Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jax
My phone rings as I haul groceries for my date with Lauren into the house. I had to buy the wine separately, on the other end of town, because I didn’t want anyone asking questions. I didn’t realize how complicated keeping up the ruse would be, and it’s only been about five days.
I fish my phone from my pocket and answer the FaceTime call. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“You look busy,” Charlie notes. “Am I calling at a bad time?”
“No, I have about an hour,” I say, setting the bag down on the counter.
“Where are you going?” He tilts the phone as if that will help him see a different angle on his screen.
“Nowhere.”
“Is that a bottle of wine?”
“Oh, yeah.” I fold the bag over so that he can’t see the rest of the contents. “My mom and Aunt Carol asked me to pick one up. I’m having dinner with them.”
“I thought you said you weren’t going anywhere.” He furrows his brow. “Also, none of you drink. If you did, we would’ve gotten into way more trouble in high school.” His smile is big, but only until he remembers what’s going on. “Wait, are you going to see a girl?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“It’s totally a girl. I can see it on your face. This isn’t just any girl either. You like her.” His face morphs into pure glee. “Holy crap! Is it Shelby Miller? I heard she’s back in town.”
“You think I’d be going to all this trouble for the girl Austin was seen out with a couple months after he broke Lauren’s heart? No way.”
“Then who is it?”
I sigh. “She wants to keep things low-profile. I’m just trying to respect her wishes.”
“I hope not for long. You’re not someone’s dirty little secret.”
I roll my eyes and flop into a chair at my dining room table. “It might not be such a bad thing she wants to keep it a secret. I’m not exactly the kind of guy you go parading around town with, as you made clear the other night.”
He shifts his gaze down, a look of shame on his face. I think that’s what I wanted, to know he regrets what he said.
“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to be so harsh.
” He scratches the back of his head, wincing.
Charlie has never been the greatest at talking about his feelings with me.
“I think the world of you. You’re my best friend.
I just want my sister to find someone who’s willing to commit.
It doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re capable.
I may or may not have had a crappy night when I called her.
I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Plus, I thought calling you out would push you. ”
I can’t help but sit a little straighter. He sees my potential.
Charlie waggles his brows. “I guess I didn’t need to push you since you’re over there pulling out all the stops for a lady.”
Yep, I’m avoiding that landmine. “Do you want to talk about your crappy night?”
“Nah, that’s in the past now.” He shakes his head. “I just want you to know I’m not a shitty friend. I believe in you, and I love you, man.”
I want to tell him my “lady” is his sister, and that I have full intention of committing, but it’d be unfair to Lauren if I burst out with this information without talking with her first, so instead, I say, “This is getting weird.”
He laughs. “Okay, okay. In all seriousness, is she hot?”
I wince. This just got weirder.
When he starts to sense my hesitation, I blurt out, “She’s more than hot. She’s stunning, like walk-into-a-room-and-make-everyone-stop-what-they’re-doing stunning. She’s smart, kind, funny, and driven. She’s incredible.”
“Well, sheesh. This sounds like love. That was fast.”
“I’m not in love,” I rush to say, knowing it’s not the full truth.
After a beat, Charlie adds, “I’m happy for you. I know it’s scary to put your heart on the line, but there’s no better feeling than opening up to someone.”
“Do you have a girl I don’t know about?” I tease, but I’m actually a little curious.
“No, I don’t have time for girls with work, but I know what it’s like to fall in love.” His tone is soft and withdrawn, and I suddenly know exactly what he’s talking about, or more accurately, who he’s talking about. The only woman he’s ever loved, and the woman he lost: Callie.
“You know she hasn’t dated anyone since you left.”
“Who?” He narrows his brows as if he’s confused.
“Don’t play dumb with me. You know who I’m talking about.”
“I made my choice. I don’t have the right to care about her love life.”
“It doesn’t mean you couldn’t change your mind.” I shift my phone in my hands, swallowing my pride. “We miss you here.”
“I miss you too. I’m even starting to miss Roots a little. It’s freaking me out.” He chuckles, clearly trying to hide the lump forming in his throat.
“You’re coming to town for the holidays, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a week.”
