4. Green Dude Woes
Chapter 4
Green Dude Woes
I didn’t know what was more comical about the entire moment that took place after our super chic car nearly took a nose-dive off a cliff—the fact that a dude sporting an all-black latex suit with green hair that defied gravity, looking like some kind of knock-off super villain, was fighting the pair of us while screaming like he hadn’t gone through puberty yet. Or the fact that Sloan, who’d already killed seven of the ten bastards Green Dude brought with him, was kicking all their asses half-naked with a hard-on.
Definitely won’t find this featured in any best-selling paranormal romance novels.
Probably worst of it all was how none of that even mattered to me anymore. All I wanted to do was put this asshole six feet under so I could get back to what I had been doing with Sloan. Only, there wasn’t any way to “get back to it” after Green Dude ruined the mood.
Fuck my life.
Upside to the entire situation was these dudes were clearly vampires, and it was like coming home to fight them.
Sloan brought a small arsenal with him. As any smart, well-prepared Hunter should. So when we fled the car, it wasn’t seconds later that the trunk was popped open and Sloan went ham on three nearby vampires .
My training kicked in, and I wasn’t far behind my fast-acting companion. After minutes, we were down to the high-wail Green King himself. But before I could go after the bastard with all the rage, resentment, and clever Hunter training I’d been forced to learn over the years, Sloan stopped me.
“He’s not a vampire,” was all he murmured, surprising me stupid for a second.
The Green Dude scoffed unattractively and crossed his arms over his chest. “They said you were good, but you’ll never be good enough for a trickster like me.”
Trickster?
“Yokai,” Sloan elaborated. “You could say his kind were what inspired Japanese folklore. Magic-using shapeshifters. You can count on this not being his true form.”
Oh, great. Another thing to add to the list of fucked up creatures I had yet to fight.
“Untrained Hunter? What a treat.”
“So what you mean to say is he wore all that latex voluntarily, when he could choose like, any other fabric existing in this plane or the next? And I mean literally any other fabric . ”
Sloan’s lips lifted into an amused smile, despite his predatory eyes staying with our foe. “Some people are just beyond help, love.”
“What are you saying?! I look amazing,” Green Dude argued, continuing the odd, mid-battle conversation.
I thought through attack strategies, but Sloan’s grip on my wrist was firm, and his sharp gaze suggested I shouldn’t make any moves without him. I hadn’t fought with the other Hunter since Eros, but I knew him well enough to know that whatever this dude was, it put Sloan on edge. He wasn’t moving or attacking for a reason.
“Hand over the girl and I’ll spare you.”
I clicked my tongue and chuckled without amusement. “You need to stop watching so many poorly-scripted action movies. Or at the very least watch some good ones. No villain ever lives after saying shit like that, dude. It’s lame.”
“This one always does,” he countered, smirking.
A grin reached my lips. “That’s about to change.”
Green Dude snickered into his hand ghoulishly, the latex creaking with the movement. “Oh, youthful ignorance.”
We’ll see about that, asshole.
The wind picked up around us, the leaves at our feet taking flight, and Sloan’s grip tightened. It was all I needed to act. We moved in sync as green flames spiraled our direction and exploded against a tree. It wasn’t like Eros’s magic, and it took me by complete surprise.
Of course he’d have weird green flames. I mean, why not? It wouldn’t be the first time my story deviated from its original plot.
My partner was quick to defend our position by throwing several daggers he’d retrieved from his belt at the green-haired nuisance. Flames shot up from the ground and consumed each blade, instantly liquifying them. Liquid metal splattered over the dirt, and my eyes dropped to it with nothing short of confusion.
What the actual fuck?!
“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” our foe cried out, cackling like he was the main villain in some B-rate anime .
Whoever wrote this dude’s lines needs to seriously re-think their writing career.
When Green Dude tossed me a self-confident grin, I swear I saw fox ears coming out of his neon-colored hair. “My hellfire is faster than even you, little girl.”
