29. Too late – 1985
‘Andi came to see me today.’
Anton looked up from his reading. ‘Oh.’ He went back to his book, a new one about Bauhaus, as if he hadn’t already read everything there was to know about it.
But even though he’d probably read the same thing in a hundred other books, it was obviously far more interesting than Ursula’s announcement.
‘She’s leaving. Going to London.’
‘Probably for the best,’ he said, his eyes still on the page.
‘What do you mean?’
‘There will be more opportunity for her. There’s nothing here now that the business is closing.’
‘You knew. How did you know?’
He marked his page and closed the book. ‘It’s common knowledge in the business community.’
‘Why would the business community be interested in a little shop like Talulah?’
‘It’s not the shop but the money behind it. It’s the Frys we’re interested in.’
Yes, that made sense. They often entertained ‘the business community’ and from what Ursula could see of them, they were snidey, gossipy haters of both the little people and the big people.
She should have realised they’d be taking an active interest in Cass’s ruin.
No doubt they’d be hoping it was a signal that the Frys were in trouble.
But that didn’t answer another question that she was burning to ask. ‘If you knew, why didn’t you tell me?’
‘We discussed it a month ago.’
‘We did not.’
‘Yes we did. At Lorenzo's. With Simon and Cecily.’ He reached over and kissed her. ‘Perhaps you were too busy flirting with the waiter to hear.’
‘How dare you. I was not flirting.’ It was true, she definitely wasn’t flirting but she was enjoying the waiter flirting with her, and Simon and Cecily were very, very boring.
Perhaps she had missed the change in conversation from taxation to Talulah.
Unlikely, but not impossible. She also wanted to ask him about seeing Cass at the hospital, but that could wait because this conversation was moving in a direction they hadn’t been in for some time, and she was finally ready to go there with him. ‘He was flirting with me.’
Anton moved closer and ran his finger along her leg. ‘I can’t blame him for that. I would do the same if I were him.’
‘You, flirting? I’d like to see that.’
He pulled her to him. ‘This is me flirting.’
Ursula woke up before the alarm. Anton still had his arms around her.
She snuggled up to him, delighting in the feel of him next to her.
They’d made love last night for the first time since she’d been pregnant.
She’d cried when she came. Out of happiness, not sorrow.
She’d explained that to him. She was happy that they were back together again.
Properly together as lovers should be, because a marriage was nothing if you weren’t lovers too.
She turned around to face him and opened his eyes with a kiss. ‘Hello.’
He smiled. ‘Good morning. What time is it?’
She traced her fingers across his chest. ‘Time to be lovers again.’
Anton was singing in the shower. Something Swedish she thought.
It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime events that she should treasure.
Her husband was not a singer for two reasons.
One, it wasn’t in his nature. Two, he had an awful voice.
Awful voice or not, she didn’t care. Because Anton was singing, and she was feeling happy. Everything was going to be okay.
He kissed her again when he came down for breakfast. She’d done boiled eggs, ham and rye bread. A favourite from his childhood. ‘Are the eggs all right?’ she said. It had taken a long time to learn the art of boiling them so that they were neither too soft nor too hard.
‘Very good.’ Coming from him, that was high praise. ‘You still have the list from yesterday?’
‘Yes. Andi stayed for most of the day so I didn’t get round to it. I don’t think I’ll get much done today either. I’m going up town. I thought I’d look for that new dress. Your little house will have to put up with the dust for a bit longer.’
‘My poor house.’ He laughed. He really was in an unusually good mood.
‘You never said, did you find a new passion project when you finished the house?’
‘No need. I already had one.’
‘Really? What was that?’
‘You, my darling. You are my greatest creation yet. You are this close to perfection.’ He held his finger and thumb an inch apart and winked. He actually winked. Another first.
She slapped the back of her hand against his chest. ‘Cheeky sod.’
Ursula turned into Ethel Street. She’d gone the back way to avoid passing Anton’s office.
Last night and this morning had been so lovely, she’d decided not to mention she was going to Talulah.
Andi and Wanda wouldn’t be there, but it wasn’t them she was hoping to see.
It was Cass she was here for, and the shop itself.
She needed to see them both before it was too late.
