
Seeing Evangeline earlier was the brightest spot in my week. Walking away from her was agony.
But it was necessary. I fucked up. I apologized. I asked for her to take me back once and she denied me. She set clear boundaries, and I will not disrespect them by asking again. This time, she has to come to me.
Actions speak louder than words. It’s why I’ve worked tirelessly to support my son and encourage him to make amends.
It’s why I spent tens of thousands of dollars transforming my garage into a dedicated studio space for the next few weeks and any other time she wants.
It’s why I’ve spent all my free time brainstorming how I can add value to Evangeline’s life in both big and small ways.
Yet I still fear I haven’t done enough.
“Let it be,” I mutter, stalking around the room like a caged animal.
Let it be, let it be, let it be.
I can’t settle. Can’t focus. And when my phone vibrates in my pocket, I nearly jump out of my skin.
A notification appears on the screen informing me that Evangeline is live.
She didn’t have a live stream scheduled for tonight. But I guess it makes sense she would hop on and test her new space.
I pocket my phone, urging myself to resist watching her. My resolve lasts six minutes.
With my breath locked in my lungs, I click into the video and sink onto the bed.
My god. She’s stunning.
My hand drifts to my chest, rubbing at the ever-present ache.
“I have a studio now,” she’s explaining, her voice cracking on the last word.
“A real, legitimate studio.” She laughs then, looking around the space.
“I’m not here to sell anything or take any orders.
I’m just feeling incredibly blessed and supported right now, and I needed to share this moment with someone. ”
I should be there.
God dammit, I would give anything to be there with her now.
“My life has changed a lot over the last few months.” She looks into the camera as if she’s looking right into my soul.
“Today, someone did something for me that was so selfless and kind. It means the world to me. I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.
But I didn’t get to properly thank that person.
A lot of you know how it is… if we’re overwhelmed or slow to process emotions, we ruminate later and often wish the things we wanted to say had come to us in the moment.
“That’s why I wanted to go live tonight. To share that message. If you’re struggling or feeling like you missed an opportunity or regret something you said or didn’t say… it’s not too late. It’s never too late.”
I stare at my phone, mouth agape, my thoughts firing in a million different directions.
She’s talking to me.
Isn’t she? Or maybe she’s talking about me.
I have to go.
Even if she can’t fathom the idea of being together, even if it’s still no right now, I need to make sure she understands that I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if it’s months from now or even years. I have no intention of ever moving on from her.
I can give her time and space. I can even begrudgingly accept that she may move on and date other people. But I’ll always be waiting. In the end, it’s going to be me and her.
It’ll never be too late for us.