If this dude was Yokai-inspired, then I was almost confident after seeing a set of fox ears that he’d be what they called a Kitsunebi. Well, something like it anyway. I’d learned very few mythologies had it right. More like bits and pieces sewn together. Kitsunebis used hellfire, too. Or at least I think they did.
I needed to read more.
“I can teach you things you’d never learn as a Hunter, little girl. Things that would make your entire race cry.”
This asshole really liked to hear himself talk. And I swear, if he called me little girl one more time, I’d forget my training and just go for a kick to the balls.
Death by hellfire would be worth it.
“I’m good, thanks,” I snapped back, then lowered my voice, hand over my mouth like we were cute girls sharing secrets. “What beats this sort of magical fire?”
Thanks to Mr. Confident, I could ask questions. Normally during fights, mid-battle conversation was limited to grunts and necessary, last-minute warnings.
Full of himself, Green Dude didn’t bother to act in any way defensive. Not that he needed to when his hellfire liquified metal on impact. But he barely paid the two of us any mind. As if we posed no challenge at all.
Not a great sign.
Sloan readied his crossbow, but my companion’s eyes never wandered away from our enemy. Whether or not he had a reason to be that confident, clearly Sloan took this Kitsunebi-like villain seriously. “Nothing beats hellfire. Don’t let it touch you. You can’t regenerate if it consumes you,” Sloan whispered finally, our stand-off epic in nothing but daylight.
“Wait, what?!”
“Just don’t leave my side,” Sloan demanded before taking a protective stance in front of me. “Against this sort of magic, our only advantage here is he’s full of himself and we have each other. But never let your guard down.”
“Rude. I can hear you, Hunter,” the asshole muttered, feigning insult. “You people have no manners.”
“There are codes of conduct when it comes to killing and kidnapping innocent little girls with you evil types?” I asked searchingly, hoping to keep him occupied while Sloan slid his hand out of eyeshot.
“Clever trying to distract me, but I see what your companion is doing. Better luck next time, Hunter,” Green Dude taunted. “I already know who you are by how quickly you killed my vampires. Normal Hunters would’ve been overcome by those kinds of numbers.”
“These no-skill lackeys?” I clapped back.
“Were elder vampires, yes. You two made quick work of them, which suggests you aren’t on the same level as the rest. I’d been warned, but call me a skeptic. I haven’t seen Hunters this strong since I battled one who even the great Dark Fae fears.”
Phillip .
Well, at least this dude was as stupid as they got and appreciated a good monologue. Smart villains were hard to come by these days. Nothing like in the movies.
Green Dude yawned to himself and checked his watch. Yet another reason to scorn his outfit. Wearing a silver watch over black latex was outright ridiculous. I’d never let Phillip tell me I was a poor dresser again. Not with this dude walking around, wearing his latex ensemble like it was hot shit.
“I’d love to stay and play, but I’ve got very antsy bosses who expect their little princess delivered within the next thirty minutes.” His eyes dropped to Sloan’s bare chest, and I’d only just noticed myself his pants were buttoned again.
When did he do that?
“So sorry for spoiling your fun.”
Usually I’d bemoan a chatty villain, but today it bought Sloan and I plenty of time to orchestrate a silent plan. What little I did read about creatures with hellfire, they had two weaknesses: they themselves were slower than us, though magical hellfire was faster, and hellfire wasn’t without its limitations. If we could beat the speed of his hellfire or make him use more than necessary, exploiting the pause as it was forced to regenerate, then we could get the jump on this arrogant asshole.
Sloan never moved more than necessary, and he was always watching. He was looking to exploit an opportunity. It was Hunter 101 when you fought a foe stronger than you. Never act without a strategy, and Sloan was definitely forming a plan.
Certain hand signs and eye movements with Hunters were used to plan when words weren’t an option. I’d picked up on his coded actions over a long minute, decoded their meanings, and now I was biding my time until he signaled for me to start.
