Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Jax
Before we left for our trip, Charlie and I agreed to let Lauren sleep in while we’re here. She needs the rest more than she needs to be included in our almost inevitable failure this morning.
On my way to the kitchen, I grab Bella from her kennel and let her outside to do her business.
Then I creep back to the coffee pot with her in my arms as I try my best to avoid all the squeaky spots in the floorboards.
Even though it’s been a few years since I’ve been up to the cabin, Charlie and I came here enough in high school and into college that I’ve practically memorized them.
Charlie joins me while the coffee brews. He’s already dressed, which makes me wonder if he even slept at all, but he smiles brightly as he greets Bella and me. Maybe the time alone was exactly what he needed to get his head on straight.
The coffee maker stops, and Charlie isn’t shy about taking the first cup. He’s always been a coffee fiend.
“This is probably the first time we’ve been alone together since I got into town, huh?” he notes, blowing on the steaming mug.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“We’ll have a lot to catch up on.”
He’s still smiling, but there’s something in his tone that sends me into high alert. Ignoring it, I pull Bella closer to my chest. “Yeah, I want to hear all about your life in Hollywood, and everywhere else for that matter. Have you still been traveling a lot for work lately?”
He rolls his eyes. “You and I both know I don’t live in Hollywood, and my life isn’t that glamorous. I’m more interested in what I’ve been missing out on at home.”
“Eh, you know Roots. Not much happens around here.”
He sets down his mug, reaching for a thermos in the cabinets to take the rest of his coffee for the road.
“Want one?” He holds out a blue thermos with some cheesy saying about hunting on it.
“I’m good. I haven’t been drinking much of the stuff lately. I’m already going to be jittery.”
What I fail to mention is that I haven’t been drinking coffee because Lauren doesn’t drink it. She bought me coffee grounds and a coffee maker for her house, but I don’t need the extra zing of energy in the morning anymore when I’m with her.
It’s as if Charlie can tell I’m holding that information back because he eyes me closely, looking as if he wants to say something.
Pressing his lips together, he heads toward the door. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yup. Should we leave a note for Lauren to let her know when we left?”
“She’ll be fine.” His words have a bite to them, so I don’t argue.
I put Bella in her kennel, muttering an apology before I head to the garage to grab my bow and the rest of our gear.
The deer stand isn’t too far from the cabin, and the cold snap that swept through this part of Texas is long gone, so we opt to walk. It’s a little more discreet than taking the four wheelers.
As soon as we’ve set everything up in the stand, Charlie turns to me, a creepy smile on his face. “You have to fill me in on what happened with that girl you were seeing. You know, the one who wanted to keep things a secret?”
The hair on the back of my neck prickles as I note his grip tightening on his bow.
“There’s not much to tell.”
“Well, are you still seeing her?”
I nod.
“Do you love her?”
I grab the bill of my hat, tilting it down a bit. “You know me.”
“I thought I did.” He crosses his arms.
“What’s going on?”
He swivels toward me, anger in his eyes. “You tell me, Jaxon.”
I scoff. “Dude, you know that’s not my full name.”
“Well, calling you Jax didn’t pack enough punch.”
“Did you slip something in your coffee this morning without me noticing?”
He frowns, pinning me with a stony-eyed gaze that makes my stomach drop. He knows.
“What are you doing with my little sister?”
“Nothing!” I blurt instinctively.
Clearly that was the wrong answer because his facial expression darkens.
“You call that nothing? I heard you two last night. I can tell you right now that’s not nothing to her.
” He pokes me in the chest. “If you think I’m going to stand by and be okay with you messing around with her just because you’re my best friend, then you and I don’t know each other as well as I thought we did. ”
“That’s not what I meant.” I hold out my arms defensively. “I—we—I don’t know. I wanted to tell you, but our relationship is a little complicated. She’s been through a lot, so she was scared to tell people about us and have the chance for it to be ruined, but it’s always meant something to me.”
“So, you’re not just screwing around with her?” He drops his hand.
“No. I love her. So much. I want to tell her, but I’m terrified she doesn’t feel the same way.”
“What do you mean?” His brows knit together. “I heard everything you two said to each other last night. She’s clearly in love with you.”