Her heart broke when she saw the big closing down sale notice plastered across the windows.
It broke a little bit more when she opened the door and found only two sad looking rails of clothes.
There was no one manning the till. It hadn’t occurred to her that the shop would look any different to the last time she’d been here, and the reality was a shock.
Ursula went through to the back. At least the office looked the same, although that too was unoccupied.
Every step on the stairs creaked as she took them.
She’d once seen an old film about a ghost ship and she couldn’t help thinking about it as she walked along the top floor, checking every room for signs of life and wandering why there were none.
And then she came to the sewing room and stopped.
Her heart was like a drum and she felt sick, but she had to go in there.
If only to prove to herself there was a faint possibility that one day, she would sew again.
She pushed the door open. The sight made her gasp.
There was nothing left of it. It had been completely gutted.
Footsteps on the stairs brought her back out to the landing. They sounded too heavy for Cass but she called out anyway: ‘Cass, is that you?’
At first she didn’t recognise the man in the car coat, jumper and slacks. She couldn’t remember seeing him without his trademark suit and tie. Selective memory perhaps.
Her father’s eyebrows knitted together as he looked her up and down. ‘Ursula. You’re looking well. A little thin. Are you eating properly?’
It struck her as a bizarre thing to say, although perhaps in his mind it was a perfectly natural follow on from the last thing he’d said to her. Right before he’d walked out on them: ‘Be a good girl.’
‘I came to see Cass,’ she said, in case he thought she might be here for him.
‘She’ll be back soon. Would you like to wait?’
‘Not if it means waiting with you.’
He gave her a smile that was so like her own it was unnerving. ‘I can stay in the office. I’m tidying up the paperwork.’
She shook her head and tried to pass him.
‘I hear you married Anton Moller.’
Ursula stopped in her tracks. ‘You know Anton?’
‘He designed the house I live in now. Did an excellent job too. You made a good choice. Well done.’
If she’d thought it was impossible to feel any more hate for this man, he’d just proved her wrong. ‘I don’t need your praise. Tell Cass I called.’
He moved aside to let her past. ‘This is your mother’s fault, you know. None of it would be happening if she’d agreed to let me have you.’
‘Have me?’
‘You’d have been part of my family. I could have given you everything your sisters have.’
She looked him up and down with the contempt he deserved.
‘We’re all just possessions to you, aren’t we?
This may be hard for you to understand, Bernard, but I would hate to be a part of your family.
You and your sort disgust me. And by the way, I have no sisters.
It’s always been me and Mum. And that’s how I like it. ’
Her heart was racing but she he refused to leave the shop at anything faster than walking pace.
That’s not to say she didn’t want to run away again but she wasn’t going to let that man get the better of her.
When she got to the corner of New Street, her head automatically turned towards the window where Anton worked.
He was there, looking down at her. How did he do that?
It was as if he knew she’d be there. She took the flight of steps up to his practice two at a time and waived away his secretary’s protestations as she stormed into his office.
She was out of breath and her heart was still running too quickly when the words came out: ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d designed my father’s house? ’
His sigh was heavy and pointed and yes, there was that flash of irritation back again. ‘It was before I met you. When I realised the connection and what he had done, I decided you wouldn’t want to know.’
‘Uh huh, I see.’ Her voice was normal again now but the rest of her was still pumping. She was walking in circles in front of his desk, trying to work out whether that seemed plausible. ‘Tell me something else then. Did you see Cass and Andi at the hospital the day I lost the baby?’
A new look now. Bafflement? Or was it just put on? ‘I don’t believe so.’
‘You don’t believe so. Right. So you didn’t speak to Cass then, in the car park, say?’
‘No. Where did you get this from? Ah, of course. It was Andi. She’s wrong. Or lying. I don’t know which. Can we discuss this tonight? I have a meeting that I must go to.’
She nodded, not quite listening. Andi lying? No, she wouldn’t do that.
‘Can I get you some tea?’ said his secretary after he’d left for the meeting.
‘No thank you. Just let him know I’ve gone.’
She caught the train at Moor Street. Andi was leaving today but she hadn’t said what time. If she hurried she might just catch her. What she would do if she did catch her wasn’t quite clear yet, but there was every chance it would involve a new life in London.