Glancing at the calendar, an idea pops into my head. If I’m going to be the kind of man Lauren would want to tell the world about, then I need to start practicing what I preach. “Will you come hunting with me while you’re here?”
“Oh, hell yeah. It’s been too long since we’ve headed up to the cabin.”
“Agreed.” A text from Lauren appears on my screen. “I better get going. I have a few things I gotta get organized here.”
“Good luck on your date, love bug.”
I scoff. “See you later.”
When I hang up, I sit there for a moment, wondering what Charlie would think if he knew. After our conversation today, I’d like to think maybe he’d be okay with it. I guess time will tell.
Callie drops me off in Lauren’s driveway to help us stay incognito.
She talks the whole drive, but I can’t focus on anything she has to say because my stomach is in free fall.
I shouldn’t be nervous. We’ve already been on a few sort-of dates, but I’m terrified that being back in town after some space will make her change her mind.
Despite the fear, there’s also been more light in my days since I kissed Lauren. I care a little less about how I’m being perceived, and I have hope. I’m not ready to let that go so easily.
As I gather my bags, Charlie’s words ring through my mind.
He actually sounded proud of me, like maybe the problem has been the way I’ve portrayed myself.
Maybe the secret to not turning into my father has always been to shift my perspective.
I might be the only one who saw me as a monster.
I’m confident this thing between Lauren and me is a positive thing, not only because I love being with her, but also because it gives me the chance to prove I’m not the man I’m scared of turning into.
Once Callie’s truck is parked in the drive, Lauren rushes out of her house, thanking Callie for her help before turning to greet me.
With her excited and innocent gaze on me, I melt. “Hi, Freckles.”
“Hi. Can I help you with your bag of goodies?”
She reaches out, but I know she just wants to look inside. Tugging the groceries to my other side, I brush past her. “No way. This is a surprise.”
“Come on. Please.” She draws out the e and gives me her best puppy-dog eyes. “I hate surprises anyway.”
“You just don’t like giving up control. It’s good for you to do every once in a while.”
“I think I got my fair share in Tulsa.” She reaches out again.
I thrust an arm out to stop her. “If you want to see what’s in this bag then let me inside. You can see it all there.”
“Fine.”
She opens her front door, revealing the upbeat tune of “All I Want for Christmas is a Cowboy.”
“You know, I wouldn’t exactly call blasting music going incognito. Are you trying to get the attention of all the cowboys who pass by?”
She and I both know not many people come to this corner of the ranch.
She’s tucked away from everything and everyone.
I think that’s part of why she chose to live out here instead of closer to the bunkhouse or the big house.
With everything Lauren does in the day-to-day, she could use the peace and quiet… to blast her music, I guess.
Rolling her eyes, Lauren closes the door behind her. “I do this all the time.”
“Would you like to dance?”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
I nod, extending a hand and spinning her around. The song is nearly over, but I love the spark in her eyes as we sway for a few seconds.
When it ends, she turns the music down. “Speaking of dancing. Would you be willing to go to swing lessons again? I had a really good time last time, and I’d like to know more than one dance.
I could go without you, but I don’t want another partner.
” She twists her hands in front of her, speaking faster now.
“I know we’re trying to keep this a secret, so we’ll have to figure out a way not to make it too obvious, but—”
I pull her into my arms to stop her rambling. “Of course I’ll go with you. You can go with the girls, and then I’ll offer to cut in like last time. Maybe we’ll get lucky and there’ll be an odd number.”
“I could probably ask Callie or Olivia to sit out if there’s an even number, but I don’t want to ask them to do that.”
“You know they’d do it for you in a heartbeat.”
“I do, but I don’t know that I should ask them to.” She leans on the counter, trying to peer into my bag.
I pin her with a glare. “I see what you’re doing, Freckles.” Folding the top half of the bag over, I add, “I don’t think Olivia would mind stepping out for dance lessons. She kind of sucks.”
“Hey, she tries!”
“She does.” I laugh. “Well, it’s settled. I’ll do lessons with you again. You just have to promise not to make out with me in the middle of the dance floor.”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, please. If anyone has to hide anything it’s you. You’re the one who’s going to want to kiss me.”
“We’ll see about that.”