“You heard us?”
“You forget the cabin was built in the twenties. It has incredibly thin walls and next to no insulation.”
I glance out into the field in front of us, processing everything. Finally, I turn back to him in disbelief. “You’re the worst.”
He chuckles. “If you didn’t want to be heard, then you shouldn’t have come here.”
We sit in silence for a while, me watching the grass blow in the wind, and him keeping his gaze on me in a way that makes my skin crawl.
I know he can tell I’m ignoring him, but that doesn’t stop him from asking, “So where do you two go from here?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I don’t want to screw things up.”
“That’ll only happen if you don’t tell her how you feel.”
“But she’s been through so much. She’s still learning to trust herself again and to trust someone else with her heart. I don’t want to scare her off.”
“Dude, she probably didn’t think she was going to date again for a long time after Austin, but here you two are.
” He lifts his hand to gesture in my direction.
“I know she still needs to work on not overloading herself, but she’s clearly very happy.
I think that happiness has a lot to do with you, so don’t mess this up by waiting forever to tell her how you feel.
She deserves to know she’s loved after everything she’s been through, don’t you think? ”
“Of course.”
“My sister loves you, and you love her. Let it be that simple.”
A deer creeps onto the field, but neither of us moves. The topic at hand is more important than the deer, and Charlie’s words hit hard. I’ve been holding back with Lauren for all the wrong reasons. She deserves to know I love her. I’ve already waited nine years to tell her.
Charlie cuts off my train of thought. “Can I ask you something?”
“Would it matter if I said no?”
“Probably not.” His lips quirk. “Why couldn’t you two tell me? I know you’ve been keeping your relationship a secret from everyone, but why didn’t you trust me with it?”
Guilt wraps its prickly tendrils around my heart. I reach out and clap my hand on his back. “It’s my fault. I thought you’d be upset with me. I was too scared to face the possibility of you not approving, but we were finally getting ready to tell you. You just beat us to it.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve been a crappy friend over the years.” He winces.
“No, it’s not that—”
He shakes his head. “I need you to know that as long as you treat my sister right, I’m going to be your number one fan. I’ll even be your wingman if you want. It’ll be just like old times.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Oh, come on. It’ll be so much better than before because I’m helping you tell my sister you love her instead of helping you get some.”
“You might still be helping me get some.” I wiggle my eyebrows.
“Oh god!” He throws his head back. When he brings it back up to meet my gaze, he fake gags. “That’s my sister you’re talking about. I know I’ve been cool about things, but I’ll change my mind in a heartbeat if this is how it’s going to be.”
“I’m just messing with you. Lauren is special.
” I pull my hat off, raking my hands through my hair.
“I promise I’m not messing around with her.
I’ve been in love with your sister for years, and I know she’s been through the wringer.
I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. I just want her to be happy and to see herself the way I see her. ”
Charlie softens. “If all that’s true, I couldn’t be happier for you two. My best friend and my sister. It doesn’t get much better, right?”
I nod, nervous laughter slipping from my lips. “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t.”
“Let me know if you change your mind and want my help telling her you love her. I do know her pretty well after all, and I consider myself a bit of a Cupid.”
“Cupid? When was the last time you even went on a date?”
“Why do you have to burst my bubble?” He throws his hands up in the air. “Besides, everyone knows Cupid doesn’t date. He helps other people.”
“Okay,” I draw out.
His face turns serious again. “Also, it’s my duty to let you know that if you ever hurt my little sister, I will kill you.” He shifts his bow in a manner that is the opposite of subtle. “I’m not too bad with this thing, so you better be careful.”
“Yeah, that’s why we haven’t shot anything yet, because you’re so great with a bow.”
Charlie’s prideful smile falls from his face, and he shoves my shoulder, hard. “Shut up.”
I snicker. My best friend knows about me and Lauren, and he’s okay with it—more than okay with it. We’re back to teasing each other like we always did. Everything feels right.
The buck is unfortunately long gone, so we sit in silence, watching the open field for a while longer before Charlie turns to me, rubbing his hands conspiratorially. “So, I know about you and Lauren, but she doesn’t know I know. We could have some fun with this.”