Our enemy’s eyes narrowed and his body tensed. The hand on mine jerked away, and it was the signal I’d been waiting for. We flanked the green-haired villain from both sides, putting space between him and us. Hellfire scorched the floor where we had once been and then took a wide path to follow us. It was a mad-dash to get into position, but we did it.
Sloan appeared behind Green Dude and kicked his leg out, landing it with punishing force on our little green-haired friend. But the Brit wasn’t fast enough, because green flames were already underneath him.
Fear hit my chest the same way it had when Sloan was close to being overcome by Eros. The feeling was so intense I was staggered by it. And in an instant, instinctively, my body knew what to do.
It wasn’t clear how or for what reason it reacted, but it did. Time slowed to a stand-still. Like before, the world around me froze as the green fire attempted to take hold of my companion. A wave of nausea hit my stomach and a strong, dizzying sensation occupied my head.
I grabbed hold of my knees to stabilize myself before I collapsed. The feeling finally eased a few seconds later, and I acted without thinking.
I didn’t know what these Yokai-inspired bastards were or how to kill them, but decapitation seemed to do it for just about any creature that ever existed—myself included.
Dashing towards the car, I stole a long sword from the open trunk and didn’t take in a single breath—not that I needed to anyway—before lopping off the Green Dude’s head.
I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t drop a badass line like they did in movies. I didn’t wonder for what reason I could stop time. I didn’t ponder my blood. I didn’t give two shits about anything but doing whatever I could to save Sloan.
It was weird to know my sword cut through but the frozen Green Dude’s head remained right where it was. So, I used excessive force to punt it with the handle of my weapon, and then stabbed him through his heart for good measure. Thinking for a minute, I spun and sliced through every limb before slashing through his torso in a zig-zag pattern.
I literally cut him to pieces to make sure there wasn’t any way he could survive. Honestly, I couldn’t cover enough bases at this point.
Hunter swords were among the sharpest and strongest weapons ever made, so I didn’t question whether or not it’d do the job. I refused to repeat our last fight’s mistakes. I wanted to be confident the bastard was dead, especially after he ruined my perfect night out and much-needed sexy moment.
It would’ve been nice to interrogate him and find out who his bosses were, but not if it meant Sloan was in danger. It may seem easy enough for other Hunters to put their own interests first, but I’d never let myself be that person.
Never.
Another wave of nausea hit before I was yanked away from Green Dude, now Very Dead Dude, and practically dragged across the dirt in a hurry to get me as far from our green-haired enemy as was physically possible. Guess my partner evaded the hellfire somehow, and I silently berated myself for not trusting him.
But it was Sloan’s harsh pants in my ear that surprised me the most as our enemy collapsed onto the ground, headless and no longer a threat. The arms wrapped around my chest tightened impossibly before I was spun around and kissed hard enough to taste blood on my tongue.
“I lost sight of you and thought the worst,” Sloan breathed against my lips after the kiss came to an abrupt end. “You disappeared and then you were in front of him. Was it…?”
Not used to hearing the man in any way hysterical, I nodded lamely. “The time thingy happened and I just…” I struggled to say anything with the raw emotion exposed on Sloan’s face. “I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made last time.”
His forehead met mine before I was released. “No. You did what any Hunter would. You exploited an advantage.” He turned to peer down at our slain enemy. “What brought on the power?”
The only thing that made sense was…
“You were in danger,” I muttered quietly.
His eyes tracked back over to me. “Me?”
“The hellfire, it…I thought it’d get you,” I managed to piece together, heart and soul on full display. “I—”
My face was already in his hands, and his hot breath bathed my kiss-swollen lips. “It was all going according to plan. I would’ve evaded it, V. I thought you knew me better than that.”
Thoroughly chastised, I dropped my gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry.”
His thick laughter rumbled between us, and my eyes were forced back to his before our mouths met in a much gentler kiss. “No apology necessary. It’s on me, this. It’s my burden to prove to you I’d never be overcome so easily.”
I opened my mouth, but Sloan pulled away and made a call.
“We’re not safe here. It’s time to move.”